––––––––
“Liam,” Lisbeth whispered.
I stood up. My entire body went numb.
Lisbeth eyes darted between Logan and her brother. Then, they turned onto me, filled with the undeniable hurt of someone freshly betrayed.
How could you? she seemed to say.
“Lizzie, I had no idea Liam was going to be here.”
“But Logan? You knew he was here, didn’t you? That was what that sound was from earlier.”
I had to hang my head.
Lisbeth scoffed. “Unbelievable,” she muttered.
Liam stepped loudly into the kitchen, filling up the entire room with his presence. “Whatever Carmen did, forget about it. Personally, I’m glad. You should’ve told me the moment you got into town.”
“Why?” Lisbeth cried suddenly. She jerked up from her chair to face her brother, standing a head shorter than him but emanating just as much ferocity. Both Olsens were black-haired and lithe as panthers, and it was just a matter of waiting to see which one would get their face torn off first.
“You came here for safety. You admitted that yourself. Did you think you could protect yourself?” He cast a disdainful eye over her petite frame. “Did you think Carmen could protect you?”
I looked away when he waved in my direction and caught Logan’s eye.
“I can take care of myself. I’m nine—”
Liam threw up his hands. “You’re nineteen! I forgot! You ran away practically every year since you were twelve, you were dumb enough to get hooked on drugs and tricked into becoming a whore, but now that you’re nineteen, I guess I can trust you.”
Lisbeth took a step back, flinching as if she’d been slapped.
I reached for her shoulder. “Liam, don’t you think you’re being a little harsh?”
“Don’t.” He shook his head, clenching his jaw. “Just don’t, Carmen. You’ve done enough.”
Movement in the hallway caught my eye. We all turned to look at Xander hovering in the doorway.
“Why’s everybody yelling?”
He scanned the entire room, and I tried to imagine what we all must’ve looked like to him, a bunch of adults standing defensively, either pale with guilt or red with rage. Xander’s eyes lingered on Liam, who was struggling to release the frown on his face.
I was the first to break the silence. “We were just talking, Xander. Come on, let’s get you back to bed.”
I took him by the hand and guided him back to his bedroom. The glow from his bedside lamp was like warm honey, and once I shut the door behind us, it was as if we’d entered a different dimension. Xander climbed into bed, content in the relative silence, but I could still sense the trio arguing in hushed tones back in the kitchen. The air was like static, charged by the spark of their anger.
“Mom,” he began when I sat down next to him, “is Lisbeth in a gang?”
“No, she’s not.”
“Are gangs bad?”
I smoothed the hair off of his forehead, wondering how much he’d heard and how much of it he’d be able to understand. “Yes. Gangs are bad. Only bad guys are in gangs.”
Xander appeared to have satisfied his curiosity. I helped move the stuffed dinosaur on his nightstand into his reach, and he fell asleep clutching it to his chest.
I walked back into the kitchen to find all three in the same exact positions.
“I’m taking you to Noah,” Liam hissed.
“No!”
I raised my hands. “Guys, I’m sorry to have to break this up, but my kid’s asleep now. You need to go.”
Liam didn’t even look at me. He raised his eyebrows at Lisbeth. “Well? Hurry it up. Let’s go.” He stalked out of the room, stomping away with the intent of a man who was used to giving orders and having them obeyed.
The corners of Lisbeth’s mouth turned downward. She looked deflated, exhausted from all the arguing. “Thanks a lot, Carmen,” she muttered before escaping through the front door.
It was just me and Logan now. I rubbed my eyes, suddenly craving sleep. I opened them to find that he’d crossed the room to stand in front of me.
“How’s he doing?”
It took me a moment to realize he was talking about Xander. I exhaled loudly.
“He asked me some questions about gangs,” I said. “That’s pretty unacceptable if you ask me. He has school tomorrow. What if he tells the kids in his class that his mommy has friends in a gang?”
Logan cringed. “Shit. I’m so sorry, Car.”
I looked over Logan’s head at the ceiling, exasperated. “It was my fault for inviting you. That’s on me. But you should’ve at least let me know that Liam was coming.”
“I had no idea it was going to be like this,” Logan said.
“Look.” I paused to rub my temples. I had too many feelings rushing around inside of me, and I was too tired to make sense of them all. “Just go,” I finally said.
“Okay,” Logan said softly. He touched my elbow, perhaps hoping for a hug or even a kiss. When I didn’t respond, he began moving toward the door. “Then, goodnight, I guess.”
The door clicked shut quietly when he left. I dragged myself into the bathroom to wash my face. My bed rushed up to meet me as I collapsed into it, and I fell asleep to the sound of a motorcycle engine fading into the distance.