Chapter Seven

It was damned hot in this attic. Hot and musty, smelling of decay and old paper like the reference section in the library. Brian swiped the back of his hand across his forehead and it came away soaked with sweat. The six-pack David had brought was long gone, finished in the first half-hour he and his brothers had been up here, and Brian was wishing he’d thought to bring one himself. Or to bring something. Even a water bottle would have been appreciated right about now.

He stood and made his way through the maze of boxes, trunks, and old clothing racks to the single window in a dormered section of the roof. At first, it seemed painted shut and Brian let out a curse, but with some finessing he managed to get the window open. It wasn’t much cooler outside than in, but at least the breeze made it feel a little less stuffy.

“You guys have to check this out.” Jake’s voice carried across the huge attic and Brian made his way to where his brother crouched, digging through an old box of pictures.

The three Storm brothers had volunteered to help their parents clean out the attic, since both Rachel and Amanda lived out of town. It wasn’t long before they’d found out this was a huge case of “it seemed like a good idea at the time”.

Brian hadn’t realized it, but his parents were packrats of the first order. The attic was stuffed so full he could only assume every single thing they’d acquired and no longer found useful had been packed in a box and tucked away up here. This many boxes, old newspapers, and books had to be a fire hazard.

“Look at this,” Jake said when both Brian and David had gathered around him. “This picture. I remember when this was taken. It was the Easter after David was born.”

Brian settled on the dusty floor next to Jake and took the picture his brother offered. All four of the older siblings stood on the front lawn, the boys in little dark suits complete with bow ties and the girls in fancy dresses and white hats. David lay in a carriage next to where Rachel stood.

“That was the last year we ever dressed up,” Jake reminded Brian. “Remember? You refused, saying the tie made you feel like you were choking, then the rest of us followed suit.”

Brian laughed at the memory. Yeah, he remembered hating those clothes, and hating the tie even more. What was worse, their mother had made them comb their hair, something almost every child dreaded. On holidays, she’d actually expected them to be clean. The rest of the year, with five of them all so close in age, chaos had taken over the Storm household.

Growing up in a big family, Brian had always known someday he wanted one of his own. Wanted a wife and a whole bunch of kids. A house full of memories. He’d always thought he would find that one woman for him, but then Andrea had changed everything. Her indecision was tearing him apart inside.

He fucking loved her.

And if that didn’t bite, he didn’t know what did. He had no clue when it had happened. Hell, for all he knew, it could have been years he’d been denying himself the emotion. Now, the fact that he hadn’t been able to find a woman remotely close to what he’d been looking for made sense. He hadn’t needed to look. She’d been right in front of him the whole time. He’d been too stupid—and too stubborn—to see it.

“I knew you were upset, but I didn’t realize how upset until now.” Jake’s words and the elbow to his arm yanked Brian back to the present.

“Excuse me?”

“You look pissed. What’s the matter? I know it doesn’t really have anything to do with the house.”

Actually, their parents putting the house up for sale had a lot to do with it, but he’d only admit that to his brothers under serious duress. “It’s nothing important.”

“Not much of an explanation,” David said, eyebrows raised.

“It’s all you’re going to get.” Brian pushed off the floor and walked back to the corner where he’d been digging through boxes of old books—far away from his brothers—but they both followed him.

“What’s up with you and Andrea, anyway?” Jake asked, and Brian felt his blood go cold. Was it that obvious?

“Why do you ask?”

“We’ve always wondered that.” Jake grabbed a box from the stack and tore open the old packing tape. “The woman is cute. Sexy, but in a serious sort of way. I don’t get the whole ‘just friends’ thing. She’s obviously into you.”

“No, she really isn’t.”

“Yeah, she is. I’ve always thought there was something going on there. The way she was leaning on you in the living room the other day. The way she was looking at you.”

“The way you were looking at her,” David chimed in.

Brian shoved away the box in front of him and stood, brushing his sweaty palms down his denim-covered thighs. It was bad enough that Amanda knew. He didn’t need his brothers finding out next. They’d never let him live it down. He headed for the stairs, suddenly parched and needing a glass or ten of water. “Whatever.”

David’s laugh carried across the stuffy attic. “There’s also Amanda’s insistence that you two are sleeping together.”

The words brought Brian up short. He muttered a curse and leaned against the wall, his gaze focused on a point ahead of him. “When did she tell you that?”

“When I asked her.”

The amusement in David’s voice made Brian wheel around, hands clenched into fists. This was so not funny. If David kept it up, he might end up with a fist in his face. “Why would you go and do a stupid thing like that?”

“Come on, Brian,” Jake cut in, ever the mediator between his two younger brothers. “It was pretty damned obvious to all of us the other day that something had changed between you. You’re not very good at hiding your emotions, and apparently, neither is she.”

Brian raked a hand through his hair. Jake was wrong. She was good at hiding. A little too good. And emotions apparently no longer had a place in their relationship. “It’s complicated.”

“How complicated can it be? She’s a woman, you’re a man, and with they way you two are always together, it was only a matter of time before this happened.”

