Chapter Twenty-Four

Christmas had been busy. Usually free of paying guests at this time of year, they had had no choice but to stay open for the men from the radar installation, now numbering five. They in turn had been disappointed not to get home leave. Helen decided she would make the Christmas celebrations as merry as possible.

Danny helped Joe in the kitchen and Helen cleaned rooms and changed beds along with Elise. She had already started writing another book and she resented the time spent away from her typewriter, so she resolved to take on domestic help as soon as possible. Especially as another visit from the billeting officer had made it clear that she could expect to have every room filled with military personnel.

‘What you do will be vital,’ he had told Helen. ‘First-rate food, a warm bed and cheerful company are good for morale.’

After Twelfth Night the jolly mood dissipated. Their paying guests came and went on their different shifts and never talked about their work. Joe was happy enough in the kitchen and was intent on filling the store cupboard in case there were going to be shortages. Danny helped him with this but Helen noticed that her twin brothers were a lot more subdued than usual. In their spare time they would sit quietly and talk to each other, breaking off the conversation if anyone came too close.

But if the twins were subdued, Elise was positively downcast. Throughout the Christmas celebrations she had been the most highspirited, laughing, dancing and flirting with the youngest of their paying guests, although never letting him believe that she was seriously interested in him.

Helen was not surprised when her younger sister’s mood changed so noticeably. She had suspected that much of her relentlessly cheerful behaviour had been an act designed not so much to convince the others as to persuade herself that she was having a good time.

On Christmas morning a card had arrived from the Partingtons. It was enclosed with a letter from their solicitor saying that as they had no idea what her present tastes might be they had deposited a generous sum in her bank account with which she was to buy herself a present. This had been their way ever since Elise had come to live with Helen, so she should not have been surprised. She just hasn’t entirely accepted her new life yet, Helen thought, and she cursed the Partingtons for their cruel treatment of the girl they had been so eager to take away from her real family.

As winter gave way to a reluctant spring Elise took to walking on the beach after she had finished her morning duties. She never asked for company but one day, when she had stayed out longer than usual, Helen put on her warmest coat and went to find her. It wasn’t hard. The chill wind had driven even the hardiest walkers away and Elise was the only person standing on the damp sand, her hands stuffed in her pockets as she gazed out across the white-capped waves. She didn’t turn as Helen joined her. She simply said, ‘I wonder where he is.’

‘Who?’

‘Perry.’ She paused. ‘My husband.’ Then she began to laugh – or was she sobbing?

Helen glanced sideways and was concerned to see tears streaming down her sister’s face. She took a handkerchief from her pocket and offered it wordlessly.

‘Thank you,’ Elise said. ‘But I’m not crying, you know. It’s this wind – makes my eyes water.’

‘If you say so,’ Helen said. ‘But is this what you do every day? Come here and stare out across the Channel?’

Elise answered the question with one of her own. ‘How far do you think it is from here to France?’

‘Depends where in France you want to go. And where you start from. About twenty miles at the narrowest point. You’re not thinking of going to look for him, are you?’

‘No. I don’t want to see him again. Ever. He’s an unprincipled, dishonourable cad and sometimes I think I hate him for what he did to me. But, oh, Helen, it was so wonderful while it lasted. Can you understand that?’

‘Yes, I think I can. And I also think you should put him from your mind altogether. You’re young, you’re beautiful and you have a wonderful life ahead of you.’

Elise turned and gave a disbelieving smile. ‘Life as a chambermaid?’

‘I’ve been thinking about that. It’s too late to send you back to school but what about college? There must be something you would be interested in studying.’

‘Don’t you need me to help you in the house?’

‘We can afford to get staff in now. So, think about it, Elise. And for God’s sake let’s get home. I’m bloody freezing!’

After that conversation Elise seemed to cheer up a little and now and then she even asked for company on her morning walks. Then in March, on her nineteenth birthday, another letter arrived from the solicitor. There was no birthday card from the Partingtons enclosed and at first Helen thought that was the reason her sister looked so distraught.

