FLISS SANK INTO the metal chair in frustration.
Delays weren’t uncommon—especially during Relief in Place—with the sheer volume of air traffic, thanks to the change of troops at the beginning and the end of tours of duty, but she still didn’t relish the prospect of being stuck at the Air Force base for the next thirty-six hours, waiting for a new part that had to be flown in for the aircraft.
At last they were finally out of the overheating tin can on the runway. Seven hours stuck out there in the blistering sun, after what was supposed to have been a brief, routine refuelling stop-over, had been quite enough.
But it wasn’t just about where they were. Or the delay. It was the fact that Ash Stirling was still in her head. A dark bleakness stabbed at her. He hadn’t sought her out the previous day. He hadn’t summoned her. He hadn’t even got a message to her. Something, anything, it wouldn’t have mattered.
Logically, Fliss knew the way tasks were at Camp Razorwire; they had a habit of swallowing up days before you even noticed it. But she couldn’t shake the rejection and it attacked her more violently than it had in many, many years. It was over. Done. She needed to relegate to the past an imperfect experiment. But if she closed her eyes she could still feel the sheen of moisture on that impossibly hard body, take in the citrus and leather scent, hear the sensual huskiness of his voice.
Dragging herself back to reality as she exhaled a deep breath, Fliss pulled her bergen in between her legs and began to untie it to grab a couple of items packed closest to the top.
Regrets were useless; the situation had been taken out of their hands. She needed to straighten her head out. Starting with accommodation. Cot-beds had been set up in the neighbouring hangar and if she was quick enough she might even bag one of the choicest locations in the quietest corner.
‘Ah, Colonel Stirling, your driver is ready to take you.’ A voice from behind snagged her attention. ‘You have a seat on the first direct commercial flight out of the main airport in the morning. Unfortunately, the airport hotel was already fully booked but I took the liberty of booking you into a hotel in the nearby tourist resort.’
‘That sounds fine, Sergeant.’
If merely hearing his name had set the hairs bristling on the back of her arms, pausing in the action of retrieving her wash-bag, the sound of that rich, steady tone was enough to make her heart falter before galloping off.
What was he doing on a flight out of here too?
His infantry battalion wasn’t due to leave for another week, which could only mean something bad. Without stopping to second-guess herself, Fliss stuffed the items haphazardly into the top of her rucksack, snatching at the closing ties and dragging it onto her shoulder as she sped across the floor.
‘Colonel?’
There were too many soldiers around to risk using his first name but she trusted that he would see beyond the clipped tone. However, he didn’t stop, striding confidently away from her and towards the main doors so that Fliss was forced to call again, barely concealing the note of panic in her tone.
To her relief he stopped, turning slowly, aviator-style glasses in his hand and an expression she didn’t recognise cloaking his handsome face. She stopped abruptly, thrown. He looked like hell.
‘Major?’
He was the very definition of poker-faced. She swallowed nervously. How was she supposed to do this with people all around them?
‘I’m in a hurry,’ he bit out. ‘Walk with me.’
Without waiting for an answer, he turned and walked out of the doors, the wall of heat from outside hitting her despite the air-conditioning within the hangar. She stared after him, then her legs acted for the rest of her body, carrying her right along behind him. He’d walked to the end of the path to the road where the car was waiting for him. They’d moved out of the line of sight from the glass doors and no one was around.
‘Is everything okay, Ash?’
Something flickered over his face, perhaps pleasure at seeing her, but then it changed to something she couldn’t identify, and it was gone as quickly as it had arrived.
‘I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to speak to you.’ His clipped tone gave nothing away.
She waved it away as though it hadn’t mattered.
‘But are you okay?’
‘Of course.’ He hesitated a fraction too long. ‘But I have some…loose ends to tie up in the UK. My promotion was never meant to take place until the battalion had returned from Razorwire; it just got accelerated after Colonel Waterson’s accident.’
‘You’re booked on a commercial flight?’
‘It’s time sensitive.’ He shrugged.
If she was overstepping, he didn’t show it. In fact he showed no emotion at all. Unease rippled through her.
‘Should I…would you like me to come with you?’
It had taken Fliss a lot to make the offer. The look he cast her was flat, expressionless. Her stomach pitched.
‘Why would you do that?’
‘Just to talk? Or…to finish the other day, if you like?’
Flat eyes stared at her. Then, all of a sudden, Ash’s gaze turned hard and demandingly hot. It raked over her, as though virtually stripping her right down on the concrete. She could barely breathe, let alone move.
‘You want to do that?’ he demanded harshly.
‘I want to,’ she confirmed.
‘All right, Major.’ She hoped his use of her rank was because someone was approaching—his driver, perhaps. ‘You can share my ride. Inform the duty sergeant and ask him to book you a flight and a hotel room.’
