ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
This book was written amidst the thrilling terror of book launches and the chaos of moving house, out on submission during a period of terrible health, bought on the same day as the most awful news was broken to me, edited while grieving and published while finding a way back to the world.
I doubt I could have survived all of that—let alone find myself here, writing this—without the constant and loving support of my husband and countless cuddles from my son, who understands the value of such things. You are both pillars of strength for me. Thank you.
Thanks also to my friends Gareth L. Powell, for reassuring me that the book would find a home when I needed to hear that most, and Adam Christopher, for keeping me sane in this writerly life. Well, saner than I would have been without him.
Thanks to my agent, Jennifer Udden of DMLA, who has seen me through the worst year of my life and sent me the best GIFs at the best times.
Thanks to Rebecca Brewer, my editor at Ace/Roc, who has perfectly understood what I was aiming for in this book and given me some much-needed confidence again.
I would also like to thank Dr. Rachel Armstrong for speaking at the Clarke Awards in 2013 and inspiring several ideas that found their way onto these pages. Your speech gave me hope that there are still amazing people out there doing amazing things for the benefit of humanity.
To anyone who, like me, suffers from an anxiety disorder, I want to say this: It is hard. You are brilliant. Be kind to yourself. As my late best friend, Kate, said to me once, “Treat yourself like you would treat me.” She was wise, so please, treat yourself with the same love and kindness you devote to your best friend.
And that brings me, last but not least, to Kate. Oh, I miss you, darling. Thank you for giving me all you did, loving me so deeply and believing in me so much. This book, and all the books I will ever write, is for you.