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“I’ll take Roby,” Mike said, as I pulled into the driveway. He hooked the dog and they trotted down the street as I went inside. I opened up my netbook and looked up the address of the warehouse where I’d seen the fried chicken and the sleeping bags. The last owner had gone bankrupt, and the bank had foreclosed on the mortgage. Like a lot of property, it sat abandoned, waiting for an economic revival that might never arrive.
Mike came back with Roby, and we left for Terri’s soon after. Neither of us spoke much on the drive, but Mike broke out in a huge smile when Terri’s son Danny came rushing out of the house to meet us. He was about to turn ten in a few weeks, and he still couldn’t decide if he wanted to be a fireman when he grew up, like Mike, or a cop, like me and his late father.
“I saw a fire last week!” he crowed. “It wasn’t very big, not like a house or anything, but the flames were a really light color, like almost white, not like when we burn wood in the fireplace in Colorado.”
Levi had introduced Danny to skiing at a condo in Vail the year before, and they were due to spend another spring break there soon.
“White flame means there was gasoline in the fire,” Mike said. “Now the stuff in your fireplace, that’s wood, so that burns red.”
Terri came out the front door. “Danny, let your uncles get in the house, please.”
Danny grabbed Mike’s hand. “Come on, I want to show you something.”
Mike followed him to the backyard, and Terri and I went inside. She looked great, in a tight white polo with plaid shorts and a white fabric belt. For a long time after her husband died, it was like some of the life had leached out of her, too. But since meeting Levi, she had returned to the girl I knew.
“Can we talk?” I asked. “Before we go outside?”
“Sure. What’s up?”
I sat on the floral-print sofa. Terri’s living room represented her personality—a combination of easy-going tropical with an understated elegance. I thought I was going to tell her about Dakota, but instead I said, “Mike and I keep going around and around about having kids.”
She nodded. “It’s been six months, hasn’t it? Is Sandra ready?”
“Yeah. I don’t think I am.”
She laughed. “You’re never ready. Especially as you get older and you know more about being a parent.”
“You and Levi thinking of having more kids?”
“No. He has his girls, and I have Danny. Neither of us want to start over again.” She smiled. “He moved in last week, though.”
“Really? That’s good.” Levi had been keeping a condo in Waikiki even though he was spending more and more time at Terri’s house.
“Yeah, it is.” She shifted in her seat. “So where are you on the issue? Who wants what?”
“Mike wants to be a dad. I can see it every time he looks at or talks to a kid.”
“And you don’t?”
“It’s such a huge responsibility, you know? Even if Sandra and Cathy are going to be the primary parents. And I think Mike wants a baby for the wrong reasons.”
“He’s not some teenage girl who wants someone to love him,” Terri said. “He’s a grown man and he knows what he wants and why he wants it.” She looked at me. “Do you think this is something that would break you guys up?”
I crossed my arms and rubbed my biceps. “I hope not.”
“It should be a joint decision between the both of you. But what if Mike decides to go forward with Sandra. How would you feel about that?”
“Like what we have together isn’t enough for him.”
I didn’t mean to say that; it blurted out. But then, that’s me. Speak first and think later.
“Do you think you’d resent the baby, or the time Mike wanted to spend with him or her?”
“How can I predict that? People say that once you see a kid who belongs to you, everything changes. I don’t believe that.” I leaned forward. “I went to see this woman today, at WCCC. Her son has been coming to my gay teen group, and when I confronted her about him and his whereabouts, she didn’t seem to care.”
“You can’t base your decision on what some woman in prison says,” Terri said. “I’ve seen you with Danny, and with your nieces and nephews. You’re great with kids.”
“But then I can send them home,” I said.
“And how is that going to be different if Sandra and Cathy are raising this as yet conjectural baby?”
“Won’t it be different, if it’s my baby, or Mike’s?”
“You’re the only one who can say that.”
I sighed. “You haven’t been particularly helpful, you know that?”
Danny came running in. “Levi says to tell you that the burgers are ready.” We followed him outside, where his friends clustered around the grill as Levi dished out the food.
Terri and I loaded up our plates with Levi’s burgers and strips of red and green pepper from the grill, along with Waialua root beer and Terri’s homemade potato salad, and we sat at the picnic table with Mike. Levi joined us when he’d given out all the food. The kids sat on the ground beneath Danny’s ranger tower.
Mike speared a blackened pepper strip and asked, “So, Terri, what do you think we should do about Dakota?”
Terri looked at him. “Dakota?”
“Isn’t that what Kimo was talking to you about?” He looked at me.
“I never actually said his name.” I turned to Terri. “The kid I was telling you about, whose mom is in prison?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“He’s fourteen, and he ran away from the foster home where he was sent.”
The kids under the ranger tower started jumping around, and Levi got up to look after them.
“Mike and I found an abandoned warehouse out by Hickam Air Force Base, and it looks like Dakota might be staying there, maybe with some other kids,” I said.
“Did you call Child Welfare Services?”
“See, that’s what I said,” Mike said. “But Kimo didn’t want to. We think the kid might be turning tricks to survive. And who knows who else is staying with him at that warehouse.”
“But if Child Welfare picks him up they’re just going to ship him to another foster home,” I said. “Suppose he runs away from there, too?”
“Kimo, you can’t think like that,” Terri said. She took a deep breath. “Did I ever tell you that I went through the process to become a foster parent myself?”
I shook my head. “When was this?”
“Two years ago. Just before I met Levi. I knew that I needed something else in my life and I wasn’t sure what it was.” She leaned forward. “If you find this kid, I can ask to have him placed with me, at least temporarily. Then you’ll know he’s safe.”
“You don’t even know him,” I said.
“I know you both. And if you think he’s worth worrying about then I’ll take the risk on him.”
“Don’t you have to clear that with Danny and Levi?” I asked. I pointed at Mike. “I can’t even make dinner plans without asking Mr. Large and In Charge over there.”
“Danny would love an older brother, even if it’s only for a little while. And you know Levi. He has a huge heart.”
“Still, I’d feel better if you talked to them first,” I said.
She laughed. “I must be having some effect on you, after all these years.” She stood up. “I’ll be right back.”