Notes

INTRODUCTION

1. U.S. Department of State 1963, “The Personal Call,” 4. According to protocol, everyone rises whenever the ambassador or his wife enters a room, even when many people are present. Chiefs of mission and their wives precede others in entering or leaving rooms, and no one should leave a function before the Ambassador and his wife leave. This means that, out of courtesy to restless subordinates, the chief of mission and his wife usually leave fairly early in order to allow their subordinates to go home.

2. One very important key for me was the entire body of works by Erving Goffman, starting with Presentation of Self in Everyday Life (1959).

3. Major nineteenth-century thinkers who took on the big questions of their age—Karl Marx, Émile Durkheim, Max Weber, and Sigmund Freud—all touched on emotion. In the Economic and Philosophic Manuscripts of 1844 (1844/1986), Marx spoke of the nineteenth-century factory worker’s alienation from the things he made and the work he did to make them. He saw in the worker a lost pride and joy that comes with the idea “I made that.” In The Elementary Forms of Religious Life (1912/1995), Émile Durkheim studied the religious rituals of Australian aborigines in search of conditions inspiring self-transcendent rapture. In The Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism (1930/2001), Max Weber singled out fear and desire for loving approval—feelings the early Protestant believer directed toward a forbidding God—as the motivational source of the Protestant work ethic. To Freud (1960), emotion, and especially anxiety, was fundamental to understanding the self, although for him emotion was hard to distinguish from instinct and underwent many transformations, as detailed in his theory of the ego and superego. To all of these nineteenth-century thinkers, the sociologist of emotion owes a great debt. Indeed, something like a “sociology of emotion” might be said to have existed for a long time without the name. But during the nineteenth and first part of the twentieth centuries, it was a confusing warren of conceptual tunnels and fascinating empirical observations without a sustained focus on emotion as something in and of itself. I first used the term “sociology of emotion” in a 1975 essay entitled “The Sociology of Feeling and Emotion: Selected Possibilities.”

4. Curiously, those lacking power and authority have been most vulnerable to being labeled “emotional” or “overemotional,” and have been considered to have something a bit “wrong” with them as a result. In nineteenth-century America, blacks were characterized as childlike, instinct-driven, expressive, and emotional. In early modern Europe and America, women were linked to witchcraft, to the myth of the “wandering womb,” and later to hysteria and an overall childlike absence of emotional control (Hacker 1993). Emotion had a bad name.

However, we need to focus on emotion. In my interviews, I have often focused on the experience of women, partly because their lives have been less valued and understood, and partly because I believe their lives often give us better access to the emotional codes that men feel obliged to hide or repress, but by which they, too, live. So it is not that women are not emotional, it is that men are too. If either one appears “unemotional” in stressful situations, it is likely they are managing their emotions—doing “emotion work,” as I called it in The Managed Heart (1983). It is not because they are not feeling emotions.

5. See Mueller and Thomas 2001; Spector et al. 2001; and Cherry 2006, among others.

6. For a comparison between students in the United States, Croatia, Slovenia, Canada, Ireland, Belgium, Germany, Singapore, and China, see Mueller and Thomas (2001). For a comparison of Mexican and American male business students, see Mahler (1974). See Spector et al. (2001) for cross-cultural comparisons of the belief in one’s control over the environment as control via interpersonal relationships. When researchers expanded their concept of control to include control “via interpersonal relationships,” the Americans showed a lower sense of control than respondents from Hong Kong and the Peoples Republic of China.

7. Borges 1998, 6.

8. Elias 1978.

9. Elias 1978, 157–58. The exposure of flesh—in modern beachwear and sports—presupposes more sexual control than was, during the more modest eighteenth century, presupposed.

10. Kundera 1992.

11. Hochschild 1983.

12. Personal communication, Haruo Sakiyama, College of Social Sciences, Ritsumeikan University, Kyoto, Japan, 2008.

13. Grandey, Diefendorff, and Rupp 2013.

14. Ehrenreich and Hochschild 2003.

15. Mills 1963,1967.

16. Roosevelt quoted in Kelly 2001, 7.

17. In 2009, forty-four out of the one hundred largest economic entities worldwide were corporations (Keys and Malnight 2012).

18. Kuttner 1997.

19. The self that is best suited to the market is focused on the individual’s own separate, highly differentiated wants and tastes—or what economists call “revealed preferences.” As one person put it, consumers have wants, but citizens have values—including commitments to the public good. The market self bargains for himself, not for others. Often, he comes to conceive of himself as a free agent, uninfluenced by his surrounding context—social class, race, nationality, geographic locale, society. To him, his society is itself never more than the sum of its separate parts. A town meeting, a congregation, a nation, or any emergent community is, to the market self, but an aggregation of individuals, each with separate wants. The market self is oriented to commercial time (when payments are due), not to generational or religious or national or historical time (when commemorations are marked or commitments reaffirmed).

To someone who extends market culture to every realm of life, everything from marriage vows to the Ten Commandments makes sense only as a barter of individual interests. The metaphors the market self brings to bear on such relationships—“profitable investment in the relationship,” “brands,” “He divested himself of his wife,” “He’s rebranded himself”—support a norm of emotional detachment. People may be obliged to do emotion work to detach themselves enough to live up to the norm.

20. “SocialJane.com” offers to help clients find a friend, just as dating services help one find a romantic partner. For a person new in town, it is easy to see the appeal. Walking along the street, sitting in a park or cafe, it is often hard to make eye contact with strangers—a first social gesture—because many are talking on their cell phones or reading e-mail on their iPads. As the SocialJane.com Web site’s blog explains, finding friends online can be “Convenient, Efficient, with a High ROI”:

In financial terms, ROI stands for return on investment, and is a measurement of the investment or risk that you make, and the result or return derived from that investment. So let’s say you bought a painting at a yard sale for $10, and then sold it on eBay for $20. Your ROI would be 100% return in this case—you doubled the value of that initial investment.

In terms of a friendship, the ROI is not as easily calculated since the amount of investment or effort you put into finding and forming a new friendship varies greatly, and is completely depends [sic] on circumstances. For example, one day you are out getting the mail and a new neighbor happens by. The two of you start chatting, then laughing, and the next thing you know you are planning dinner out and a new friendship has begun. The investment here was pretty small, relatively speaking—after all, you were just checking the mail.

The ad appeals to what a client gets, not what she could give—an act we usually associate with friendship. Ironically, SocialJane.com’s sales pitch impoverishes the very thing it offers to help one find: friendship. SocialJane.com even suggests that a client who has goods or a service she wishes to sell can use her membership to market them.

21. “What Is the Cost?” GirlFriendCircles.com, 2012, www.GirlFriendCircles.com/staticWhatIsCost.aspx.

22. SocialJane.com and GirlFriendCircles.com are the “mom and pop” stores of the Internet. As industrial jobs disappear from the American workplace, more such services are likely to appear. And through them, a market way of speaking and thinking is inadvertently applied to personal life. In truth, we do not need to buy anything at all in order to talk, think, and feel in a buy-and-sell sort of way. Market culture has “escaped the iron cage” of the market, to paraphrase Weber, and now stalks about our civic and personal lives. We are left to draw lines between a world governed by an ethic of emotional detachment and that governed by an ethic of attachment.

CHAPTER ONE

This essay is based on a paper given at a meeting of the International Society for Research on Emotion, July 29, 2011, in Kyoto, Japan, and takes off from one interview reported in chapter 1 of Hochschild 2012.

1. See Hochschild 2012, chapter 1.

2. One can become a member of Match.com for free. However, to communicate with other members and participate in its core services, a paid subscription is required. In 2009, Match.com was charging its 1,438,000 subscribers $34.99 for one month or $17.99 a month for a six-month contract. As of July 2012, the rates were $35.99 and $19.99, respectively.

3. Habermas 1985. Like Herbert Marcuse (1955), Habermas speaks of a wider social complex of which the market is one part.

4. See chapter 7 of this book.

5. Cacioppo and Patrick 2009.

6. Cacioppo and Patrick 2009; Cacioppo 2011.

7. In a three-volume work, Attachment and Loss (1969–80), the psychologist John Bowlby describes various patterns of attachment between small children and their caregivers. Mary Ainsworth (1978) set up a laboratory experiment (the Strange Situation Protocol) through which to observe and analyze different styles of attachment in children. Later, Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver (1987) and Kim Bartholomew and Leonard Horowitz (1991) adapted Bowlby’s and Ainsworth’s theory of attachment to adult love attachments. People develop a fairly steady working model of attachment, they argued, that is derived from childhood experience. Bartholomew and Horowitz identified four adult attachment styles. Securely attached adults are comfortable depending on others and having others depend on them and balance intimacy with independence. Others are insecurely attached, including the “anxious-preoccupied,” who seek great responsiveness from partners and become highly anxious without it. Those who are “dismissive-avoidant” avoid dependence on others and having others depend on them, and they avoid rejection by avoiding rejecters. The “fearful-avoidant” have difficulty trusting the intentions of others, and tend to deny and suppress their need for attachment.

8. These strategies can be conscious, semi-conscious, or forms of unconscious mechanisms of defense. In The Outsourced Self (2012), I detail some of these—compensation, take-backs, back-channeling, empathic reach, and flight.

CHAPTER TWO

This essay is based on a talk given at a panel entitled “The Future of Emotional Labor,” held on April 17, 2009, at Pace University, New York, published in 2010 as “Invited Commentary: Can Emotional Labour Be Fun?” International Journal of Work Organization and Emotion 3, no. 2:112–19.

1. See Hochschild 1983 (rev. ed. 2012).

2. To feel emotion while on the job is not the same as doing emotional labor. A truck driver may, for example, feel anxious about the slick roads and rising price of gas. He may be friendly toward fellow drivers and hear out his boss’s bad family news. But this is not central to the truck driver’s job, which is to drive a truck. Plumbers, telephone repair people, and other service workers relate to customers and coworkers, of course, and they need minimal relational skills to do so. But usually relating to others is not the centerpiece of their job description. As Max Scheler (1912/1961) has also pointed out, we can attune ourselves to the needs of another without empathizing with him or her.

3. Hochschild 2012,189.

4. Here I add to an insightful, lively, corrective literature on these questions. See Lopez 2006; Paules 1991; Tolich 1993; Bolton and Boyd 2003; Taylor, Mallinson, and Bloch 2008; Baugher 2012.

