We found Leo’s car parked outside our house when we got back. Sean gave a little huff of annoyance, which wasn’t like him, but I didn’t think much about it until we got inside. We were both on tenterhooks waiting for Mum to ring and tell us Monty had appeared while she was showing round her clients. I couldn’t imagine what Mum would do if she saw a snake. Though I suppose she might not blame us for it. I mean, why should she? She might open the cupboard and see the snake box, but there was so much other weird junk still left in Blossom House that hopefully the box alone wouldn’t stand out.

‘Hi, Leo. Nice smell,’ I greeted him. Something garlicky was cooking in the oven.

‘Hey, kids. You’re late home, aren’t you? Where have you been?’ Leo asked it lightly, but it was clear he expected an answer from us. That was taking a bit of getting used to. Mum almost never asked us to tell her what we’d been doing after school.

‘We’ve been with Lily,’ I answered truthfully.

‘Yeah,’ Sean grunted. ‘And now I’m going round to Zack’s. I haven’t got time to stop for dinner. I’ll get a burger or something. In fact do you have any money and I’ll get Mum to pay you back?’

Leo actually laughed.

Sean scowled. ‘OK, so I’ll buy a bag of chips. I’ve got enough money for that.’

‘Sean, I’ve already got something in the oven for dinner,’ Leo said, beginning to sound irritated. ‘Your mum’s going to be late so we’ll go ahead and eat without her. Anyway, we need to talk about your behaviour at school today. And what about your homework?’

‘I haven’t got that much.’

‘Really? Well, I’ve heard that you’ve got a geography assignment still outstanding from the end of last term.’

Sean instantly looked sulky. ‘You’ve heard a lot.’

‘Yeah, well … teachers talk. And since Rob Mann happens to be a mate of mine as well as your geography teacher …’

Sean looked even sulkier. ‘Hasn’t Rob ever heard of pupil–teacher confidentiality?’

‘I’m sure he has, but he also knows I have a special interest in you,’ Leo said evenly.

Sean glared at him. ‘If I want to go and see Zack, then I will – I don’t have to listen to you!’ my brother spat out.

If Leo was hurt by Sean’s reaction he didn’t show it. But his voice got a lot firmer as he said, ‘Sean, when your mum’s not here I’m in charge and you do have to listen to me. So you can text Zack to say you’re not coming, then you can eat your dinner, do your homework, watch some TV and by then I reckon it’ll be time for you to go to bed. Though you can always skip the TV and go to bed a bit earlier if you carry on with the attitude.’

Sean narrowed his eyes and even I found myself staring at Leo in disbelief. Was he really threatening to send my brother to bed early if he didn’t behave?

‘Unbelievable!’ Sean spat at him. ‘And I thought you were cool!’ And he stomped off angrily upstairs.

Leo’s sternness seemed to evaporate the second my brother left the room. ‘Crikey, what’s got into him?’ He seemed more bemused than anything.

‘He’ll be all right in a bit,’ I attempted to reassure him. ‘It’s just that Mum doesn’t usually …’ I trailed off, not sure quite how to say it, and knowing that it was only half the problem in any case.

‘She doesn’t lay down the law like that?’ Leo suggested. As I nodded, he sighed. ‘Maybe I did sound a bit like a Victorian parent …’

I shrugged. ‘It’s OK. I wouldn’t sweat about it. Though I do see his point about Mr Mann.’

‘How do you mean?’

‘Well, when we’re at school you want us to treat you like any other teacher, right?’

‘Of course.’

‘But you’re not treating Sean like any other pupil if you’re discussing him like that with Mr Mann.’

And I went upstairs, leaving him looking thoughtful.

In my bedroom I closed the door behind me and went over to stand in front of the mirror. What Lily had said at Blossom House had really got me thinking. Was it true that I needed to be more image conscious? Was I actually starting to look dorky?

Of course my shoes (which I’d left downstairs) were undisputedly high in dork factor, but when I stared critically at the rest of what I was wearing I didn’t think I looked too bad. OK, so my school skirt isn’t as short as some people’s and I suppose I do look a bit shapeless with my shirt so loosely tucked into the waistband of my skirt, but at least it hides the fact that I’m so flat chested. I don’t think my face looks dorky. I mean, I don’t wear glasses with thick lenses or have my hair scraped back off my face or look like some mini professor (the way Jillian does).

But I suppose being a dork isn’t just about looking odd. It’s about how you behave as well. Being a chess champion is definitely dorky. Being uber-swotty at school is pretty dorky. I wasn’t so sure about writing poems all the time as a hobby, but I suppose some people might think that’s dorky. But what about just being friends with those people? Did that count as dorky too?

I was still thinking about it when Leo called upstairs to tell us that dinner was ready. It smelt yummy. Sean, however, didn’t budge from his room.

Not relishing another showdown between the two of them, and with no sign of Mum returning home any time soon, I decided to take charge of the situation. After all, it’s not just Lily who’s capable of telling people things for their own good that they really don’t want to hear.

‘Sean, just because you’re upset about Monty, you shouldn’t take it out on Leo,’ I told him as I stood in his doorway. When he still didn’t move off his bed, I added, ‘Listen, Sean, you were right about one thing …’ I paused to make sure I had his full attention. ‘You were right when you told Leo he’s not our dad!’

Sean gave me a startled sort of look. ‘I didn’t say that!’

‘No, but he knew that’s what you meant when you told him you don’t have to listen to him! And anyway, you were right. He’s not our dad. He doesn’t actually owe us anything. So if you’re mean to him he can leave any time he likes!’

We both knew what would happen if Leo left. Mum would shut the curtains and go to bed for weeks. It would be like when she found out the truth about Married Michael – home would be dark and cold and miserable. So even though it was hard having Leo telling us what to do, surely it was better than going back to how things were before?

I don’t know for sure if it was my little intervention that did the trick, but in any case Sean joined us soon after Leo and I had started to eat.

Sean was flushing a little as he stood awkwardly just inside the kitchen door. ‘Sorry,’ he muttered.

‘Come and eat your dinner before it gets cold,’ Leo told him calmly. As my brother sat he added, ‘Listen, you can’t expect me not to care how you’re doing at school, OK?’

When Sean didn’t say anything I kicked him sharply under the table. If he didn’t want to lose Leo, then he was just going to have to suck it up when Leo went all parental on him.

‘Yes, Leo,’ Sean trotted out in reply, before shooting me a glare as if to say, Happy now?

Leo looked curiously at both of us and I could tell he was wondering what he’d missed, but the only thing he said was, ‘Good boy,’ before launching into a funny story about school.