“So I could have believed my eyes that night?” Alec’s tone was as neutral as his expression had remained over the past hour. If not for their previous relationship, Nella might have thought he accepted everything without question.
Might have figured that bringing him here, to the hotel room she had booked while on this mission, was a neutral thing, too. She’d needed to come here to pick up items necessary for her part in their operation. He was supposed to accompany her as her backup. They would go after the thumb drive that night.
So here they were. Sitting momentarily on the uncomfortable sofa in a generic hotel room that smelled of cleaning solution. Pretending to be strangers.
Well, hell, they were strangers now. Sure, she used to know him well, or so she’d believed. Now she didn’t know him at all…and that brought back all kinds of old hurt.
Even as the king-size bed across the room brought back memories of another kind…
“Could have believed your eyes?” she responded as offhandedly as she could. “Sure. Would have? Well, I knew you wouldn’t. And didn’t. So that was that.”
“So that became your reason to dump me.”
Nella closed her eyes briefly, then opened them to glare into Alec’s indifferent brown ones. Lord, how she wanted to goad him. Make him drop his ironclad control. Bring back the best of their hot memories.
Grab him, tear off the rest of his clothes—he had already removed his jacket and tie—and make love with him for the rest of the night, instead of carrying out their mission.
As if.
“I didn’t dump you,” she said with a shrug of one shoulder. “Not really.” She picked up the large leather bag from the floor beside her, unzipped it and pulled out a couple of items, including the bottle of very special Alpha Force elixir that she had brought from Fort Lukman. “You made a huge fuss out there in the woods, then ran off.” Not that she’d dared run after him, not when her change had already occurred. “Next day when we got together, you tried to pretend nothing had happened, only you looked at me like some kind of freak. Which, to you, I was. You rationalized it all. You’d hallucinated after getting drunk—again. After promising you’d stop. Really drank too much that time, you kept saying. At least I felt relatively sure you wouldn’t give me away. Not when you didn’t believe it yourself. Even so, I couldn’t live with your attitude and figured you couldn’t accept the truth. So that was that.”
A pat description of the end of a relationship that Nella had thought, for a little while, would go on forever. She had imagined she would find a way to bring up the subject of shape-shifters in a straightforward manner, get Alec to accept the possibility and then let him in on what she was.
Instead, she had kept it to herself.
“That wasn’t that.” The words were spoken so low that Nella almost thought she imagined them. She turned to look at him.
Ah, finally. He was no longer in complete control. He glared at her with fury. And something else. Something that turned her to hot flowing lava everywhere inside.
He wanted her. Still. And did she want him? Hell, yes. But that couldn’t be. Not with what had passed between them.
“If you’d bothered to talk to me after that,” he said, his tone ominously intense, “you’d have found out how angry I was with myself. Yeah, I’d been drinking. Again.” He raised one large hand as if to stave off whatever she was about to say. His eyes glinted, and his handsome features seemed to turn even sharper with anger. “You knew I was always drinking then. It was college. My first time away from hell—I mean, home.”
She knew the slip was intentional. That had been one of the things that had drawn her to him in the first place. Admiration. And caring. Because he had grown up in such a hellish household as a child and had risen beyond it.
“But, yeah, I’d also promised you I’d stop. And meant it. But that night I slipped. Know why?”
She sat utterly still, the memories of that night washing over her. In premed she had majored in wildlife ecology, an unusual choice, and it had been such a great excuse to tell him each month that she had to go on a camping trip to observe a nocturnal bird that only appeared during the full moon.
“To see the Wisconsin lunar owl?” That was the type of bird she had claimed to be watching—very rare. So rare as to be nearly extinct.
So rare as to be nonexistent.
She looked away from those piercing eyes again, pretending to concentrate on the bag on her lap.
“I was majoring in poli-sci before law school,” he said. “Didn’t give a damn about birds, even pretend ones.” She looked up in surprise. “Yeah, I knew it was a ruse. I’d done my homework, knew that kind of owl existed only in your imagination. Or something. I suspected you had a guy on the side you slept with every month. Worked myself up to punch him out and dump you that night. That was why I was drunk. Real drunk. Then when I caught up with you, saw you look up at the full moon and turn into a cat, I figured I was having the d.t.’s.” He stood, fists clenched at his sides as if he again considered punching someone. He closed his eyes, apparently trying to get control. When he opened them again he said, “Since then, I haven’t had another drink. Oh, a beer now and then, but only on special occasions. I remain in control. Period. But you…you avoided me later when I tried to get the truth. Apologize. Whatever. You stopped talking to me for good.”