5. Solari 2006a.

6. The older and highly educated caregivers of the elderly in Rome, interviewed by Cinzia Solari, were displaced babushki who were no longer needed to care for the children of their stay-at-home daughters back in Ukraine. Most saw themselves as wage earners for—and enjoyed the gratitude of—their families back home (Solari 2006a, 2011).

7. Baugher 2012. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (1996,1997), a University of Chicago psychologist, explored the concept of “flow”: the experience of total engrossment, of release from a consciousness of time, and of feeling at one with the activity in which one is engaged. See also Stets 2010.

8. Winnicott 1965.

9. In The Managed Heart (1983), I distinguish between “emotion work”—the purposeful evocation or suppression of feeling we do in everyday life—and “emotional labor”—the same kind of emotion management we do for pay as part of a job.

10. Hiestand 2001. Also see Harrington 2010; Harrington, Carrillo, and Blank 2009.

11. Dizon 2000. To save on cost, many American insurance companies are also removing patients from hospital acute care wards and placing them in nursing homes with surgical wounds and intravenous lines still in their arms (Hiestand 2001). Also see Harrington 2010; Pear 2008.

12. Hiestand 2001.

13. Foner and Dreby 2011, 551.

14. Parreñas 2005.

15. Tragically, World Bank economists find that the remittances sent by workers in the global North back to families in the global South do not result in more developed economies back home (Ratha and Xu 2008). See chapter 10 of this book, and Hochschild 2012.

16. In general, while many aspects of global migration are beneficial, the migration of parents away from children has uncounted high costs and points to the need for other means of equalizing the wealth of the world.

17. Even when her clients are very visible, a caregiver may find herself taking the invisible and devalued part of her client’s work off his shoulders. For example, as one California-based personal assistant said, “A lot of my clients have been thirty-something dot-com executives and they talk very fast. Rata-tat-rata-tat-rata-tat. ’Call Jim at the office . . . tell him we need the order by eight a.m. tomorrow . . . .’ [She snaps her fingers—snap, snap, snap.] So I call Jim’s office. I’m friendly with his receptionist. I talk to Jim himself, answer questions, and make sure he’s got the message straight and is in a good mood about it. I respond to any hesitancy or resentment I sense in his voice. I’m patient. My clients outsource patience to me” (Hochschild 2012,169).

18. Interview with childcare worker, conducted as part of my research for The Outsourced Self (Hochschild 2012).

CHAPTER THREE

1. In The Empathic Civilization: The Race to Global Consciousness in a World in Crisis, Jeremy Rifkin (2009) argues that through the broad swath of human history we have increased—indeed, have begun to globalize—our empathy for other people. Some evidence for this comes from the Harvard psychologist Steven Pinker (2011), who argues in his book The Better Angels of Our Nature that over the centuries violence has decreased, including tribal warfare, homicide, cruel punishments, child abuse, animal cruelty, domestic violence, lynching, pogroms, and international and civil wars. Pinker attributes this to a growing exercise of self-control, reason, and empathy. Still, in 2011, we should note there were no fewer than thirty-seven armed conflicts in the world; in each one, twenty-five or more people died as a cause of battle during the year (Themnér and Wallensteen 2012). In 2011, thousands died, but eons ago, the proportion of people killed in the armed conflicts of tribal societies was ten times greater, Pinker argues. War-related deaths as a proportion of modern populations are about a tenth as high as they once were when the world’s people lived in tribes. For the definition of armed conflict, see Uppsala Conflict Data Program 2012. Also see Azar Gat 2012.

2. As Adam Smith (1776/1875) observed in The Wealth of Nations, “Little else is requisite to carry a state to the highest degree of opulence from the lowest barbarism, but peace, easy taxes, and a tolerable administration of justice” (13). Smith famously argued that self-interest was a glue strong enough to bind buyer to seller, but some small measure of trust and empathy is surely also required.

3. See chapter 2, “From Consumer Boom to Ecological Bust,” in Juliet Schor’s Plenitude: the New Economics of True Wealth (2010).

4. In addition, the expansion of the market has greatly widened the gap between rich and poor in the world, creating envy and hardship. Adam Smith (1776/1875) also speculated that “an industrious and upon that account a wealthy nation, is of all nations the most likely to be attacked” (551).

5. Kessler and McLeod 1984; Weissman and Klerman 1977; Nolen-Hoeksema 1987; Piccinelli and Wilkinson 2000.

6. Kessler and McLeod 1984, 621.

7. Kessler and McLeod 1984, 620; Gove 1972; Barnett, Biener, and Baruch 1987. Married women also reported higher rates of depression than single or divorced women, and the question was, again, why? Do married women cope less well with life than unmarried ones? Others have speculated that women have been dealt a more depressing role in marriage than men have been, or even that depression-prone women are more drawn to marriage.

8. Kessler and McLeod 1984, 628.

9. Kessler and McLeod 1984, 629.

10. Kessler and McLeod 1984, 629; Fischer 1982; Gove, Hughes, and Galle 1983.

11. In her forthcoming book on rich and poor families living in Silicon Valley, Marianne Cooper (2013) compares the way rich and poor define and handle economic insecurities. In the working class, women in poor families become the family’s “designated worriers”—the ones who wake at night with nightmares about paying the bills—while, in the upper class, it is mainly men who take on this kind of worry.

12. The National Altruism Study, based on data collected from 1,366 people in the 2002 General Social Survey, is one of the few nationally representative studies we have of empathy (Smith 2003). The report found empathy, altruistic values, and helping behaviors all fairly common among Americans. According to the study, three-quarters of Americans said they were “often touched by things that happen” and are “pretty soft-hearted” (3). Forty-three percent “feel selfless caring for others on most days or more often,” and 33 percent feel it “once in a while or less often” (3). The study distinguished between altruistic values (agreeing, for example, that it is personally important to assist those in trouble) and altruistic behavior (giving directions, letting someone cut in line, talking to a depressed person, loaning items). Women tended to hold more altruistic values but did not perform more altruistic acts than men (12). Also see Bernard 1981.

13. Eagly 2009, quoting Burleson and Kunkel (2006), 647.

14. Eagly 2009, 648.

15. Eagly 2009, 648.

16. Eagly 2009, 649. Also see Taylor 2003; Leyens et al. 2007.

17. Eagly 2009, 649.

18. Eagly 2009, 646–47.

19. Eagly 2009, 647.

20. See, for example, the work of Claude Fischer (1982,2011) and Barry Well-man (Wellman and Berkowitz 1988; Wellman and Wortley 1990) on networks of friendship.

21. Stack 1974.

22. Do sadists empathize with their victims in the sense of trying to understand what would hurt most so as to better inflict pain? They can exercise something like empathy, but I would have to believe such a thought process is more mechanical and somehow bypasses the feeling of standing in a victim’s shoes.

23. Tronto (1993) defines “care” broadly as a “species activity that includes everything that we do to maintain, continue and repair our ‘world’ so that we can live in it as well as possible” (103). Also see Halpern and Weinstein 2004.

24. The omnipresence of cell phones has led to a culture of interruption, which may thin and loosen empathic bonds. I interviewed a San Francisco-based psychotherapist whose specialties included helping clients to limit the use of iPhones, BlackBerries, and computers during in-person communications with loved ones. As he recounted, “This is a real problem with about 10 percent of my clients, but a bit of a problem with nearly all of them.” A number of his iPhone-glued clients complained that their own listeners seemed to be tuning an ear for their next call, and so serving a thinner slice of empathy.

25. Thanks to Neil Smelser in helping me articulate the meaning of empathy. In The Social Edges of Psychoanalysis (2002), Neil Smelser argues that structural and social psychological forces are mutually embedded and that patterns of empathy may be an instance of this.

26. Empathy is also related to, but not the same as, sympathy. Sympathy is a sentiment of feeling sad on behalf of another person but without necessarily fully empathizing with all of their experience. If I sympathize, I feel sorry for a person even if I cannot imagine being in the same predicament myself. As a term, compassion blends empathy with sympathy: “I can imagine myself in those shoes” and “I’m sorry that person is in them.” Altruism refers to a disposition to act generously and not to what specifically motivates those acts. Selflessness, in turn, is altruism extended to the act of casting aside one’s own needs.

27. Thanks to Gertraud Koch for the connection between moral ideas and feeling rules.

28. In the early 2000s, with the help of Allison Pugh, I also conducted a set of exploratory interviews with some fifty individuals on informal cultures of care, and I am drawing on those. In the interviews, we asked who individuals turned to in their hour of need, and who turned to them. This particular example draws on an interview I conducted for The Outsourced Self (2012).

29. Twain 1885/1992.

30. Twain 1885/1992, 330.

31. Twain 1885/1992, 234, 237.

32. Twain 1885/1992, 330.

33. Lomax 1995.

34. Lomax 1995,132.

35. Lomax 1995,143.

36. Lomax 1995, 255.

37. Lomax 1995, 266, 268, 274.

38. Lomax 1995, 275.

39. Thomas 2005. The camp was started by the U.S.-based Kabbalah Center and the Palestinian Abu Assukar Center for Peace and Dialogue.

40. Roots of Empathy, “About Roots of Empathy,” www.rootsofempathy.org/en/who-we-are/about-roots-of-empathy.html, accessed January 15, 2012. Roots of Empathy gave rise in 2000 to another school-based program called Seeds of Empathy, focused on 3- to 5-year-olds.

41. Warner 2010.

42. Warner 2010; Piff et al. 2010.

43. When those who make more than $200,000 a year account for more than 40 percent of taxpayers in a given zip code, the wealthy residents give away 2.8 percent of their discretionary income to charity. This compares with an average 4.2 percent for all those earning $200,000 or more (Gipple and Gose 2012).

44. Finding from a 2007 report from Indiana University’s Center on Philanthropy, as cited in Warner 2010.

45. Warner 2010; Piff et al. 2010.

46. Konrath, O’Brien, and Hsing 2011. This study was based on a meta-analysis of seventy-two studies of American college students. In a parallel study, another team of researchers found that 44 percent of students in college between 1966 and 1978 (“Boomers”) gave priority to “being very well off financially,” while 71 percent of those in college between 1979 and 1999 (Gen Xers), and 74 percent of those in college between 2000 and 2009 (Millennials) reported the same (Twenge, Campbell, and Freeman 2012, 1049). This growing preoccupation may reflect a growing fear of economic hardship, a turning inward, and a vulnerability to an “empathy squeeze.” See “The Chauffeur’s Dilemma” (Hochschild 2005).

