Tonight was what the production team had coined Date Night. Molly had just finished giving her eyelashes a quick once over with the wonder mascara that, it turned out, wasn’t that wonderful at turning short red lashes into long, dark ones, when she heard a tap on her door.
Lauren stood outside, clip board in her hand. ‘Is now a good time for the chat with your parents?’
‘Ooh, yes.’ In her rush to get ready, she’d totally forgotten that before they went out, everyone had a scheduled video link with their family or friends. A way of giving the viewers a glimpse into what they really thought of the person they’d been matched with.
She followed Lauren down to the heart-to-camera room, and felt a ball of emotion lodge in the back of her throat as the images of her parents flickered up on the screen. She might have been unlucky with her real parents – a father who’d not even wanted to meet her, a mother who’d left her – but she’d won the lottery with her adopted ones.
‘Hey there,’ she greeted them, swallowing to clear the ball of emotion from her throat. ‘How are you both?’
Her mum, silver hair in a neat bob and wearing a simple white top, waved a hand in the air. ‘We’re fine, sweetie, but we’re not here to talk about us, we want to talk about you. How are you doing? We were so upset when we saw you weren’t partnered with Duncan like you wanted. And then to find that man you are with was the same one who broke your heart…’
‘Your mum was swearing at the television on your behalf,’ her dad interrupted. ‘She even cheered when you threw your drink over him.’
Molly grinned, feeling a rush of love for them both. ‘It did feel good.’ Then she remembered Ben telling her how he’d wanted to stay connected. ‘But maybe he didn’t totally deserve it.’
‘So you’re getting on with him now? It certainly looks like that to us, sitting on our sofa watching you.’
‘Let’s just say things aren’t so strained. It was hard at first, but we’ve moved on.’
Her mum frowned, and even through the screen Molly could see the worry in her eyes. ‘Do you still have feelings for him?’
Afraid of the answer, Molly hesitated. ‘I still find him attractive. I mean, have you looked at the guy? I would need to be wearing that blindfold permanently not to fancy him, and even then his voice would do things to my insides.’ Remember the frigging huge stumbling block. ‘But the saying “once bitten, twice shy” exists for a reason, so don’t worry. I won’t fall for him again.’
‘And Duncan?’ Her mum pressed, her worry still visible.
‘He was the reason I came on the show,’ she answered carefully, ‘but he’s with Jasmine now, so I guess we’ll have to see how things go.’
‘Well, they tell me the next time we see you will be at your wedding.’ Her mum gave her a bemused look.
‘I know, it’s crazy right?’ An involuntary shudder ran through her. Trying on dresses, choosing settings and themes … what a miserable prospect when she knew there was no chance of exchanging vows. Not if she stayed with Ben.
‘We know you were hoping to marry Duncan,’ her mum added softly. ‘Do you still think that could happen now?’
It was a question Molly didn’t have an answer to. Possibly? Yet even if they did get paired in the second half of the show, would they be able to reclaim the relationship they’d once had? Was Jasmine the only thing getting in their way, or was there another reason Molly didn’t feel quite the same tug in her chest when she looked at him now?
She glanced back at her parents, saw the worry still on their faces, and smiled. ‘Relax, you might be coming to my wedding, but I very much doubt I’ll be saying I do. It will be great to see you both though. I miss you.’
They said their goodbyes and Lauren ended the connection, shouting ‘Come in!’ when there was a knock on the door. ‘Molly’s just finished.’
Molly jumped up from the sofa and turned to find Ben hovering outside the room. Shit, that tug in her chest? It was right there, so strong she had to place a hand over her heart to rub the spot where it ached. Why did he have to look so film-star handsome? She’d forgotten what a suit could do to him, how the charcoal grey could emphasise his dark features, the black open-necked shirt somehow make his hazel eyes even more striking.
He stepped to the side to make way for the camera crew, who were presumably slipping out for a quick pee break, and she couldn’t help but admire how poised he looked, at ease in his own skin in a way few men did.
‘Have you come to talk to your mum and dad?’
He gave a slight shake of his head. ‘Err, no.’
The only time he’d mentioned his parents had been when she’d asked about them, having rambled on about hers. She vividly remembered his answer. Yes I have parents, they live in France. But I don’t want to talk about them. I want to talk about you.
God, he’d made her feel so special.
Until he’d made you feel stupid, worthless and unlovable.
