CHAPTER 7

I was procrastinating.

The bus driver held the door open while everyone got off. I just stood on the top step, contemplating.

“If you don’t get off now, I’m closing the door, kid.”

I hopped down the steps and stood at the corner. Taking several breaths, I tried to force out the fake nonchalant persona I’d put on at school during the time when we had to move out of our house.

My feet carried me by reflex to Tristan’s house. I bypassed the front door and walked around the side of the house towards the garage.

There he was.

Unlocking the side door to the garage and looking around as if expecting someone. Probably me, since I was two hours later than usual. I’d also ditched meeting him at our designated spot, standing him up. He’d waited for me, apparently, because the messages to the hotels we’d stayed at were an hour or so after our meeting time. Not to mention, the cellphone I had was turned off since the day I the park, and I hadn’t answered any of his calls.

“Hey! Where you been?” Tristan waved me over while he opened the main garage door.

I forced a smile on my face. “Oh, running late. I’m sorry.” I rushed past and went straight to the tool area. I read the list of jobs that needed repairs on the dry erase board to know what tools to put out for him.

“Is everything okay? I missed you the last few days.”

“Fine, just some stuff at home.”

Tristan studied me with his eyes, and his shoulders dipped when he replied, “I already started on the van, but can’t get the computer to connect to the cellphone app. You can change the battery for me in the laptop over there.”

“Um,” I mumbled. Fighting not to look at him, I went about working on the laptop.

“This week things are going to slow down. I made some good money on the strip mall I that I finished.” Tristan continued while working, “I want to take you out to celebrate.”

My fingers stilled on the battery I was securing. I didn’t know whether to be more hurt or just plain angry at his offer.

“I’d rather not.” I cleared my throat to hide the sob that almost slipped from my lips. “ I just want to get as much work done as we can before school. Then find a job I can work around my class schedule.” I know it came out a bit harsh, but I breathed in deeply to calm down.

Tristan stopped tinkering with the television monitor he was working on. The room was silent it seemed, except for my breathing. I’d finished with the battery. I stayed bent over since I didn’t have the strength to be near him and not cry.

His hand rested on my shoulder. Tristan pulled with a subtle force to get me to stand. I did, but I wouldn’t face him. He rested his hands on my hips, lightly. He’d touched me like that now and then while we worked.

His breath was hot on my neck as he said, “I still need you here. You’re the best friend and worker I could ever ask for.”

I stiffened. His response was so different than yesterday. A surge of anger bubbled up in my chest. “I thought no one owned you. Well, you don’t own me, and I’m finding another job as soon as school starts.”

“Don’t. Please.” He turned me to face him.

Tristan’s eyebrows were dipped low. His jaw was slack. A tentative question flashed in his eyes, and he lowered his lips to mine.

The kiss Tristan gave me, called to me. I couldn’t help kiss him back, I’d wanted to for so long. His arms wrapped around me. It felt wonderful. Too good. The stupid love I felt for him rushed through me, no matter how hard I tried to push it down.

In that moment, the memory of his words hit me in the face. I pushed him away. “You don’t get to do that!”

Tristan stumbled back. His hand was visibly shaking. He raked a hand through his freshly cut shorter hair. “I’m sorry, Sorina. But this is driving me crazy.” Tristan put his hands in his pockets as if he was trying to stop himself from touching me again.

“What is? Me?”

“Yeah, you. I’ve wanted you for so long. Just for myself, but I didn’t want to push it since you’ve had so much going on with your family.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. I was trying to form some distance between the tumultuous desires running through me. I wanted to beg him to kiss me again and to slap his face.

“My family has nothing to do with how I feel. I know them and have dealt with what’s going on just fine. Besides, things are better now more than before.”

Tristan genuinely appeared concerned. “Really? What’s happened since I picked you up last month?”

I stepped back to lean on the car, just to put distance between us. Even though he was breaking my heart, he was still one of the only friends I had. He was good at compelling me to open up about my family. It was a relief since I didn’t have anyone else besides Phoebe to talk to.

“My father sent my mom a large check. When he left, he took a job as a day laborer that turned into a permanent opportunity working some charter boats for this rich guy. The manager for the company was only interested in single men since the work started that day and would require the workers to ship out for a year.”

“That’s good. I’m happy for you. But what does that mean for you and your mom?” Tristan followed my lead, it seemed. He leaned on the shelf, furthering his distance from me.

