December
KENDRA FELT BETTER THAN SHE’D FELT IN A LONG TIME. NOT pain-free by any means. But the words cancer-free had been enough to set a new course. Yet it was more than that. Without the diseased breasts and the chemo effects, the pain was lessening. Her energy was returning. Her hair was growing. She could even taste more of her food. She almost felt . . . normal.
But radiation would start tomorrow. And based on what she’d heard, it could knock her back a few steps. Some felt very little in the first few weeks. Others had nausea and sickness. But eventually, it seemed, almost everyone suffered intense radiation burns. She’d have eight weeks of it, five days a week, and at the end she hoped to have a real celebration.
But this morning she’d decided to take advantage of a feel-good day by going to Living Word. Lance had left early this morning, as usual. For months, Kendra hadn’t had the energy. Just the thought of sitting in a pew for any length of time was tiring. And the couple of Sundays she probably could have gone, she’d chosen to rest.
But this morning she had a real desire to go, not necessarily to the main church, but here, to the building in which she’d spent so much time as a teen—to listen to her husband. On the edge of her seat, Kendra marveled that this was her first time hearing him like this. The dynamic in the living room was far different from the dynamic on a stage, in a room full of teens. Here, the man was electric.
Kendra hit her brother’s arm. “Did you know Lance could preach like this?”
Trey gave her a look. “Where’ve you been?”
“At home in bed, usually.”
“Okay, good excuse,” Trey said. “But yeah, this is why Molly, Timmy, and I come to both services every Sunday, even though we’re supposedly too old for this one.”
Molly chimed in. “I told Lance, on Wednesday nights, he’s all laid back”—she slumped in her chair—“but up there, he goes into a different zone.”
“Uh, hello, people.” Timmy spoke from two seats down. “There’s an enlightening message going forth, in which we can all partake, if you’d only have ears to hear and mouths to close.”
Molly narrowed her eyes at him.
Kendra laughed quietly, whispering, “Timmy’s right. My fault.”
“Imagine Joshua running in a pack,” Lance was saying, winding up. “What if he said, ‘No, I don’t want to be different, don’t want to look different, talk different, definitely don’t want to do different . . .’ ”
Lance paced before them. “What if Joshua said, ‘You know, God, I’d really rather not be strong and courageous, because no one else is strong and courageous, so how would that look? I mean, there’s Caleb, but people think he’s wack.’ ”
The teens chuckled, looking at one another.
He stopped, looking at them. “But notice God didn’t ask a whole clique of people to be strong and courageous,” Lance said. “He only needed one—and that strong, courageous one would lead and inspire the rest.”
He jumped down from the stage and walked into the audience. “What I want to know is, which one of you will it be? Who’s willing to be different, to be greatly used by God? Who’s got the courage to say, ‘The rest of y’all can get involved in all that foolishness if you want, but as for me . . .’ ”
Timmy stood, then Trey and Molly. Kendra thought they were playing along, but their expressions said otherwise. They were willing. And true to what Lance had just said, they inspired others to stand.
When the service ended minutes later, Lance was back there in a flash.
“What are you doing here?” he asked her. “I thought I was seeing things.”
“I wanted to see what you do every Sunday.” Kendra eyed him with admiration. “Can I tell you what I saw?”
“What did you see?”
“I saw a man who has said, ‘Yes, God, I’m willing to be strong and courageous for You.’ ”
He stared at her a moment. “So you think you can just come into my workplace and make me emotional in front of these teens.” He wiped a nonexistent tear. “No, ma’am, it’s not gonna happen.”
“It just occurred to me,” Kendra said. “I hadn’t seen this side of you, but they’ve probably never seen the sensitive side of Lance Alexander. Hidden camera footage would probably be golden.”
“They’d never believe it,” Lance said. “My reputation is fixed. All man. Macho. Never a tear.”
Molly was with them, listening. “Kendra, you forgot . . . the wedding video has gone viral. You know, where the groom breaks down at the altar as his bride appears.”
“A man broke down at the altar?” Lance said. “Seriously? Ugh. Ruins it for everyone.”
Timmy cleared his throat. “What it does, in actuality, is inspire the Romeo within to dare to be entranced by, deeply smitten with, a love that comes but once in a lifetime.” He lifted Molly’s hand as if to kiss it.
Molly yanked it back. “You can drink the Kool-Aid by yourself, dude.”
They all laughed. “I keep telling you two,” Trey said, “one day . . .”
Lance took Kendra’s hand as they walked to the main building.
“Hey, you guys,” Kendra said, “tree-trimming party tonight. Don’t forget.”
“B.Y.O.E.?” Timmy asked.
Kendra tried to puzzle it out. “Bring your own . . . ?”
Timmy smiled. “My favorite holiday drink. Eggnog.”
Kendra eyed him. “As long as it’s not spiked with that Romeo Kool-Aid, we’re good.”
“Look what Daddy and I made!”
Brooklyn came running into the living room with Marlon following and a small box of ornaments they’d been working on.
“Great timing.” Kendra hung a silver ball waist high, still unable to reach very far. “We saved the last spots on the tree for the most special ornaments. Ooh, what’s that there?”
Brooklyn had pulled one out. “We traced a cookie-cutter Christmas tree on felt, cut it out, and punched holes in it. Then we glued sparkly beads over the holes.” Her eyes were bright. “We made Christmas trees for the Christmas tree!”
“It’s beautiful!” Kendra said. She looked at her dad. “Since when did you become artsy-craftsy?”
“Brooklyn’s teaching me,” Marlon said, smiling at her. “She’s very creative.”
Kendra looked into the box. “You’ve got all sorts of pretty things in there. Let’s get these beauties on the tree.”
“Daddy, can you help me put this Christmas tree one up high?”
“You ready?” Marlon said.
Brooklyn giggled. “Yes!”
He picked her up and hoisted her high.
“Whoa! I didn’t know you were gonna do that!” Brooklyn placed it carefully on a branch.
Marlon continued helping Brooklyn hang their ornaments. “Did I tell you all I have a closing date on the duplex?” he asked. “Second week in January.”
“Where is the duplex, Mr. Woods?” Timmy asked.
Marlon chuckled. “At the other end of this street.”
Timmy had been working on the lights, but he paused. “Will you be renting apartments? If so, I’m interested.”
“Absolutely,” Marlon said. “We’ll talk.”
When all the ornaments had been hung, Kendra turned to Trey and Timmy. “Are the lights ready?”
“They’re hung, but we didn’t test them yet,” Trey said.
Everyone stood back as Trey turned the lights out in the room, then flipped a switch for the Christmas tree lights. A gasp of awe went around the room.
“This is really beautiful,” Marlon said. “Special.” He looked at Lance. “You picked the perfect tree.”
“With a lot of help,” Lance said. “It was my first time getting a real one.”
“With everything that happened last year,” Trey said, “we didn’t even have a tree for Christmas.”
“And I didn’t come home for Christmas,” Kendra said.
“And I was stoned last Christmas,” Timmy said.
Molly stared at the tree. “What a difference a year makes.”
Kendra hugged Lance’s waist, lingering. Anxiety about tomorrow was creeping in, what radiation would be like, how her body would react. But she forced her mind to stay here. In this moment. And in her heart, she bottled and stored it.