47. Konrath, O’Brien, and Hsing 2011,183.

CHAPTER FOUR

This essay is based on a talk entitled “Five Conversations to Re-Balance Work-Family Balance” that I gave at an international conference sponsored by the Center for Research and Studies in Sociology and Instituto Superior de Ciencias do Trabalho e da Emresa (ISCTE), Lisbon, Portugal, April 12, 2007.

1. To many political conservatives, the term “family” refers to one chosen kind of family: the middle-class, heterosexual, two-parent family. “Family values” refers to both an embrace of that kind of family and an exclusion of gay and lesbian families, cohabiting couples, and women who have exercised their right to abortion or affirmed the right of others to do so. I use the term “family” here and throughout this book to refer to people—heterosexual, lesbian, and gay—who commit themselves to the feeling rules of family—to love, to help, and to nurture—and who, in the words of a Boston judge, “hold themselves out” to the community as family.

2. Elder and Schmidt 2004.

3. OECD 2011.

4. In some countries, women’s move into paid work proceeded slowly—as in Italy, from 28 percent in 1960 to 46 percent in 2010. In Norway, it took a flying leap from 26 percent in 1960 to 73 percent in 2000 (OECD 2011). The data refer to the population of women aged 15 to 64 who are employed. Source for rates in the 1960s: Pissarides et al. 2003, drawing on OECD data.

5. Schwab’s text (from Schwab and Zahidi 2010) is excerpted from Haus-mann, Tyson, and Zahidi 2012, v. In the preface to the 2010 report (Hausmann, Tyson, and Zahidi 2010), Schwab also writes:

We are at a unique turning point in history. Never before has there been such momentum around the issue of gender parity on the global stage. Numerous multinational companies have aligned core elements of their businesses and products to support and provide opportunities for women in the communities in which they are active. The United Nations has created a new entity for gender equality and the empowerment of women. There is a strong movement around greater investment in girls’ education in the developing world. Businesses around the world are starting to take into account the increasing power of women consumers. As women begin to make up more than half of all university graduates in much of the developed world, there is an increased consciousness that this talent must be given the opportunity to lead. Several countries have introduced legislation that mandates minimum requirements for women’s participation, in both business and politics.

6. Hausmann, Tyson, and Zahidi 2010, see figures 7 and 8 (28–29). Interestingly, the gender gap does not measure absolute levels of economic, educational, medical, or political attainment but rather the relative gap between women and men along these dimensions.

7. Hausmann, Tyson, and Zahidi 2010, 29.

8. Hausmann, Tyson, and Zahidi 2010, 31.

9. According to Ursula von der Leyen, the family minister for Germany’s chancellor Angela Merkel and a mother of seven, given its current births-to-deaths ratio, the German population stands to shrink by 100,000 each year. If Germans do not produce more babies, she grimly concludes, “We will have to turn out the light” (Shorto 2008).

10. Clark 2011; Minder 2011; Saltmarsh 2010; Social Security Administration 2009. The worry about “too many old people” has led a number of European governments—Italy, Spain, and France—to try to raise their birthrates by setting incentives for women to have more children. Those pressing for a higher birthrate sometimes run counter, rhetorically, to those pressing narrowly for “female empowerment” and economic development. Florence Jaumotte (2005), an OECD economist, noted in one study that “any increase in paid parental leave beyond 20 weeks has a negative effect on women’s labour force participation.”

11. Fertility rates, which represent 2012 estimates of the children born per woman in each country, are from the Central Intelligence Agency’s World Fact-book (2012).

12. Comparison of the difference in nonwork time between full-time-working mothers and fathers with young children, as found in Hochschild and Machung (1989), and Milkie, Raley, and Bianchi (2009).

13. Fey 2011.

14. Glass 2013.

15. Why the rise in “free market” talk? Perhaps, as Robert Kuttner (1997) has argued, globalization—and the ability of rich countries to seek cheap labor and new consumers—has raised the power of large corporations and reduced the power of governments and labor unions to act as counterweights. In “As Corporate Profits Rise, Workers’ Income Declines” (2011), Floyd Norris reported that corporate profits have reached the highest level in American history while at the same time workers’ real wages have stagnated. Meanwhile, as a share of federal tax revenue, corporate taxes have dropped from a high of 30 percent in the mid-1950s to less than 10 percent in 2008. Not only have corporate tax rates declined, so have taxes on individual millionaires—which were 66 percent in 1945 and 32 percent in 2010 (see Gilson and Perot 2011).

16. See Good Jobs First’s “Corporate Subsidy Watch” profiles at www.goodjobsfirst.org/corporate-subsidy-watch. According to B. John Bisio, the Community Affairs Manager of Wal-Mart Stores in Bentonville, Arkansas, a third of Wal-Mart’s 3,500 or so U.S. retail stories have requested public assistance from state and local governments (Mattera and Purinton 2004,14n5). In their study of Wal-Mart distribution centers, Good Jobs First documented public subsidies to 84 out of 91 centers, averaging $7 million each (“Corporate Subsidy Watch”). What government has done for Wal-Mart it has also done for dozens of others—biotechnology companies, private prisons, foreign auto plants, semiconductor plants, and agribusiness—through a wide variety of means. Such payments are usually described as “incentives” rather than as “tax-payer subsidies to companies” or “companies on the public dole.”

17. UNICEF 2007. The report covered—in order of overall ranking in child well-being—the Netherlands, Sweden, Denmark, Finland, Spain, Switzerland, Norway, Italy, Ireland, Belgium, Germany, Canada, Greece, Poland, Czech Republic, France, Portugal, Austria, Hungary, the United States, and the United Kingdom. The OECD countries excluded for insufficient data were Australia, Iceland, Japan, Luxemburg, Mexico, New Zealand, the Slovak Republic, South Korea, and Turkey. Sometimes the report also offered information on non-OECD nations such as Israel, Slovenia, Estonia, Malta, Croatia, Lithuania, Latvia, and the Russian Federation. The report could not get sufficient information to report on children’s exposure to violence or mental health, and it excluded data on very young children. A more recent report (UNICEF 2010) finds that among rich countries the United States has one of the largest gaps between the well-being of rich and poor children.

18. All capitalist economies—including Sweden, Norway, and Denmark—operate on the principle of a free market, of course. But, as the political scientist Gosta Esping-Andersen (1990) has noted, capitalist economies greatly differ among themselves: the Nordic countries have built a “social democratic” welfare regime, the central Europeans—Germany, Austria, and Italy—a “conservative” one, and the United States, the United Kingdom, and Australia a liberal one.

19. UNICEF 2007.

20. UNICEF 2007.

21. UNICEF 2010.

22. UNICEF 2007, 2. Labor force participation rates are drawn from 2010 rates and 2012 estimates as reported in International Labour Office (2011). The rates refer to the population aged 15 years and older in each country. The UNICEF report did not compare the children of working and nonworking mothers within each country. What we observe here are findings that strongly suggest that children do well in family-friendly working-mom states.

23. Others focus on the high number of single-parent homes in the United States as compared with the countries of Europe. Yes, compared with the United States, Sweden has a similar proportion of single-parent homes, but they—importantly—receive government subsidies and so are much less likely to face the financial hardships that befall most single mothers in the United States.

24. He assumed that such children would not be going to good schools, studying in nice libraries, or otherwise enjoying public help.

25. The percentage made up by immigrants in each country’s population ranges from 10.7 percent (France), to 13.1 percent (Germany), to 13.5 percent (United States) (United Nations, Department of Economic and Social Affairs 2009). Minority populations are harder to compare across nations. The CIA World Factbook does not distinguish between Hispanic and non-Hispanic, for example. Immigrants and non-white minorities in France overlap but are not the same, and France banned the census that distinguishes between people of different ethnic origins.

26. Wilkinson and Pickett 2009. Some scholars have criticized the authors for confusing class and status. Their empirical evidence concerns income gaps, but, critics suggest, their reasoning concerns gaps of status. See Goldthorpe 2010; Fischer 2010.

27. Wilkinson and Pickett 2009. In the most unequal societies such as Singapore, the United States, Portugal, and the United Kingdom, the richest 20 percent are eight to ten times as rich as the poorest 20 percent. In the most equal societies—Japan and the Scandinavian states—the richest 20 percent are about four times as rich as the poorest.

28. Wilkinson and Pickett 2009,186.

29. Wilkinson and Pickett 2009,179.

30. Wilkinson and Pickett 2009,107, 123, 136, 149.

31. Fischer 2010, 30.

32. Snowdon 2010. See also World Health Organization 2012.

33. Murray 2012.

34. Murray 2012,159.

35. Murray 2012, 268.

36. Murray 2012, 248.

37. Murray 2012, 282.

38. Walkerdine and Jimenez 2012.

39. The growing income gap has other causes beyond free-market policies. These include the OPEC oil crisis of the 1970s, the continuing automation of the workplace, globalization, and the weakening of labor unions, among other things.

40. I am grateful to Deirdre English for a helpful conversation on this.

41. Schor 2004. A survey of youth in seventy cities in more than fifteen countries found, Schor notes, that American children are more “bonded to brands,” as they say in advertising, than are children elsewhere in the world. More American children believe, for instance, their clothes and brands describe who they are.

42. Schor 2004,19.

43. Schor 2004.

44. Children are also sought as an indirect route to their parents and their pocketbooks, a so-called influence market. “That persuasive power is why Nickelodeon, the number one television channel for kids, has had Ford Motor Company, Target, Embassy Suites and the Bahamas Ministry of Tourism as its advertisers” (Schor 2004, 25).

45. Schor and Ford 2007.

46. Borzekowski and Robinson 2001; Zimmerman and Bell 2010; Linn forthcoming.

47. Ogden and Dietz 2010. In 2010,17 percent of children were diagnosed as obese and at risk for diabetes and heart disease.

48. Schor and Ford 2007,12.

49. Schor and Ford 2007,18.

50. Hood 2011; Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood 2012.

51. Molnar, Boninger, and Fogarty 2011; Lewin 2011.

52. Molnar, Boninger, and Fogarty 2011.

53. Cohen 2011.

54. Consumers International 1996. In general, nations in which neo-liberal policies prevail (the United States, United Kingdom, and Australia) averaged 11 minutes of advertising per hour; the more social-welfare capitalist states (Netherlands, Belgium, Germany, Austria, Denmark, Sweden, Finland, France, and Norway) averaged 3.3 minutes of ads. Also see Kasser 2002, 2011.

