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MONTHS WENT BY AND it was clear to Caroline that Regan had replaced Bill as her lover with one big difference. Regan was her first live-in, unlike Bill who only stayed when invited. She relished their animal-like love making and appreciated Regan’s superior technique compared to her former lover. Regan started to sense part of his goals were fulfilled. He now had a wealthy girlfriend, a Jaguar that Caroline had gifted to him and no money worries because Caroline insisted on picking up the tab for everything. He was in no rush to return to work just like Green had urged upon him. Nevertheless, he felt something. Something not right about Caroline and he also sensed she was dangerous. That was part of the bond between them. It was the same thing that attracted him to undercover work - a sense of danger and adventure.
Regan’s sense she was dangerous was reinforced one evening in a bar. A barrister approached Caroline in familiar tones but from a bygone era, “Hi Cee! Got any of that Colombian army marching powder?”
Regan watched from his table as Caroline reacted. She pushed the woman back to the wall, pinning her there with one arm to her throat. She fished in her shoulder bag and found what she was looking for - her manicure scissors. In one swift move she pressed the scissor blades under the woman’s eyes and hissed, “What the fuck is your problem? I have no idea what you are talking about. If you don’t shut the fuck up you will lose an eye. Got it?” The woman flung her hand up to her cheek to wipe the trickle of blood away. Caroline had pierced the skin under her left eye.
“I got it. You’re a fucking lunatic. Let go of me!”
Caroline released the frightened victim who scurried out of the bar exit doors into the street. Regan watched bemused as Caroline strode to the ladies powder room like nothing had happened.
Caroline locked the cubicle door behind her. Her thoughts were scrambled but there was a theme - no one will ruin my career. She idled the time away sitting inside the cubicle, staring at the plain white door with its stainless steel bolt. Her mind went back to better times with Bill. She recalled deep intimate moments with him and secrets shared between lovers. Bill had told her about his work and Regan’s plan to go rogue. He told her all about the cocaine deal and what happened in Miami.
Caroline’s thoughts returned to the present and Regan. She calculated the information about her new lover may in the future be useful so decided to keep it to herself. She also knew that could be difficult. Caroline Sewell knew herself well, her strengths and foibles. She knew she was a gossip. She could not resist telling her lovers all about her professional and private life. She suffered from verbal diarrhoea, a useful trait given her profession.
***
AS TIME WENT BY REGAN and Caroline were still as hot as ever. They became even closer. Caroline was so relaxed in Regan’s company her guard had disappeared. She was no longer circumspect about her drug habit or past dealing. Regan was wary but overcome by carnal lust. He loved the intimacy of the new relationship. While the sex was as good as this he had no inclination to analyse things. He wanted her and she wanted him. It really was as simple as that.
Regan and Caroline had dined earlier after Caroline finished her day in court. Indian curry was the joint decision washed down with cold beer. The couple arrived at Caroline’s flat soon after 11:30 on the Friday evening. Following routine, she asked Regan to open a bottle of red wine while she showered and changed. Regan poured two large glasses of Caroline’s favourite wine, a classic Barolo. He had taken a third sip and stretched out his long legs on the sofa listening to Chopin playing on the hi-fi. He was in for a treat. Regan let out a low whistle on seeing Caroline stroll in to the living room wearing nothing save for a G-string panty. Her long blonde hair was trailing down her back as she pirouetted so he could get a better view.
“You are amazing. Such a sexy woman,” Regan said.
“I know,” Caroline replied as she lay down next to Regan on the sofa. She quaffed a mouthful of wine then unbuckled the belt on his jeans. Caroline pulled on the zipper and tugged at the waist of the jeans. They were down at his knees when she ordered him to remove his underpants.
“You are the boss, Milady.”
“I know and you love it.”
Caroline’s head and long hair disappeared between Regan’s thighs. She stopped talking as her mouth was busy. A few minutes of oral massage forced Regan to stop his low moan and speak, “You’re going to make me cum.”
Caroline came up for air and said, “That’s fine. Just get ready to fuck me later in bed,” before she continued with her oral massage. Regan ejaculated letting out a loud moan. “That was fucking great. You are a porn star, not a fucking judge.”
“And now I’m going to get as drunk as a judge,” she said taking a gulp of red wine to wash down the part of Regan he had deposited in her mouth.
“I love it when you swallow.”
“Is there any other way?” Caroline smiled, licking her red lips.
She removed his jeans and underwear then lay her head in Regan’s lap.
“Let’s lie here a while, Steve.”
“Fine by me. We have music, wine and each other. Sounds good to me.”
“Steve, things are good between us. Agree?”
“Agree.”
“So do you mind if I tell you something?”
“As long as it is nothing to do with love or marriage, I am all ears.”
“I trust you. I want you to know everything there is to know about me. I mean everything.”
“Well, I can’t think what that could be because I already know you don’t change into a pumpkin at the stroke of midnight.”
“No! I’m serious, Steve.”
“Right. You’d better spill all then,” Regan said with a smile. That smile was soon wiped from his face as he listened to Caroline.
“Okay, but let me finish. Don’t interrupt me, okay?”
“Okay, you got me intrigued now. What the fuck is it?”
Caroline used the remote control to mute the music.
“The thing is I have something to confess. It’s something that if it ever comes out I can wave goodbye to my career, becoming a judge and probably end up serving at least seven years in prison.” Caroline shuddered, sighed and continued, “I have been using and dealing in cocaine for some time now. I knew it had to finish so I handed over the dealer and the business to another barrister, another coke head. But I am scared the truth will come out and I can’t afford to let that happen.”
Regan sat upright at one end of the sofa, taking in the scale of Caroline’s confession, but remained silent. He studied Caroline’s face while she spoke.
Over the next ten minutes Caroline unloaded her secrets while Regan sat and stared, showing no emotion. Monologue finished, Caroline said, “I needed to tell you. I hope you understand. I just can’t keep all of this in. It’s eating me away with worry.”
There was a silence, not an awkward silence, just silence.
The quiet was broken by Caroline, “Well?”
“Well what?” Regan snapped.
“Why are you being aggressive?”
“I’m not. I just want to know what ‘well’ means.”
“It means I want to hear what you think.”
“I am shocked. I’m furious. It’s bad enough you have a habit but dealing to barristers is pretty bad. For fuck’s sake, you are supposed to be respected professionals; a part of society expected to uphold the rule of law. You are no better than the scum on the streets. There’s no difference because you are all smart and use fancy words.”
Regan heard his own words inside his mind. How could he ever think of going rogue? He was a law enforcement officer. He knew drugs and violence went hand in hand; they were inseparable like Siamese twins. Drugs ruined people’s lives. In a flash, he knew who he was. More to the point, he knew drug dealing was not the solution to all the problems in his life. He had seen the precipice, experienced the temptation, and pulled back in time. Regan felt an inner relief.
“Caroline, you shouldn’t have told me. I can’t just forget it. I’m sorry.”
“What! You going to inform on me? You can’t do that! I got news earlier in the week my full-time appointment to Circuit Judge will come through any day now. I have worked so hard for this and I won’t let anyone stand in my way.”