“We’re moving to an apartment near my aunt. My mom got a promotion to head of maid services at the hotel we were working at. Now with my father’s weekly contribution, Mom said she’s saving that towards renting a more permanent place.” Talking to him was relaxing me a bit. It took my mind off of how much my heart ached, and the hunger I had to repeat our recent kiss.

“Is your brother coming home too?” Tristan braced his hands on the shelf behind him.

“Not till next year, my aunt has a nanny that comes in to watch her kids and it helps my mom out since she doesn’t have to pay for childcare. My brother will be able to start full-time school next January, so my mom thought we should let him stay there – even though I offered to shorten my school day to watch him.”

“You were going to do that? You’re amazing.” Tristan’s deep voice was heavy with a flavor of respect.

“You’d do it for your family, right?”

He sighed. “I would. But sometimes the price you pay to make your family happy is too high, or unappreciated. My brother tests my generosity. Even more so lately.”

I frowned, realizing he never spoke much about his brother. “Weren’t you close at one time? That makes a difference, you know.”

“We were very close until that accident. After that, he seemed more reckless and angry with me, I guess. The months of pain and recovery he suffered was my fault, and he won’t let me forget it. As if I could.”

“Does he have scars?” I realized I’d never seen his brother. It seemed as though whenever I was there, his brother was never home.

“He was lucky. His face totally healed, but he has a scar low on his neck that he keeps covered with the style shirts he wears.” He exhaled. “I love him, he’s like the other half of me, but we don’t get along at all now.”

“Is that why he’s never home?”

“Probably. That and he’s got more girl groupies than any one guy deserves. He’s also a hopeful for several football scholarships. My mom really needs that help to get him through college.”

“What about you? Are you going to college with him?” I used to dream of going to college, but now that seemed impossible.

“Nah. I’m working on getting investors for the shop I want to open, and take classes at the Community College in business that I pay for myself. I’m not going to become another problem for my mother. She doesn’t deserve it after everything I’ve done.”

“What do you mean—your brother’s accident?”

Tristan shook his head. “No. Before that, I would’ve been considered the angry one of the family. I got in to trouble for numerous things before the incident with my brother. My mom had to deal with a lot of the anger I had at losing my dad. I started stealing, smoking, hanging out with the wrong crowd. If it weren’t for her, I’d probably be dead, or in jail.”

I frowned. “I would’ve never thought.”

“Most people wouldn’t who’ve met me in the last two years. Getting beat up, almost going to jail, and nearly killing your brother, smacks a person into growing up.”

“What did you do to make better choices?” I wanted to know so I could figure out why my father was a grown man and never tried to make better choices.

“I found a passion. Something to keep me busy that made me want to do it more than the other form of satisfaction or attention.”

“Is it hard? Do you ever look back?”

“Yeah, it’s hard everyday. I look back because it’s all around me. The same friends come by to see if I’m trying to get back in the game. My brother, constantly taunting me with all the girls he’s messing with. It used to be something we’d done together.” Tristan sighed, “I’m just trying to focus on keeping my eye on the prize. And the day when I know I’ve earned back my mother’s trust – even my brother’s.”

My heart drummed at his words. He’d been through so much. Maybe it was why he wasn’t interested in a relationship with me.

“I’m sorry.” I reached out to touch him.

Tristan grasped my hand, and tugged me to him. “Don’t be. Things are so much better now that you’re here.” His lips touched mine again.

This time I didn’t hold back. I wrapped my arms around his neck as Tristan secured me closer. The tingling of his embrace kept me there until he deepened the kiss, and gradually removed his soft lips from mine.

I didn’t have the strength to look at him, so I laid my head on his chest.

His phone rang.

I jumped out of my daze, as he eased backwards.

Tristan frowned and tilted the phone away from his face. “I have to take this call and get something from the house. Do you mind clearing up so we can work on the next car?”

“Sure.” I watched him leave; his shoulders were tense like he was aggravated. Once the door shut, I went about cleaning.

Time ticked away while I finished. I started on the next tablet computer that had to be customized. I’d finished it and realized I couldn’t fix the next one on my own. I checked the clock on my phone. Tristan had been gone over an hour.

Sighing, I headed for the door. The walk out of the garage and on the scattered flat bricks was quiet. Then I heard a giggle. More slurping and a soft moan floated just around the bend, leading to the front of the house.

“Tristan, I love the way you kiss me right there,” a female’s husky moan, then giggle, tickled my ears.