55. Hawkes, Lobstein, and the Consortium for the Polmark 2011.

56. Hawkes, Lobstein, and the Consortium for the Polmark 2011.

57. Hawkes, Lobstein, and the Consortium for the Polmark 2011. In the 1970s the U.S. Federal Trade Commission tried to end television commercials for sugared products aimed at young children, but this effort failed. Commercials for candy and other products aimed at very young children have expanded exponentially since then. Behind this, Schor suggests, is the political power of the so-called child industry (2004, 29).

58. Kasser 2011.

59. On the question of who uses such services, see More and Stevens 2000; Ostergren, Solop, and Hagen 2005; Dougherty 2011; Dearen 2011. The for-profit library company, Library Systems and Services, is now the fifth largest library system in the United States. It has replaced the pensions that long characterized positions in the public library system with retirement funds (Streitfeld 2010).

60. Coalition for Evidence-Based Policy 2012b.

61. Bornstein 2012.

62. Coalition for Evidence-Based Policy 2012c.

63. Coalition for Evidence-Based Policy 2012a.

64. Child Trends 2007.

65. Decision Information Resources, Inc. 2007.

66. In a study of national attitudes, Leslie McCall (2005) found that Americans had become decreasingly tolerant of inequality except after the late 1990s economic boom when they became more tolerant of it. See also Kenworthy and McCall 2008.

67. Faced with the dark side of the market, Americans often do not feel entitled to indignation. If we are let down by a family member, we feel upset or angry. If a government official steals money, we can “kick the bums out.” But in the realm of the market, on what grounds can we appeal? If jobs disappear, an American company can politely remind us that its promises are to its stockholders, not to workers or citizens. Free-market policies uphold stockholder values, not necessarily worker or family values.

68. Kantor 2011.

69. In 1958, when the National Election Study of the Pew Research Center first asked Americans about their trust in the government “to do what is right,” 73 percent answered either “just about always” or “most of the time.” In 2010, only 22 percent answered this way (Pew Research Center for the People and the Press 2010).

CHAPTER FIVE

1. Christensen and Porter 2004; Family360/LeaderWorks 2012, www.family360.net.

2. Tough 2002. See also Hochschild 2012, chapter 8.

3. Tough 2002, 80.

4. Family360 is part of a larger two-way cultural exchange. The language, ideas, and sense of time of the workplace have traveled home, even as the idea of home has gone to work. Larry Page, CEO of Google, boasts of his company’s “family environment.” McDonalds promises to keep the information that its customers offer online within the “McDonald’s family”—which includes the McDonald’s Corporation and its franchises, subsidiaries, and affiliates. IBM refers to certain kinds of computer software as part of the “IBM family.”

5. Tough 2002, 80.

6. See chapter 8 of Hochschild 2012.

7. Gilbreth and Gilbreth Carey 1950/2005, 2; Cheaper by the Dozen 1950. The film was even culturally resonant enough to inspire a 2003 remake and 2005 sequel.

8. So the goal of Family360 affirms the idea of family, but it coaches dads in the means to affirm the cultural importance of the office. As John Dewey wisely noted, any idea is only as good as the means for achieving it (Dewey 1976,1981).

9. Time is a problem for many working parents, who put in far longer hours at work now than their counterparts did 30 years ago (Schor 1992; Fischer and Hout 2006, figure 5.13). So Family360 is a response to a real problem that many men and women at every class level face, regardless of whether they can pay a $1,000 fee. But as a time strategy, Family360 resets the scene, leading us to wonder at what point a solution becomes a problem.

10. Hochschild 1997. These strategies were not present in my first analysis of the material gathered for the book, but are based on further reflections.

11. Endurers develop a work-entrenched self, but the deferrer develops what I call in The Time Bind a “potential self.” This father resolved the contradiction between the demands of work and fatherhood by claiming to be an attuned dad now, while doing what might earn him that identity later. Thus, he deferred. Hochschild 1997,192–93, 235–37.

12. Heidmarsdottir 2002.

13. Each strategy has its light side. In a charming but telling story about his three-year-old daughter’s life as a New York child, Adam Gopnik (2002) describes, in the New Yorker, overhearing Olivia talk to an imaginary friend she names Charlie Ravioli. Charlie is “too busy” to play with her because he is working. In fact, Charlie hires an imaginary personal assistant to answer Charlie’s calls because Charlie is too busy to say he is too busy.

14. Every time strategy is linked to an orientation toward symbols, but we realize what is a symbol in our own eyes or those of others only in retrospect. We say “that act meant so much to me” only when we later discover how much it meant. Although people often intend to communicate meanings that they wish to last (“here we are, all together at Christmas”), what actually turn out to be lasting symbols are those well ensconced in the psyche of others. For example, many working families hold to sharing “a home-made meal” as a symbol of family unity, but many also have ceased to cook. So a new oven comes to re-symbolize family unity: the oven becomes like a fireplace, seldom used but sentimentally important.

CHAPTER SIX

1. Correspondence from an ambassador’s wife. This research is based on participant observation and upon a 1965 survey sent out to 100 wives of chiefs of American diplomatic missions, of whom thirty filled them out and returned them.

2. Stolberg 2012.

3. Stolberg 2012.

4. Bloch 2004.

5. De Callières 1716/2000, 23.

6. Although I had lived for ten years as the child of a diplomat, in larger and smaller embassies than this one, I made no systematic records of my observations in those posts.

7. When the questionnaires were mailed in 1965, there were 116 embassies, two of which were headed by women, some by bachelors, and six were vacant. Two-thirds were held by career diplomats and a third by political appointees. Interestingly, the responses from wives of political appointees did not differ significantly on any question from those of the wives of career men.

8. Fourteen percent did not specify the country to which the husband was assigned.

9. Bloch 2010; Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training 2012. The first female ambassador was appointed in 1949.

10. Reputations can bring honor or shame on the person so bestowed, and these can result in admiration or envy on the part of a bystanding community. We can perhaps speak of soft reputations (easy to carry) and hard ones (difficult to carry). As a “carrier” of another’s reputation, we can also respond in many ways—hide under another’s reputation, feel stifled by it, compete with it, or bust out from under it. Each of these responses calls for a certain amount of what I have called “emotion work” (see Hochschild 1983).

11. Papanek 1973.

12. As de Callières, the eighteenth-century expert in diplomacy, pointed out, “The diplomatist must. . . bear constantly in mind both at work and at play the aims which he is supposed to be serving in the foreign country, and should subordinate his personal pleasure and all his occupations to their pursuit” (de Callières 1716/2000,127).

13. In this respect the wife’s role, compared with that of her eighteenth- or nineteenth-century counterpart, has become more important (see Thompson and Padover 1963; Foster 1906; Roetter 1963). Judging from de Callières, the role of women in eighteenth-century diplomacy was more a source of influence upon powerful men than a source of information humbly gathered and loyally relayed to a spouse.

14. Post 1960; Satow 1917; U.S. Department of State 1963.

15. Hoover 1962.

16. Morgan 1965a, 1965b. Although her main task is to represent the “American people” (as distinct from the American government) to the local country, the diplomat’s wife actually represents a small segment of American people to local officials. There are no Southern hominy grits or tamale pies every tenth night or spaghetti every twelfth, for example. For the most part, she represents the lifestyle of the upper-class Protestant East Coast. The servants, the mansion, the chauffeured car, the six-course meals represent a small elite. This is, of course, equally true for the diplomats from most other countries.

17. Peterson 1965, 20.

18. Peterson 1965. But as the State Department Newsletter further advises, a wife has to mean what she says: “To announce an attitude and then not seem to live up to it is to many people in the host country a form of dishonesty that refiects against the United States. For example, to say that you like the local food and then refuse to touch it does not win friends.”

19. However, she went on to explain that she felt that being an ambassador’s wife is a profession. “I’m still practicing my profession [she was a cultural officer in the Foreign Service before marriage] but in an unpaid and unacknowledged capacity.” Of the wives sampled, slightly over half had been trained for and had practiced an occupation. This group included journalists, teachers, executive secretaries, a cultural officer, a hospital dietitian, a public relations officer for an investment firm, a musicologist, an artist, and an editor. Others, while not professionally trained, took a strong interest in their hobbies of music and teaching dance. Of the occupationally trained, half said that, in a way, they were still practicing their professions. For example, one former hospital dietitian said that she practices her profession “every day in the home” and “outside the house in under-developed countries by talking over nutritional problems. . . . My college and internship training and my two years of work before marriage are very valuable for my life in the foreign service and as the mother of six children.” Another, formerly an investments public relations officer, reported, “I have a chance to practice my profession as an ambassador’s wife, and must try to be all things to many types of people.”

On the other hand, a former journalist said about keeping up her profession, “It’s okay back in the United States, but never while abroad.” A trained nurse said she was not continuing her profession: “I think being an ambassador’s wife is a full-time job and should not be delegated to wives of subordinate officers. I retain my interest by encouraging wives to participate in volunteer work at hospitals and arranging benefits for hospitals.” Most agreed with one wife who warned, “If an ambassador’s wife wishes to practice her profession, she can’t be too careful.”

20. Bohlen 1962.

21. Some wives did not feel hampered by this in their choice of friends. When asked, “What do you feel about the chances to make close friends in your present position?” one wife stationed in east Africa replied, “Excellent among those in the community who have my interests in museology and art.”

22. Bohlen 1962 (italics mine).

23. Veblen 1899/1912.

24. The official car, for example, is actually the property of the American government, not the ambassador.

25. Nicolson 1952, chapter 10, 219.

26. De Callières 1716/2000. “It is not enough to think aright, the diplomatist must be able to translate his thoughts into the right language, and conversely he must be able to pierce behind the language of others to their true thoughts” (62).

27. There is also a message system between hostess and servant. At diplomatic dinners, the wife communicates by hand and eye or under-the-table electric buzzer, which sounds in the kitchen and which the hostess steps on when the last guest has finished each course.

28. To avoid an interpretation that is not intended in the covertly political language but that might be interpreted in that language, the ambassador’s wife and her husband may devise certain formulas.

29. See Salcedo 1959; U.S. Department of State 1963. Also see U.S. Department of State, “Protocol, Precedence and Formalities,” last updated in 2009.

