Two days later Charles came in for dinner and afterward he asked her if she’d like to take a walk with him. Megan said yes quickly. They set off across the fields and he said, “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you Megan.”
Her heart skipped a beat. “I’ve enjoyed getting to know you as well. This place, too.”
His smile held a hint of mischief. “Well I am hoping you will like the place I am about to show you too.”
Her heart thudded against her rib cage. Was the house ready? If it was that could only mean one thing. It was time for them to wed!
He took her hand. Their feet moved across grass and dark earth. The smell of cows and leather and horses and wildflowers all mingled in a heavenly scent. The wind blew softly and she smiled broadly as they crested a small hill and the first sight of her new home came into view.
It was low and wide like Cecily and Thom’s and the other houses she’d seen along those plains. Cecily had told her that building a two story house was foolish because of the high amounts of snow that fell, and the piercing cold. Those things made building two story house not only impossible due to the inability to heat so many rooms but too time-consuming and in a place where winter came on suddenly and building had to be finished quickly.
The porch sat wide and deep beneath the overhanging roof and windows glinted at her. Glass! Cecily had explained the hardship of getting glass, and also told her that many had to use their shutters over the glass in the winter nights to keep the glass safe from breaking and to keep the house warm.
Still, glass! She could open the shutters in the winter days and let sunlight in. That he had gotten glass, and that he had considered what would make a wife happy, made her want to cry.
“You put in real windows.”
Her voice was husky. He squeezed her hand and she turned her head, tears standing up in her eyes. He nodded at her, “There’s more, inside.”
She walked side by side with him toward the house. Charles opened the thick and sturdy door and they stepped into a sunny room filled with light. Like Cicely’s house it had a double-sided fireplace to keep the house as warm as possible. There was a sofa with a plush seat and several rockers, obviously hand-carved, as well as a low table and several shelves where she could put the things she wanted to decorate the house with.
The kitchen was large and pleasant and there was a spanking new range in place against one wall, and a high table and four chairs. She held one hand to her chest, trying to contain the joy bursting from her.
“Oh Charles! How did you get all this done?”
His smile was tinged with a hint of sadness. “Well after my folks died my sister and her husband decided to take their house since their brood just got a little larger and their house had gotten too small. They had plenty of furniture though so I took some of my parent’s things. I hope you don’t mind.”
Her throat ached. “I don’t. I think it’s wonderful that we can keep them in your memory by using their things.”
He hugged her, Their bodies met and she felt the happiness radiating out from him and into her. His chin rested on the top of her head as he said, “Thank you. That’s a very kind thing to say. Some women would have wanted to have all new things.”
“I’ve never had all new things so I wouldn’t know how to ask for them anyway.”
His hand stroked along the top of her neatly braided and put up hair. “You really didn’t have it very easy, did you?”
Her eyes misted over. “No, but I don’t wish things were very different. I appreciate things now and I might not have if I had had the easiest life.”
He stepped back. His face glowed and he dropped a kiss on her forehead, making her pulse race and a feeling drop over her that she had not known in a very long time. She felt protected and cherished. Loved and wanted. Was that what Cecily had meant when she had said she would know if Charles loved her or not?
He showed her the rest of the house. The bedroom where they would sleep was wide and bright and filled with a double bed, a set of chairs and two large chests for their clothes and other sundries.
There were two other bedrooms. One was small and perfect for a nursery and the other was the perfect size for growing children.
But the best was yet to come.
He opened a slim door on the opposite side of the hallway from a small linen closet that held many of his mother’s old linens. She expected another closet so she was stunned by the sight of a water closet rather than a closet with shelves.
Her mouth hung open. “Why, why Charles!” Her hands fluttered up to her mouth. The commode was plain and very bare. The wash basin had a tiny handle and when she twisted it water came out. Her hand went back to her mouth. “Why. Why...I don’t even know what to say!”
He burst into laughter. “Don’t tell Cecily but Thom gave me the idea. He’s putting one into their house after the cattle drive. He already ordered all the fixtures and he dug the hole for the well pipe and drainage pipes too. You have to pour the water down, see...” he demonstrated.
It was splendid. It meant no more trips to the outhouse or washing in a bedroom. She could hardly speak. Many of the grand apartments in the city had water closets but she had never had one and now that she did it was so rich, and such a luxury that she could not even form words to express her gratitude.
“Oh I am so glad Cecily is getting one too!”
Charles laughed. “Thom said she’d love one, and that he hates for her to have to brave the cold in the winter mornings and evenings. I don’t think anyone is very fond of it either. To tell the truth my uncle put one in last year and now all the womenfolk are wanting them. So I figured I would just go ahead and do it now while I already had the house going up.”
“It was so thoughtful. Thank you. I mean it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
He took her hand and said, “I guess now that the house is done we have to talk about the rest of it. I want to get married very soon. Is Saturday too soon? I know it is just a few days away...”
“No, that is not too soon at all! I bought a plain dress for the wedding, just a sort-of off-white dress with a little lace. I thought I could wear it later if you didn’t mind and that way it would be worth the cost. I know most women save their wedding dresses for their daughters but my mother always said a dress that could be worn often and well was a way better bargain than one your daughter might or might not want to wear decades later.”