“It’s not what you’re thinking.” Hell, it wasn’t even what he’d been thinking it would be. Why had he ever thought they could move from a friendship into a deeper relationship? He’d been an idiot. He should have left her apartment that first night instead of staying like she’d asked him to. That one move had fucked up everything for life.

“Then what is it?” Jake prodded. “Because it certainly seems like you’re sleeping with the woman.”

Brian hesitated. He had three choices here. He could lie, tell the truth, or say nothing and get the hell out of the attic. Lying held little appeal, and walking away would be akin to an admission of guilt. The only viable option would be to tell the truth, but that would also be to admit failure. He settled for a non-answer instead.

“Are we going to get through these boxes today? Trash day is tomorrow and mom wants the junk out on the curb before we leave.”

Neither of his brothers said a word, but they didn’t make a move to pick up some of the boxes they’d labeled as trash, either.

“Are you finally going to stop being so picky and settle down?” David asked, and Brian shook his head. If only it were that simple. Settling down with Andrea would be incredible. Too bad she wanted nothing to do with commitment.

“It’s just sex.”

His brother said nothing, and Brian continued into the silence. “Really. We’re not involved. She doesn’t want a real relationship, and lately, even the friendship seems to be suffering.”

David shook his head. “That sucks.”

“No shit.” Talk about the understatement of the year.

“What are you going to do about it?”

He raked a hand through his hair and glared at David. So now, because David was married, he was suddenly the expert on relationships? “What the hell am I supposed to do?”

“Tell her you love her.”

If it were that simple, he would have been all over it a long time ago. “I don’t love her.”

“Then why are you so upset?” Jake cut in, always the voice of reason.

Brian had nothing to say to Jake’s comment, so he kept his mouth closed. He’d already said too much as it was.

“Tell her, or you’ll both be miserable,” Jake continued into the silence. “Trust me. I’ve been there.”

If it were really that simple to solve a host of problems with three little words, the world would be a much better place than it was.

 

 

 

Brian finished washing his hands in the kitchen sink and grabbed the towel hanging from the stove handle to dry them. He and his brothers had made a lot of progress, separating the trash from the treasures and labeling each box as such, but there was still too much…stuff in that attic. Hell, in the whole house. How were they supposed to decide which of their childhood memories to keep and which to throw away?

He turned around and saw his mother standing in the doorway, her hands on her hips. She focused him with a concerned stare. “Is everything all right?”

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?”

“Because you don’t look very good right now.”

Probably because working upstairs had practically melted him. “It’s about a hundred and fifty degrees in the attic. We took out all the trash for you. Next weekend, we’ll come back and see if we can get through the basement.”

“Rachel and Amanda would like to help, too. We’ll plan it a little better. Maybe make it into a family project. You can bring Andrea along if you like.”

He had a feeling it would be a good long while before she wanted to spend time with his family again, after Amanda had cornered and questioned her. Andrea would be pissed when she found out Amanda had blabbed to his brothers. “She’ll probably be busy.”

Busy avoiding the real issues that surrounded them. Busy pretending everything was okay. Busy working her ass off to get ahead, and working herself toward a heart attack at the same time.

“Is there something wrong?” his mother asked.

“Why are you guys really selling the house?”

She smiled. “We finally finished paying it off, and we realized it’s just too big for the two of us, now that you’re all starting to settle down with families of your own. It’s bothering you, isn’t it?”

He started to deny it, but what would be the point? She had women’s intuition honed to perfection. She’d see right through him. He nodded instead.

“I figured you would have the most trouble with it.”

“Why is that?”

“You like everything in your life to be in order. You always have, even during your high school and college years when your father and I worried that you’d gone a little crazy.”

Was it any wonder he hated change? Every time he tried to change things, he fucked them up. His life right now as a prime example.

“Did you ask the others if they wanted to buy the house?”

“They’re all settled into their own houses already. They wouldn’t want this old place.”

“Maybe they would.” Maybe somebody would. It would kill him to see a complete stranger get a hold of it and start changing things. Yeah, the place needed a fresh coat of paint and some updating, but it seemed blasphemous to think of anyone outside the family doing it.

“Why don’t you buy it?”

He frowned. He’d never thought before about buying a house by himself. He’d always assumed it was something he and his wife would choose together. But here he was, thirty years old, no wife and no prospects. He wasn’t rich, but he’d been saving money since he’d started his first job at fourteen and had more than enough for a down decent payment.

“Maybe I will.”

Her eyes widened, as if she hadn’t expected him to agree, but then the surprise quickly faded to a smile. “It’s a big house for one person.”

“I won’t be alone forever.”

“I know. I just…I want to see you settled down and happy like your brothers and sisters.”

“You aren’t the only one.”

“Are you seeing anyone right now?”

He thought about his answer for a few seconds, but then gave her the truth, or at least his version of it. “No.”

“A house is a big responsibility.”

Good thing he wasn’t a slacker. “Why are you trying to talk me out of it? You suggested I buy the place a second ago.”

“I know. I just don’t want to see you get in over your head.”

He’d never been in over his head. Not once. He’d always taken the safe route. The only risks he’d really taken had been small, like the tattoos. Until Andrea. She’d changed him, but he didn’t know yet if it was for the better. Maybe now it was time to test out a few risks.