30. Bohlen 1962.

31. Often the problems of seating determined who was omitted from the guest list, because protocol might seat people next to each other who were known to dislike each other or whose countries were in major disagreement on an important issue at the time.

32. U.S. Department of State 1963, “The Personal Call,” 4. According to protocol, everyone rises whenever the ambassador or his wife enters a room, even when many people are present. Chiefs of mission and their wives precede others in entering or leaving rooms. And no one should leave a function before the Ambassador and his wife leave. This means that, out of courtesy to restless subordinates, the chief of mission and his wife usually leave fairly early.

33. Hall 1959.

34. Norms of dress, for example, can communicate political messages. The modest way in which early American and post-1917 Russian diplomats’ wives dressed was “an expression of scorn for the pomp and flummery of bourgeois manners and dress of diplomats from other countries” (Roetter 1963,167).

35. Bohlen 1962.

36. Hall 1959.

37. Thirty-eight percent spent most of their time with local officials and/or their wives, 23 percent with American embassy wives, 8 percent with other Americans (mostly businessmen), 3 percent with their families, 10 percent with foreign envoys, 5 percent with other local women, 3 percent with servants (who are usually local), 3 percent with Peace Corps volunteers, 2 percent with local artists and intellectuals, 2 percent with foreign visitors, 2 percent with local students, and 2 percent with local wives married to American officers. Three percent said it was “hard to tell.” Altogether, 36 percent spent most of their time with other Americans of some sort or another, 12 percent with foreigners not from the assigned country, and 52 percent with locals.

38. In the 1960s, the average age of the career chief of mission was 53 years old. For the political appointee it was slightly younger, 51.9 years. In 1963, the youngest ambassador was 38 years old (U.S. Department of State 1964). The average age of a Foreign Service officer was 41.

39. U.S. Department of State 1963, 8.

40. See U.S. Department of State 1967, 9. Also see Fisher 1966.

41. If she did not actively participate, she kept herself informed about their activities, which included preparing booklets, directories, and shopping guides, setting up thrift shops, holding bazaars to raise charity money, holding flower shows, teaching (usually English), or doing social work.

42. The relation between the ambassador’s wife and her female subordinates depended on the size of the embassy. One ambassador’s wife distinguished the way relations with wives should be handled between small and large embassies:

I have always assumed that the morale and efficiency of the distaff side of the Embassy is largely the responsibility of the ambassador’s wife. . . . In small embassies one can bring the senior wives in for a monthly coffee or lunch and discuss the general problems of the local scene. Informal talks about how the different wives are getting on, whether there are any problem children and what can be done about them, enable the ambassador’s wife to keep her finger on the pulse of things without becoming unnecessarily involved in individual problems. In a large Embassy, of course, this is more difficult, but it is usually possible for even the busiest ambassador’s wife to set aside one morning every four or six weeks to talk with the senior wives, who should be prepared to talk briefly and knowledgeably about the junior wives in their sections of the Embassy and whether the general morale is good or bad.

43. As Robert Merton (1965) points out, the formal secondary group does not allow for primary relations that are disdainfully labeled as “apple polishing,” nepotism, or favoritism.

44. “The higher one’s rank, the harder it is to make friends,” one wife explained. “Any chief officer’s wife—be she that of a consul, consul-general, minister, or ambassador—probably has this experience. Among your own wives you have to take care to treat all carefully to avoid jealousies and rivalries.” Another noted, “Within the Embassy family it’s a delicate matter. I feel my relationships with all the other Embassy wives should be on an equally friendly but not intimate footing. My best friend is the wife of another ambassador at the Post.”

45. Emphasis mine.

46. The barriers that inhibit close friendship also applied to American wives whose husbands worked for parallel hierarchies of wives in the U.S. Information Service (USIS) and the Agency for International Development (AID), which are under the general supervision of the ambassador. “Jealousy and rivalry among the services and missions is a problem,” one wife noted, “if one devotes too much time and attention to any one [agency].” Talking, telephoning, and visiting time were all distributed equitably among the wives of subordinate officers in the organizations under her husband’s authority.

47. Penfield 1963. She continued, “Naturally this file is given to one’s successor,” suggesting the passing on of the social requirements to the next occupant of the role.

48. Bohlen 1962. She suggests to young wives that “in the junior ranks you will not have to invite senior officials; keep your entertaining simple and confine the guest list to those whom your husband should know and with whom he works.”

49. Even the embassy-furnished car and chauffeur are associated with a sense of territoriality. In London in 1661, “the attendant of the Spanish Ambassador in London fell upon the French Ambassador’s coach, killed the postillion, beat up the coachman and hamstrung two horses in order to make certain that the Spanish Ambassador’s coach went first” (Roetter 1963,162). While this is no longer such a symbolic object, there are still some rules of protocol attached to car seating. The official guide, Social Usage, suggests, “In order to have the ranking person sit there [at the place of honor on the right] it may be necessary for the junior person to enter the car first, or to go behind the car and enter from the other side” (U.S. Department of State 1963, 23). Social Usage also suggests that in many countries, the right side of the sofa is “considered the seat of honor” and “should not be occupied by the junior wife or husband unless specifically invited to do so” (23).

50. Although most of the furnishings are supplied by the State Department and are not of her choosing, the house often reflects an American standard of living and customs. It has air conditioning or heating, the windows usually have screening so that rooms are free of flies and other insects, and there are carpets on the floor. Even the smells (from the furniture and the cooking) are American and make Americans feel at home and foreigners feel to some extent not at home.

51. Bohlen 1962.

52. De Callières 1716/2000,127.

53. De Callières 1716/2000, 118. He elaborates, “Indeed it is the nature of things that good cheer is a great conciliator, that is, fosters familiarity, and promotes a freedom of exchange between the guests, while the warmth of wine will often lead to the discovery of important secrets” (119).

54. See Wolff 1951, 51. There are also certain rules of thumb concerning with whom one talks. “Talk to foreign guests and not with Embassy friends, introduce yourself to people you have not met. At dinner parties be sure to talk to your neighbor—even when language barriers exist you can usually manage something with your hands . . . or just be friendly. But above all try—a hostess cannot bear pools of silence halfway down her table” (Bohlen 1962).

55. De Callières 1716/2000,132.

56. If it is a fairly large embassy, there may be a staff of up to five or six, one being the head steward. The diplomat’s wife may take them with her from post to post or train each staff as she meets them at a new post. In some cases, they may provide her with deep insight into the indigenous culture. One of the biggest problems with her staff is petty stealing or “borrowing.” As one ambassador’s wife reported, “Your staff is your biggest problem. Without their loyalty and respect you cannot entertain. In spite of this you must constantly safeguard against stealing—thus insulting them. Thievery is common. We’ve just caught our cook at it. The guardienne and the other steward reported it. If I fire him, two years of training in a hot kitchen goes down the drain as well as a good cook. If I keep him, the morale of the others goes down and they think it’s acceptable to steal. I’ve learned to accept cheating up to a certain point. Cooks are hard to find [here].”

57. Winfield 1962. Her communication with embassy wives is similar to the advice given to junior wives: “Keep your eye on the hostess, she may need an errand done or want some information.”

58. According to one ambassador’s wife, “Old friends may become more precious also.” Said one wife, “Maintaining friendships with old friends in the Service in previous posts, by correspondence, is one of my pleasures. Old friends have almost become my roots in this nomadic life of ours, and becoming a principal officer’s wife does not change one’s contact with them.”

59. Winfield (1962) noted, “Another thing which frequently is revealed is that in a new and strange situation family members are pulled closer together and there is a closing of the ranks” (96).

60. Merton 1965.

CHAPTER SEVEN

1. Viviana Zelizer (2005) distinguishes between three approaches to the intersection of market and personal life. These she calls the a) “hostile worlds,” b) “nothing but,” and c) “connected lives” approaches—the latter being her own. Tocqueville, Bellah, Kuttner, Sandel and others—including us—focus on points of tension between market and personal life, and studies with this focus constitute, we feel, a missing fourth category.

2. Tocqueville 1840/1945, 98.

3. Tocqueville 1840/1945, 99,104.

4. Tocqueville 1840/1945, 99. To be sure, Tocqueville counterbalanced his fear of this inward-facing individualism with an admiration for American voluntary associations—based on a faith in collective action. Latter-day commentators—from Bellah to Amatai Etzioni and Robert Putnam—have rued the loss of this communal aspect of American life. A number of social scientists, including Margaret Levi, Karen Cook, and Claude Fischer (1982, 2011), have studied the question of whether we have lost, retained, or redirected our sense of community. See Cook, Harden, and Levi 2007.

5. Smith 1759/1976.

6. Tocqueville 1840/1945, 22.

7. Bellah et al. 1996,147.

8. Bellah et al. 1996,17.

9. Bellah et al. 1996,108.

10. Certainly changes in our basic context—the rise in suburban, urban, and airport mega-malls, for example—deeply affect us, as does the climate of public opinion. See Cohen 2003.

11. Nafstad et al. 2009. See also Nafstad et al. 2007.

12. Searches from before the turn of the century proved to be less reliable, possibly because of inconsistent encoding of the newspaper scans. The number of articles published in the New York Times varied over our search periods: 155,827 in the 1900 period; 272,817 in the 1970 period; and 183,921 in the 2004 period. To be able to assess historical trends in the representation of particular concepts in the newspaper, we standardized all findings relative to the number of articles published in each period. When we discuss increases in a given term, for example, this trend is thus independent of the different sizes of the newspaper in each era. For more information about the data and analyses presented in this chapter, please contact the authors.

13. See Inglehart and Norris 2007; Kohut and Stokes 2006 (chapter 5); Morin 1998.

14. Andrew Cherlin argues this in The Marriage-Go-Round (2009).

15. We could not, for technical reasons, replicate Nafstad’s searches for I and me, but we were able to trace other words—singly and in pairs—suggesting both relationships typical of close community and those typical of the market.

16. DeWall et al. 2011.

17. From the Chicago Times (February 14,1970) and the New York Times (February 17, 2007, two articles), respectively.

18. From the New York Times (February 17, 2007) and the Los Angeles Times (February 3, 2007, and February 10, 2007), respectively.

