KENDRA HADN’T HAD SUCH A FUN EVENING IN WEEKS. SHE’D BEEN out of the house many times, but the outings were usually medical related—chemo, blood draws, appointments with Dr. Contee. And she’d gotten out on short photography excursions. But this was out out. A date. With Lance. And after several days spent mostly in bed or on the sofa with stiffness and pain, she felt good. Well, good enough.
They hadn’t gone far, just a mile up the road to the Cheesecake Factory. But just being in the mall was nice. Sitting in a booth in a dimly lit corner was nice. Dressing a notch up was nice. And now that her hair had fallen out completely, she felt stylish in her head scarf, tied with guidance from a YouTube tutorial.
Dr. Contee had given permission for her to eat more than normal, since she’d been losing weight, and tonight Kendra obliged fully. She’d eaten much of the huge serving of shrimp pasta and was now savoring key lime cheesecake.
Lance had his chin in his hand, smiling at her.
Kendra slid her fork slowly from her mouth. “What?”
“I love you.”
Her heart double flipped every time he said it. “I love you more.”
“Way.”
They laughed together.
Kendra forked up another piece. “Is it my imagination, or have you been doing fewer photo shoots?”
Lance sipped his cappuccino. “It’s not your imagination.”
“Why?”
He shrugged. “I’d rather be with you.”
Her fork came down. She didn’t know what to say.
“When you’re lying down,” he said, “dealing with the pain, I don’t want to do anything other than sit with you, talk with you, watch you sleep.”
Hearing that made her heart inch even closer to him. “I caught you praying over me when I woke up one time.”
“I pray over you all the time,” Lance said. “I pray for you as I go about my day. Praying for you is like breathing.”
She let his words soak into her soul. “I’ve never been loved like this.”
“I’ve never loved like this.”
Moments like this brought exhilaration and sadness. “Why can’t I spend a lifetime with you? Why can’t we have years and years to look forward to? It’s not fair, to have something like this, but only for a little while.”
“We wouldn’t have it at all if it weren’t for this circumstance. You’d be in DC, married.” He reached for her hand across the table. “If we were both in perfect health, tomorrow still wouldn’t be promised. Years and years together wouldn’t be guaranteed. We don’t know how long of a ‘lifetime’ God will give you or me. But wow, what if we intentionally make the most of every day we receive?”
“I like that,” Kendra said. “Being intentional about it.” She drank some of her water. “That’s in line with the conversation I had with Grace today.”
Kendra had spoken with Grace and others on the litigation team somewhat regularly, as questions arose about different cases on which she’d worked. But this conversation was different.
“I made the break,” Kendra said. “I told her I wasn’t coming back.”
“That’s huge,” Lance said. “I’m surprised you didn’t mention it earlier.”
“I guess it’s huge.” Kendra shrugged slightly. “But the break had basically been made. Now it’s just official.”
He lifted his cup. “How do you feel? That was your dream, to work there.”
“I feel . . .” Kendra thought on it. “Surprisingly okay. The firm feels so removed from me now, part of another time and place. I’m thankful, though, for all the support they’ve given me.”
“That box of—what did they call it, pink madness?—was awesome.”
Kendra nodded. “That was so cool. Pink shirt, pink hoodie, pink baseball cap, even pink Converse.” She smiled, thinking how they must’ve planned that.
“What about health insurance?” Lance asked. “I’m sure you’re taking care of that.”
“That was my main concern,” Kendra said. “The premium is higher, but I’ll have continuing coverage.”
“So, do you think you’ll look for a position at a firm here in St. Louis at some point?” Lance asked. “You were telling me about women with inflammatory breast cancer who continue to work.”
“Yeah, it depends on treatment and how they’re feeling,” Kendra said. “There’s no way I could’ve continued working at the same pace, if at all, given the pain and fatigue.” She contemplated it more. “When I think about my life now, I really want to focus on enjoying every day God gives me, and photography helps me do that. I would love to keep developing my skills, with your help of course.”
“You’ll surpass me soon,” Lance said, “the way you research every tip and trick online.” He smiled at her. “But I’m glad it’s official you won’t be returning to DC to live. But what about all your stuff?”
Kendra sighed. “I know. I’m paying on a month-to-month lease for no reason. But who knows when I’ll feel well enough to take a trip out there to pack up and move out of the condo as well as my office.”
“What if Trey and I handle it for you?”
“How would you do that?”
“Drive out there with a U-Haul, throw your stuff inside, drive back.”
Kendra laughed. “That simple, huh?”
“Maybe a tad more involved, but not much.” Lance pulled out his phone. “I can text Trey right now. He starts classes in less than two weeks, so we’d need to get on it.”
“I’m so happy for him,” Kendra said. “Back on track with school, planning a short missions trip for Christmas break . . .”
“He’s got me fired up,” Lance said, “looking at my life, wondering how I can live more out of the box.”
“Seriously?” Kendra said. “You’ve been thinking about that?”
“Absolutely. I don’t want to miss God in some way because my mind is thinking too ‘ordinary’—you know?”
“Hmm,” Kendra said, “maybe we all need to start praying about that. I can’t see being intentional and making the most of each day . . . inside a box.”