She blinked. “I’m so sorry. I’m just babbling away. Um...anyway no Saturday is not at all too soon! Oh!”
She threw her arms around him and hugged him until the air came whooshing out of his lungs. He laughed and held her too. They stood there in the water closet, the most unlikely place of all for that fierce embrace, laughing and hugging and saying everything there was to say without a single word at all.
Eventually they broke the embrace off. Charles said, “I’ll just walk you back to Cecily and Thom's.”
She asked, “Have you been living here then?”
He nodded.” I had most of it done. It was that water closet that took the time.”
He held her hand as they went out. She asked, “Can I see the gardens before we go?”
Charles nodded, “Of course.”
They headed toward the back of the house and she smiled with pleasure when she saw the long rows of herbs and vegetables. There was a small apple tree, and she picked one then held it to her nose. “Why is it so small?”
“They’re crab apples. I hope to grow sweeter apples eventually but right now those are all we got. They’re good for the horses and I think Cecily and my aunts use them to make a set for jellies and jams. They make a decent pie too. You just won’t like them all by themselves. They’re pretty tart. They grow wild and plentiful around here and the wood is best for fires because it smells nice and burns a very long time.”
She dropped the apple into her pocket and they continued onward. The beans were coming on well and there were peas and onions, carrots and turnips, and potatoes as well as tomato bushes and a pepper plant!
They walked through the rows and she smiled as she saw fresh blooms on vines. The idea of having so much work to do was exciting, and she was looking forward to it.
But more than anything else she was looking forward to getting married and starting her life with Charles as his wife.
They headed back to Thom’s and she leaned against him a little. He put his arm around her and he squeezed her shoulders gently.
Her happiness was so great her feet practically skimmed over the ground.
When they got back he told her goodnight and left. Thom was reading by the fire and Cicely cut two large pieces of a sour cherry pie and they sat eating their slices and talking softly in the kitchen.
Megan described the water closet with glee and then added, “Oh it’s all so wonderful! I have never had anything of my own before though. I am a little worried about how well I will do but I want to take care of that place. I want to fill it with laughter and love and children.”
Cicely wiped her mouth and grinned at her. “Well, since I am going to be having a baby pretty soon it looks like yours will have playmates.”
Megan’s eyes widened. “Really? Oh how lucky you are!”
They smiled at each other and Cicely whispered, “I already know that Thom is building me a water closet but I won’t spoil the surprise but I will admit I will be glad to have it!”
They giggled softly over their pies and Megan asked, “How did you find out?”
Cecily’s eyes gleamed. “Oh it was hard not to guess given I saw the work that Charles did to put yours in and Thom’s doing the same work here. I know he is looking forward to revealing it to me so we’ll just keep it between us that I know and act very surprised when he unveils it.”
After they had finished their pie and the dishes washed Megan went to bed and so did Cecily and Thom. As she undressed and washed it occurred to her that tomorrow night would be the last night that she slept in that room. That the next night would be the last night of her life that she would be unmarried, and a young woman alone.
She crawled into the bed, her mouth curved upward and so much joy in her heart that she could barely sleep at all. She laid there looking at the shadows shifting on the ceiling and then it happened.
The torrent of grief that she had unleashed on the train, silent and soft as it had been, had only been a small amount of the grief that she had been holding in for so long.
She’d been holding onto that grief, holding to it like a friend she couldn’t bear to release.
It came out. All of it. Tears scalded her cheeks and she twisted and writhed in the bed. She stayed silent so she wouldn’t disturb her hosts but she let it go. Her tears soaked the pillows. Her eyes burned as she remembered all the people who had died that tragic day and the fear that had dogged her footsteps. She cried for each and every soul gone too soon and for the first time she found herself not railing against God for the cruelty of that day but letting it all go. She would never understand what purpose he had had in doing that, and that was okay.
She didn’t have to understand. She didn’t have to understand to know that whatever plan had gone into effect that day, it had been none of her doing. It had all been part of some great grand scheme. She’d survived when so many others had not, and now she was here and all the things that had been missing from her life filled it.
She had a good friend in Cecily, and she knew when she met the others she would like all of them too. The only reason she had not met them all yet was because of the sheer amount of hard work that was going on right now. Cecily had told her that there was still work to do in the winter but not nearly as much and that there was a lot of socializing in the winter because being social was a nice way to help pass the time.
Soon, in the autumn, there would be harvest dances and quilting bees. There would be large family dinners too. Every Sunday one of the women hosted the entire family at her house and she was looking forward to her turn at that.
The family kept to the day of rest but they visited each other and spent much time doing things that were simple but enjoyable and she was looking forward to Sundays filled with church and food and family and friends. She was looking forward to being alive.
She had sort of given up. She hadn’t realized it but until the day she had gotten off that train and met Charles there had been a part of her that had given up ever actually living again.
Maybe she had never really lived at all. Oh she had drawn breath and she had worked hard and even gone to church. She had not actually known what life, with all its richness of joys and pleasures and tragedies, really was until the moment that storm of grief came boiling out of her and left her husked out and clean and ready to start over and actually live with every fiber of her being.