Virtually Bullied to Death

On January 14, 2010, 12-year-old Lauren Prince came home from school as usual and went to see what her older sister was doing. As Lauren entered her apartment building, she stopped and stared. What she saw in the hallway took her breath away: Her sister, Phoebe, still dressed in her school clothes, was hanging in the stairwell. Wrapped around Phoebe’s neck was the scarf Lauren had given her for Christmas just a few weeks ago.

Six months earlier, in the summer of 2009, Phoebe Prince and her family moved to South Hadley, Massachusetts. Phoebe was now a vibrant 15-year-old with a contagious laugh and a captivating smile. Her mother, Annie O’Brien Prince, had left County Clare, Ireland, to start a new life with her family in America, bringing with her two of her daughters, Lauren and Phoebe. Annie’s husband, Jeremy Prince, remained in Ireland with the couple’s three other children in order to sell the house. Annie had some relatives in South Hadley, a town with a growing Irish population, and she considered the community to be a home away from home. She and Jeremy looked forward to reuniting their close-knit family as soon as possible.

Phoebe was excited when she started her freshman year at South Hadley High School in September 2009. With her striking good looks and lilting Irish accent, it didn’t take her long to win the hearts of just about everyone at school, especially the boys. By December, she was dating Sean Mulveyhill, 17, a star football player and one of the most popular boys in school. Many of the girls were openly jealous of Phoebe, and several began taunting her in the school hallways, calling her an “Irish whore.” Though Phoebe did her best to take the high road and ignore the insults, it wasn’t easy.

Mulveyhill and Phoebe dated for a short time before he got back together with his former girlfriend, Kayla Narey. A few weeks later, Phoebe started dating another football player, 18-year-old Austin Renaud, who was involved at the time with Flannery Mullins, age 16. Upset by all the attention Phoebe was getting, Narey and Mullins teamed up with some mutual friends to teach the new girl a lesson.

The bullying was subtle at first, but it soon escalated. Messages claiming that Phoebe was out to steal everyone’s boyfriends began appearing on Facebook, along with a comment that she should just kill herself. Phoebe was roughed up in the hallways, shoved into lockers, and pushed around in the girls’ restroom. As she walked to and from her classes, some of the girls whispered insults; others simply pointed an accusing finger at her without saying a word. Text messages on Phoebe’s cell phone wielded more insults, and a photo of her was posted on a school wall accompanied by an obscene comment. By the time faculty removed the photo, Phoebe had already seen it and the damage was done. On one occasion, a teacher found Phoebe crying, and though she tried to talk to her, she remembers the girl as inconsolable.

Phoebe endured brutal insults, from “I hate stupid sluts” echoing in the hallway to “Why don’t you just open up your legs?” shouted in the school auditorium during assembly. One girl yelled at Phoebe in the school cafeteria, calling her a “ho” and accusing her of stealing Mulveyhill away from Narey. Mulveyhill joined in, further fueling the verbal abuse Phoebe was experiencing both online and off.

Annie complained to school officials in early January, but they did nothing. On January 14, Phoebe asked for permission to leave school early because, as she told one of her friends, she had been threatened with being beaten up after school. Faculty denied her request.

When Phoebe came home from school that day, something snapped. The 911 call from Phoebe’s family was made at 4:40 PM. According to South Hadley police chief David J. Labrie, “They discovered a teenage girl who appeared to have taken her own life.”

As a dozen police cars pulled up to the house in South Hadley, Annie was crying hysterically. At the time, no one outside the school could imagine such a tragic end for a vibrant young woman with a bright future ahead of her.

