Molly clasped her hands together in delight as she looked out of the window. Admittedly it wasn’t exactly turquoise, in fact it was definitely more grey than blue, but still…
‘Look, we can see the sea!’
Ben glanced up from the notebook he was still scribbling in. Before it had annoyed her. Now she remembered this was who he was. Not a man who would chatter to her on the coach, but a man who would use the time to think, to put together plans. ‘We’re heading to Clacton, not the Caribbean.’
‘It’s still the seaside,’ she protested. ‘Waves, beach, ice cream, sand between our toes, seagulls pinching our chips. Oh and a pier, I think there’s a pier. What’s not to look forward to?’
He gave her a mild look. ‘All of the above?’
She huffed out a breath. ‘That’s so negative. I’m sure you were more fun than this last time we dated. I seem to remember you being up for anything.’
His gaze locked with hers. ‘Was I? Or was I just more into the … activities we spent most of our time doing?’
A hot flush crept up her neck and over her face. Oh yes, she vividly remembered how their dates used to go. She’d spend hours agonising over which of her creations to wow him with, he’d come to pick her up. And three hours later they’d be undressed, in her bed, refuelling on pizza after a very energetic workout.
She was gripped by a sudden wave of melancholy.
‘Molly?’ He gave her a concerned look. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing. I just remembered how happy I was then.’ She bit into her lip, trying to keep her emotion in check. ‘I can’t actually recall ever being that happy before, or since.’
His gaze narrowed. ‘Not even with Duncan?’
Embarrassed at what she’d just admitted, she turned to stare out of the window for a few beats before daring to look back at him. ‘It was a false bubble though, wasn’t it? You were enjoying the sex, the distraction. I was falling in love.’
He opened his mouth to say something, but then shut it again and sighed heavily. ‘I told you.’ He drew a hand down his face. ‘My head was too fucked up at the time to make any sense of what I felt.’
But was he any more likely to fall for her this time round? Had choosing her just been an easy option to get him through the next two weeks?
The tannoy on the coach crackled into life, interrupting her dismal thoughts.
‘Well, hello again, seekers of Happy Ever Afters.’ Natalie’s voice boomed over to them. ‘Now we’ve moved into the second half of the show, the focus of our activities is going to change. Before, it was all about getting to know each other. Now it’s all about deciding whether you want to marry the person you’ve been partnered with. Yes, that’s it folks, you’ve got two weeks to decide if he or she is The One. Two weeks to decide if you want to say “I do” at the altar.’ A mixed reaction echoed around the coach. A few gasps, a couple of giggles. Molly glanced at Ben, whose jaw was locked so tight she saw a muscle jump. ‘With that in mind, this afternoon isn’t just a trip to the seaside. It’s a scavenger hunt where you’ll get the chance to see how well you work together. Do you respect each other’s opinion? Listen to each other or railroad over the other person’s view because you think yours is more important?’
Ben shifted next to her. ‘I’ve learnt from the Escape room,’ he muttered.
Molly smirked. ‘We’ll see.’
‘And now I want to remind you of the rules for this half of the show.’ The coach fell silent and everyone, including Molly, stared back at Natalie, whose beaming smile was a strong indication she was enjoying their reaction. ‘To increase the chance of genuine couples getting married at the end of the show, over the next two weeks not only will you still get the chance to ask to swop to another partner, the viewers will also get their say. If they don’t feel you’re heading for marriage, they can vote for you to be swopped to someone else, or even vote you off the show. We’ve set a threshold of votes for that to happen, but even if the threshold isn’t met, depending on the number of votes received, we may decide to mix you up for an activity, if it’s felt you’d have better chemistry with someone else.’
Molly shook her head, smiling. ‘I love this part; it’s so wicked. I mean it’s exciting too, but wicked.’
Ben frowned. ‘You think the thought of us being swopped is exciting?’
‘I was thinking as a viewer.’ She wouldn’t be sitting on her comfy sofa watching the finale to this season, though. She’d be walking down the aisle, to the altar. Millions of people watching her. The potential for humiliation wasn’t just huge. It was overwhelming.
Holy shit, what the hell had she been thinking, deciding to stick with Ben?
