Esther peered out the window, then held both hands to her chest when Lizzie walked out of the barn grinning like she’d won a prize. Her sister gave her a thumbs-up as she paraded her way to the house. Amos must have agreed to talk to Naomi. Esther scurried to the door and tugged it open, pushing the screen wide so Lizzie could come in.
“He’s going to talk to her.” Lizzie bounced up on her toes after she’d crossed the threshold and Esther had closed the door. Esther wished she was as nimble as her much smaller and energetic sister. Maybe she would be when she found out what was wrong with her and got it taken care of. She forced away thoughts about her health since it always wrapped her in a blanket of fear.
Esther stepped closer to her sister and tipped her head to one side. “Have you been crying?” She raised her chin. “What exactly did you say to that boy?” Lifting an eyebrow, she said, “I hope you didn’t lie.”
“Ya, I have been crying. I’m upset about the way I talked to Naomi.” She squeezed her eyes closed and flinched before she looked back at Esther. “Maybe I poured it on a little thick, but I didn’t lie. Naomi doesn’t want to talk to either of us.”
“We haven’t gone upstairs and tried yet.” Esther had agreed to Lizzie’s plan of asking if Amos would talk to Naomi. It seemed a good way to kill two birds with one stone. Hopefully he could smooth things over where Lizzie was concerned, since she had gone too far this morning. And it couldn’t hurt for the two for them to spend a little alone time together and talk.
Lizzie waved a dismissive hand at Esther. “It doesn’t matter. The boy said he will talk to her.” She put a finger to her lips when they heard the barn door shut. Esther made a mental note to ask Amos if he could adjust the old door so it didn’t slam so hard.
She felt a little sorry for Amos when he walked into the living room. He was fidgeting with his hands, and his expression reminded her of someone about to walk the plank on a ship.
“Is now a gut time?” Amos took off his hat and clutched the rim.
Lizzie pulled out a tissue and dabbed at her eyes, and Esther fought the urge to roll her eyes since Lizzie hadn’t shed a tear since she’d walked in the house.
“Ya, I think the sooner the better.” Lizzie lowered her head, sniffling.
Esther believed Lizzie was regretful about being so hard on Naomi and knew the tears she’d shed earlier were probably real. But she also believed her sister had been correct about pouring it on a little thick. Either way, Amos walked to the stairs.
“In our day it wouldn’t be proper for a man to go into a young woman’s bedroom,” Esther said when Amos was out of earshot. “But I trust Naomi. And strangely, I trust Amos too.” Esther had never trusted Thomas. Something about him had always bothered her, even though she hadn’t been able to put her finger on it.
She said a silent prayer that, at the very least, Amos would be able to lift Naomi’s spirits and that she would be forgiving when it came to Lizzie. She couldn’t help also asking the Lord to maybe give them a little push toward something more than friendship, if it was His will.
* * *
Naomi was still crying when there was a knock at her bedroom door. “Can we please talk later?”
“Uh, it’s me.”
She sat up and swiped at her eyes. “Now isn’t a gut time, Amos.” She tried unsuccessfully to control the shakiness in her voice.
“Are you decent? I’m coming in.”
A conversation with Amos was the last thing she wanted or needed, but before she could object, he opened the door and left it ajar as he entered her bedroom.
“I’m fine. I really am,” she said through her tears as she reached for a tissue on her bedside table. “Lizzie and I had words, and . . .” She paused, sniffling. “Did she send you up here?”
Amos took off his hat, held it in front of him, and nervously turned it in circles. Naomi was sure this wasn’t his idea.
“It doesn’t matter if she did or not. Can I stay for a few minutes?” He sat in the rocking chair, still clutching his hat with both hands, before she could respond. “Lizzie and Esther love you. They’re just worried about you.”
This was proof enough that Lizzie had told Amos what happened, and she’d likely prodded him to do her bidding. “I love them, too, but they aren’t happy that Thomas returned. They’re convinced he will leave again.” She avoided the intensity of his gaze, feeling like she’d shared too much already.
“What do you think?” His voice was so tender that Naomi wanted to run into his arms, mostly because she needed a friend and a hug.
