CHAPTER 9

I sat on the bench in front of the store. Thinking. Dreaming of Tristan. Calling myself all kinds of idiots for even taking the time to talk to him. The fear of falling for him all over again taunted me. Not to mention the possibility of being dumped and laughed at by his brother for being suckered into another one of their games was a real bummer. My heart still felt so ripped, and the pain of that day, the weeks I spent crying over my stupidity did me over.

Within a few minutes, the object of my sad fantasies pulled up in a blue Taurus. He hopped out the driver’s seat, gave me a cautious smile, and opened the door. “Thanks for coming with me.”

I suppressed my smile. “No problem.” I plopped on the leather seat.

He pulled the car out of the lot, without a word.

While he drove, I stole glimpses of him. No guy should be this gorgeous. I loved the longer, wavy hair; my fingers itched to dig into it and pull him close for a kiss. His friendship, and the warmth being with him gave me was an echo in my thoughts. Something I missed, but was too afraid to consider the consequences of gaining it – only to lose it again.

We came to a stoplight, and he glanced my way. I returned his inspection with a roll of my eyes, while crossing of my arms in front of me. No way was I letting him in. My heart was shriveled up so I’d barely been able to let my dad back in.

Just like Tristan, my father had started contacting my mom every night. And each night, he’d begged her to let him talk to me. I finally took the phone, but I barely had two words for him. However, the times I did, I felt the relief and joy in his voice. I’d have to say that my weak heart was even starting to pulse again when my father called.

“Here we are,” Tristan’s deep voice commented as he pulled alongside his home. Not to the garage, but on the side of the house near the steps on the gravel driveway.

I frowned. “I’m not trying to talk to your brother again.”

His jaw dropped a bit and his eyebrow creased. “Again?”

“Never mind. Why did you bring me here?”

“So we can be alone. No one’s home and I’d like to show you the inside of the house. I should’ve done it before now, but we were always so busy. I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“I don’t know about being alone with you now.”

“I’ve never set out to hurt you, Sorina. Please stop trying to hurt me. I just want to be able to sit down and talk without interruption. If you want to leave, I will take you home. I promise.”

“Fine.”

He nodded and got out the car, heading to my door to open it. Instead, I opened it before he got there and closed it.

“You could’ve let me do that for you,” he said quietly, almost regretfully.

“I don’t need you to do anything for me. I just want to get this talk over with so I can have…closure.” Thanks to Phoebe I had a good word to toss at him.

He led me up the cement stairs to the good-sized porch decorated with various potted plants. There were a mix of potted plants that sat on patio chairs. The blooms from various colorful flowers were in glass vases that held the freshly cut arrangements and sat at the foot of each chair. The floor of the porch was cracked in many places, but the area smelled nice, welcoming really.

“Do you want something to drink?” Tristan peeked over his shoulder at me while he opened the redwood door.

“No.” Then, I walked over the threshold into the warm home. The entryway had an arched ceiling and earth colored tiled floors.

Tristan turned towards me. “Can I take your stuff?”

I lifted an eyebrow at him. My heart fluttered at the slight desperation I captured in his on his face. The kind you have when you see chocolate and you can’t have any. The look of someone starved. I inhaled and stepped back, not able to force myself to keep up the angry exterior. So, I handed him my purse and jacket.

Our fingers brushed and static shock mingled with the slight touch. I whimpered.

He licked his lips, as if forcing himself to restrain the desire to kiss me. Tristan quickly pivoted away to the closet door ahead of him to stuff our jackets inside.

“You can go to the family room. It’s in the back and next to the kitchen. I’ll get us something to drink.”

He walked ahead of me, his long legs eating up the wood floors as I hurried behind him. The living and dining rooms on either side of the hallway were well appointed with large, comfy furniture that made you want to stop and fall down into the many cushions.

The family room was huge, with multiple couches of different colors. It worked well with the artful pictures hanging on the wall and the flat screen TV that played some classical music video with muted sound.

The hairs on my neck tickled me. Tristan’s warm, minty breath caressed my ear as he reached around me. “Lemonade. Your favorite.”

I swallowed and placed the drink to my lips. Then, I headed a safe distance away from him to the chair nearest the fireplace, just under the TV. I took another gulp prior to lifting my eyes to his.

