11

Rites of Passage

The characteristics of this event [initiation]
are marked by an expansion of the
mind to include an awareness of
higher levels of consciousness.

—Chic Cicero and Sandra Tabatha Cicero,
Self-Initiation into the Golden Dawn Tradition

 

 

 

As a Solitary Witch, you will generally be doing your rituals alone. But being a Witch means that you are a priest or priestess of the Old Religion. As a priest or priestess, you could be called upon to perform a rite of Wiccaning, Handfasting, Handparting, or Crossing Over (these are the equivalents of baptism, marriage, divorce, and death). On such occasions, the only change to your regular circle-forming is to enlarge the size of the sacred space to encompass everyone concerned. Treat the occasion as though you were inviting guests into your home, which is really what you are doing. Aim to make them comfortable but do things your way!

Let’s look first at Wiccaning, which is the equivalent of baptism. It is naming a child and dedicating it to the gods.

Wiccaning

As soon as possible after a birth, Witches will dedicate the child to the gods. At this ritual, the parents of the child announce to the Lord and the Lady that they will raise their child to honor the old gods. It is not making the child a Witch. Whether or not the child becomes a Witch is up to that child him or herself, at a later date, when able to make such a decision. At that later time, the child will either go through a coven initiation or, as a Solitary, will do a self-dedication (see chapter 9, “The Beginning” section). For now, though, there is the Wiccaning. This would be done at any Esbat rite. It may be done as a rite in itself, in which case the circle is cast and the Wiccaning is performed followed by Cakes and Wine and Closing of the Circle. If the Wiccaning is done as part of an Esbat, it is performed just prior to the Cakes and Ale.

* * *

Open the circle in the usual way. Have a small dish of anointing oil on the altar. The parents stand just inside the circle, to the east, holding the child. [If it is a single parent, that parent will speak both parts. I designate your part, as Solitary Priest/ess, by “SP.” ] When you have finished casting the circle, take the dish of salted water and go to the parents. Dip your fingers into the water and mark a pentagram on the forehead of each of them (not the child), kiss them, and say “Blessed Be.” This will serve as a cleansing in lieu of the bath that you have taken. Return to the altar. The bell is rung three times. Turn to face the parents and child and raise your wand in salute.

SP:	“All hail, and welcome to parents and child!” (Lower your wand and ask:) “What is the name of this child?”

The parents give the name by which the child will be known when in the Sacred Circle, until such time as it chooses its own name.

SP:	“I welcome you [Name of child] and greet you with much love.” (to the parents) “Do you wish your child to join in worship of the Lord and the Lady?”
PARENTS:	“We do, for without knowledge of the gods of old, no life is complete.”
SP:	“Well said! May you be doubly welcome. Now, present your child to the Four Quarters.”

Parents turn outward, at the east, and raise the baby in their arms to the gods.

PARENTS:

“Here do we present [Name of child] as a child of the Old Religion, to be accepted by the Lord and the Lady. So Mote It Be.”

They move around to the south and repeat the presentation, then to the west and north. They return to the east and turn back in to face the altar.

SP:	“Now bring the child before the altar.”

Parents move around to stand alongside the Solitary Priest/ess, facing the altar. SP rings the bell seven times then dips fingers in the anointing oil and draws a cross within a circle on the baby’s forehead and a pentagram on the chest, over the heart.

SP:	“Lord and Lady, we ask that you bless this child. Watch over her (or him), guarding and guiding her throughout life. When the time is right, bring her to this Sacred Circle once again, to dedicate herself anew to the gods on her own behalf.”
FATHER:	“May the Lady and the Lord smile down upon [Name of child] always.”
MOTHER:	“May they guard her and guide her along the path of life.”
FATHER:	“May they help her see that which is right and discard that which is wrong.”
MOTHER:	“And may they bring her at last, of her own desire, to this our Old Religion family.”
ALL:	“So Mote It Be!”
SP:	“I charge you both, in the names of the Lord and of the Lady, to take this child by the hand and to lead her along the winding road of life. Teach her the ways of the Craft, but tell her also of other religions and their beliefs, that when the time comes she may make a reasoned decision.
	Tell her the tales of the Craft of old, of the Burning Times and the times in hiding. Tell her of our many lives, both here and hereafter. Teach her to love all life. To live in harmony with all nature and all things. Teach her of the Lord and the Lady, of love and happiness. Teach her the Wiccan Rede.”
PARENTS:	“All this we swear to do, for the child and for the family of the Craft.”
SP:	“I bid welcome to [Name of child].”
ALL:	“Welcome!”

Then shall follow the ceremony of Cakes and Wine.

Handfasting

Handfasting is the Wiccan marriage ceremony. Witches may or may not wish to go through a legal marriage ceremony. If they do, it will be before a Justice of the Peace, or appropriate local official, or it may be at a Unitarian-Universalist church with a ceremony of the couple’s own devising. But what really matters to them is the ritual of Handfasting performed in the Sacred Circle. If the Solitary Priest/ess performing the ritual holds the requisite ministerial credentials, then that ceremony is sufficient for all things. But if not, then there should be a legal ceremony at some time in addition to the one in the Circle, if the couple sees fit.