19. From the New York Times (February 10, 2007) and the Los Angeles Times (February 3, 2007), respectively.

20. In our sample of military recruitment materials, the ratio of ads appealing to individual gain to those appealing to national duty, pride, or need was approximately 1 to 2.53 during World War I,1 to 3.21 during World War II, and 1 to 2.15 today. These figures reflect coding that allowed for recruitment ads to represent both individual gain and national duty/pride/need. Analyses of the subset of posters that represented only one of the themes reveals a decline in national duty/pride/need (26 percent to 20 percent) and an increase in appeals to self-interest (14 percent to 26 percent).

21. The unit of analysis here is the article; that is, these findings are all based on the proportion of articles in each three-year period found with a particular search term or set of search terms (for example, trust, or the set of terms denoting family). We look at these counts in terms of their raw number, but also with regard to the same counts in other years, counts of articles containing other terms, and the changing size of the paper. In these and all other searches in the New York Times, we searched for the word reported as well as variations of it. For example, we searched for trust as well as trusting. As initial searches revealed that trust was frequently used in a financial instead of a relational sense, we employed search strategies designed to exclude from our analyses the articles in which trust was used within five words of fund or financial. Over the course of the century, the proportion of articles in which trust and related words appeared declined by about half; sympathy and duty each declined by about 60 percent.

22. From the Chicago Times (February 4,1900), the New York Times (February 3,1900), and the Chicago Times (February 11,1900), respectively.

23. The proportion of sermon titles that evoked giving, selflessness, community, and/or communal roles declined from 13 and 12 percent in 1900 and 1970, respectively, to 4 percent in 2007. There was also a decline in the proportion of sermons that focused on selfless, compassionate leaders. Among the 278 sermons announced in early February 1900, about 10 percent focused on figures such as Abraham Lincoln and Jane Adams. That proportion had sunk by half by the 1970s, and (though the small number of sermons published in 2007 make the data less certain) it seems to have continued at this low level into the new century.

24. See note 21 for a description of our New York Times analyses.

25. Gillis 1996.

26. That is to say, the proportion of articles including the term profit and its variations doubled over the 100-year period, while the presence of consume and consumer together increased almost eightfold.

27. Although services available through large mega-churches have increased over time (for example, childcare for different age groups), the proportion of Americans who describe themselves as unaffiliated rose from 7 percent in 1970 to 20 percent today. A third of those under age 30 say they are unaffiliated. See Hout and Fischer 2002; Pew Research Center 2012.

28. New York Times (February 7,1970).

29. Indeed, the military has invested significant funding in honing their market message. In 2006, Ira Teinowitz reported that the U.S. army spent “more than $200 million annually on marketing—the biggest ad contract in the federal government.”

30. Piccalo 2004.

31. And objects can seem to offer lasting connections. Indeed, as James Burroughs and Aric Rindfleisch (1997) write, for children of divorce, the purchase of things may support a useful “coping mechanism . . . helping to restore a sense of stability, permanence, and identity in their lives” (91).

32. Gobé 2001.

33. Gobé 2001, xviii (emphasis in original).

34. Goleman 1995; Thomson 1998; Anthony 2003; Cairnes 2003; Bradberry and Greaves 2005; Newman 2008.

35. Gobé 2001, xvi.

36. Peters 1997.

37. Kaputa 2005.

38. See also chapter 1 in this volume.

39. Greenwald 2003, back cover and p. 4.

40. McNally and Speak 2011.

41. Elliott 2006.

42. Elliott 2006.

43. Cruz 2003. See also Reyes 2004, and Frito-Lay’s announcement of the competition: “Would You Name Your Baby Horton?—If So, Ruffles Wants to Pay for College” (May 12, 2003), www.fritolay.com/about-us/press-release-20030512.html.

44. Deam 2003.

45. Smith 2005.

46. Posted on eBay on February 25, 2005.

47. Smith 2005.

48. Thanks for this insight to Neil Smelser, Sociology Department, University of California-Berkeley.

49. Wallulis 1998.

50. Our finding that rhetoric reflecting the values upholding communal ties has persisted through the century fits with other research on friendship. See Fischer 2011.

51. See Pugh forthcoming.

CHAPTER EIGHT

1. Barrie Thorne, my friend and colleague in Sociology at U.C. Berkeley, was the lead author on the original article, and I made later revisions. Also see Hochs-child, The Time Bind: When Work Becomes Home and Home Becomes Work (1997).

2. In the early 1990s, approximately 10 percent of chairs in “doctorate-granting I and II institutions” were women (Carroll 1991). More recent data suggest that the proportion is increasing, “especially at non-research oriented institutions” (Carroll and Wolverton 2004; Niemeier and González 2004). In 2000, women made up about 20 percent of chairs, with variation across departments (Niemeier and González 2004; Roos and Gatta 2009).

3. Niemeier and González 2004; Roos and Gatta 2009.

4. See “Inside the Clockwork of Male Careers” in Hochschild 2003, 227–54.

5. Hochschild and Machung 1989.

6. Mokros, Erkut, Spichiger, and the Spencer Foundation (1981), for example, found female advisors engaged more with the personal concerns of their students than did their male counterparts.

7. American Association of University Professors 2012.

8. American Association of University Professors 2012.

CHAPTER NINE

1. This point is carefully made by Zelizer 1994, 2005; Hyde 1983; Mauss 1954/2000.

2. Lasch 1977.

3. Zelizer 1994.

4. Hochschild 1997,114.

5. The quotes are from classified advertisements found on the Internet, most from Craigslist.

6. See chapter 4 for more discussion.

7. Fowler 2011; Guynn 2012; Useem 2000. What are now called “new company towns” also offer many paid services that a homemaker or the man of the house used to do at home: laundry and dry cleaning services, car washing and maintenance, bicycle repair, and chef-cooked dinners. Even civic life has come to work. Lands’ End, a mail-order clothing company, and Amgen, a biotech firm, developed employee clubs for “chess, genealogy, gardening, model airplanes, public speaking, tennis, karate, scuba diving and charity” (Useem 2000). Another corporation has a singles group called Mingle. According to Useem, in the early 2000s, a thousand companies nationwide offered onsite Bible study groups. With the mall and civic life brought in the door of the workplace, the professional and managerial worker tends, of course, to work long days and have less time to live the nonwork side of life.

8. This survey was administered by the University of California-Berkeley’s Survey Research Center as part of their Golden Bear Omnibus program. Using random digit telephone sampling and computer-assisted telephone interviewing, investigators surveyed Spanish- and English-speaking adults 18 years of age or older, residing in households with telephones, within the state of California, between April 30, 2007, and September 2, 2007. During the study, 1,186 phone interviews were completed, with an overall response rate of 15.9 percent. Our module about engaging personal services was completed by 978 respondents.

9. Klinenberg 2012. Also see Livingston 2011; Martin et al. 2011.

10. See Sandholtz et al. 2004, which grew out of their book (Sandholtz et al. 2002).

11. Sandholtz et al. 2004.

12. These classified ads were accessed on the Internet, mainly from Craigs-list, between 2000 and 2010.

13. “Ellie & Melissa TheBabyPlanners,” http://web.archive.org/web/20120615170036/http://www.thebabyplanners.com/contact.html.

14. Salmon 1996.

15. Barbara Smaller, New Yorker, May 31, 2004.

16. C. Covert Darbyshire, New Yorker, July 22, 2002.

17. Nippert-Eng (1996) focuses on ways we draw boundaries between symbolic realms of home and work—by putting up family photos at work, placing keys for home and work on the same key-chain, using the same or separate calendars for home and work events, keeping one or two telephone books for colleagues and friends. Some people, she notes, use integrating whereas others use segmenting strategies.

18. With modernization, Parsons and Bales (1955) argued, the family has moved from an institution that performed many functions (education, entertainment, economic activity, socialization, and procreation) to one that performed few. The factory system took over economic activities, schools and summer camps, education, and so on.

19. Parsons and Bales (1955). The market itself is welded into a notion of modernity. Meanwhile, families are a matter of roles—the differentiation between male and female roles, in Parsonian theory, and matters of role-overload or role-spillover in later formulations (Barnett and Marshall 1992; Barnett, Marshall, and Sayer 1992; Burley 1991). The hostess who compared herself to a worker at the bed and breakfast inn might be said to be suffering from “role overload.”

20. Fildes 1988.

21. Zelizer 1994. As Ralph Fevre (2003) has argued, economic sociologists who once launched a major critique of Weber’s “iron cage” have quietly climbed inside it to study and comment on it “from within.” To look at the market with greater perspective, we need to focus on the overall balance between the market “realm of worth,” as Boltanski and Thévenot (2006) call it, and those of the state, civic life, and family. We should also look to the “take-away give-back” syndrome embedded within capitalism itself. See Hochschild 2012.

22. Marx both admired and faulted capitalism. His major concern, of course, was with the owners’ exploitation of workers, the growing class divide between rich and poor, and the individual’s alienation both from what she makes and from what she buys (for instance, see Marx and Engels 1887/1967).

23. For natural resources, see Schor 2004; Schor and Holt 2000. For human resources, see Ehrenreich 2001. For inequalities, see Kuttner 1997. For erosion of the commons, see Bollier 2003; Rowe 2002.

24. Polanyi 1944.

25. Kuttner 1997.

26. Bollier 2003. This is because a system based on the profit motive simply is not designed to protect the public good.

27. Rifkin 2000. See also Fevre 2003; Hochschild 1997.

28. Schor 2004.

29. Many services are advertised in such a way as to invite us to question the adequacy of who we are or what we have. Just as the ads for skin products feature young women with impeccable complexions, so do ads for personal services raise the bar on personal fulfillment almost out of reach. (Thanks to Mark Kramer for the comparison to such an ad.) In pursuing this line of questioning, we can draw on the distinction Christina Nippert-Eng (1996) makes in her book Home and Work between those with an eye for boundaries between the two realms and those with an eye for integration. We can also draw on the foundational work of Viviana Zelizer (1994, 2005), which focuses on integration.

30. See my book The Outsourced Self (Hochschild 2012).

31. Tronto 1993.

32. Simmel 1978.

33. Marx and Engels 1887/1967.

34. Hochschild 1983.

35. A busy working mother living in an upscale neighborhood in which families have children’s birthday planners may go with the trend or buck it. She might feel that “I’m not doing enough myself; I’ve bought myself out of a job,” and so manage any feelings of guilt. Or she might displace her anxiety about not doing enough herself by anxiously monitoring the hired clown or the Chuck E. Cheese’s waitress. Or she might envy those with enough money to commod-ify life more, but feel she should not envy them because, after all, they have become estranged from the important things in life. In doing this, she “works on” her envy.

