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You are proving to be very troublesome, Coogan.”

I sat back in my white leather swivel chair ($952 from EvilGeniusFurniture.com) and stroked Mr. Meow’s fluffy white fur. Mr. Meow purred softly and stared at the prisoner with his bright-green eyes.

“You have embarrassed me, and that I simply cannot allow.” I pointed to the sharks in the pit. “Take a look at my little pets. They are very fine creatures, no? Their teeth have been specially sharpened by my assistant.”