On January 22, 2010, this obituary appeared in The Republican newspaper:

Phoebe Nora Mary Prince
1994–2010 SOUTH HADLEY

Our beloved daughter Phoebe Nora Mary Prince died tragically on Thursday, January 14, 2010. Phoebe was gifted with exceptional beauty—but that is not important. She was gifted with a sharp and creative brain—but that is not important. She had impressive artistic talent—but that is not important. What her family and friends from both sides of the Atlantic grieve in is the loss of the incandescent enthusiasm of a life blossoming. Phoebe was born in Bedford, England, on Thursday, 24 November, 1994. At the age of two she moved to County Clare, Ireland, where she enjoyed life with an energy only the young possess. At age 14 the family moved to South Hadley, MA, so that Phoebe could experience America and be near family, especially her Uncle John, Auntie Eileen, and cousins Brendan and Molly. Here she touched many lives with her Irish mannerisms and sense of humor. Phoebe will forever live in the hearts of her many friends here in America and Ireland, in particular her dearest friend Cliodhna, from Doolin, County Clare. Phoebe leaves behind her mother Anne Obrien Prince, father Jeremy Prince, sisters Lauren, Tessa and Bridget and brother Simon. Private services and Mass were held January 18 in South Hadley. Additional services will be held in Ireland. A memorial scholarship will be created in Phoebe’s name. At this time the family asks that any donations be sent to the Phoebe Prince Scholarship Fund at Peoples Bank, 494 Newton Street, South Hadley, MA 01075. “Go gcoinni Dia i mbos a laimhe thu” (“Appointments to God in his hands”).

The school posted a notice on its website explaining that a freshman student had taken her life. While no reason for the suicide was given, a number of students were well aware of the tragic circumstances, and someone posted the word “accomplished” on Facebook the night of Phoebe’s death. When another student posted that the comment was in poor taste, she was told, “[Y]ou’d better watch your back.”

Talk centered around Phoebe for weeks. A student named Sharon Velazquez, 16, was overheard saying she “wasn’t the only person that caused Prince’s death and that she didn’t care that she was dead.” Yet another student posted a message about Phoebe on Facebook: “She brought it on herself.” Similar posts appeared on other profiles and webpages but were quickly removed.

Gus Sayer, then-superintendent of South Hadley Public Schools, went on record as saying, “Bullying is not tolerated at this school,” though he would later admit that bullying played a big part in Phoebe’s suicide.

One week after Phoebe’s death, then-principal Dan Smith sent a letter to parents explaining that the bullying Phoebe endured had been relationship-related. He claimed that staff took action and “both counseled and provided consequences as the situations required.”

“These disagreements centered on relationship-dating issues, a rather common event among high school students,” Smith wrote. “Because of the aforementioned disagreements, some students (to be confirmed through investigations) made mean-spirited comments to Phoebe in school and on the way home from school, but also through texting and social networking websites. This insidious, harassing behavior knows no bounds. The key is how each of us deals with that anger—finding ways to resolve or accept differences of opinion instead of engaging in the insidious behavior of demeaning others.”

Many parents in the small community of 17,000 found Smith’s letter to be too little too late. Town and school meetings took place; townspeople and parents were angry. Accusing fingers were pointed in every direction, and once the media was involved, Phoebe’s suicide soon became fodder for international headlines. Celebrities including Bill Cosby and Khloe Kardashian shared their thoughts publicly.

In an interview on Larry King Live on CNN, Cosby said, “I don’t know if ‘shocked’ is the word as … as much as I just did not believe. I don’t believe that you can take a job as a teacher, as a superintendent, as a principal and … and not recognize, when you’re being told by parents (about bullying).”

“The difference is that today these kids are given so many different outlets to bully,” Kardashian wrote on her website. “When I was a child and being teased, we didn’t have Twitter, Facebook, or Myspace, so bullying only went on during school hours. Now kids go to school and are tortured, and they come home and still have to deal with it online—there’s no escape.”

In response to the public outcry, Facebook took action, initiating a 24-hour police hotline, an education and awareness campaign, and a redesigned abuse reporting system, as well as changes to its privacy settings. Many people have urged Facebook to add a panic button for teens to push to report bullies, and the company responded in 2012 by changing the way bullying posts or profiles are reported. Teens can now click on “This post is a problem” and answer a series of simple questions to properly address the situation. There are also links teens can click on if they feel suicidal, which lead to a Facebook suicide hotline and professionals who can help.

In late March 2010, Massachusetts legislators voted a groundbreaking anti-bullying bill into law. The legislation makes bullying illegal at schools, on school buses, and through electronic devices such as mobile phones, email, and internet social networking sites. It outlaws retaliation against people who report bullying to authorities and requires training for teachers and school staff. The law came too late for Phoebe, but it holds promise in protecting other young victims.