36. Pugh 2005.

CHAPTER TEN

This article is based on a talk given April 23,2009, at the University of Frankfurt, Frankfurt, Germany.

1. Here I draw on research by Rhacel Parreñas (2001, 2003, 2005), S. Uma Devi (2003; Isaksen, Devi, and Hochschild 2008), and others as well as on my own interviews with Filipina nannies and Indian surrogate mothers.

2. Castles and Miller 1998; Zlotnik, 2003.

3. Farnam 2003.

4. United Nations, Department of Economic and Social Affairs 2011.

5. Gamburd 2000; Brochmann 1993.

6. Parreñas 2001, 2003, 2005.

7. Professor Francis Wilson, Economics Department, University of Cape Town, South Africa, personal communication with author, 1990.

8. Parreñas 2001, 2003, 2005; Isaksen, Devi, and Hochschild 2008; Cox 1990; Espiritu 2003.

9. The United States often recruits low-paid foreign workers to do industrial work. See Miraftab 2011.

10. Robles and Watkins 1993, cited in Foner and Dreby 2011, 555.

11. Parreñas 2001, 87. “Vicky” is the pseudonym provided by Parreñas.

12. Parreñas 2001, 87.

13. Parreñas 2001.

14. World Bank 2011. These figures are expected to increase significantly in the coming years (Mohapatra, Ratha, and Silwal 2011). Some economists dispute the economic benefits of remittances for the home countries’ economies. Economists at the International Monetary Fund and Duke University argue, for example, that remittances are “wasted on big-screen TVs and faux-adobe mansions” instead of being invested in new businesses (Frank 2001, 2; Wheatley 2003).

15. Page and Plaza 2006.

16. World Bank 2013. In terms of the total value of remittances, however, the countries that received the greatest amount in 2010 were India, China, Mexico, the Philippines, and France (World Bank 2011, x).

17. DeParle 2008. According to the World Bank economist Dilip Ratha, in 2003 the amount of remittances sent by both male and female migrant workers worldwide was nearly three times greater than all the world’s combined foreign aid (DeParle 2008).

18. DeParle 2008.

19. World Bank 2011.

20. Iliff 2008.

21. Confederation of Indian Industry, and McKinsey & Company 2012.

22. Google Baby, 2009, dir. Zippi Brand Frank.

23. This was the number of births and surrogates in residence as of 2011. Ditte Bjerg, Executive Producer and Director, Global Stories, Copenhagen, Denmark, personal communication with author.

24. Bjerg, personal communication.

25. For more on emotional labor, see Hochschild 1983.

26. Aditya Ghosh, a journalist with the Hindustan Times, translated for me from Gugarati to English.

27. Dr. Ghautam N. Allabadia, Director of the Rotunda Clinic, Mumbai, India, interview with author, 2010.

28. The regulatory bill drafted in 2010 is with the Indian Law Ministry, having not yet reached the parliament. N. B. Sarojini, SAMA Women’s Health, Delhi, India, personal communication with author, 2010.

29. For a summary, see Pet 2011, and the letter posted there from the SAMA Resource Group for Women and Health to the Indian Health Ministry.

30. For N. B. Sarojini, director of the Delhi-based SAMA Resource Group for Women and Health, a nonprofit feminist research institute, the problem is one of distorted priorities. “The ART clinics are posing themselves as the answer to an illusory ‘crisis’ of infertility,” she says. “Two decades back, a couple might consider themselves ‘infertile’ after trying for five years to conceive. Then it moved to four years. Now couples rush to ARTs after one or two. Why not put the cultural spotlight on alternatives? Why not urge childless women to adopt orphans? And what, after all, is wrong with remaining childless?” See Hochschild 2012.

31. Solid information on the size of the reproductive tourism sector is difficult to find. See Hochschild (2012), chapters 4 and 5, as well as Pande (2009a, 2009b, 2010) and Rudrappa (2012).

32. There are no official data comparing how much less Indian surrogates receive than their American counterparts, but published estimates range from between less than 10 percent to up to 50 percent (Smerdon 2008; Gentleman 2008; Arora 2012). Because of broker and institutional fees, the relationship between what clients pay and what surrogates receive varies between the countries as well. The clients of U.S. surrogates may pay anywhere from double (Rudrappa 2012), to three times (Gentleman 2008), five times (Fontanella-Khan 2010; Roy 2011), or nearly six times (Haworth 2007) what they would if they were contracting surrogacy in India.

33. Greider 1997. Right now international surrogacy is a confusing legal patchwork. Commercial surrogacy is banned in Canada, New Zealand, Australia, and much of Europe (such as Spain, Belgium, France, the Netherlands) and elsewhere (Davis 2012; Roy 2011; Anderson, Snelling, and Tomlins-Jahnke 2012; Ahmad 2011), though altruistic surrogacy is legal in some of these nations. Commercial surrogacy is unregulated or is permitted with few restrictions in some countries such as China (Davidson 2012), India, and Russia (Davis 2012; Svitnev 2010). It is legal, regulated, and paid for by the state in Israel for Israeli citizens (Teman 2010; Weisberg 2005). In the United Kingdom, one cannot hire a commercial surrogate, but one can use foreign surrogates and, pending approval by the High Court, secure legal parenthood in the United Kingdom after birth (Davis 2012; Gamble 2012).

The handling of gestational surrogacy in the United States varies widely. According to Gugucheva (2010), “most states have unclear laws governing surrogacy agreements. Nevertheless, they can roughly be grouped into six categories, reflecting the degree of restriction they impose on surrogacy agreements. Ranging from most favorable to most restrictive, there are states that: (1) hold surrogacy agreements valid and enforceable, (2) have unclear statutes but favorable case law, (3) explicitly allow surrogacy agreements but regulate the market, (4) have unclear statutes and no case law, (5) hold surrogacy agreements void and unenforceable, and (6) prohibit and/or penalize individuals entering such agreements, sometimes under threat of heavy fines and jail time. Most states fall in the middle, and most do not have statutes that address the validity or legality of surrogacy contracts” (13). The Center for American Progress identified only seventeen states and the District of Columbia that had statutory laws on the books in 2007, including California, which allows commercial surrogacy, and New York, which bans it.

34. Orwell 1949; Bradbury 1981.

35. Huxley 1932.

36. Atwood 1985. Various films carry these themes further. Amerika (1987) was a television miniseries about a United States taken over by communism, with strict martial law enforced by a U.N.-appointed Russian general governing the United States from Moscow. To be sure, some recent films such as Inside Job (2010) have cast, as the villain, powerful corrupt companies.

37. Professor Kai Maiwald, Osnabruck University, Germany, personal communication with author, 2011.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

This essay is based on extensive original research conducted by the economist Professor S. Uma Devi in Kerala, India, funded by the Norwegian Research Council. All quotes from Keralan workers, caregivers, and children are from this research, first reported here. Many thanks to Bonnie Kwan for her excellent typing and editing assistance, to Adam Hochschild for his helpful critique of an early draft, and to Winnie Poster for helpful critique of a later draft. Also see Sheba George’s fine 2005 study, which focuses on the relationship between Keralan migrant nurses and their follow-later husbands, and the stigma suffered by both.

1. United Nations, Department of Economic and Social Affairs 2011.

2. United Nations, Department of Economic and Social Affairs 2011; Castles and Miller 1998.

3. Zlotnik 2003.

4. Momsen 1999; Parreñas 2001; Hondagneu-Sotelo 2001; Ehrenreich and Hochschild 2003; Hochschild 2000b.

5. Scholars of female migration focus either on wives who joined their husbands in the North to reunify the family, or on female solo migrants who moved for work. But as Pierrette Hondagneu-Sotelo notes, women increasingly fit the “male model” of family provider. See Hondagneu-Sotelo 2003b, 1994; Anderson 2000; Khruemanee 2002.

6. Anderson 2000.

7. When Mother Comes Home for Christmas 1996.

8. Reyes 2008.

9. See García Zamora 2006 , table 13, “Niños y niñas que vivan sin padre y madre” [Children who live without mother or father]: Jalisco, 35%; Michoacan, 30%; Zacatecas, 33%.

10. Hondagneu-Sotelo 2003 a, 267.

11. Parreñas 2001, 2003, 2005. Also see Erista et al. 2003; Morada 2001.

12. See Hochschild 2000a, 2000b.

13. Western scholars often focus on the two-person balancing act in the North, omitting the third, fourth, or more people involved in this act—the childcare worker, her children, and their caregivers living in the South. Curiously, the attention to “work-family balance”—and to care—that is so freely applied to families in the North is often missing from the more economically focused research on migrant women of the South.

14. Barbic and Miklavcic-Brezigar 1999, quoted in Momsen 1999,169.

15. Yeates 2004.

16. Rowe 2002; Bollier 2003.

17. Mills 1967, 8.

18. Parreñas 2001.

19. Gamburd 2000; Brochmann 1993.

20. Devi 2003; Parreñas 2001.

21. And often the topic does not arise because it causes too much personal pain. Ana, a Thai nanny I interviewed, had worked for fifteen years in San Jose, California. When I asked her how many children she had, she answered that she had two. It was only when I asked her if she had left any children behind that she told me of a son she had had by her first husband, a child she had been forced to leave behind in Thailand with her mother and ex-husband. A photograph of this son was not among the dozen or so on her living room table. When I asked about this child, she told me, “It’s complicated. My son by my first marriage . . . I left him with my mother when I came here. And my husband wanted his son with him in the village. He wouldn’t let me take him. Even at the hospital, I had my mother sign as the legal guardian. When I next went back to Thailand, my son was eight. I should never have gone back. Because then my son wanted to come with me. I tried to arrange for him to come here, but since I wasn’t his legal guardian, I couldn’t do it. My son waited and waited. But after he heard he couldn’t come, he had a motorcycle accident. He died [weeps].”

22. Devi 2003; Ramji and Devi 2003.

23. Erista et al. 2003,10.

24. Devi 2003; Ramji and Devi 2003. Many social problems have a “shame wrap-around.” Many homeless people are ashamed of being homeless. Many poor people are ashamed of being poor. Many of the imprisoned are ashamed of being in prison. In each instance, to different degrees, the victim is led to violate some norm for which they experience shame. But erased from the picture is the larger pattern that led to that violation—that shame—in the first place.