They were sitting at the table in their family room having a coffee break after giving the guests their breakfast. Their new domestic help, Mrs Fearon, was clearing the tables in the dining room and her husband, a former army cook who had been wounded in the last war, was learning his way round the kitchen. Danny had brought in the mail on a silver salver.

‘A letter from London, for you, madam,’ he said to Helen in a voice like that of a butler in a movie. ‘I imagine it’s from your publisher.’

‘And this looks as if it’s from your solicitor, madam,’ he said, turning to Elise.

The last envelope on the salver was a blue airmail envelope. ‘From your Australian pen pal, I think,’ he said to Joe, who grinned as he reached for his letter then stuffed it in his pocket to be read later.

‘And no mail for me,’ Danny said. ‘But then I never write to anyone, do I? Perhaps I should respond to one of those pen pal requests in the newspaper like Joe did. You never know what might develop.’

Joe looked embarrassed. ‘Leave it be, Danny,’ he said. ‘Nothing has developed between Muriel and me. We’re just pals.’

Suddenly Elise cried out, ‘Oh no!’

‘What is it?’ Helen asked.

‘Perry,’ she said. ‘He’s dead. They found him on the beach.’

‘The beach?’ For a moment Helen thought that her sister’s husband had been found on the beach where Elise liked to walk every day. Had they been meeting secretly?

‘Which beach? Where?’ Joe asked.

‘Biarritz.’

‘What was he doing in Biarritz?’

‘I can guess,’ Danny said. ‘The casino.’

Elise nodded. ‘He couldn’t keep away from gambling.’ She stared at the letter. ‘Apparently he got mixed up with the wrong crowd, ran up some debts and asked my father to settle them.’

‘And Mr Partington refused,’ Helen guessed.

‘That’s right. So now he is dead and the French police don’t think there’s much chance of finding whoever it was who killed him. Poor Perry.’

They looked at her in surprise. After her initial outburst she had calmed down. She passed the letter to Helen. ‘You can read it if you like. My father’s solicitor thought I ought to know what had happened, especially as now I won’t be put through the inconvenience of having to divorce Perry. Inconvenience? That’s all it means to people like that.’

Helen skimmed through the letter then glanced up at Elise. ‘Are you all right?’ she asked.

‘Strangely enough I’m fine. I’m sad, of course, but I’m not heartbroken. Poor, poor Perry. Now I can put the whole unhappy episode behind me.’

1st September 1939

I have neglected my diary lately but I feel that I ought to mention the mood of unease, not to say downright dread that pervades the air. Germany has invaded Poland and although Mr Chamberlain has issued an ultimatum to Germany saying that they must withdraw, the government is preparing us for war.

Matthew is in Berlin. I wish he wasn’t.

3rd September 1939

This morning Mr and Mrs Fearon joined us while we listened to the wireless. At quarter past eleven our Prime Minister, Mr Chamberlain, announced that the deadline of the final British ultimatum for the withdrawal of German troops from Poland had expired and that ‘consequently this nation is at war with Germany’.

Nobody spoke. It was what we were expecting but it was frightening to have our worst fears confirmed.

As far as I know Matthew, along with other British nationals, is still in Germany. What will happen to him?

 

 

Over the next few days Danny saw how feverishly Helen searched through the newspaper and then threw it aside in anguish. There had been no reports from Matthew Renshaw since the day after war had been declared when the Royal Air Force launched a raid on the German navy.

Danny could imagine him phoning his last report through to London and also the consequences of his action if he was discovered. As surely he must be eventually. The telephone lines would be tapped or cut altogether, and as far as Danny could see it would be pretty pointless for Matthew to stay there. If he has any sense he’ll get home somehow, Danny thought.

Then what will happen if he does? Am I going to allow Helen to go on tormenting herself like this? No matter what Joe and I will have to face up to, we have no right to keep her away from the man she loves.

A week later Danny saw Helen throw the paper aside. She hurried out of the house without bothering to put her coat on. He picked up the paper and scanned it quickly to see if he could find what she had been reading. The report was brief.

 

 

You may be wondering why we have not heard from our correspondent Matthew Renshaw. As you may remember, he was in Germany when war was declared. We have it on good authority that he, along with other British Nationals, is quite safe and that they are making their way home.