She couldn’t look at him. Lizzie’s remarks had hit her hard and caused her to think about things she hadn’t wanted to face. Finally, she looked at Amos.
“I think he got cold feet about getting married. I think he spent time with another woman and then realized he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I owe us a second chance at love.” She paused, dabbing at another tear that escaped down her cheek. “I just want someone to be happy for me.”
* * *
Amos took a deep breath. If she didn’t stop crying, he was going to have to go sit by her on the bed and hug her. She was breaking his heart in a whole new way. “I’m happy for you.” It wasn’t exactly a lie, but it wasn’t completely truthful either.
She locked eyes with him and held his gaze for a long time. “Amos, you almost kissed me.”
He nodded. “Ya, I did. I think you are a beautiful woman, and despite mei desire not to get involved with anyone, I like you. I surprised myself.” Now he was telling the truth. “But things have changed, and I know that.” He scratched his head. “I tried to put myself in your shoes and picture how I would feel if Sarah showed up the way Thomas did. I know that’s not possible, but after thinking about it, I know I would have run to her without hesitation.”
“But she didn’t leave you voluntarily.” Naomi’s bottom lip trembled as she spoke.
As memories of Sarah flooded his mind, he reminded himself that he was here for Naomi. “Nee, she didn’t. But I do believe in second chances.” It was true, although he had doubts about Thomas staying. He couldn’t tell her that and rub more salt in her wound.
“What if I’m his second choice?” She kept her eyes fused with his.
She was facing the hard questions without Amos having to pose them, and for that he was thankful. “Or your first scenario could be correct, that he got cold feet and has returned to the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with.” Amos had no plans to interfere with a reconciliation between Naomi and Thomas. He’d already made a mistake by almost kissing her and opening his heart to possibilities he hadn’t considered before he met her.
“I want to believe I’m his first choice. But how do I know he won’t leave me again?” Her eyes beckoned for an answer that would soothe her soul, but love can be complicated. Lying to her wouldn’t help.
“You don’t know. That’s where trust comes in.”
“I trusted him before,” she responded right away, a hint of anger rising to the surface. “But I don’t want to play games or pretend I don’t love him. I don’t want to make him jealous either.”
“I think you already did last night.” Amos grinned briefly as he recalled Thomas’s attitude. “But your true feelings will show, and he’ll get comfortable with the fact that I’m staying here for a while.” Amos wondered if he’d get comfortable seeing her with Thomas, or even being around her and knowing she was off limits now. Later he’d calculate how much longer he’d have to stay to complete the list of jobs he’d committed to.
Naomi stared at him long and hard. “Are you comfortable staying here?”
Had she seen into his thoughts, felt the pang of regret in his heart? “Ya, absolutely,” he lied. She didn’t need anything else to worry about, and he didn’t want things to be awkward between them. As much as he’d dreaded coming upstairs to have this conversation, maybe this was the best thing that could have happened.
“Lizzie is pretty upset and sorry for the way she talked to you,” he said when her mind seemed to trail away. “I think you need to talk to her, maybe let her off the hook.”
Naomi smiled a little, even though she was still sniffling and blotting her eyes with a tissue. “Ya, I know. Lizzie’s heart is always in the right place, but sometimes she’s too outspoken. And Thomas just arrived. I’m still trying to wrap mei mind around that.”
They were quiet for a few seconds, and Amos knew her thoughts must be all over the place. “I’m still going to paint in the evenings. I’m determined to get that sunset right.” Painting had always been calming to him. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed it until now. “You’re welcome to join me tonight if it isn’t raining. I heard Lizzie say the forecast had changed, less chance of rain for the next few days.”
She cleared her throat and lowered her eyes. “Actually, I’m having supper with Thomas tonight. I’ll prepare the meal for you, Lizzie, and Esther, but then Thomas is taking me to eat pizza.” She began to blush with her eyes still cast down.
Amos winced as he struggled to hide his disappointment. “That’s great.” He stood up and put on his hat. Naomi lifted herself from the bed, and walked toward him, close enough that he caught a whiff of lavender, maybe her lotion.