‘Molly?’ She turned to find Ben looking worriedly at her. ‘You’ve gone pale. Are you okay?’
‘Yes, fine.’ Just contemplating how I’m going to be able to hold my head up outside the show after being turned down at the altar by the man who’s already dumped me once. She turned to face him. ‘You do realise if we survive as a couple, we’re going to have to plan our wedding at the end of this?’
If her face had gone pale, his was chalky. ‘It’s beginning to sink in, yes.’
‘I actually came on this show in the hope of getting married. To Duncan.’ She let out a strangled laugh. ‘Whereas you came on here just to help out your sister.’ The more she thought about it, the more her stomach began to churn. ‘We’ve come into this from two massively different perspectives. Do you even want to get married someday?’
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. She’d never seen him look more uncomfortable. ‘I haven’t spent much time thinking about it.’
‘Whereas I’ve spent what is probably an unhealthy amount of time thinking about it.’
He didn’t say anything for a full minute. Simply sat there, watching her, so many emotions crossing his face it was impossible to pin any of them down. ‘We do have one vital thing in common,’ he said finally. ‘We both agreed we wanted to spend the next two weeks together.’
‘I guess so.’
He searched her eyes, the brown and greens swirling, as if they were mirroring his troubled thoughts. ‘Can that be enough for now? We’ve got time to work out the rest.’
She drew in a breath, forced her shoulders to relax. She was racing ahead to the end, when there was a whole middle still to look forward to. ‘Yes, fine.’
He gave her a tight smile and shifted his focus back to his book. Silence descended between them, but it felt uncomfortable now. A major flaw had been exposed and it was hard to pretend it wasn’t there. ‘What are you working on?’ He glanced up again, then back to his notes. ‘Is it top secret?’ she prompted. ‘You’re not allowed to tell me or you’ll have to kill me? Or maybe you’ll have to eat the notebook now, because I might sneak a peek at it later when you’re not looking.’
He exhaled loudly. ‘It’s not secret.’
‘Well then, come on, tell me.’
‘I thought you were excited about seeing the sea.’
‘I am, but we’re not there yet, so you need to entertain me.’
He quirked a brow. ‘Is that in the show rules? I have to entertain the woman I’m partnered with?’
‘Totally in the rules. You should have a word with your sister if she didn’t point that out to you. Very poor on her behalf. Now tell me what you’ve been doodling for the last hour.’
He sighed again. ‘I’ve not been doodling.’
Finally, with great reluctance, he handed the book over to her. And her heart thumped when she saw the word upcycling outlined in a box, with arrows leading from it. Vintage Style, Upcycled Chic, ReNew. ‘Is that… Are you…’ Don’t assume anything, that’s what got you in trouble last time. ‘Are you planning a new business?’
Another quirk of that brow and, damn, she wished it didn’t make her insides go all squirmy. ‘What do you think?’
‘I think, maybe, you’re planning my business?’
She’d meant it light-heartedly, but his face fell, his brow crinkling. ‘No, nothing like that. It’s your idea to do what you want with, if you want.’ He nodded over to the notebook. ‘This is just me doing a brain dump of everything you’d need to consider, if you wanted to pursue it. And if you wanted my help.’
She glanced over the pages, read words like register company, vision, business plan, budget. Then turned it over and saw more words, mind maps. ‘Oh my God, Ben. This is … amazing.’ She willed herself not to read too much into it – setting up companies was what he did – but her heart couldn’t help but turn a little bit mushy at all this effort on her behalf. ‘Seriously. I process orders for car parts. I haven’t the first clue about setting up a business, so when I do this, I’ll really need some help.’
The corner of his mouth lifted. ‘When?’
‘Yes.’ Nerves battled with excitement. It felt important saying it out loud. More real than it had in her head. ‘I did a lot of thinking after the fete, and I realised this is one occasion that you’re right. I am good at upcycling clothes.’
‘You are.’ His smile was so encouraging, so fond, it made her heart flutter. ‘And I like to be proved right.’
‘I’ll need to go back to my old job while I set things up, but I’m going to give it a try. Who knows, maybe I can be a business owner too.’
