Naomi forced herself to look away from their male guest. Her heart had briefly flipped when she laid eyes on him, a reaction she hadn’t experienced since her breakup with Thomas. She wouldn’t be human if she didn’t notice the Nordic blue of his eyes, the way his dark hair framed a square jawline, and his broad shoulders, proof of a man who did physical work. His fading summer tan shone on his face, but that wasn’t all she could see. There was pain in the lines that ran across his forehead, and somehow she sensed a raw hurt that hadn’t healed. Or maybe she was completely off the mark because of her own situation.
Most of the available men in their small district, and even some from surrounding communities, had tried to court Naomi since Thomas had left. Each time she politely declined. She had no interest in pursuing a relationship with anyone. Thomas had stolen her heart like a thief who took a part of her—maybe all of her—when he’d broken off their engagement and left town.
Amos Lantz possibly found her attractive, but this man wasn’t in the market for love either. And unless she was wrong, that meant she wouldn’t have to put up with his pursuit of her affections. He felt safe, even if it was due to a loss in his life. Such suffering tended to recognize company.
Naomi stood in the corner of the dining room in case anyone needed a tea glass refilled. Esther fielded questions from the two English women, which included the usual inquiries from outsiders. Since Lizzie had been instructed to behave, she stood quietly beside her sister. Naomi was glad to see she had her teeth in this evening.
“But if a person hasn’t been baptized, then they can’t be shunned, right?” One of the English women, a plump woman wearing too much makeup, posed the question to Amos’s mother, Anna Mae, who nodded.
“Ya, that’s correct,” Esther injected so Anna Mae could finish chewing her food.
From there Esther suggested several places for the women to visit since they wanted to do some sightseeing.
“Stop ’N Sea is run by Amish folks.” Esther folded her hands in front of her. “They have a variety of things on the menu, but they are most popular for their hot fish sandwiches.”
Esther told them about other eateries and shops in the area. Thankfully Lizzie remained quiet. Naomi loved both the women equally, but Lizzie’s unpredictable behavior had made for some interesting dining experiences in the past. Particularly when an English family had shown up with their fifteen-year-old daughter wearing very short pants and a low-cut sleeveless blouse. Lizzie brought the girl’s attire to her attention right away, telling her that she looked like a walking advertisement for— Luckily Lizzie had stopped mid-sentence, but the damage was done. The mother defended her daughter, saying it was a hundred degrees in the house. Lizzie had responded by saying, “It’s July and you’re staying in an Amish haus. What did you expect?” That couple and their daughter left first thing the following morning.
Naomi drifted in and out of the conversation, hearing bits and pieces as she sneaked glances at Amos. The more she tried to feel something other than physical attraction for this handsome fellow, the more defeated she felt. She didn’t have even the tiniest interest in getting to know him, but how nice it would be to entertain the possibility of love again. He was handsome, and though he barely smiled, when he did, the ground probably shook beneath most women’s feet. Not Naomi’s. Without a beard, he was obviously unmarried. Why?
It doesn’t matter. Thomas had been her one true love. She’d waited for years until she was old enough to date. Her father had a strict rule against dating before she turned eighteen. Naomi was an only child and thought the rule was unfair. Most girls were allowed to date when they turned sixteen. Thomas was three years older than Naomi. He’d found someone to court before she turned eighteen. She dated a few other young men, but no one she could imagine sharing her life with. When Thomas broke things off with his girlfriend, Naomi’s heart had sizzled with the prospect that maybe he would ask her out. And he did. After six months he proposed. Then he left her broken, like scattered pieces of a life she’d never have an opportunity to live.
Later, after the kitchen was cleaned, Naomi walked onto the porch to feel the crisp fall air as she eyed the orange-and-yellow hues settling in around the house. October was her favorite month. The heat of summer was past, and the busyness of the holidays hadn’t arrived yet. It was a peaceful time of year since most crops had been harvested, and it was also beautiful. There were a few cornfields—like the one behind their pond—where the stalks still stretched high.
Someone cleared his throat behind her, and she jumped as she swiveled to face him. “Ach, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you.”
Amos sat alone in one of six white rocking chairs on the front porch.