In April 2010, school authorities released some essays Phoebe had completed as class assignments; in them, she shared the anguish she’d endured before taking her own life.

In a book report about the book Cutting, written by psychotherapist Steven Levenkron, Phoebe wrote, “This book I really connected with as I found there was truth in every word. … It helped me comprehend what people close to me have gone through. Self-mutilation is about trying to transfer the pain from emotional to physical.”

In another essay titled “Mind Over Matter,” Phoebe wrote, “Where have today’s values gone? We live in an impersonal electronic society … Now that we have Twitter and Facebook.”

A Facebook group, R.I.P Phoebe Prince, was created in memory of Phoebe. More than 18,000 people have joined the group to date, and other similar forums have been created on Facebook and also on Myspace. The media has increasingly been highlighting the dangers of bullying, including cyberbullying, and states have begun enacting tough new laws. Middle and high schools now regularly offer students and parents advice from experts, much of it geared to recognizing the signs of bullying, letting kids know it’s okay to speak out, identifying places they can turn to, and teaching them how to keep it from escalating.

David Hall, PhD, has developed a 99-cent iPhone application called “Bully Shield.” “There are right things and wrong things that parents can do to help their children when they are being bullied,” says Hall. “Bully Shield is for kids being bullied, family members who care about them, teachers, and school administrators. Bully Shield provides research-based solutions that will reduce the chance your kid is bullied and give you concrete steps to take if your child is being bullied.”

Six individuals accused of contributing to Phoebe’s death were formally indicted on March 29, 2010. All pled not guilty to the initial charges, and all were expelled from South Hadley High School. The trial concluded May 5, 2011, when five of the six accepted a plea deal. The exception was Renaud, for whom all charges were dropped at the request of Phoebe’s parents. The defendants and charges were as follows:

• Mulveyhill and Narey were 17 at the time of the crime and charged as adults. Both were charged with violation of civil rights resulting in bodily injury, criminal harassment, and disturbing a school assembly; Mulveyhill was also charged with statutory rape. Both pled guilty to a misdemeanor charge of criminal harassment and were sentenced to a year of probation and ordered to perform 100 hours of community service; the other charges were dropped. While the harassment charge against Narey was dropped after completion of probation in 2012, the misdemeanor against Mulveyhill will remain on his criminal record.
• Ashley Longe (who was determined to be Phoebe’s primary tormentor by the judge), Mullins, and Velazquez were all 16 at the time of the crime and therefore charged as juveniles. All three were charged with criminal harassment, civil rights violations resulting in bodily injury, and disturbing a school assembly; Longe was also charged with assault, and Mullins and Velazquez with stalking. All “admitted to sufficient facts” on misdemeanor charges of harassment, violating civil rights (absent the bodily injury), and disturbing a school assembly; the other charges were dropped. Each received a year of probation and was ordered to perform community service (50 hours for Velazquez; 100 hours for Longe and Mullins). The terms of probation were satisfied, and the charge against each was dismissed without criminal record.
• Renaud, 18, was charged with statutory rape, but the charge was later dropped at the request of Phoebe’s family.

Unfortunately, even with all the recent attention, cases such as Phoebe’s are far from rare. Carla Carey, of Foxboro, Massachusetts, recently told People magazine, “My daughter said things like, ‘I can’t go on,’ and ‘Nobody will help me and nobody can help me.’” After reading about what happened to Phoebe, Carey found help for her daughter. “I learned the warning signs,” she said. “Phoebe Prince’s suicide saved my daughter’s life.”

***

In another case that received widespread media coverage, 13-year-old Megan Meier of Missouri killed herself in 2006 after a boy she met on Myspace first befriended her and then cruelly taunted her. The “boy” was actually Lori Drew, an adult woman who sought retribution after Megan broke off a friendship with Drew’s daughter. Shockingly, Drew knew Megan had issues with depression. In the last message she sent her under the guise she’d created, Drew said, “You are a bad person and everybody hates you … The world would be a better place without you.”

