Chapter Three

The day would be going so much better if she could actually manage to concentrate.

Andrea pressed the back of her hand to her forehead and drew in first one deep breath, then another. Her cheeks were hot, probably red, and she was sure her hair was impossibly tangled from the way she’d been raking her fingers through it all day. She’d actually had to take her braid out a few hours ago because of the mess she’d made.

She’d thought she could handle seeing Brian at work. Had thought keeping things professional would be a breeze. Oh, how wrong she’d been. She couldn’t handle damned near as much as she’d thought. Whenever she saw him, she could only think about the things they’d done. About the intimacy in the way he’d touched her. And then her face would flush hotter and her inner muscles would quiver at the images that were still so vivid, even after the whole weekend had passed.

Even now, her nipples hardened. The man could kiss. She hadn’t known that about him. Had no clue he would be such an attentive lover. She still wanted him as much as she wanted her next breath, and the emotions scared the heck out of her.

Because she’d always been so focused on more important things, she’d kept dating and relationships on the back burner. Her night with Brian made her yearn for something more, a deeper connection with a person than the superficial involvements she’d allowed herself. The man was dangerous to her state of mind, and possibly a menace to her career. She still wanted him though. So bad her panties had been damp all day long. All she had to do was think about those fingers sliding into her for her nipples to go hard. Her sex fluttered and she squirmed in her seat, hoping in vain for a little relief. Tonight, when she got home, she would definitely be putting her vibrator to good use. Maybe then she’d finally be able to get a handle on her raging hormones.

The shrill ring of the phone jolted her out of her fantasies. She fumbled to lift the receiver and finally managed to bring it to her ear.

“He-hello?”

“We need to talk.”

A whimper threatened to escape from her at the sound of Brian’s voice. His tone was urgent, almost harsh, and it let her know he hadn’t been having an easy time of it today, either. Guilt settled like a ball of lead in her stomach. She’d really screwed things up this time.

“Not now. Definitely not at work.”

His sigh hung heavy in the space between them. “I know. It’s almost lunchtime. We’ll go somewhere and talk. I just wanted to catch you before you took off for lunch, seeing as you’ve been avoiding me since Saturday morning.”

She leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. Her face flamed and sweat broke out across her hairline. She hadn’t returned his calls because she hadn’t known what to say to him—or what to expect. “I haven’t been avoiding you.”

“You’ve always been honest with me before. Don’t start lying to me now.”

His tone alerted her to a possibility she hadn’t even thought of. Brian was still pissed. Not a little upset. Majorly ticked off and out for blood. She’d seen him angry like that before, but never had his anger been directed toward her. The idea of it made her shudder. “Why are you so upset?”

“Why do you think?” He bit the words out, and she could just imagine his seething expression. He probably had his hands clenched into fists while he paced his office—at least as far as the phone cord would allow.

When she spoke, she tried to keep her tone soft, soothing, to ease him. It had always worked in the past. She could only hope he’d still listen to her. “What happened wasn’t a big deal, Brian.”

His answering laugh held an edge that made her stomach roll. “Of course not, because sleeping with your best friend is an everyday occurrence, right? Just some casual fun to pass the time. Is that what Friday night was all about? You were bored and wanted a quick fuck? I really didn’t think you were the type.”

She swallowed down the bile suddenly clogging her throat. He was right. It was a big deal, and she’d be lying to herself if she tried to pretend otherwise. His cutting words made her heart clench. He couldn’t really think that about her. He knew her better than that. She said nothing, not wanting to agree or disagree with his sarcastic assessment.

“Look, I’m sorry,” he continued when she remained silent. “I’m not trying to be an asshole. Really. But we need to deal with this before it becomes an even bigger problem. If your day has been anything like mine, you haven’t been able to get a lot done.”

She opened her eyes and glanced at the ceiling, counting the textured tiles. He was right, yet again, but that didn’t make things any easier. She would prefer not to have to meet face to face to have this particular conversation. “I don’t have time for lunch. I’ll shoot you an email in a little while.”