The dress of the couple depends upon their tradition. Some wear white robes, some go skyclad, some will wear traditional cowan dress, such as a white wedding gown for the bride and a white tuxedo for the groom. Wicca Handfasting rituals vary considerably, depending upon the tradition of the Wiccans involved. Here is a typical one which could be used by an officiating Solitary.

This ritual should be performed in the waxing cycle of the moon. The circle and the altar are suitably decorated with flowers. Additional to the regular tools on the altar is a dish of anointing oil and a three-foot length of red silk ribbon and, if the couple wishes to exchange rings, the marriage rings. The wine goblet is full.

The Opening of the Circle is performed in the usual way, with bride standing in the east and groom standing in the west. After casting the circle, the Solitary Priest/ess goes first to the bride, and then to the groom, and anoints each of them with oil, drawing the cross within the circle on the forehead and pentagram over the heart, saying:

SP:	“Here I do consecrate you in the names of the Lord and the Lady. Be here in peace and love, with honor to all life.”

SP returns to the altar and rings the bell three times. Bride and groom move forward to stand at the altar, facing the SP.

SP:	“Welcome, and doubly welcome, to you who come to this sacred place to be joined in the time-honored Handfasting rite.” (to bride) “What is your desire?”
BRIDE:	“To be made one with my soul mate [Name of groom], in the eyes of the gods and of my brothers and sisters of the Craft.”
SP (to groom):	“What is your desire?”
GROOM:	“To be made one with my soul mate [Name of bride], in the eyes of the gods and of my brothers and sisters of the Craft.”
SP:	“Do you both wish this in the names of the Lord and the Lady, God and Goddess of the Craft?”
BRIDE AND GROOM:	“We do.”
SP (to bride):	“What do you bring with you to this marriage?”
BRIDE:	“I bring love and respect. I love [Name of groom] as I love myself, honoring and respecting him in all things.
	I will always support him in everything he does and join with him in love and praise of the gods in whom we believe. I will defend his life before my own. May the gods give me the strength to keep these my vows.”
SP (to	groom) : “What do you bring with you to this marriage?”
GROOM:	“I bring love and respect. I love [Name of bride] as I love myself, honoring and respecting her in all things.
	I will always support her in everything she does and join with her in love and praise of the gods in whom we believe. I will defend her life before my own. May the gods give me the strength to keep these my vows.”
SP:	“Lord and Lady, here stand two of your folk. Witness now that which they have to declare.”

SP rings the bell seven times. Bride and groom face each other. They grip right hand to right hand and left hand to left hand. SP binds the hands together with the red ribbon then holds the censer under their hands, censing them. SP then waves the wand both over and under the tied hands.

BRIDE AND GROOM:	“We come into this Sacred Circle of our own free will, to join together as one in the eyes of the Ancient Ones. We are no longer two individuals but are now two halves of one whole. Each of us is incomplete without the other. Be with us in all things, dear Lord and Lady, and help us cleave together throughout this life and beyond. All this we ask in your names. So Mote It Be!”
ALL:	“So Mote It Be!”

SP unties the hands, gives the bride the groom’s ring and the groom the bride’s ring. Bride and groom put the rings on each other’s fingers. They then hold hands.

SP:

“As the grass of the fields and the trees of the woods bend together under the pressures of the storm, so too must you both bend when the wind blows strong. But know that as quickly as the storm comes, so equally quickly may it leave. Yet will you both stand, strong in each other’s strength. As you give love, so will you receive love. As you give strength, so will you receive strength. Together you are one; apart you are nothing. Know that no two people can be exactly alike. No more can any two people fit together, perfect in every way, no matter how hard they may try. There will be times when it will seem hard to give and to love. But see then your reflection as in a woodland pool: when the image you see looks sad and angered, then is the time for you to smile and to love (for it is not fire that puts out fire). In return will the image in the pool smile and love. So do you change anger for love and tears for joy. It is no weakness to admit a wrong; more is it a strength and a sign of learning. Ever love, help, and respect each other and then know truly that you are one in the eyes of the gods. So Mote It Be!”

ALL:

“So Mote It Be!”

Bride and groom kiss each other, then SP. Then follows the Cakes and Wine rite followed by celebrations and the Closing of the Circle.

There are many variations on the Handfasting rite. If the ritual can be performed out in the open, with plenty of space, then it is not unusual to have a small fire burning at the east entrance and for the couple to leap over the fire at some point. This was an ancient fertility action enacted at fire festivals in many areas across Europe and elsewhere. Similarly, a besom, or broomstick, might be laid down for the couple to jump over, for promoting fertility.

Handparting

However much love exists at the start of a relationship, there can be no guarantee that it will last forever. In today’s society it seems to be not uncommon for married couples to split and go their separate ways. Although not encouraging marriage vows to be taken lightly, Witchcraft allows for this, believing that no one should be forced to stay bound together if that magic tie of love has gone. It is thought to be far better to make the break and go separate ways, perhaps in that way being able to find love and happiness again with someone else. To this end, the Wicca rite of Handparting is performed to give an official seal to the separation. The couple should meet together with the Solitary Priest or Priestess to decide upon a fair division of property, plus provision for the support of any children of the marriage. Everything should be put into writing and be signed by both partners. Neither should be coerced into signing what he or she does not believe to be fair.