Three weeks before her 14th birthday, Megan wrapped a belt around her neck and hanged herself in her bedroom closet.

On May 15, 2008, Drew was indicted by the Grand Jury of the U.S. District Court on four counts: The first was an allegation of conspiracy, that sometime in September 2006 through October 16, 2006, Drew and her co-conspirators intentionally accessed a computer used in interstate commerce “without authorization,” in “excess of authorized use,” and used interstate communication to obtain information from the computer in order to inflict emotional distress. The other three counts alleged that on September 20 and 26, and October 16, 2006, Drew accessed Myspace to obtain information regarding Megan, in breach of the Myspace Terms of Service.

On May 16, the state of Missouri passed Senate Bill 818, also known as the Megan Meier Bill, in order to provide “additional protections for Missouri children and adults from being harassed or stalked over the Internet or through other communication devices.” It became effective August 28, 2008.

On November 26, 2008, the jury deadlocked on the first count and found Drew guilty of a misdemeanor violation of the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act but not guilty on the other three counts. A judge later dismissed the misdemeanor charge.

Some lawmakers, including Rep. Linda Sanchez (D-Calif.), sought increased protection on April 2, 2009, making the Megan Meier Cyberbullying Prevention Act, H.R. 1966, a federal law. It remains in limbo due to controversy over the broad wording, which includes criminalizing any online communication done “with the intent to coerce, intimidate, harass, or cause substantial emotional distress to a person.”

Megan’s mother, Tina, launched a website for the Megan Meier Foundation in December 2007. Today, she travels around the country talking about what happened to her daughter, trying to raise awareness of the cyberbullying problem.

***

South Hadley High School now addresses bullying in several places in its Student Handbook, including the following:

• Pages 43–44: Bullying is identified as a “Group C” behavior; minimum consequences include a parent conference, police involvement, and external suspension. Excerpt: “Consequence: Minimum – parent conference and police involvement; risk assessment; after-school education programs as appropriate, external suspension from school. Additional action – Long-term suspension from school, mandated counseling, initiation of expulsion procedures, criminal action, or other administrative actions as required, internal suspension if available, community/school service as applicable if mutually agreed upon.”
• Page 56: Bullying is defined as “a negative and often aggressive or manipulative act or series of acts by one or more people against another person or people usually over a period of time. It is abusive and is based on an imbalance of power.”

There is also a section called “Types of Bullying,” which defines physical, nonphysical, and verbal acts of bullying but does not specifically address cyberbullying or the use of the internet or electronic devices to bully. However, page 57 refers to a Massachusetts law, Chapter 265: An Act Relative to the Crime of Criminal Harassment, Section 43A. Here’s an excerpt:

Whoever willfully and maliciously engages in a knowing pattern of conduct or series of acts over a period of time directed at a specific person, which seriously alarms that person and would cause a reasonable person to suffer substantial emotional distress, shall be guilty of the crime of criminal harassment and shall be punished by imprisonment in a house of correction for not more than two and one-half years or by a fine of not more than $1000.00 or by both such fine and imprisonment. Such conduct or acts described in this paragraph shall include, but not be limited to, conduct or acts conducted by mail or by use of a telephonic or telecommunication device including, but not limited to, electronic mail, internet communications, or facsimile communications.

While progress is clearly being made, it’s terribly sad that it’s taken the deaths of children like Phoebe and Megan to finally get effective anti-bullying legislation on the books.

Defendants accused of driving Phoebe Prince to suicide through cyberbullying: [Top row, from left] Ashley Longe, Flannery Mullins, Sharon Velazquez; [Bottom row, from left] Kayla Narey, Sean Mulveyhill, Austin Renaud [©2011 The Republican Company. All rights reserved. Reprinted with permission.]

 

Phoebe Prince’s mother, Anne O’Brien, delivers an impact statement in court [©2011 The Republican Company. All rights reserved. Reprinted with permission.]

 

Phoebe Prince, whose suicide received international attention [Undated family photo]

 

Megan Meier, who was tormented by someone she thought was a peer but turned out to be the mother of a former friend [Courtesy of the Megan Meier Foundation, www.meganmeierfoundation]