“No way in hell are you going to reduce this to electronic communication. I’m not one of the clients.”

Tapping her fingernails against the smooth desktop, she relented with a groan. Better to get this out of the way now rather than let the worry gnaw away at her stomach lining. He wasn’t going to let it go, and she probably shouldn’t, either. They both needed some form of resolution. “Okay. Fine. We’ll talk over lunch.”

“Take an hour and a half today. I know you have the extra time since you don’t usually leave for lunch at all. I have a feeling this’ll take a while.”

Andrea would really prefer it didn’t. “Okay. I will.”

Twenty minutes later, seated across from Brian at the table, doubts began to seep into her mind. His jaw was set, his lips a grim slash across his face, and his ever-smiling eyes had gone dark and turbulent. The restaurant he’d picked was a quiet, intimate one, and the atmosphere only added to her discomfort. She squirmed in her seat like a kid caught breaking the rules. She wasn’t a kid anymore, but she had broken a rule. A pretty big one, in the grand scheme of things. Their boss, Gerald Rogers, had a strict policy against inter-office dating.

Not that she could really call one night of wild, hot monkey sex a date.

Unbidden, a laugh escaped from her mouth. Now she was starting to sound like Claire. She put her hands to her lips to keep it from happening again.

Her sister was right about Brian. He really was sexy. Andrea had noticed before, but in the way a woman would admire a piece of art. Stunning, but untouchable. Now she looked at him through different eyes. The eyes of a woman who’d had a taste of paradise and wanted more. A whole lot more. Too bad she couldn’t have it.

“What’s so funny?” The darkness in Brian’s eyes lightened up a little and she was grateful for it. The first sliver of normalcy since waking up on Saturday morning.

“This. Us. Everything.”

Brian steepled his hands. His gaze locked with hers and he seemed to be searching for something in her eyes. Heat flared behind the intensity in his expression. Her body responded even when she knew it was a terrible idea. By the time he spoke, she was ready to jump on him.

“I need to know what you want.”

He had no idea how difficult a question that was to answer. Her first instinct was to tell him she wanted him, but she quashed the words before she could blurt them out. “From you?”

“Yeah, from me. Where do you want to go from here?”

She licked her lips, feeling like everything would hinge on her answer. She didn’t want to lose Brian as her best friend. She didn’t want to lose her job either. There was only one thing she could say. “We need to go back to being friends. Just friends. We both know that.”

He didn’t blink, didn’t hesitate. “We’re good together.”

His words made her frown even as a frisson of heat danced down her spine. She’d anticipated agreement, not argument. They’d talked many times about love and commitment in the past, and she knew what Brian was looking for. He was a serial monogamist. He dated and would often fill her in on those dates, but as far as she knew, he wasn’t the type to sleep around, or even engage in a casual fling.

He knew she wasn’t interested in a serious relationship right now. Her career came first. Whether or not they were good together, her career would be over if they continued down this road. If they were discovered, she would be the one to lose her job. Brian had been at Regal Advertising a few years longer, and Andrea was a woman. It was twice as hard for her to crack that glass ceiling, and of course she would be the one let go. No, it wasn’t fair, but she’d long ago accepted how the business world sometimes worked. Their boss was a good old boy. Andrea had had to work her ass off to even get noticed in the first place. No way would she jeopardize all she’d worked for just because the guy was good in bed.

A voice in the back of her mind warned her she was wrong, that she was throwing away a good thing. What she had with Brian was more than sex. She ignored the voice, which sounded suspiciously like Claire’s. She didn’t have time to fall in love. Not now. Maybe not ever. There were more important things in life than that.

“We’re better as friends. There can’t really be anything else between us.” It was only a partial lie. At least that was what she needed to tell herself if she expected to survive, seeing him every day and wanting him the way she did.

She lifted her glass to her lips and took a long sip of ice water. She could get through this. She would have to. Time would dull what she felt for him. Eventually.