 

 

‘What is it?’ Elise asked and Danny handed her the paper.

‘Who is Matthew Renshaw?’ she asked when she had read it.

‘He’s the bloke Helen is in love with.’

‘Since when?’

‘Since before we all got together again.’

‘But why have we never seen him?’

‘There are good reasons and I promise you I’ll explain it all, but right now don’t you think you should go after Helen and see if she’s all right?’

 

Elise had had the good sense to take Helen’s coat with her and when she found her on the beach she slipped it over her shoulders.

‘Thanks,’ Helen said.

‘Now it’s your turn to gaze out across the sea,’ Elise said. ‘But in your case I’m hoping and praying that he will come home.’

Helen turned to look at her sister in surprise. ‘What do you know about it?’ she asked.

‘Very little. But Danny has promised to explain. Now come home, won’t you? At times like this you ought to be with your family.’

 

George had been working on what he called the graveyard shift in the sub-basement control room at Broadcasting House. When he got home just before nine in the morning Patricia was clearing up the mess their daughter had made on her high chair. He dropped a kiss on Gillian’s head and took Patricia in his arms.

‘What’s this?’ she said anxiously. ‘Bad news?’

‘No, sweetheart. It’s good news. Our people in Paris phoned in to say a British contingent is making its way by train to one of the Channel ports. They couldn’t or wouldn’t say which one, but it’s looking good.’

‘And Matthew is part of this contingent?’

‘He is.’

‘Thank God for that.’

Patricia allowed herself the luxury of weeping in her husband’s arms and when she had thoroughly soaked his jacket she looked up and said, ‘I know you must be tired, darling, but I want you to go straight round and tell the old folks.’

George found his handkerchief and wiped Patricia’s face. ‘Why don’t you and Gillian come with me?’ he said. ‘Then we can all have another good cry – together!’

 

The day after Matthew’s first report from London appeared in the newspaper Danny and Joe knew it was time to make a decision. During their rest time in the afternoon they retired to the room they shared on the top floor. At first they simply sat on their beds staring at each other across the narrow space that divided them. Danny was the first to speak.

‘I’m sorry, Joe,’ he said.

‘It’s all right. I would have gone anyway. I’ve been thinking about it for some time.’

‘If there’d been any other way . . .’

‘Forget it, Danny. You’ve protected me long enough.’

‘Surely that’s the other way round. You protected me.’

‘Oh, yeah, I worked to provide for us both, but I owed you that. It was my fault you got ill.’

‘No, it was my own fault. I shouldn’t have been so stupid as to go out in the rain. You wouldn’t have done. And another thing. I guessed what you were up to as soon as I realized that you were more flush with money than you ought to be. I should have stopped you doping the dogs but I just went on having an easy life. A good life. At your expense. There’s not much to choose between us, Joe.’

‘Except for one thing.’

‘Don’t. Don’t say anything. Not now.’

‘I have to, because it’s another reason for what I’m going to do. I was responsible for Tod Walker’s death that day. Oh, yeah, he asked for it. Or that’s what I told myself when I shoved him as hard as I could towards the cliff’s edge. I wanted him to go over. I wanted to put a stop to the grief and the bullying. I wanted to protect you.’

‘I know that. That’s why it’s as much my fault as yours.’

‘You didn’t do the shoving though, did you?’

‘No, and I’m sorry.’

‘What do you have to be sorry for?’

‘Oh, just sorry that it happened and that you’ve had to live with it all these years. And sorrier still that you’re going away.’

‘I told you. I would have anyway. And I’m going sooner than you think. I want you to be with me when I break it to Helen.’

Danny told Joe that of course he would be with him when he told Helen, but he decided that he would never tell him that there had been no need to push Tod over the cliff. No need because he hadn’t bothered him at all. Danny had his own quiet way of dealing with trouble and he’d been pretty sure that like all bullies Tod Walker would have left him alone once he realized that he didn’t react. No, it would be pointless and cruel trying to explain that to Joe now. Best to leave it in the past.

 

Matthew had only been back in London for two days when he got a phone call at the office asking him if he would join the caller for lunch at Stefano’s.

‘Who are you?’ he asked.