“Danki for coming to talk to me. I’ll say something to Lizzie and assure her I’m okay.” Pausing, the hint of a smile crept onto her face. “And danki for not making things awkward between us.”
“You’re welcome. Enjoy your supper.” He quickly turned and left before his expression revealed the awkwardness he did feel.
* * *
By the time the supper hour was upon them, Esther was glad she didn’t have to take Gus any pie. He’d have to make do with the smooshed one. She’d spit up blood twice during the day and wasn’t very hungry, but she struggled to eat some beans and rice so Lizzie wouldn’t question her. Her sister had once told her she didn’t think she could live if anything happened to Esther. It was a dramatic thing to say, even for Lizzie, but Esther knew it would be a huge blow to Lizzie if something was seriously wrong with her. Lizzie was as brave as a lion when it came to her own health, but she turned to mush when others were ill.
Esther could still recall the turmoil Lizzie went through during her husband’s cancer and the months leading up to his death. Esther had grieved when she lost her beloved Joe, but they’d created a beautiful life filled with memories Esther clung to during those hard times. Lizzie’s grief after Reuben died left her a different person for a while. She’d been the same when their father passed and years later when their mother died. Even though their people believed it was God’s will when He took a person home, the loss was always extra hard on Lizzie. Each time, she eventually bounced back to her old self, but it was a long and slow process.
“Naomi allowed me to apologize about the way I talked to her.” Lizzie mashed her beans and rice with the prongs of her fork, having opted not to wear her dentures. “And I bit mei tongue and didn’t call Thomas a cad.”
“We just want her to be happy,” Esther said to Amos, who hadn’t had much to say all evening, only nodding when Lizzie thanked him. He wasn’t downstairs when Thomas came to the door to get Naomi. Sadness seemed to fill his expression. Or perhaps he was just tired after putting in a long day of work on the barn. Esther had firmly instructed Lizzie not to say or do anything to make Amos feel uncomfortable. They’d both politely thanked him for smoothing things over between Naomi and Lizzie, but Esther was as curious as Lizzie about what was said during that conversation.
Following the quiet supper, Amos excused himself and said he was going to go paint for a while.
Lizzie waited until he was outside, carrying only one easel while pulling the wagon.
“Did you see how sad he was during supper?” She spoke with an unwarranted sense of excitement. “He’s lovesick!”
Esther shook her head, which was starting to throb. “We don’t know that. He worked hard today and might just be exhausted.”
“Nee.” Lizzie sat taller and raised her chin. “I know I’m right about this. If Thomas had returned two or three weeks later, I think he’d have found something more than friendship between Naomi and Amos.”
“Maybe, but we’ll never know.” She paused, smiling. “And you must admit it was nice to see Naomi glowing again.”
“Ya, ya.” Lizzie sighed. “But if Thomas hurts her again, I’m going to hang him on the clothesline and beat him with a broom like a dirty rug.”
Esther laughed and laid her fork across her plate.
“Are you losing weight? You haven’t been eating much lately.” Lizzie squinted at Esther. “I know you’ve had some stomach troubles.”
“I don’t think so.” Esther suspected she’d lost a little weight, although she wasn’t sure if it was due to her medical condition or her worry about what was wrong. She needed to change the subject so Lizzie wouldn’t push her about it. “I hope Naomi is having a gut time this evening, and that’s what you should hope too.”
Lizzie leaned her head back and closed her eyes. “I know, I know.”
* * *
Naomi couldn’t believe Thomas was sitting across the table from her. She’d dreamed of the scenario ever since he left. He had mentioned several times how sorry he was for leaving and how happy he was to be back.
Still, something was amiss. Naomi wanted her heart to stay full, but as questions somersaulted around in her mind, a slow leak seemed to have sprung in her heart. She had decided that for them to be able to move forward, they had to take a look backward, no matter how painful.
“You’ve been quiet.” Thomas wiped his mouth with his napkin and captured her eyes with his own. He had beautiful blue eyes set against an olive complexion. When he smiled, he lit up a room.
“I-I just need to know why you came back.” She pressed her lips together, afraid he might not be honest with her. “I know there was another woman.”