What did she feel for him, anyway? She had yet to take the time to analyze these new emotions. The situation got even more complicated because she and Brian had been so close before they’d gone to bed together. She couldn’t help but feel a few threads of attachment to the guy. Remember the friendship. Just keep him out of your bed.

The lust in his eyes as he stared at her warmed her from the inside out. Talk about a major case of easier-said-than-done.

“Do you really believe what you’re telling me, or are you trying to convince yourself of something you’re not sure of?”

She swallowed hard. As always, he’d managed to nail the problem. Not that she’d fill him in on that little detail. “You don’t agree?”

“I’ll have to, won’t I?”

Oh, God. Don’t do this, Brian. I’m not the right woman for you. “Think about it. We’ve been so close for more than five years now. Why ruin that? Who knows how long this…other thing between us will last?”

“I guess I’m just a better risk taker than you. Okay. I get it. You want to go back to being friends, I’m cool with that.” He picked up his menu and opened it, letting her know he was done talking about that particular subject. Fine with her. She would have preferred he didn’t bring it up in the first place.

His leg brushed hers under the narrow table, sending a jolt through her whole body. She would have thought it was an accident if he hadn’t done it again a few seconds later. What the hell was he trying to pull here? Had he not just agreed they should stay friends? She snapped her gaze to his. “What are you doing?”

“Sorry. It was an accident.” His smile told her it was anything but.

“Yeah, right,” she muttered, shaking her head and trying to concentrate on her own menu. Focus didn’t come easily, since he made her lose her place whenever he touched her. And he kept right on touching her, pretending it was no big deal.

“What? Are you doubting me?” He laughed, and she was glad the old Brian was back. The man she considered the best friend she’d ever had. The person closest to her in the whole world. Her work schedule didn’t allow for her to build close friendships, so to lose Brian would be to lose her anchor. Her lifeline.

She nudged his knee under the table and raised her eyebrows at him. “Of course I’m doubting you. Would you expect anything different?”

The waitress came by to take their orders then, so she never got an answer to her question. Brian just shook his head and threw her a look so familiar she had to grin. Though his touch still seemed a little too intimate at least he was willing to listen to her wishes instead of blatantly ignoring them.

 

 

 

As if the situation hadn’t been bad enough to begin with. Now he had to keep his hands off her, too?

Brian nearly groaned at the prospect. Yeah, this was going to be a piece of cake. Not. She’d tensed right up when he’d brought up seeing each other. Hadn’t relaxed until he’d pretended he wanted to be friends. Now she looked lighter, happier, like a giant weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Shit. If that wasn’t a blow to a guy’s ego, he didn’t know what was. She didn’t want him again, and he had a feeling there was a lot more to her reasons than she was letting on. She must have hated what happened between them.

How was that even possible? She’d come, hadn’t she? If not, she was damned good at faking it. He’d never had any complaints about his performance before. If she hadn’t been so responsive, he would have thought she was the one with the issues.

Unless she’d faked those responses, too.

He managed small talk until after the waitress brought them their meals, then he couldn’t take the suspense anymore. Not knowing what she really thought was becoming too much of a distraction. He cleared his throat to get Andrea’s attention. “Was it really that bad?”

Andrea glanced up from her salad, a frown on her face, but it soon dropped away and she burst out laughing. “I can’t believe you even asked me that. You were right there with me, weren’t you? What is it with you men, anyway? No, it wasn’t that bad.”

Okay, it was a start. Not glowing praise, but he could work with it. “But it wasn’t great.”

She shook her head. Ran her hand through her hair in a gesture he recognized as nervous. “Brian, it was amazing. Incredible. Just because it can’t happen again doesn’t mean I don’t want it to.”

Her face flushed a bright pink and she glanced down, letting him know she hadn’t meant to say as much as she had. He opened his mouth, ready with an I-told-you-so retort, but then changed his mind and clamped his jaw shut again. She was skittish enough already. No sense scaring her away. A surefire way to get her running in the wrong direction would be to rush her. He still didn’t know what he wanted out of this. How could he expect her to know? She was the one who had serious commitment phobia.