Had he misunderstood?
‘Wait—’ she lowered her voice ‘—I meant…’
Without warning, he pivoted, advancing on her so quickly they were almost toe to toe and she had to tip her head right back to look up at him. Every nerve-ending sizzled.
‘I know exactly what you meant, Felicity,’ he muttered under his breath. ‘But if you want to keep the illusion of propriety, you’ll want the duty sergeant to book you your own room with your own bed. Understood?’
‘Understood,’ she murmured in response.
He was so close she could feel his breath on her skin and the effect on her body was an immediate pooling of need between her legs. No man had ever affected her the way Ash did.
‘Good. Then I suggest when I step away you look as though I have just given you a bit of a rollicking.’
‘Right.’
Allowing him to step away, Fliss ducked her head and looked respectably contrite.
‘Understood, Colonel, I’ll deal with it right away.’
She turned to return to the duty sergeant at the desk.
‘Leave your bergen here, Major.’ He softened his voice just a fraction but it was enough to quell some of the fluttering in her chest. ‘I’ll get the Corporal to load it into the car while you make the arrangements. We don’t have all day.’
* * *
‘Major?’
Ash peered over his shoulder, not expecting to see Fliss’s soundly sleeping form. He paused, catching his breath. She looked even more breathtaking in slumber than she did when she was awake, as though she didn’t have a single care. Thick, dark lashes rested gently on her smooth cheek. Her breathing was slow and steady, for once not waiting to jerk awake at any unexpected disturbance.
Anger punched at his gut.
He shouldn’t have agreed to this. He’d been in shock for the last two days, working on autopilot and remembering none of it. He’d only consented to her coming because the moment she’d stepped up to him in the hangar, the bright energy spilling from her had seemed like the very thing he needed to help him keep the darkness at bay. Without her, he knew it would engulf him and he didn’t know if he’d ever make it back ashore.
Dragging her with him now was selfish and cruel. He was using her.
But if he made damn sure it was the best night of her life, then did it matter?
‘Major—’ he increased his voice whilst keeping it deliberately cool. ‘Time to wake up; we’re here.’
She finally stirred and offered a decidedly feline stretch, and as the seat belt running down the valley between her breasts grew taut, so did Ash’s body.
It was ridiculous, the effect she had on him.
But it was also exactly what he needed.
The last time he’d experienced such unrestrained lust he’d been sixteen and still discovering the thrill of sex. Unsophisticated but exhilarating. He’d soon unlocked the skill and perfected the sophistication. But Fliss brought back that youthful excitement—the innocence.
She peered out of the window then gazed back at him through sleepy, lowered lashes, which did little to calm his racing pulse.
‘Already?’ She looked shocked.
Second thoughts, perhaps?
Ash waited until the Corporal had climbed out of the four-by-four and was headed around to the back to collect their bergens before speaking urgently.
‘If you’ve changed your mind, you can always go back.’
She could also stay in the room that the desk sergeant had booked for her, but he didn’t want her to feel under any kind of misplaced obligation.
‘I haven’t changed my mind.’ The gaze she shot him was both loaded with promise and a little nervous. ‘I just expected the drive to feel a little awkward.’
So had he.
As the Corporal opened the back door, they both climbed out of the vehicle.
‘Do I remember passing though somewhere and seeing a lot of floats, or did I dream that up?’ she asked the young lad politely.
‘It’s Summer Festival time, ma’am,’ the Corporal offered. ‘Towns up and down the island celebrate in different ways. There’s a parade with floats and live music and dancing not far from here tonight.’
‘Really? It all looked beautiful.’ She nodded. ‘I’ve never been to a festival.’
‘Never, Major?’ Ash asked curiously, the suddenly pained expression in her eyes twisting at his gut, helping him to compartmentalise his own worries.
Already he was feeling more at peace than he’d felt in the last forty-eight hours.
‘No.’ She shrugged lightly, swiftly covering the moment.
He might tell himself it was none of his business but his mind kept asking questions.
Wordlessly, Ash reached for the rucksacks, passing Fliss hers as he hoisted his own onto his shoulder before thanking the young NCO and wishing him a safe return, then striding ahead into the cool hotel lobby to begin check-in. He couldn’t even stop to see if Fliss was accompanying him. In uniform, and with the Corporal around, there was no place for chivalry.
Moments later he heard her greet the other receptionist at the far end of the four-metre-long desk and begin to confirm the booking the desk sergeant had made back at the airport base.
‘I’m sorry you weren’t able to get onto the six a.m. flight tomorrow morning with your colleague,’ Ash heard the clerk saying.