“If you like that, then you’ll love this,” responded a voice sounding distinctly like Tristan’s when he kissed me.

I stopped short.

“Tristan, oh Tristan,” the girl chanted.

My tongue stuck at the roof of my mouth as I spied Tristan – my Tristan, kissing a blonde haired girl at the foot of the stairs leading to the house.

My jaw slacked as tear after tear leaked from my eyes. I couldn’t get my eyes unglued from the scene.

A door opened, and in slow motion it seemed someone called my name. Over and over like a chant.

Air pounded my chest. I couldn’t breath as my gaze traveled up to the person at the door. Tristan again? A double? Two Tristans?

“No!” I stumbled back two steps. Then I bolted. Ran. My heart pounded in my chest as I ran, kept running.

There couldn’t be two of them. Twins?

A fool. I was such a fool. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

“Wait! Stop! Sorina. Please stop.” Feet pounded behind me. Whose? I didn’t know. For all I knew, there was no one named Tristan.

“Leave…me…alone,” I shouted through labored breaths.

“Listen to me!”

Strong hands grasped my shoulders, pushing me forward, making me lurch into the grass at the neighborhood park. I hadn’t even noticed where I’d run. Everything had been a blur. Then his – Tristan’s – face appeared above me. His chest covered my shoulder as he stared down at me.

“I’m Tristan. My brother, Tatum is who you saw kissing that girl. It wasn’t me. He just – sometimes, he thinks it’s funny to use my name when he meets a girl.”

My heart thundered in my chest. I knew, just knew he wasn’t telling me everything. “Why didn’t you tell me you had a twin?” I narrowed my eyes. I tried to fight off the trembling through my limbs.

“You met him the first day at the park. It was him you spent the day with. ” Tristan swallowed, his eyes glancing a way. “But I wanted you. I saw you first and pointed you out to him.”

“You? I don’t get it. I was a joke? Like that girl back there?” I tensed and pushed him off me. Standing, on wobbly feet, I staggered.

He followed, eyeing me as if he expected me to bolt again. “No. I don’t play those games any more. At least, I didn’t mean to. That day, he had his girlfriend with him. Tatum wanted to break it off with her. So he disappeared, leaving her with me. We searched the entire park for him.”

“I see things clearly now. Tatum saw you, but you were hugging her. I remember. I’m not stupid. Even though you and your brother played me like a fool.” I placed my hands on my hips. Exhaling, I clenched my teeth together.

“No! She saw him with you, and he was kissing you. She started to cry and then turned to me and hugged me. One of my cousins drove her home.”

“But you were the one who came back to see me after that, right? Even though, you knew Tatum was kissing me – pretending to be you?”

“Yeah, and when I said my name I thought you’d know you weren’t with Tatum, but I figured out he’d given you my name instead. I didn’t want to make you angry or ruin my chances to get to know you.”

“Get to know me? What exactly is the game you two are playing? He gets to kiss me up – then you are next?” I stepped back from him. “You still didn’t come clean? Why not tell me later—before something like this happened?” I sniffed wayward tears, and angrily wiped them away with the back of my hand. “I thought you were my friend…I thought…” my mouth couldn’t form into words the emotional tornado in my chest.

“I was scared you really wanted him. I wanted to give you a chance to get to know me. I planned on telling you when I took you out to celebrate.”

My heart was breaking. I felt so used. Raw. “I don’t want anything to do with you or your brother. Leave me alone.” I spun around, spotted a nearby bus stop and headed in that direction.

Tristan grabbed my arm, and turned me around. “I love you. Please give me a chance to make it up to you.”

I jerked my arm from him. “Love me? Not! I’ve spent years watching my father tell my mother he loved her, yet keep secrets from her that hurt us all. I will not repeat my parents’ life. The guy for me will be honest with me – about everything!”

“I will be.” His voice croaked.

“You weren’t. And I don’t have the strength to deal with you or your messed-up brother right now. My life is hard enough. Just do me a favor and leave me alone.”

With that, I turned and ran towards the bus. The pounding of my feet against the cement assured me I’d put some distance between us. Thankfully, the door flew open as soon as I got there. So, I plopped in a seat, crossed my arms in front of me to hold myself together. I just tried to hold it all in, so I wouldn’t start sobbing like I wanted to.

Unable to help myself, I glanced out the window, to see Tristan standing there, watching my bus pull off.