‘Someone who knows Helen Norton.’ The caller rang off.

Matthew racked his memory and tried to place the voice but couldn’t. However, the moment he walked into the restaurant and saw the good-looking young man waiting in the bar area he recognized him as the missing kennel lad.

‘You . . .’ he said. ‘Joe Jackson.’

‘Actually, I’m not. I’m not Joe and my name isn’t Jackson, but why don’t we go to our table and I’ll explain.’

Danny had chosen Stefano’s because he thought that might convince Matthew that whoever this person was that was calling really did know Helen. He led the way to the restaurant area and on seeing Marina he said, ‘I believe you have a table for Mr Norton?’

Marina showed them the table and left them with the menu. Danny was aware that Matthew was staring at him. ‘Norton?’ he said. ‘That’s Helen’s name.’

‘Yes. Joe and I are her brothers.’

Matthew looked bewildered. ‘I didn’t know she had any living family . . .’ he began.

‘Ah, that was the trouble. She did have a family. Two brothers—’

‘Twins!’

Danny nodded. ‘And a sister. There are four of us.’

‘Was it you or Joe I saw outside Helen’s flat?’

‘Me.’

‘And at the dog track?’

‘That was Joe.’

‘So it was Joe that was involved in the dog doping.’

‘Yes.’

‘Did Helen know?’

‘Helen didn’t know where we were or what Joe was doing. She didn’t know I had been following her. That I had found her.’

‘Found her?’

‘It’s a long story and I’m going to tell you most of it. Then what you do is up to you.’

 

When it was time to go back Elise and Danny met at Charing Cross. They had come up to London together, simply telling Helen that they needed a day out to cheer themselves up. They had been vague about where they were going and left Helen with the impression that they were going along the coast to somewhere like Whitstable where they had found a good fish restaurant. They felt guilty about misleading her but they each had their reasons.

When they arrived in London they had been surprised to see the sandbags protecting the public buildings, wardens wearing tin helmets, and the number of men in uniform in the busy streets. Women, too.

‘This makes the war seem so real,’ Elise said.

‘I know. Elise, are you sure you want to do this?’

‘Absolutely.’

‘Good luck then.’

After that they had parted, Danny to go to his meeting with Matthew in Stefano’s and Elise to meet up with her old friend Shirley Chapman. When they returned home and were sitting round the table in the family room, Elise told Helen where she had been and why.

‘You want to be a nurse?’ Helen said.

‘I do.’

‘You never said anything to me.’

‘That’s because I wasn’t sure if I’d be accepted. A matter of pride.’

‘When did you first think of it?’

‘I started thinking on the beach that day when you told me I should do something with my life. I thought very hard and couldn’t come up with anything at first but when it became clear that war was inevitable and I faced the prospect of being summoned to work in a munitions factory, I thought a little harder. I knew that if we had to go to war, I wanted to do something to put people together again rather than blow them to bits. Nursing it would be.

‘Then by sheer coincidence I got a letter from Shirley Chapman saying pretty much the same thing. You knew I’d been writing to her?’

‘I did.’

‘And you didn’t mind?’

‘Of course not.’

‘Shirley is the only one of my old school friends who bothered to keep in touch. I always had the feeling that Annette didn’t like me very much, and as for Ernestine, she’s so taken up with high society that I don’t believe she writes to any of us.’

‘So your friend Shirley also wants to be a nurse?’ Helen said.

‘She does. And we both had an interview today with a very fearsome lady. The result being that we’ve both been accepted for nursing training, although we don’t know yet which hospital we’ll be going to, or even whether we’ll be able to stay together.’

‘So Danny came with you to London?’ Helen said.

‘Erm, that’s right. It was good having him there.’

‘When will you be going?’

‘I was told to settle my affairs.’ Elise smiled. ‘What on earth does that mean?’

‘It means you should get your life in order,’ Joe volunteered. ‘Because you might not be coming home for a while.’

Elise’s smile faded. ‘Yes,’ she sighed. ‘I know that. Anyway, I’ll be getting a letter any day now with a list of what I need to take with me and telling me where to go.’