Yet now she had to acknowledge some of that had been her fault, thinking the worst.
‘Our parents declined the chance to be on the show.’ Molly hadn’t realised Rachel was here until she slid past Ben into the room. She smiled breezily at Molly but it looked forced, as if the family chat hadn’t gone very well. ‘We decided to be up front with the viewers about our relationship and have the chat between brother and sister instead.’
‘Rachel decided,’ Ben remarked, his gaze raking over Molly in a way that sent prickles skating across her skin. ‘I was happy not to have the chat at all.’
‘But then you’d miss the chance to have a real heart-to-heart about your feelings. You wouldn’t want that, would you?’ she prompted sweetly.
He raised his eyes to the ceiling, and Rachel laughed. ‘She knows you well.’
It was Molly’s turn to laugh. ‘No way can I claim that. This guy is like a vault, his thoughts and feelings are locked up so tight. It would take a top notch, balaclava-wearing bank robber to crack it open.’
‘Or perhaps just someone with the right key,’ he remarked, his gaze pinning hers with an intensity that was a direct contrast to the mild tone of his voice.
Somewhere deep in her chest, her heart gave an involuntary flutter. Was he trying to tell her something? Or was he just being Ben?
* * *
‘Well, that was an interesting conversation,’ Rachel whispered as the door closed behind Molly.
The same Molly who’d looked unbelievably stunning in a red strapless dress that showed off her pale but really fucking sexy shoulders.
‘Interesting how?’ He asked, playing dumb. Like he hadn’t just admitted he wanted to open up to Molly. To prise apart his heart and let her in.
Rachel shook her head at him. ‘I work with matchmakers, Ben. I help produce a show where we aim to find people their future wife or husband. Add that to the fact I’ve known you all of your thirty years, and I think it’s safe to say I can tell when you’re falling for someone.’
No. He didn’t want her to be right. He definitely didn’t want others thinking the same – the other contestants, the crew, the viewers. Molly. His gut churned. Admitting he liked her, that he wanted to get to know her again, even though she was more interested in getting back with Duncan, was fucking tough enough. He couldn’t bear the thought of her knowing he was trailing around her like a lovesick puppy, desperate to impress, to get her to look in his direction.
And what if Duncan knew it, too? It wasn’t a stretch to picture him laughing with Molly over it when the two of them met in secret, which he tried not to believe was happening but sometimes woke up in a cold sweat thinking about.
‘This is what you like to do, isn’t it?’ To disguise his fear, he went on the attack. ‘Set people up, play with their emotions so your viewing figures go up? You must have been thrilled to find you had a love triangle.’ Anger from a few days ago bubbled to the surface. ‘Why didn’t you tell me Duncan and Molly were exes?’
Rachel huffed out a breath. ‘Okay, I can see why you’re upset, but I do have a job to do. And it’s not like I knew you and Molly were exes when I asked you to come on the show.’
Maybe not, but he still felt used. ‘I’ve changed my mind. If I have to do this stupid chat, I want to talk to Jack or Sam,’ he gritted out, naming his best mates. They’d be a nightmare, poking fun at him, but at least they wouldn’t get him to admit to anything he wasn’t ready for.
Rachel sighed and pointed to the sofa. ‘Stop being ridiculous. This isn’t a grilling, it’s a chat with your sister who, despite what you might think, is looking out for you. And besides,’ she added as she dropped down next to him. ‘it could be a lot worse. What if Mum and Dad had actually agreed to come on and talk to you.’
‘First, that was never going to happen. Second, the conversation would have been blissfully quick. And gratifyingly shallow.’
Rachel’s face twisted. ‘I guess you’re right. It’s not like they ever wanted to know how we were really feeling, did they?’
Some kids had parents who wrapped them in love and showered them with affection. Some had parents who didn’t care what they did, or where they were. They had parents who fell somewhere between the two. Not bad parents, just distant ones, too intent on making each other’s lives miserable to bother about talking to their kids.
‘Am I like them?’ The question shot out of him before he had a chance to stop it.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Molly keeps telling me I don’t communicate, and she’s right. I mean, fuck, look what a mess I made of things with Helena.’
Rachel wrapped her hand around his and gave it a comforting squeeze. ‘How many times do we have to go through this? What happened to her wasn’t on you. Some people are so lost in their own world, they can’t be helped. You did all you could.’
