Chapter 17

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Lisbeth dozed on the whole ride home. By the time we got to Liam’s apartment, she was out cold and had to be lifted and carried out of the car. There was a sunrise in the sky when I finally said my goodbyes to an exhausted Aspen.

I still had to pick up Xander, but there was something else in the back of my mind. Alan had mentioned that he was taking his business out of Arizona. Did that mean to Nevada? Maybe it was a good thing. He’d be taking his activity far away from Canyon City, Lisbeth, and my son. But what did that mean for Logan?

It was only going to take me about two hours to see for myself. Xander and Shayna probably would’ve appreciated the extra time to sleep in.

* * *

The house was easy enough to find. After taking the main road out into the desert, all I had to do was keep driving until that little gray structure popped into view. I struggled to force my car over the gravelly dirt driveway and parked in the shade of the house.

The front door was hanging open. That could not have been a good sign. There was a stinging dryness in my throat. I swallowed as I stepped out of the car and into the house.

“Hello?” I said. “Logan?”

My eyes adjusted to the darkness. There was nothing to see. As in, literally nothing. All the breath fluttered out of my lungs as I took in the main living room from corner to dusty, empty corner. All of the furniture had been cleared out without even a spare sock to indicate that there had once been life here.

My footsteps echoed as I circled the room. I closed my eyes and inhaled, picking up notes of wood, smoke, and coppery dirt. Even in its empty state, the house still smelled like him.

Suddenly, I jumped as goose bumps crawled up my arms. I heard a car pulling loudly into the driveway right behind my own. I walked to the doorway just in time to see Logan stepping out of a silver coupe.

“Carmen?” he said, squinting at me. He was holding a broom.

I felt myself blushing. “H—hey.”

“What are you doing here?”

I stepped aside as Logan walked in, not stopping to acknowledge me. “I was looking for you,” I said.

Logan’s smooth movements faltered slightly. Then, he turned himself away from me and began sweeping the floor. “Why?”

“I guess I wanted to see if you were leaving town since...you know.”

“Uh—huh.” Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. “Well, I’m not leaving yet.”

“Okay. Good.”

Logan shoved his broom handle to the floor, surprising me. He finally looked at me, but I had to look away. His blue eyes could’ve burnt holes right into my skin.

’Okay, good’? Why don’t you tell me how you really feel?”

I parted my mouth to defend myself, but Logan cut me off.

“I treated you nice, Carmen. I blew my cover for you, which is a fireable offense, just so I didn’t have to lie to you anymore. I helped you help Lisbeth, because I could see how much you cared about her.” He spread his arms dramatically. “And you blew. Me. Off.”

“Logan, I—”

“What else am I supposed to do? Do I have to fucking discover a new element of the Periodic Table and name it after you? Do I have to build you a castle with my bare hands? Tell me, Carmen. What else can I do to let you know that I actually really, really like you?”

He finally stopped, watching me for an answer. I took a deep breath.

“I got your letter, Logan.”

“And?” he said impatiently.

“And I think you’re right.”

Logan’s expression softened. He lowered his arms.

“I did give up. I was scared. I haven’t exactly had the best luck with guys. Sure, it’s all nice and easy in the beginning, but things always got complicated a few months in. In the end, they always competed with Xander for my attention. When you came around, I was...” I gulped. “I was happy for a while, but I didn’t want things to get hard for me and Xander again.”

“Car,” Logan said. He stepped toward me, close enough to touch me if he wanted to. “You basically blamed me for what happened before we met. You realize that, right?”

I shrugged. “I’ve dated a huge variety of guys. In the end, they only wanted one thing.”

Logan shook his head. “That’s because you’ve been seeing boys. It’s time you got yourself a real man.”

Before I could respond, Logan’s hand stretched forward and wrapped around the back of my neck. He pulled me toward him, and our mouths crashed together. My heart swelled about three sizes in my chest as we shared what felt like my first kiss ever.

“Carmen,” he whispered against my lips. His fingers traced across my jawline, down my collarbone, and to my chest. He explored my curves and settled his grip on my ass, indulging in a tight squeeze before grinding his hips against mine. “I need you, Carmen.”

My heart threatened to bang out of my chest. I pulled myself away with a gasp and touched my throbbing, bruised lips. “I have to go. Shayna’s watching Xander for me.”

Logan’s eyes fluttered. He captured my gaze, staring deep into me. His hands were still on my body, but his grip loosened. “Have dinner with me tonight.”

I had a shift, but if there was ever a time to call in, this was it. If Terrence gave me trouble, I could just drop Logan’s name and see how he reacted.

“Okay.” Optimism swelled up inside of me. I was afraid of it. I didn’t let myself smile.

Logan seemed to be following a similar vein of thought. His expression was mixed and unreadable as his hands finally fell away from my body. “Then, I guess I’ll see you tonight.”