25. For instance, Go and Postrado 1986; Abella and Atal 1986; Arnold and Shah 1986; Schmalzbauer 2004; Parreñas 2005; Aranda 2003; Artico 2003; Bry-ceson and Vuorela 2002.

26. Kandel and Kao 2001.

27. Battistella and Conaco 1998.

28. Battistella and Conaco 1998, 231.

29. Battistella and Conaco 1998, 231.

30. Schmalzbauer, 2004, 1328. Schmalzbauer also conducted focus groups and did some participant observation.

31. Parreñas 2005.

32. Dreby 2010. Also see George 2005.

33. Devi 2003; Ramji and Devi 2003.

34. Devi 2003; Ramji and Devi 2003. They interviewed the working mothers in the six Emirates of the United Arab Emirates (where nine of the twenty-two lived alone) and interviewed their children and the kin who cared for them in Kerala.

35. Kerala State Planning Board 2002.

36. The prevailing ideal in marriage also calls for coresidence and monogamy. Migration prevents the first and strains the second. Although this was not a focus of the Devi research, Parreñas found many husbands of long-absent Fili-pina migrant mothers set up house with other women in villages away from their own children (Parreñas 2005).

37. Isaksen, Devi, and Hochschild 2008,412.

38. Ibid., 412.

39. Ibid., 413. In Tahitians, the social anthropologist Robert Levy (1973) speaks of whole realms of human feeling for which given cultures have few or no words. For feelings in the upper range of emotion such as joy, happiness, euphoria, he observed that the Tahitians had many words. But for the lower range—sadness, regret, longing, or depression, they had only one word: “sick.” Where there are few words, Levi reasoned, there is a cultural underacknow-ledgment of feeling, an underarticulation of experience. In Malayalam, too, there is no special word for a feeling many children in Kerala experience—“mother-envy.” In the context of a highly educated population and stagnant economy in which the desirability of migration goes largely unquestioned, such feelings clearly exist but with, so to speak, a cover over them.

40. Isaksen, Devi, and Hochschild 2008, 413.

41. Ibid., 413.

42. Ibid., 413.

43. Ibid., 413.

44. Rhacel Parreñas, for example, found that relatives who cared for migrants’ children often came to resent their charges’ negligent fathers, who had disengaged from their children’s daily lives, sometimes accompanied by drinking, gambling, or carrying on extramarital affairs (Constable 2003; Parreñas 2005). Such male avoidance of care may express not simply a “traditional” reluctance to do women’s work but also a backlash at lost privilege. Kin must then add to their caretaking responsibilities the task of dealing with a husband-father who feels he has lost “his place.” Russian fathers who are separated or divorced from their wives are often replaced by their wives’ mothers in caring for their children (see Utrata 2008).

45. In this sense, migrant parents and children are subject to the same materialization-doubts as absent or divorced fathers. An 18-year-old daughter of a divorced father interviewed for a previous study told Devi, “Every time I talk to my dad on the phone, the conversation begins, ‘Do you need money?’ It’s as if he thinks that’s all he could give me.”

46. Isaksen, Devi, and Hochschild 2008, 415.

47. Devi 2003; Ramji and Devi 2003; Schmalzbauer 2004.

48. We need highly sophisticated research comparing the children of migrant mothers with those of non-migrant mothers and migrant fathers. We also need work comparing children who experience different kinds of nonparental care.

49. Habermas 1985.

50. People with many chits are high in social capital, and those with few are low. As Portes (1998) notes, “social capital [is] primarily the accumulation of obligations from others according to the norm of reciprocity” (7).

51. Isaksen, Devi, and Hochschild 2008, 416.

52. Lakoff 1980.

53. A brief word about “social capital”: the concept draws on the work of Pierre Bourdieu (1986) and Bourdieu and Loïc Wacquant (1992), James Coleman (1988), and Robert Putnam (1993, 2000), and it has been applied to migration by Alejandro Portes (1998). Putnam (2000) defines social capital in a variety of ways—as the number of a person’s social contacts, the sum of one’s organizational memberships, and the norms of reciprocity and trustworthiness that arise from these contacts and memberships (19).

Actually, Putnam (2000) is confusing on just this point. He sometimes refers to “social capital” in the way the metaphor suggests—as the property of an individual; other times, he refers to social capital strictly as the attribute of a collectivity. Scholars applying the concept to the Third World tend to see social capital as the attribute of an individual (Harriss 2002).

As many social critics have noted, the concept of social capital is overly broad. Woolcock, a World Bank economist, observed: “Several critics, not without justification have voiced their concern that collapsing an entire discipline into a single variable (especially one with such economic overtones) is a travesty, but there are others who are pleased that mainstream sociological ideas are finally being given their due at the highest levels” (quoted in Harriss 2002, 82). In “Social Capital: The World Bank’s Fungible Friend,” the economist Ben Fine notes that the concept, initially applied to economic growth, school performance, and job placement, is now being applied to infant mortality, solid waste management, and communal violence (Fine 2003,587).

The concept has also been critiqued for its woolliness, lack of empirical specificity, decontextualization (our concern), and depoliticizing implications. The more social capital a nation has, Harriss (2002) reasons, the more the World Bank feels it can press for reduced government aid in Third World countries and press for the liberalization of trade. “Is it a coincidence,” Fine (2003) asks, “that social capital has come to the fore just as the World Bank is proposing to reallocate billions of dollars for infrastructure funding from the IDA (International Development Assistance), which makes concessional loans to governments, to the IFC (International Financial Corporation), which lends exclusively to the private sector?” (600).

54. Dalton 1969, 65–66.

55.The concept of social capital, let us hasten to add, was not originally designed to obscure the human cost of global migration. Those who first added social capital to the conversation about Third World development and care did so, rather, with the idea of adding a human touch to the economic discussions of money, bridges, factories, and the like. But “the human side” was paradoxically used in such a way as to obscure it. The market metaphor has been making its way through social science via what we might call the “capital series.” The series begins with material capital and extends to human capital (Coleman 1988), social capital (Putnam 1995, 2000), emotional capital (Illouz 2007; Hochschild 2012), and pugilistic capital (Wacquant 2004).

Theorists of the commons, for their part, offer us two pictures of social capital. One is a positive picture—a set of resources or relationships that are common and shared for mutual benefit, such as the trust and copresence of mother and child. Here the emphasis is on sharing a sense of in-commonness. The second is negative—a similarly shared set of resources that people, each thinking of their private good, ultimately abuse (Harden 1995). In this chapter, we extend the first picture. See also Tronto 1993; Rowe 2002; Polanyi 1944.

56. Some commons are temporary and emergency based (as in response to a natural disaster); others establish expectations of long-term reciprocity.

57.Solari 2006a, 2010.

58. Cinzia Solari, e-mail communication with author, 2011. Also see Solari 2006b, 2010, 2011.

59. To World Bank economists, indicators of social capital are seen as a sign of “good prospects” for foreign investment in the Third World. But little analysis is devoted to how immigration erodes the very community and family life—the social capital—they see as the “missing link” in economic development. (Harriss 2002; Fine 2003; Woolcock 2001).

60. Durkheim 1893/1984; Polanyi 1944.

61. Durkheim 1893/1984.

62. Fevre 2003,3–7.

63. Polanyi 1944, 134–35.

CHAPTER TWELVE

1. All names in this article are pseudonyms. Hochschild 2009, 2012; Garey and Hansen 2011.

2. Kuttner 1997.

3. Friedman 1962.

4. Marx 1844/1986. Using different terms, a number of sociologists have dealt with this question. In Granovetter’s seminal 1985 paper, he proposes that we think of markets as embedded in society and think of society as a set of social networks. Since then, some network theorists have talked about such social networks in increasingly threadbare terms. Uzzi (1997), for example, writes that “a network structure rich in structural holes is virtually all that is needed to induce information and resources to flow through the network like electric current through a circuit board” (63). Zukin and DiMaggio (1990) propose that we distinguish between structural, political, cognitive, and cultural forms of embeddedness. Zelizer (2010), a pioneer in this field, warns that “embedded-ness” as a concept can lead us to avert our eyes from the “relational work” through which actors fit money (or other media of exchange) to the needs of self-differentiating individuals.

5. Hochschild 1983, 2003.

6. Zelizer (2005) gives us the idea that money penetrates our everyday lives. We give and receive allowances, pin money, gifts, payment for chores, alimony, all within the realm of “intimate life.” Individual will and culture matter a great deal, she argues. Arjun Appadurai (1986) adds to Zelizer the intriguing idea that things—religious relics, stones, artifacts—have a social life. That is, they get valued and devalued in the eye of the beholder depending on what they represent. In the same way, the value of personal services can rise and fall in the eyes of clients, depending on the cultural eyes through which we see them.

7. Although the concept of a gift economy was first applied by Mauss (1954/2000) to preliterate societies, Hyde (1983) points out that in modern life the rules of the gift economy apply to relations between lovers, family, friends, and other forms of community.

8. If a person were to donate a kidney to an ill child, one would detach the idea of “me” from the organ and conceive of it as a gift-for-my-child. But what if one has a child for money, and the money is intended for one’s existing child? Is a person detached from the baby but attached to the money? How, I wondered, does this work?

9. And, of course, this perspective denies the myriad ways that the surrogate and fetus are strongly connected. The surrogate feels the baby’s presence in many other parts of her body—her digestive system, ankles, hips, and breasts, not to mention her fantasies and dreams. And psychologists have found that babies respond with faster heartbeats to their (gestational) mother’s voices in utero (for example, see Kisilevsky et al. 2003).

10. Government of India, Ministry of Health and Family Welfare, and Indian Council of Medical Research 2010; Roy 2011; SAMA Resource Group for Women and Health 2012.

11. Pande 2009a, 2009b, 2010.

12. Left out of the usual story, however, is good government. Anjali credited the market for her good fortune and thought nothing about government services. But were she to live in Canada—the country of her clients—she would not be forced to earn money to pay for a good education for her children or medical care for her husband, nor would she herself lack an education. Given an honest, well-functioning government, these would be hers as a citizen. With better resulting options, she would have freer choices.

13. Indeed, at this writing, a large new dormitory called “The Nest” is being constructed at the Akanksha Clinic to house some sixty more surrogates. Ditte Bjerg, Director of Global Stories, Copenhagen, Denmark, personal communication with author, 2012.