‘Did I?’ The question still haunted him. ‘If she’d fallen in love with someone else, someone better able to talk to her, would she still be alive now?’
‘Stop it.’ Rachel’s hand tightened over his. ‘You made yourself ill, torturing yourself with “what ifs”, when it was all outside your control. Please don’t go back to that dark place again. Professionals couldn’t help her, so why in God’s name do you think you could?’
Because I was supposed to be her rock. The person she could rely on to make things better. The words stuck in his throat and Rachel sighed, leaning into him.
‘Molly’s partly right about you not communicating,’ she said quietly. ‘You’ve never been one to share your thoughts or feelings publicly, but that doesn’t mean you can’t – or don’t – talk in private when it matters. She saw you at your worst, when things were so painful you didn’t want to talk about anything.’
He hung his head, taking a moment to process what she’d said. He’d moved on a lot over the last three years, but there were still times the guilt, the fear that he’d failed Helena, that he could fail someone else, threatened to strangle him.
The door opened behind them and Lauren walked back in with the camera crew. ‘Are you ready for a friendly chat with your sister?’
‘Friendly?’ He thought of how he’d just spilled his guts in front of that very sister. Thank God the damn cameras hadn’t been here a few minutes ago. ‘You mean the one who’s paid to lull contestants into thinking they’re having a friendly chat, so they’ll divulge information they would otherwise have been wise to keep to themselves?’
‘Oh come on, you’re smart enough not to fall into that trap.’
Rachel gave him a knowing smile and he felt a rush of nerves. Judging by the last few minutes, he was a long way from smart.
After checking lighting and sound levels, Rachel smiled at the camera. ‘This is an unusual departure for me. I’m not here in the heart-to-camera room as the assistant producer on The One, but as Ben’s sister. And we’re going to have a chat.’ His heart rattled against his ribs as she turned to him. ‘So then bro, how are you and Molly getting on now? It looks like you’ve both got over the initial shock of being paired with each other and are starting to enjoy yourselves.’
All the other times he’d had a camera thrust in his face on the show, Molly had been by his side. It was worrying to realise how much he wanted her with him now. ‘I’d enjoy it a lot more if we weren’t filmed.’
Rachel rolled her eyes. ‘But then there would be no show, and you’d never have met Molly again. I bet you wouldn’t have liked that.’
‘No.’
She laughed, giving him a playful prod in the ribs. ‘Come on, give your sister a bit more than that. You said before you’re happy you were paired with her. Is that still the case?’
‘Yes.’ If Molly had been sat next to him, she’d have been shaking her head by now. And filling in a lot of the empty silences.
‘I wonder if she’s as happy to be with you, or if she still wishes she was with Duncan. That must be really weird for you, huh, knowing you’re not the man she wanted to be paired with?’
He ground his teeth in annoyance. ‘I thought you were here as my sister?’
‘I am, and that’s exactly what any sister would have asked.’
‘We’ve been here for one week, there’s another three to go. A lot can happen in three weeks.’
But only if you do something. Suddenly he was acutely aware that if he didn’t, he was effectively handing her to Duncan on a plate.
‘Of course a lot can happen, that’s what’s so thrilling about the show. It’s intense, being in this bubble with someone it would otherwise have taken months to get to know to the same degree on the outside.’ She gave him what could only be described as a devil-like smile. ‘I mean, in three weeks you could be married.’
He stared at her, heart thumping. Was she trying to get him to admit his dislike of marriage, on a show where the aim was to force couples to do exactly that? ‘Is there a question there, or can I go now?’
She shook her head at him. ‘I just mentioned marriage because I know Molly has strong feelings about it, and I wondered if you’d got that far in your chats yet.’
With a creeping sense of dread, he remembered the conversation they’d had on the coach the first day, about why they were on the show. Him to help his sister out of a bind. Her to find her soulmate. No, to marry her soulmate. ‘We’ve only barely passed the stage of her hating me,’ he replied tartly. ‘Talk of marriage is hardly relevant.’
He stood up, making it very damn obvious he was done. With a nod, Rachel told the cameras to stop rolling. ‘What the fuck was that?’ He demanded when the crew had left.
She sighed. ‘I didn’t mean it as an ambush. More as … food for thought. Because if you are really thinking of winning Molly back, you need to know her feelings on the subject.’ She gave him a concerned look. ‘And sort out your own.’