‘It’s fine; don’t worry.’ Fliss’s soothing smile carried in her tone. ‘I was more than happy to get the early evening flight.’
‘Still, the hotel would like to offer you a complimentary massage treatment in our spa, as well as use of our facilities even after the midday check-out.’
‘Gosh, that’s really kind of you,’ she enthused in typical Fliss fashion. ‘Thank you; I’d appreciate that.’
Images of Fliss’s luscious body instantly flooded Ash’s brain and he burned all over again, suppressing a grin. Yep, there was no denying that something about the woman transported him back to his teenage years.
His eyes slid across to hers for a fraction of an instant before she bowed her head with a flush. But not before he’d caught the sparkle of delight at his unrestrained interest.
Ash marvelled at the fact that neither Fliss herself, nor her fellow soldiers, appeared to be able to see past their perception of a prim, uptight, rigid rule-following major. There was so much more to the woman, so much raw passion, which bubbled away barely beneath the surface. She was like one of those papier-mâché volcanos Wilfred had taught him to make in their little man shed at the bottom of the garden. But instead of adding white vinegar to the bicarb mix to make it erupt, all Fliss would need would be a little love and the emotion would spill out of her.
Where the hell had that come from?
It was just another reminder that he should stop this now.
Instead, as though an invisible thread bound them, Ash concluded his check-in and moved along the desk to stand by her, his arm deliberately touching hers as he rested it on the granite surface. Unremarkable to any onlooker, but as his skin seared at the contact and goosebumps sprung up over Fliss’s arm Ash experienced a renewed sense of satisfaction.
‘I understand it’s the Summer Festival across the island at the moment; we saw some floats on the way here?’ He deliberately faced the clerk rather than Fliss.
‘That’s right, Colonel,’ the young man agreed. ‘There’s a parade tonight. I could book you a taxi if you like; it’s only about a ten-minute drive away.’
‘What do you think, Major; shall we give it a go?’
‘I…well… I thought this was about…?’ With a subtle side-step she broke the physical contact and took a breath. ‘If that’s what you want, then we’ll go.’
Relieved to occupy his mind, Ash narrowed his gaze at Fliss. Whatever made Fliss uncertain about going tonight, it wasn’t just about wanting to finish what he’d started with her the other day. She was avoiding something.
The question was, what?
He’d spotted a moment of sheer longing in her regard when she’d mentioned the floats. As if it was something she wanted to see but couldn’t bring herself to do.
He turned back to the young desk clerk. ‘A taxi sounds fine.’
‘Very good, sir. And will you be dining in the hotel restaurant?’
Beside him Fliss stiffened; evidently she preferred the structure of a known location. Yet another reason to change things up and see if he could get past those prickly defences of hers.
‘No,’ Ash decided. ‘Thank you but I think we’ll wing it and enjoy the festival atmosphere. Major, I’ll be over by the lifts when you’ve concluded here.’
Before she could object to the change in evening plans he hoisted up the rucksacks, ignoring her attempts at a protest and leaving her with only a smaller one for appearance’ sake. Then, making his way to the seating area, he watched her ramrod-straight back as she controlled her frustration, instead maintaining her charming smile for the clerk whilst she concluded her check-in.
By the time she finished and marched over he was already holding a lift for her and she stepped inside and pivoted stiffly around, opening her mouth.
‘Which floor, Major?’ he enquired politely, effectively cutting her off.
‘Oh.’ She halted, flipping the keycard over to check her room number. ‘Fifth. Please.’
She waited for the lift doors to close before turning on him.
‘Why did you do that?’
‘Do what?’ he asked innocently.
‘Decide we should go to the parade?’
‘Don’t you want to?’ He kept his voice deliberately even. ‘It sounded like a bit of fun after the last six months you’ve had out there. Is there any reason you wouldn’t want to go?’
She hesitated a fraction too long. ‘No.’
‘Okay.’ He smiled carefully. ‘So, what’s the issue?’
Fliss lowered her bergen, clearly buying herself time. ‘I thought tonight was about…’ She flushed. ‘I don’t know what it’s about. Talking, or…sex, I guess.’
He deliberately didn’t react. He couldn’t say the same for his body.
‘You weren’t planning to eat?’
‘I…obviously.’
She didn’t fool him; she clearly hadn’t considered food at all. He suspected she’d been so caught up in doing something out of character that she’d only geared herself up for the moment itself, without thinking around it.
In a sense it was flattering.
‘You just thought we’d go to the room and get down to it?’ he continued, not unkindly.
‘Well…no.’
‘How exactly did you think the evening would pan out, Fliss?’
‘I don’t know but I…we were going to…sleep together…the other day,’ she croaked eventually.
‘For the record, there wasn’t going to be any sleeping going on.’ He arched his eyebrows.