‘I know you can,’ he countered, voice so full of confidence, it made her feel a foot taller. ‘The fete was your success, not mine. You’re more than capable of doing it again, on a larger scale.’ He looked back down at the notebook, then let out a slow breath. ‘I hope whatever happens over the next few weeks, at the very least you and I will leave here as friends. And that you’ll allow me to help you.’ His eyes held hers. ‘I don’t want to lose you again.’
As her heart began to open up for him, like a flower responding to sunlight, everything she’d told herself about being careful felt like foolish nonsense.
* * *
Either Clacton-on-Sea was a hidden gem, a boast even its own tourist information didn’t dare claim, or places felt very different when explored with someone who was … enthusiastic.
‘Come on, next item to tick off is a photo of ourselves with something dodgy.’ A broad smile lit up Molly’s face. ‘I know, we can do that at the pier.’
She grabbed his hand and started to tug him towards what looked to be a fairground on wonky looking stilts. ‘You’re right, that does look dodgy.’
She rolled her eyes. ‘The pier isn’t dodgy, it has dodgems. Get it? Dodgy, dodgems, it has to be close enough. This way we get to cross an item off the list and have fun riding them.’
‘Even better,’ he countered dryly.
Dodgems, piers, scavenger hunts. It wasn’t him. Just like marriage isn’t you. No, he wasn’t going to think about that conversation in the coach. He had weeks … okay, two of them, to shift through his emotions and work out a way to talk to her about it.
Yeah, because he was so good at that. Discomfort rocked through him. He’d thought convincing her to give him another two weeks was the hardest part over, but his troubles were only just starting.
‘It was named pier of the year in 2020.’ Oblivious to his meltdown, Molly chatted away as they made their way along the seafront. ‘If that doesn’t say a pier not to be missed, I don’t know what does. Ooh, look they have hot doughnuts. We have to get some.’
‘This from the woman who wouldn’t share wings with me two weeks ago.’
‘Oh.’ Her smile deflated. ‘I forgot how bad they are for you. Maybe I’ll just look at them. Smell them.’
She had to be kidding him. ‘Why wouldn’t you just eat one?’
‘Err, didn’t you hear the bit about them being bad for you?’
‘I heard it, but it’s not like they’re part of your staple diet. If you want one, have one.’
‘Yeah, it doesn’t work like that. Not when you have a shape like mine.’
Anger simmered. What bullshit had Duncan been giving her? ‘You mean like a real woman?’ He took her hand, tugged her to him, then slid a hand over her bum, feeling himself harden. ‘With curves I spend my nights fantasising about?’ Her hips pushed against him, causing more pressing against his zipper, and he groaned. ‘Unless you want to see me charged with lewd behaviour, you need to stop that.’
‘Then stop fondling my bum.’
With a wicked smile, she stepped back and he looked away from her and out to the sea, willing his body to calm the hell down. ‘Are you having the doughnut or not?’
‘If you’ll have half.’ She threaded her arm through his. ‘Because everyone knows a calorie shared, is a calorie that didn’t really get eaten.’
He wasn’t a fan of anything sweet, or sugary. ‘Fine.’ He nodded to the sign outside the kiosk. ‘They come in threes.’
She shrugged, like it was a no brainer. ‘Two for you, one for me. Sharing a bag is still sharing.’
Now he was eating two doughnuts he didn’t want.
Yet when he watched her lick the sugar off her lips a few minutes later, he found himself utterly converted to the things.
Munching through her second huge bite, she eyed him curiously. ‘Aren’t you eating yours?’
‘Yes.’ His voice came out rough and he had to clear it before he could continue. ‘But first I’ll enjoy watching you eat yours.’
She grinned, and that didn’t just hit his groin, it hit him in the chest.
‘Molly, what on earth are you eating?’
Ben froze as he recognised the male voice. When he looked to his right, he found Jasmine and Duncan staring at them, Duncan with a horrified expression on his face.
Molly paused mid-chew, like she’d been caught stealing sweets from a kid rather than eating a blasted doughnut.
‘Wow, there’s like a billion calories in that,’ Jasmine whispered.
Molly swallowed her mouthful. ‘Half a billion.’ She grabbed the bag from Ben and slid the other half of the doughnut into it. ‘Not that it matters.’
‘Of course it matters,’ Duncan interrupted. ‘Your health is important to me.’