Hold on. Her words registered and his thought processes came to a screaming halt. Had she just said he was amazing? Now that was more like it.

Instead of telling her what he really thought about her hesitance, he forced a grin. “Cool. Hey, are you busy tonight? I thought we could get a pizza and rent a movie.”

Her flush drained from her face, leaving her ghostly pale. She stilled her hand, her fork halfway to her mouth. “I can’t. I have to work. There’s talk that Mark Putnam is retiring and there’ll be a partnership up for grabs.”

Under the table, he clenched his hands into fists. Her statement pissed him off for two reasons. If she thought she was going to push him out of her life, the stubborn woman had another think coming. He wasn’t going away anytime soon. And the idea of her going for that partnership worried him. Jealousy wasn’t the issue. He had no interest in it for himself, but he didn’t want to see Andrea work herself into an early grave like her father had. A heart attack in his forties. Not a pleasant thought.

With the way Andrea was going, she’d be headed down that road soon. Her stress level was always so high, and thanks to those damned lists she made to organize her time, she had every moment of every day scheduled. Not that Brian was a slacker. He could—and did—work his ass off with the best of them. He just understood how important it was to leave the job at the office. Andrea had yet to figure that out, and he had a feeling she never would, unless someone showed her what she’d been missing.

“A couple hours of your time. That’s all I ask.”

“No, really. I can’t. Thanks, though. I’ll definitely take a rain check.”

She wouldn’t. They both knew it. Already she was trying to distance herself from him, like she had on Saturday morning. He’d walked away then, fuming at her sudden dismissal. Here she was, sending him packing again like he was the hired help and she’d grown tired of him.

What she didn’t know was this time, he didn’t plan to let her.

He wasn’t sure yet, but maybe she was the one. Only time would tell—but not if Andrea wouldn’t even give them a chance. He loved her as a friend. Could he love her as something more? He intended to find out, even if it took seducing her body first, and then her mind.

 

 

 

The chime of the doorbell, three times in rapid succession, yanked Andrea from her train of thought. She mumbled a curse and set her laptop aside. There were only two people who would bug her when she had a boatload of work to do. Brian and the bride from hell. At this point, she couldn’t figure out which one she wanted to see less.

When she opened the door to find Brian standing there with a pizza box in his hand, she started to tell him to go away, but then she got a whiff of the pizza and changed her mind. Her stomach growled, giving her away. Pizza was one of the few indulgences she allowed herself, and damn him, he knew it.

She raised her eyebrows. “Extra pepperoni?”

“Is there any other way to eat a pizza?” His smile made something deep inside her flutter. She pressed her hand to her stomach to quell her reaction.

Despite her misgivings—and despite knowing she should grab the pizza and slam the door in the jerk’s face—she stepped back and let him into the apartment. She was so weak. She hadn’t told him to stay away because she had work to do, though in truth, she did. She’d asked him not to come over because she didn’t trust herself around him anymore. It killed her to admit it, but tonight, when she was exhausted and stressed, all he would have to do was crook one finger and she’d probably embarrass herself by falling at his feet.

It didn’t help that he had the nerve to show up looking damned sexy, dressed in a tight white T-shirt and a pair of well-worn black jeans. The stubble on his face and mussed hair suggested he’d just climbed out of bed, but she knew better. He’d probably been to the gym, and the hair was messy from towel drying it after his shower. Whatever the reason for it, the effect worked. As soon as he turned his back, she licked her lips.

Brian walked into the kitchen, set the box down, and started rummaging through the cabinets like he owned the place. His comfort in her home had never bothered her before, and it shouldn’t now. For some reason, a bit of anxiety settled into her gut. She had to bite back the urge to tell him to leave her stuff alone. What was wrong with her? This was Brian. Her friend. The one person she could tell all her secrets to. So what if he’d seen her naked?