Thomas hung his head, sighed, then looked back at her. “I knew I’d made a mistake when I left and that you were the only woman I’d ever love. But I didn’t know how to come back. The longer I was gone, the harder it was to return and face everyone, especially you.” He paused, his eyes glistening with moisture. “And I still have to have a hard conversation with the bishop and elders since I’d been baptized before I left. I will assure him that I will never leave mei faith again. And I won’t leave this town or you ever again.” He took a deep breath and stared into her eyes. “I promise you, Naomi, I will never leave you again. Never.”
She wanted to believe him, but she couldn’t help noticing he had swerved around her question. “What happened with the other woman?” She held her breath. It was a direct question, and he had to answer it.
“Does it matter? I’m back. I’m in love with you. And I’m promising you a lifetime of happiness.”
She looked down at the slice of pizza on her plate that she hadn’t touched. Slowly, she lifted her eyes to his. “Ya, it matters.”
“I missed you so much, and I was terrified about coming back. I guess I fell into the first woman’s arms who showed me a little attention.” He shook his head. “I knew it was a mistake the first time I kissed her. Your face was all I saw.”
Naomi could have done without that detail as she flinched, picturing Thomas kissing someone else. But parallel in her thoughts was how close she had come to kissing Amos. Would she have seen Thomas in her mind while kissing Amos?
“Can we please just be happy together now that I’m back and put the past behind us?” Thomas’s eyes pleaded with her.
She nodded. Thomas started talking about how he was going to resume working for his father at their lumberyard, and Naomi’s mind began to drift. She wondered if Amos was painting.
* * *
Amos stepped back and eyed his canvas, then cast his eyes toward the horizon. There couldn’t have been a more beautiful sunset, and capturing the glory of it seemed impossible. He was determined to do better this time, and he was glad Naomi had a lot of blank canvases in the basement so he could start over. His initial plan was to fix the one he’d started with Naomi, but that had changed. Like any hope of pursuing more than friendship with her.
As his eyes darted back and forth between the beautiful landscape in front of him and his new painting, he still felt like something was missing. The painting was brighter, didn’t have the grayish tint, and he’d replicated the reflection off the pond almost exactly as he saw it. Still, something was wrong.
Maybe it was the loss of his painting partner.
* * *
As Thomas pulled into the driveway, Naomi ignored her desire to look and see if Amos was painting. Thomas might catch her, and she didn’t want to upset him. He already appeared uncomfortable that Amos was staying in the house.
“I had a gut time,” she said once they were on the porch.
He cupped her cheeks in his hands and gently pulled her toward him, kissing her with all the passion she remembered.
“I love you so much,” he said before his mouth covered hers again.
After a few minutes she pulled back and thanked him for supper. “I love you too.”
“I might not see you tomorrow.” His shoulders slumped. “Mei daed wants to stay late with me at the lumberyard to show me the new inventory system he’s using. I don’t think it’s necessary since it’s similar to the one I was using while I was gone and working for my cousin.” He kissed her tenderly on the cheek. “I’d much rather be with you.”
“It’s fine,” she said, smiling. “We have a lifetime to spend together.”
“Ya, things are going to be gut, Naomi.” He grinned. “Tomorrow is Halloween. Don’t let any of the Englisch ghosts and goblins get you.”
Naomi laughed. “I don’t think we’ll have any goblins at the haus. Most everyone around here knows we don’t celebrate Halloween.”
“Well, be safe until I see you again.” He kissed her one last time, then left.
Naomi waved until he turned onto the road that led to the highway. Then she walked across the front yard, far enough to see if Amos was down by the pond. He’s there. She ran back to the house. Lizzie and Esther were settled in for the night in their bedrooms, but there was probably an hour of daylight left.
She tiptoed across the living room and went upstairs to get the painting she’d been working on, then hurried to the basement to grab the other easel. With a bounce in her step, she carried both across the yard and started toward the pond.
Halfway there, she stopped. What am I doing?
Even though she and Amos had agreed to be friends, she couldn’t deny the mutual attraction. Why put herself in a tempting situation? More concerning was that she even considered it a tempting situation.
Shoulders slumped, she slowly turned around and went back to the house. She’d lost the bounce in her step.