The Circle is cast in the usual way, as at the start of an Esbat or any other ritual. Husband and wife stand with the Solitary Priest/ess at the altar. The written agreement is present on the altar. A length of red ribbon also lies on the altar. The bell is rung three times.

SP:	“What matter is it that brings you both before the gods, in this our Sacred Circle?”
HUSBAND:	“I desire to be Handparted from [Name of wife].”
WIFE:	“I desire to be Handparted from [Name of husband].”
SP:	“Do you both desire this of your own free will?”
HUSBAND AND WIFE:	“We do.”
SP:	“Has a settlement been reached between you, regarding the division of your property [if appropriate:] and the care for your children?”
HUSBAND AND WIFE:	“It has.”

SP takes up the document, examines it, shows it to the husband and wife, then returns it to the altar.

SP:	“You are both certain that this is the step you wish to take?”
HUSBAND AND WIFE:	“We are.”
SP:	“Then let us proceed. But be mindful, both of you, that you stand here in this Sacred Circle in the presence of the Mighty Ones.”

SP rings the bell three times. Husband and wife join right hand to right hand and left hand to left hand. SP loosely loops the red ribbon around their hands. The couple repeat the following line by line after the Solitary Priest/ess:

SP:

“Together repeat after me: ‘I, [Name], do hereby most freely dissolve my partnership with [Name of spouse]. I do so in all honesty and sincerity, before the Lord and the Lady as my witnesses. No longer are we as one. Now we are two individuals free to go our separate ways. We release all ties, rights, and obligations to one another, yet we will ever retain respect for one another as we respect and love all our fellow Wiccans. So be it!’”

SP pulls the ribbon away and the couple release their hands.

SP:	“Handpart!”

The couple remove their wedding rings, if they have them, and give them to the Priest/ess, who sprinkles and censes them.

SP:	“I here cleanse these rings, in the names of the Lord and the Lady.”

The rings are returned to the individuals to do with as they may.

SP:	“Now you are Handparted. Let everyone know that you are so. Go your separate ways in peace and love. Let there be no bitterness between you. Go in the ways of the Craft, as brother and sister. So Mote It Be.”

ALL:	“So Mote It Be!”

The bell is rung seven times. The couple kiss one another then kiss the SP.

The Cakes and Wine rite follows, as does the Closing of the Circle.

Crossing Over

Witches have many different names for the death ritual: “Crossing Over,” “Crossing the Bridge,” “Remembrance,” “Into the Shadows,” “Summerland Journey,” and more. With our belief in reincarnation, and knowing that all lives have been planned from before birth, Witches are probably better prepared for death than most people. However, it can still be devastating to experience the death of a loved one, someone who was especially close to you. It’s not so much that we are sorry for the person who dies; after all, they are experiencing a type of “graduation.” No, we are sorry for ourselves, that we have been deprived of that person’s energy, love, and companionship.

This rite may be performed by the Solitary Witch at any of the other rituals or as a rite in itself, preceded by Opening the Circle and followed by Cakes and Wine. If done with another ritual, it should be done just before Cakes and Wine.

There should be an extra white candle standing unlit in the center of the altar. Flowers may be arranged around it.

Ring the bell thirteen times, then say:

“I toll the bell of remembrance, rung today for [Name of deceased], who has moved on across the bridge to the Summerland. That [Name of deceased] is not here today, in body, is my loss and truly saddens me. Yet although I sorrow I also rejoice, for she/he has left this plane to move on toward the next lifetime. She/he has completed the life work that had been planned and now moves forward, through the light, to that which lies ahead.”

Light the central candle on the altar. Touching the wand to it, say:

“Here I send my love and my energies to help you pass across the bridge, into the light and into the arms of the Lord and the Lady. May your spirit burn as brightly as does this candle flame. You have touched many hearts in your time here and I, and others, will miss you. Blessed be!”

If there is anything you wish to say to the deceased, or about the deceased, now is the time to do so. If it is only “I love you,” or “I’ll miss you,” or whatever, it may be said to yourself or out loud (out loud would probably be better). Reminisce about the deceased, preferably remembering the good times, the laughter, and the jokes. Send love to the one who has gone and then, if you’ve been sitting or kneeling, rise. If you feel so inclined, dance deosil around the circle. You may chant the name of the one gone, or may simply chant “I love you.”

Ring the bell seven times, then take your wand and point it at a spot behind the altar, imagining the deceased standing there smiling at you. In fact, he or she may appear. Concentrate on sending love and joy, projecting your feelings along the line of your wand. When you feel satisfied, say:

“I wish you all the love and happiness I may. I will always remember you with love. You are always welcome at my Circles. Do not forget me. We will meet again. So Mote It Be.”

Then follow with the Cakes and Wine, followed by Closing the Circle.

 

 

[Note: This ritual may also be done for an animal, on the death of a pet.]