She shivered in appreciation. ‘No.’
‘But at least then it would have been spontaneous. Natural,’ he pointed out. ‘This isn’t the same. I just thought it would be nice to go for a meal together, chat a little, let things develop at their own pace.’
She paused. He was throwing her off, one minute firing her up and the next trying to relax her. She wasn’t sure if it was deliberate, or if Ash himself was having trouble deciding which he’d rather do.
‘That does sound…nice. But why go out? The restaurant has a good reputation.’
‘And it’s also too close to the bedrooms. Do you really think you’d be able to relax? I felt it would help to get right away from here for a few hours, release the pressure valve and just get to know each other a little.’
Not entirely a lie.
‘Is that what you usually do? Get to know your one-night stands?’
‘I’ve told you before, you shouldn’t go on reputation alone. Yes, I like to know a little about a woman I might choose to have sex with. And, even if I didn’t, I’d like to know a little about you.’
He let her digest that for a moment, wondering if it would frighten her off. He already knew enough to know that talking about herself was the last thing she enjoyed doing.
She sucked in a steadying breath, her words slow and thoughtful.
‘You’re talking about a meal and an evening out?’
‘Yes.’
‘Kind of like a date?’
‘Exactly like a date.’
‘Okay, then.’ Fliss offered him a weak smile just as the lift stopped and the doors pinged open.
Rucksacks in hand, they walked along the corridor together.
‘Fine, then how about I meet you in the lobby, say around nineteen-hundred hours?’
‘Nineteen-hundred hours.’ She nodded as she stopped at a bedroom door. ‘This is me.’
Obligingly, he set her kit down and as he stood outside her door he debated the wisdom of his decision to wait. It took a dignified effort to continue along the corridor.
A linen closet separated his room from hers.
Slipping his keycard out of his pocket, Ash deftly passed it through the lock, opening the door before he could change his mind. But in his peripheral vision he could see Fliss still stuck at her own door, stabbing the card into the reader. He watched it flash red a couple of times. Pushing his door open, he dropped his bergens inside and strode back down the corridor to take the keycard gently from her fingers.
‘Don’t be so rushed,’ he murmured, sliding it gracefully through the lock and seeing the green light. Like some kind of sign. ‘Take it slowly.’
‘Slowly,’ she echoed shakily. ‘Got it.’
They both knew they were talking about more than the lock.
‘You’re sure you’re not coming in?’ Tentatively, she raised one hand to touch his lapel with her palm.
He knew it was her attempt to avoid having to go to the carnival, but it still had an effect. He groaned. His self-control was barely intact as it was.
‘Fliss, I’m trying to do the gentlemanly thing here.’
‘I never asked for that,’ she whispered. ‘It wasn’t the gentle side of you which attracted me in the first place.’
‘You wouldn’t like the other side of me,’ he growled.
‘How do you know?’
They stood, unmoving and silent, until she snatched back her hand, yanked at the door handle and stumbled over the threshold.
‘Never mind. You’re right. I’m not exactly the kind of woman who elicits impulsive tendencies.’
He followed her in swiftly, catching her shoulders and spinning her back around as he drew her close.
‘That’s where you’re wrong.’
His hands cupping her face, he pinned her back against the wall and lowered his mouth to hers. She tasted every bit as sweet as he recalled, but this time it was laced with a hint of ferocity, as though heightened by the frustration of their last encounter. He caught her lower lip in his as her hands inched up his arms to rest on his shoulders, her body moulding itself to his despite the uniforms in the way.
This needed to stop. It wasn’t the way he wanted things to go between them.
She flicked her tongue over his.
With another groan Ash deepened the kiss, so long and deep that his only thought was that he could drown in her kisses and never want to come up for air. Heat licking over him, his hands glided up her body to rest at the underside of her breasts. He wanted to touch every incredible inch of her body, and have her touch every single inch of his.
As abruptly as he’d started it, Ash drew away, his voice rasping. ‘Now do you see that you’re the kind of woman who can drive a man wild with longing?’
Without another word, he hauled open the door and marched to his own room before temptation undermined him.
Closing the door, he leaned heavily on it.
This was no longer just a matter of a distraction from the blackness inside him. Or about getting past Fliss’s prickly armour. It was more than that. It had become a matter of exerting his own self-control. He wanted her with a need that actually scared him.
He couldn’t allow his emotions to rule him like that. If he could control the course of the evening, rein in his hunger for Fliss long enough to get through a date, then enjoy one incredible night with the woman before walking away and never looking back, then maybe he could indulge in his desire for her without losing his prized self-control.
He had to. If he didn’t, then stirring any emotions tonight could bring the whole lot crashing down.