Molly’s expression softened and Ben was hit with a surge of jealousy. ‘Don’t worry, I’ve not forgotten everything you taught me,’ she told Duncan. ‘I’m just relaxing the rules a bit.’
‘Well, don’t relax them too much or you’ll be back to how you were when we first met.’
Molly’s cheeks turned a furious shade of red. ‘What do you mean?’
Ben clasped his hand around hers, squeezing her fingers gently in a show of solidarity. He wanted to butt in and tell Duncan to piss off, but this wasn’t his battle and Molly was holding her own.
Jasmine giggled. ‘I think Duncan’s worried the before and after video might be a bit shit. You know, like before and still before.’
Molly’s hand went rigid in his. ‘What video?’
Duncan looked daggers at Jasmine before raising his eyes briefly to the heavens. ‘No big deal. I was hoping to make a case study of you. Thought you’d like it, be proud of your transformation.’
‘And when were you going to tell me about this plan?’ She inhaled sharply. ‘Wait, that means you already have before photos?’
For the first time, Duncan looked uncomfortable. ‘You remember us doing those exercises together, babe.’
‘But that was for me. So I could see how unfit I was.’
‘Sure, but I figured we could use it in a promo video when you reached your target shape.’
Molly’s eyes widened, and her fingers gripped Ben’s harder. ‘What target shape?’
‘The shape you wanted to be.’ Duncan’s focus shifted to Ben. ‘The shape that would help bring back your self-confidence after he decimated it.’
A mix of both anger and shame roared through Ben and it took every ounce of his self-control not to lunge at Duncan.
‘I thought you were giving me all this advice to improve my health because you loved me,’ Molly said quietly, her voice wavering. ‘Not so you could make some promo video out of me.’
As if he realised he was losing the battle, Duncan stepped forward and reached out his hand. Ben didn’t know what he planned on doing with it, but he’d had enough. ‘You don’t get to put your hands anywhere near her,’ he bit out, grasping Duncan’s wrist.
Duncan snatched his hand back, his face like thunder. ‘After what you did to her, you shouldn’t be putting your hands on her either.’
And fuck, his self-control was slipping fast, but now the anger came with a heavy dose of gut-churning guilt.
‘I was looking after your health because I loved you,’ Duncan told Molly before Ben could gather his wits enough to deliver a stinging reply. ‘I thought the videos would help show your transformation. Make you as proud of yourself as I was of you.’ He shifted his hands to his hips. ‘I’m not the bad guy here, Moll. About time you remembered that.’ Turning to Jasmine, Duncan slipped an arm around her waist. ‘Come on, babe, let’s go somewhere less crowded.’
Silence echoed in their wake. Seagulls squawked above, waves lapped against the shore, chatter surrounded them, but between Ben and Molly there was only an awkward, tense stillness.
‘What guy in love tries to get their girlfriend to exercise, to eat the right food, just so they can make a video to promote themselves?’ Molly whispered finally. ‘Shouldn’t he have wanted me for who I was, not for the person he wanted to change me to?’
‘I want you,’ Ben told her hoarsely, wiping away a stray tear with his thumb. ‘I want you for who you are now, and who you were when I met you. I hate that I ever made you feel I didn’t want you.’ But even as he said the words, guilt squirmed through him. He wanted her, yes, but could he ever see himself marrying her? And would she even want to be with him if she knew how badly he’d failed the last woman he’d been in a relationship with?
Her gaze fell to the floor. ‘I seem to have an unfortunate track record of thinking people love me and then finding they don’t.’
‘You’ve been let down, Molly,’ he told her roughly, his chest tightening viciously as he realised Duncan wasn’t the only culprit. ‘That’s not on you.’
‘Maybe.’ She swallowed and looked down at the greasy bag of doughnuts in her hand. ‘Do you think we can use these for the “something slimy”?’
He smiled, pushing his worries aside for another time. ‘I think they can do slimy and doughy.’
‘It’s meant to be dodgy.’
‘Doughy is two letters closer to dodgy than your dodgems,’ he pointed out, enjoying her answering laughter.
Just when he thought the worse was over, he caught sight of Natalie, Rachel and the camera crew heading towards them.