If only that was the whole problem. She could get past that. What she couldn’t seem to move beyond was the way she’d begged him to take her to bed. It had taken a couple bottles of wine to show her how lonely and needy she’d become. She hadn’t had anything stronger than water to drink tonight, and already she could feel her resistance slipping. Would one more night really be such a terrible thing?

Yes. Couldn’t happen. One more night with him in her bed might be her undoing.

“Hey,” Brian said softly. She shook her head to clear the cobwebs and glanced up at him. Concern etched his face, his eyebrows knitted into a frown. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. Just tired.” Still catching up after the weekend that had blown her world as she’d known it apart. Even now, she still wanted him. Whenever she saw him, her panties got wet. Now, with him standing so close, bearing a gift in her favorite form of takeout, it was all she could do not to rip his clothes off and have her wicked way with him right there on her kitchen floor.

And here she’d thought slipping back into friendship would be doable. She should have known it would be downright impossible.

Her face warming, she turned away, walking toward the fridge to grab a couple cans of diet cola. She avoided Brian’s gaze until they’d settled down on the couch in front of the TV and she’d picked up the remote from the glass-topped coffee table.

“Excuse me?” Brian asked, his tone light and teasing. He held out his hand, wriggling his fingers the way he always did when they watched TV. It had started years earlier, when he’d learned how indecisive she was when trying to choose something to watch.

Andrea slapped the remote against his palm, laughing at the mock seriousness on his face. Of course, he was only half-joking. He was a guy, and therefore possessed the inborn need to hold the remote at all times when the television was on. “What is it with men and the stupid remote? Is it that hard to let a woman take control of the television?”

“It’s a security issue.” He flipped through the channels before finally settling on a local newscast. Decision made, he stuck the remote between his thigh and the arm of the couch, out of her reach unless she wanted to climb over him to get it. “If we have control of the remote, everything is right with the world.”

She rolled her eyes. If only everything in life were so simple. So basic. As if a little silver box covered in buttons could be the answer to everyone’s problems.

She took a bite of her pizza and closed her eyes for a brief second at the incredible flavor of it. Spicy, cheesy, and so greasy she could have blotted it with a napkin before eating. No food could ever be more perfect than this, and she knew what she was talking about. She was the queen of take-out, even if most of the time she ordered something a little more health-conscious. Though she knew how to cook and had a pretty decent collection of recipes, her schedule didn’t often allow her the luxury anymore. Plus, living alone, she just didn’t see it as sensible to cook a huge meal for one person.

After washing the bite down with a swig of cola, she set the can on the coffee table with a thump. “There are bigger problems with the world around you than who holds the remote control.”

“Yeah, but this is an issue I can fix immediately.” The intensity in his gaze hit her right where it counted and made her gulp. One corner of his mouth rose in a ghost of a half-smile. “The other issue, the bigger one…well, that’s sort of out of my hands. At the moment.”

The last three words made her heart pound. At the moment. Was he planning to do something about their situation? And more importantly, why did she suddenly hope he was?

Because she was…interested. She could deny it all she wanted, but the truth smacked her in the face anyway. When she’d told him she wanted to go back to being just friends, she’d lied to both of them. Exploring this new development in their relationship held a lot of appeal. As Claire had told her time and again, sex for the sake of sex was never a bad thing. The emotional connection she had with Brian would make it so much better.

They might not be able to announce it to the world, but they could be discreet. He seemed agreeable. More than willing, if the heat in his gaze meant anything. All she had to do was say the word.

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. She was a sad, weak woman to want him as much as she did. What would be the harm in taking him back to bed? Absolutely none. Claire was right. Andrea deserved this.

Maybe it was time to stop fighting and take what she really wanted. At her age, it was well past time to start exploring her sexuality a little further.

“Did you really come here to watch TV tonight?” she asked him. If he said yes, she might have to kill him. He was the one who’d wanted more than friendship. He’d told her they were good together.

“That depends.”

“On what?”

“On whether or not you’ll be mad when I say no.”