Nobody spoke for a while and, seeing how downcast Helen looked, Elise said, ‘I will be allowed to come home and see you all now and then, you know.’

Helen made an effort to smile. ‘Of course you will. And I’m very pleased you have made the choice you have. Our mother would have been proud of you.’

Elise looked sad. ‘I don’t remember her as well as you do, you know. But I remember she worked hard and there was always something to eat and she always managed to be cheerful. Things went wrong for all of us when she died.’

‘But Helen got us together again and things began to go right again,’ Danny said. ‘And if we have to part now, at least we’ll be able to keep in touch.’

Helen, alerted by something in Danny’s tone and by the way he had glanced briefly at Joe, said, ‘What is it? There’s something you haven’t told me, isn’t there?’

The twins looked at each other again and after a nod from Danny Joe reached into his pocket and drew out a brown envelope. He handed it to Helen.

‘Go on – have a look,’ he said.

The envelope contained more than one document. Helen spread them on the table and after a stunned moment she looked up.

‘You’ve joined the army,’ she said.

‘Yes. I decided not to wait until I was called up. It was going to happen anyway, so I decided I might as well get it over with.’

‘When are you going?’

‘Tomorrow. To Aldershot. That’s my travel warrant,’ he said, pointing to one of the documents on the table. ‘And Danny has helped me to get my affairs in order!’

He said that with a grin but again Helen thought there was something passing between the twins that they did not want her to know about. Danny caught her speculative look and smiled.

‘But I suppose you know that you’re not going to get rid of me!’

‘I don’t want to.’

‘What if I’d wanted to be a hero like Joe? Oh, I went along for the medical just in case, but whereas Joe passed A1 I was deemed completely unfit to be a member of the armed forces. So I’ll be staying here to help you run our own little garrison and make life as cheerful and comfortable as possible for anyone who is billeted with us. And talking of them, it’s time to get on with the evening meal. Action stations, everyone!’

‘No,’ Helen said. ‘Mr and Mrs Fearon are perfectly capable of managing on their own. Elise and I will set this table while you, Joe, go along to the off-licence for a bottle of champagne.’

‘Champagne?’ Danny said. ‘We don’t have any caviar.’

‘We don’t need any,’ Helen told him. ‘Because you, Danny, are going along to Bill’s Fish Bar for cod and chips for four. And mind you ask for extra batter.’

 

Very early the next morning, before anyone else was up, Joe and Danny had breakfast in the kitchen and then they walked together to the station. Joe had said goodbye to his sisters the night before and had insisted that he didn’t want them to see him off.

‘I’ll probably blub like a baby if you do,’ he’d told them, ‘and that’s not the sort of memory I want to leave you with.’

While they were waiting for the train Joe said, ‘Do you think he’ll come?’

‘I do.’

‘And will he feel obliged to turn me in?’

‘I think that’s unlikely.’

‘Because he’s in love with Helen?’

‘Well, there is that, but he’s also an intelligent grown-up man who realizes that you would be much more useful serving King and country as a soldier than mouldering in prison for crimes you committed when you were just a kid.’

‘I haven’t just joined up because of that, you know.’

‘I know that, Joe. I’m your twin brother, remember? I know you wanted to do the right thing.’

‘How much did you tell him?’

Danny knew what Joe meant. ‘Nothing about Tod Walker. I said we ran away from Haven House because we were miserable there.’

‘And he believed you?’

‘Why shouldn’t he? We were only kids and we’d just lost our mother. But try to forget about that, Joe. Go off and be a hero!’

Danny stayed on the platform and watched as the train carrying his twin brother off to war drew away. Whatever happened in the future, he knew that Joe would never entirely forget what had happened on the cliff top. The memory would haunt him for the rest of his life.

 

‘You look dreadful,’ Danny told Helen when he returned to find her hunched over the table in the family room.

‘Thanks a lot!’

‘Too much champagne. Joe should never have bought two bottles.’

‘It’s not just the champagne, you know,’ Helen said. ‘I didn’t sleep very well.’

‘I don’t think any of us did.’

‘Well, Elise is asleep right now. You know how difficult she finds it to get up in the mornings. I don’t know how she’s going to cope with nursing training.’

