KELL-ING ME SOFTLY

It turned out that wanting revenge was a lot easier than planning revenge. I was coming up blank on ideas for payback. After almost two hours of sulking by the pool, all I had to show for my efforts was a sunburned neck and a fat white splat of bird poop from a lorikeet on my shoulder. I didn’t even try to wipe off the poop—that’s how miserable I was.

Around three o’clock, Mom came back with Biff and Barb Coogan and a tall, tanned man wearing a khaki shirt, mirrored sunglasses, and shorts that were a little too short.

Short-shorts guy and Mom were laughing about something. My super Spidey senses went into overdrive instantly.

“Hi, Rafe,” Mom sang. She looked happy.

I didn’t like it.

I mean, I want my mom to be happy and everything, but there was something about short-shorts guy that put me on edge.

“Did you have a good time at the beach?” Mom asked.

“Of course he did!” Short-Shorts said before I could reply. “Who wouldn’t have a good time on a ripper of a day like this? Catch any waves, grommet?”

Then he bent down and ruffled my hair. My hair hadn’t been ruffled since I was in kindergarten, and I didn’t like it back then, either.

“Oh, it was great,” I said. “Apart from Bradley trying to drown me, and me ending up naked in the middle of the beach.”

“Oh, dear,” Mom said, suddenly concerned. “That must have been awful, Rafe.”

“That’s right,” Short-Shorts said. “Awfully funny!”

“I don’t see how,” I said in the coldest voice I could manage.

“No need to get your undies in a knot, mate,” Short-Shorts said. “You need to lighten up a bit. Take that frown and put it upside down!”

Suddenly my idea about feeding someone to radioactive sharks sounded really good again.

“This is Kell,” Mom said. “He’s a friend of Biff and Barb’s. Kell’s a geologist who works for a big mining company.”

I shrugged.

“Be nice, Rafe,” she warned, giving me a look. “I’ll let you two get to know each other.” Mom headed back into the house with Biff and Barb.

Kell put out a hand the size of a bulldozer scoop. I could see myself reflected in his sunglasses. “Kell Weathers,” he said. “Pleased to meet you, little man.”

I let the “little man” comment slide and put my hand out reluctantly. “Rafe.”

Kell gripped my hand and shook. I may as well have shoved my hand into a garbage disposal.

As much as I’d like to say that he went back to whatever rock he’d crawled out from under, Kell turned on his heel and walked into the Coogans’ house to join Mom. He was clearly here to stay. But anyway, there’ll be more on Kell later.