“Can I get you anything?” Again she hoped for a tinge of excitement, a swirl in her stomach, or the nervousness of being in the presence of someone she found incredibly attractive. Still nothing.
“Nee, I’m just enjoying the view.” He grinned, and for a moment Naomi wondered if he was talking about her, but he pointed to the hill on the other side of the pond. “That’s quite a display of color.”
“Ya, ya. It’s a lovely time of year.” Naomi wanted to know if her speculations about this man were right. She was sure Esther and Lizzie were already scheming ways to set her up with him. If Naomi knew Amos’s sad story, she could halt the sisters’ efforts.
“May I join you?” She pointed to one of the rocking chairs, two spots down from where he was sitting.
He nodded. “Ya, sure.”
Naomi wasn’t good at small talk, and now that she had an opportunity to ask him why he looked so sad, she realized how nosy and inappropriate that would be.
“Are Esther and Lizzie your aunts, or is one of them your grossmammi?” He twisted slightly in the rocking chair to face her.
“Nee, we aren’t blood related, but I still think of them as family. Mei parents died five years ago.” Naomi paused, pushing away the images of the crushed buggy next to a blue car that she’d seen when she’d arrived at the scene. “It was an accident. They were hit and killed instantly by an oncoming car. The driver is actually in jail.” Although that hadn’t done anything to quell the pain she’d suffered at the time, it saddened her that a young woman, who was only nineteen at the time, would spend a long time in prison because she’d been drinking and driving. That woman’s life had been taken from her as well, but at her own doing.
Amos didn’t take his eyes off her. “I’m so sorry.”
She could tell by that single expression, the way he reacted with such sincerity, that the loss he’d suffered was the passing of a loved one.
“Danki,” she said as she kept her eyes fused with his. “It was five years ago, and I miss them every day, but time does lessen the pain. The hurt doesn’t feel as raw and unmanageable now. I’m able to reflect on the gut memories more often.” She didn’t understand how, though time had lessened the blow of her parents’ death, she couldn’t shed her sorrow about Thomas leaving. If anything, it just got worse as the days went by. She had to hope that time would eventually make a difference and open her heart to love again. But hope had very little room to breathe, not much room to grow, and was constantly snuffed out by doubt and self-pity.
“I understand that type of loss.” He finally pulled his eyes from hers and stared somewhere into the distance, maybe eyeing the colorful foliage again. But still lost somewhere. “I was engaged to be married until mei fiancée was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer and died almost a year ago.”
Naomi wasn’t sure what to say. She was feeling sorry for herself daily because Thomas had left her. The woman this man loved had died. “I’m sorry for your loss,” she said, barely above a whisper.
“Danki.” His eyes found their way back to the distant place he must retreat to when memories so unbearably tragic threatened to overtake him. Then he turned back to her. “Somehow I knew you were in mourning as well.” He shrugged. “I’m not sure how, but I suspected you had gone through a difficult time.”
She tried to smile. “You picked up on that even though we just met?” It was an ironic thing to say since she’d read the sorrow in his expression too.
“I was hoping I was wrong.” He smiled a little, sympathetically, and Naomi thought she needed to fess up.
“In a way, you were wrong.” She swallowed hard as she stared at her bare feet for a few seconds before looking back at him. “Please understand how much I loved mei parents. But it was five years ago, and over time, I’ve learned to function again.” She took a deep breath. “I will always miss them, but the source of mei current pain is more recent. I feel badly even saying anything because it’s not nearly as tragic as what you’ve been through.” The weight of his pain pressed down on her shoulders. At least Thomas hadn’t died.
* * *
Amos struggled to read her expression, but it had shifted and changed so much in a matter of minutes that he was confused. He waited for her to go on.
“Mei sadness stems from a bad breakup.” She lowered her head again. “I know that’s not like a death, but . . .” She blinked, and Amos hoped she didn’t cry. If she did he’d have no choice but to pull her into his arms, or comfort her in some way, and she might mistake his kindness as something other than sympathy. “We were engaged.” She finally looked up at him, and there were tears in the corners of her eyes.
“I suspect it felt like a death in much the same way,” he said, unsure if that was true or not. He’d had breakups before, but nothing could have prepared him for Sarah’s death.