‘Don’t worry. She’ll cope. Like she said, she has too much pride to give in and make a mess of things. Do you think you could manage a cup of coffee? I know I need one.’

Helen spurned the toast he had made but while she sipped her coffee she smiled at her brother and said, ‘How did you get to be so wise, Danny?’

‘Whatever you mean by wise I think it’s because I’ve had more time to think. With not being able to be as physically active as Joe I’ve had to put my energy into my thinking processes.’

‘Maybe you’re right,’ Helen said, ‘but when you were little you were always the more thoughtful of the two.’

‘Perhaps I was just lazy. Letting Joe go ahead while I followed. Are you feeling any better, by the way?’

‘Yes, a little.’

‘Well, why don’t you wash and dress and go for a walk along the promenade. The fresh air will be good for you.’

‘I’d like to, but the guests will be down for breakfast soon.’

‘And the Fearons will be arriving any minute. Off you go and give me the chance to see if I can manage without Joe. You’d be doing me a favour.’

‘All right. But promise to let Elise wallow in bed a little longer. This could be her last chance of a lie-in.’

 

When Matthew arrived at the house in Folkestone her brother Danny opened the door.

‘I’m glad you came,’ he said.

‘Did you think I wouldn’t?’

‘Who can tell? It’s been a while since you’ve seen each other, hasn’t it?’

‘And whose fault is that?’

‘I thought we agreed to let all that stay in the past.’

‘Are you going to let me in, or are you going to keep me here while you question me?’

‘You can come in and wait if you like. I’ll even give you some breakfast. But Helen has gone for a walk along the promenade. Why don’t you go and catch up with her?’

Trying not to show how irritated he was by Danny’s admittedly reasonable manner, he turned and almost fell down the steps, righting himself at the last moment. If he says anything, anything at all, I’ll punch him, Matthew thought and immediately felt ashamed of himself.

No matter that Helen’s brothers had been responsible for all the misery since she had left him; they were trying to do the right thing now. Or at least this one was. And if he was to be believed his twin brother would already have departed to join the army. That meant he still had to meet Helen’s sister, Elise, who, amazingly, was Hugh and Selma Partington’s adopted daughter. The girl who had eloped with that rotter Perry Wallace and whose story had been all over the newspapers.

Poor girl. Afraid of scandal, they had dumped her pretty quickly. But that was just as well, Matthew thought. For Helen – wonderful, adorable Helen – had been able to step in and retrieve the lost girl, making sure that her family was together again. To do this she had sacrificed her own happiness.

As he strode along the quiet morning streets Matthew was determined that that state of affairs was going to change.

He saw her from a distance. She was standing still, with her coat collar turned up and her hands in her pockets as she gazed out across the sea.

‘Helen,’ he said quietly when he was close enough.

She turned towards him and her eyes opened wide with dismay. ‘Oh, no,’ she said.

He couldn’t help smiling. ‘That’s a nice greeting. I was hoping you’d be pleased to see me.’

‘I am! It’s just that you shouldn’t . . . I shouldn’t . . . I can’t explain.’

‘You don’t have to. I know why you ran away. Danny came to see me and told me about Joe working at the dog track and how he got drawn into the doping and how you felt you had to protect him.’

‘Of course I had to protect him. He’s my brother and I’d already let him down once.’

‘No, you hadn’t, Helen. It wasn’t your fault that your family got split up, and you’ve certainly done enough for them now. So will you please be quiet and consider doing something for me.’ As he spoke he took her in his arms and turned her round so that she was facing him.

‘What,’ she said. ‘What do you want me to do?’

‘First of all I want you to kiss me, and then I want you to promise never to run away from me again, and to make sure of that I want you to marry me.’

Helen laughed. ‘In that order?’

‘In that order.’ He lowered his face towards hers but before their lips met he stopped. ‘You do realize that I will be going to France, don’t you?’

‘As a reporter with the British army?’

He nodded.

‘Must you?’

‘You know I must.’

‘Yes, I do,’ she said.

As they kissed her joy was tempered by the bitter-sweet realization that they would soon be parted. They would have to face the years ahead with courage and pray that one day they would all be together again.