He’d followed me, and stood right in front of my jeaned bent knees. Tristan almost acted as if he didn’t know what to say.

“Thanks again for coming over to hear me out.”

I nodded, afraid my voice would come out needy. However, I wanted to hear what he needed to share with me.

“I don’t know where to begin.” He raked a hand through is wavy mess of a hair. “At the beginning of the summer, things weren’t going to well between Tatum and me.”

“You don’t say?” I smirked.

“He’d tried everything to get under my skin. To make me angry at him.” Tristan sat on the arm of the couch next to my chair. He took the empty cup from my hand that I’d been using as a shield. His eyes never left mine. Tristan placed the cup on the floor. Hesitantly, he interlaced his fingers with mine.

It felt heavenly, so much so, that I hadn’t realized my fingers tightened the bond between our hands.

“The day in the park, he’d been goading me about moving on after my last girlfriend. When I’d been in trouble with the law, I’d focused on getting myself straight, not on landing a date or a hookup. I didn’t want to play the games Tatum and I used to play on the girls he liked.”

“So you and he played the twin switch-a-roo tons of times?” I exhaled loudly, “just for fun?”

He sighed, bit his bottom lip. “I hate to admit it, but yeah. We did.”

“I guess I was just another joke, right?”

Tristan shook his head. “Never. Not to me. The moment I saw you, I wanted to be with you. I didn’t say a word about you to Tatum initially, but he knew the look. He saw me staring you down, and he switched the tables on me.”

“You were in no way involved in what Tatum did with me that day. Tatum told me it was his idea. A joke he played on you.”

Tristan tightened his lips into a thin line, then cleared his throat. “You were never a game or a joke to me. But when I saw Tatum kissing you…I wanted to punch him out where he stood. Not only that, but his girlfriend—she’d been friends with us since middle school. She loved Tatum, even with his cheating. However, he’d just ripped her heart out for the last time, then left me standing there to pick up the pieces.”

“Wow, he’s a real charmer.” The scene played out in my mind and I felt horrible for Tatum’s cast-off girlfriend. Tristan’s brother was trouble.

“Yeah, well, the bastard didn’t care about her or me. I wonder if he’ll ever be able to care about anyone. But he’s not my issue any more. The only thing I want more than anything now is to win you back.”

I sighed and extracted my hand from his. “Back to what? I wasn’t anything special to you. We weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend. I just worked in your shop fixing and building computers for all that time and all you did was play a personal tug of war with me. I considered you a friend.”

“I was afraid to come clean and tell you how I felt. I knew that meant, telling you everything. With doing that, I’d thought I had a big chance of losing you. I wasn’t ready for that yet.”

“I don’t know how I would’ve reacted. I just knew I cared about you.”

Before I could stop him, he leaned forward and kissed me. The hungry kiss of a person who was so wanting they couldn’t help themselves. And I kissed him back with all that I had. Nothing in me had been strong enough to push him away. He lifted me out my chair and into his arms. Tristan deepened his kiss, and held me so close I felt every breath. His and mine had become one. Slowly and almost regretfully, I felt his lips pull away. My fingers squeezed his shirt, reflectively, fighting for him to stay.

I moved my head from side to side, dazed, as I opened my eyes to his staring at me.

“I love you. You were always more than a friend to me.” His hoarse confession came out like a plea.

It was on the tip of my tongue to admit my love too. But I couldn’t let this go any further.

“You crushed me. My heart still feels ripped out. I-I can’t do this. I can’t make another mistake when I’m finally learning to stand on my own two feet. I’m beginning to trust in myself again. Do you know how many nights I cried because I lost you? Do you know how hard it was for me searching out a new job when working with you was my first? And I lived—breathed—to be alongside you everyday?”

“I’m sorry, so sorry. I want to prove to you this could work. That you are the only one I want – no games. Just me.”

“I want to believe you, but I’m just not ready to take the risk. I’ve got too much at stake. My own self-dignity. Me, being able to rebuild my life on my own.” I stood and stumbled toward the door. I had to get out. Get away from him before I begged him to be mine.

My hands groped around in the dark closet for my jacket and purse.

Tristan’s hands came to rest on my waist, his chin on my shoulder. “Give me a chance to be your friend again. I’ll take anything. Any time you’ll give me.”

I nodded, not wanting to hurt him, or deny myself of his presence in my life again.