Naomi looked at him as her jaw dropped briefly. “You are the first person who has ever said that to me. Again, your situation must be so much worse, but I appreciate that you do understand how I feel.” She paused, biting her lip. “In so many ways, I do feel like he died.”
But he didn’t die, so maybe there was hope for her. “Is there any chance of a reconciliation?”
She shook her head vigorously, her face drawn into another confusing expression that portrayed a mixture of hurt and anger. “Nee. I don’t think so. He broke off our engagement and left town.” She pressed her lips together, and her eyes seemed to fill more. Please don’t cry. “I feel like he took a part of me with him, a slice of mei heart that I’ll never get back, and I don’t ever want to feel that way again. I don’t want to ever fall in lieb again.”
Now she was speaking his language. “Nor do I.”
They sat quietly for a while. This woman was convicted in her desire to never fall in love again. It was sad since she was incredibly beautiful and seemed like a nice person. But he was relieved that she wouldn’t be flirting with him. Even as he had the thought, he realized how arrogant it sounded. But he was so tired of people trying to fix him up with their eligible friends, and women bringing pies and casseroles in hopes Amos would want to court them. No one wanted to talk about how horrible he still felt. As a man he felt he should keep those emotions inside. But sometimes he wanted to talk to someone other than God. He’d relied heavily on the Lord to get him through that difficult time, but not long after Sarah’s funeral, friends stopped mentioning her name. He wanted to shout to the world sometimes that she had existed, that she’d been real, the only person he’d ever loved, a life not to be forgotten but remembered.
“Do you want to take a walk?” He quickly jerked his head in her direction. “This is not me coming on to you. This is me feeling very grateful that I find you so easy to talk to about a subject we both seem to understand.”
She smiled a little. He probably shouldn’t have said that, but how could they be friendly with each other over the next few days unless Amos laid his cards on the table? No pretenses. No prospect of romance.
“No one ever wants to talk about it.” She lifted her shoulders and lowered them slowly. “Sometimes I want to talk. But I must warn you . . . I can be fairly unpleasant when I do. Lots of self-pity.” She chuckled a little. “No wonder no one wants to listen.”
Amos smiled. There was something very real about this woman. “Did I see a pond on the back of the property when we were driving in? I bet the view of the sunset is wonderful. And I can deal with your self-pity as long as you don’t get mad and punch me or something.”
She laughed. “I promise not to hit you.”
“Okay, then.” He stood, and so did she.
“Just let me put on mei shoes.” She scuttled to the other end of the porch and slipped on a pair of black loafers.
Then they set out across the front yard and toward the setting sun.
* * *
Esther stood at the window with Lizzie, watching Naomi and Amos walk across the yard toward the pond.
“Going on a walk doesn’t necessarily mean anything, Lizzie.” Esther tried to tame her sister’s overly optimistic opinion. From the time she saw Naomi and Amos looking at each other in the dining room, Lizzie had them married off.
“Don’t be so negative.” Lizzie spit her teeth in her hand and pressed her nose to the glass. “Didn’t you notice how handsome that fellow is? If anyone can mend Naomi’s broken heart, it’s him.”
“Looks aren’t everything, and you know that.” Esther prayed for Naomi every day, that the girl would find love again. “You know I love a gut love story as much as you do, but we don’t know a thing about that man.”
“Well, here comes someone who does,” Lizzie said in a whisper as she nodded toward the stairs. The two English women had gone out after supper, so it could only be Anna Mae.
“Wie bischt,” Lizzie said before she dropped her teeth, picked them up quickly, and forced them back into place.
Esther cringed, glad Naomi had swept the wood floors before their guests arrived.
“Would you like to join us for kaffi and shoofly pie?” Lizzie attempted to smile, but she obviously didn’t have her teeth in correctly again, which gave her a lopsided smile that was comical. Thankfully Anna Mae was gracious and didn’t stare.
“I don’t think I can eat one more bite of food. Supper was wonderful, and I overdid it.” Still smiling, she said, “But kaffi would be nice.”
Lizzie motioned for her to follow them into the kitchen where they had a small table and four chairs. It was where she, Esther, and Naomi ate most of their meals. The dining room was for guests and decorated fancier than anywhere else in the house. Naomi had a knack for arranging lovely place settings. Their kitchen was cozy and functional, and Esther felt sure Anna Mae would feel comfortable.