Tears rose into Nella’s eyes, and she kept her face averted. “I…My family…It’s important that what we are stays secret, especially then, when we weren’t in contact with others like us. I was so afraid you’d tell other people, that word would get out. It was so much easier just to be angry. To agree you were made crazy by the alcohol and hallucinated. Then not to take the chance you’d see me change again. Especially when you made it clear you despised anything you couldn’t understand.”
“But it turns out I wasn’t hallucinating.” He grimaced, obviously not fully accepting it even now. “Hell, I’d no idea woo-woo stuff like werewolves and shape-shifting lynxes could exist. And now I learn that my boss, a guy I really respect, has been secretly making sure that funds are appropriated for your classified military group where everyone supposedly shape-shifts.” He shook his head as if trying to clear it.
She rose. One way or another, she had to make him understand. Of course Congressman Crowther and General Yarrow had pledged Alec to secrecy—and trusted him to comply. He had top-secret security clearance, and this was absolutely confidential.
Plus, they had discussed Alec’s qualifications before leaving the general’s office. Sort of. Without revealing any details. But Nella had understood that nothing would stop Alec from doing his assignment for the congressman. Nothing.
And she? Well, she certainly hoped he could be trusted. And she needed to do all she could to encourage it.
“Not everyone in Alpha Force shape-shifts,” she said softly. “Those who don’t are animal trainers and other backup who help us in exercises and in the field. Each of us has the kind of animal we shift into as a pet, to help with our cover. We’re a last resort, able to sneak into situations that military troops, with their kind of strength, can’t handle.”
For the first time, he smiled. She loved that smile. It lit up his whole face, reminding her of the way he used to smile at her. And his eyes softened. As if he gave a damn about her once more. Still.
Which nearly made her melt—even if she was reading too much into his expression.
“I can see you with a pet cat,” he said softly. “Right from the first, without knowing or even imagining that you were…well, kind of feline yourself, I thought of you as resembling a cat, in the best of ways. Soft and sleek and self-contained, yet lovely. Aloof when you wanted to be, but a sex kitten in bed. With those observant, teasing eyes. Your hair was—is—the sexiest mane I’d ever seen. And…”
Nella wasn’t sure which of them moved first. More likely it was simultaneous. But quite suddenly she found herself in Alec’s strong embrace, held tightly against his chest. Oh, yes, it was still firm. Buff. Sexy as hell, or so it seemed through his clothes. She wanted to pull his shirt off.
But before she could act, his mouth was on hers, kissing her, familiarly yet differently. Hotter. Even sexier than ever, if that was possible. His tongue slipped into her mouth, exploring. Tasting. And she sparred back with her own.
“Nella,” he whispered raggedly against her. “I’ve never forgotten you.” His hands ranged down her body to grip her buttocks. Hold her even closer.
As she pressed into him she felt the evidence that he was as aroused as she was. She gasped his name.
She tore at his clothes, not like a kitten or even a lynx, but a lioness readying her prey to eat. At the same time, he undressed her, fast, as if he couldn’t wait, either, to bare what was beneath.
In no time they wound up on that bed Nella had tried so hard to ignore. She indulged herself and stared at Alec’s naked body. It was harder, tougher than when he had been a youthful college student. Why was this lawyer, political aide, so well toned? So gorgeous? So sexy?
She didn’t have more time to study him. Not when his lips regained hers, his tongue sliding into her mouth and teasing hers with thrusts and parries as his body rolled on top of hers, also taunting. His hands were between them, cupping her breasts, thumbing her nipples, then lower, lower, until his fingers dipped into her wetness. “Alec,” she moaned, even as she, too, let her hands explore him.
For barely a moment he moved away, only to return with a condom package in his hand. Good move. She ripped it from him, tore it open, then tormented him by insisting on unfurling it around his large, enticing erection. Having so little experience, she moved slowly, carefully, smiling as he groaned.
And then he was inside her, thrusting. This time she screamed his name while meeting his every stroke. Faster. Harder—and then over the top into ecstasy, even as he, too, climaxed.