After they were seated and each had a cup of coffee, Lizzie sliced herself a large piece of pie. Like Anna Mae, Esther couldn’t eat another bite. She didn’t understand how Lizzie stayed so tiny. The woman ate all the time.
“Your sohn is a fine-looking fellow.” Esther opened the conversation since Lizzie was shoveling pie into her mouth as if she hadn’t just eaten a huge meal.
“Danki.” Anna Mae took a sip of coffee, then circled the rim of the cup with her finger. “He’s had a hard time.” She glanced at Esther, then back down at her cup as she frowned. “His fiancée died of cancer about a year ago, and the boy can’t seem to get over it.” She paused before she looked at Esther again. “Sarah was a wonderful young woman, and he loved her so much. But unfortunately, he’s cut himself off from available women and says he will never love anyone but Sarah.” She shook her head. “His daed and I are hoping time will heal his heart. But for now, he just isn’t interested in a romantic relationship.”
Lizzie stopped chewing and shook her head. Esther shared her sister’s disappointment. “I will pray for his heart to mend,” she said. “Our Naomi is going through a similar situation. She was also engaged until her fiancé broke up with her and left our community. Naomi isn’t blood-related to us, but we think of her like a dochder, more like grossdochder, I suppose. And we hate to see her so sad all the time.”
Anna Mae glanced out the kitchen window and the hint of a smile played on her lips. “Naomi is lovely. Perhaps there is a friendship brewing at the very least. It’s not like Amos to take off on a walk like that with a woman. I’m afraid that back home he’s practically stalked by women who consider him quite a catch.”
Esther caught the pride in Anna Mae’s statement, but she had to admit, if the man was half as nice as he was attractive, she could understand him having a lot of female admirers.
“Naomi is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.” Lizzie had finished her pie, wiped her mouth, and managed to get her teeth straight. “It’s a shame you and your sohn won’t be here longer than a few days. Maybe those two would get to know each other and . . .” Lizzie raised both eyebrows and smiled.
Anna Mae blinked her eyes dreamily. “Ach, how I would love for Amos to find love again.” She shook her head. “But I just don’t see it happening. At least not any time soon.” Smiling at Lizzie, she said, “But I wish we could stay longer, too, just to give them a chance and see what happens.”
“Then stay.” Lizzie straightened in her chair, grinning. “We won’t charge you for any extra days,” she said in a whisper, almost as if she was trying to keep Esther from hearing, even though she was right across the table.
“Nee, I couldn’t do that. If we stay longer, I will pay.” Anna Mae spoke with enthusiasm, and hope found its way into Esther’s heart as well.
“Please stay as long as you’d like.” Esther glanced out the window. The young people were out of sight.
Lizzie pressed her palms together and lightly clapped her hands. “Watching the sunset is romantic.”
Anna Mae nodded in agreement. “Ya, it is. Even if those two don’t take to each other, I’d love to spend more time with mei family I haven’t seen in a long time.”
Esther was afraid to be too hopeful. But fear blocked the voice of God and was never a good emotion to cart around. She would try to pray her doubts away. It sounded like she and Lizzie had an ally, someone equally as interested in playing matchmaker. But then Anna Mae frowned.
“I’m afraid Amos won’t want to stay longer than we agreed on. He owns his own construction company, and it’s a slow time of year for him. I could only get him to commit to the trip if we returned Sunday.” Anna Mae sipped her coffee. “It’s a shame. Naomi seems like a lovely maedel. But, in truth, Amos just isn’t ready yet.”
Esther’s hope fizzled, but Lizzie strummed her fingers on the table, lips pressed together and eyebrows drawn inward. Lizzie’s hope hadn’t floundered one bit. If anything, she was already plotting ways to get the young couple together. Esther admired her sister’s determination, but Anna Mae knew her son. And she sounded certain he wasn’t ready for love. Still, Lizzie’s compassion for someone who had lost a loved one was always well received. Maybe she could help Amos with his healing process. That could be God’s only plan for Amos right now. But Esther was going to try to keep her cup half full with hope that maybe a romance was on the horizon as well.