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No matter what kind of role you play in life, the ability to accurately control and express your emotions can be really important. You also need to be able to understand, interpret, and respond to emotions that others around you have as well. Think about how it would be if you weren't able to tell when one of your close friends was feeling sad or when one of your coworkers was mad at you. When you are not only about to express and control your own emotions but also interpret and understand the emotions of others, you are believed to have emotional intelligence.
To keep things simple, emotional intelligence is going to refer to your ability to perceive, control, and evaluate emotions whether they are your own emotions or emotions that someone else is feeling. Some people have a high emotional intelligence and can control the emotions that they have in many situations while also responding to the emotions of those around you. On the other hand, some people have poor emotional intelligence; these are the individuals who will explode at almost anything and barely take the feelings of others into consideration.
Let's take a look at the difference between someone who has emotional intelligence and someone who doesn't. Our first person is someone who takes life as it comes. They realize that most of the time when things go wrong, it is out of their control rather than seeing it as the world coming after them. They rarely get upset, especially over the little things and know the proper times to show their emotions, such as being happy after a promotion or at a friends' party.
Also, this person responds well to how others are feeling. When a coworker comes and starts yelling at them, they don't get mad back. They realize that something must really be bothering that person and they step up to try and help or make it better. When one of their friends is having a bad day, they talk through it and help that friend feel better. They are in tune with the emotions of others and don't always take the words and actions of others so personally.
Now, let's look at our second person. This person has a hard time controlling their emotions. When they are upset about something, they will explode at others (whether it is that other person's fault or not), they cry easily, and they may have anxiety. These individuals will often have the idea that the world is against them and little things, the things that don't matter that much, will set them off.
When it comes to responding to others, this is barely a thought. They will ignore the feelings of their friends because this doesn't pertain to their own personal feelings. When someone else is mad at them, they think that they are being unfairly treated. The world is against them, and everyone just doesn't understand them.
The first person we met is someone who has a high emotional intelligence. This person knows how to recognize and control their emotions and can even hone in on some of the emotions of others around them. The second person has a low emotional intelligence. They get upset over everything, probably have no idea why they feel the way they do, and they don't even pay attention to the feelings of others. Of course, some variations happen between these two extremes and figuring out your own emotional intelligence can be important for helping you to improve.
Some people believe that you can improve your own emotional intelligence with some hard work. But there are others who feel that this is an inborn characteristic, something that you are born with and that it is really hard, if not impossible to change. There is probably a grain of truth with both. We are all born with a level of emotional intelligence, but we can work to improve ours over time.
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The four parts of emotional intelligence
There are four main factors that are going to determine your emotional intelligence. These include:
● Perceiving emotions: The first thing that you need to do to understand emotions is to learn how to perceive them properly. This can include learning how to recognize nonverbal signals like facial expressions and body language.
● Reasoning with emotions: The next thing that you need to do is using your emotions as a way to promote cognitive activity. This can be hard at first, but emotions can help prioritize what we are paying attention to and reacting to, and we can pay attention to this to learn something about ourselves.
● Understanding emotions: A lot of meanings can come with the emotions that we perceive. For example, if you observe that someone is angry, you may have to take a step back and see why they are angry. A boss may be mad at you for your work because they got in trouble with their boss, they fought with their wife, got a speeding ticket, or for a whole host of other reasons and someone with emotional intelligence will be able to recognize this.
● Managing emotions: Next is the ability to manage your emotions effectively. You need to be able to regulate your emotions, find an appropriate response, and then responding will all be important parts of your emotional management.
There are several ways that you can measure your emotional intelligence. Some tests can be done to check on this, but it is also possible to figure out your own emotional intelligence and change it with some work. By learning how to recognize your emotions, what is causing them, and the appropriate response to the situation at hand, you can easily improve your own emotional intelligence in no time.
So why would you want to spend your time working on emotional intelligence? There are actually quite a few situations in your life where a high emotional intelligence can make a big difference. For example, in the workplace. Employees who have a higher emotional intelligence are the ones who perform better because they pick out jobs that are passions of theirs, do better with other employees, can persuade other people to their ideas, and also avoid conflicts. Think about how some of these skills could help you in your own career, whether you are trying to advance or just stay on top. Everyone could use a brush up on these skills to help them do better in the workplace.
But one area where you will really see the benefit of working with emotional intelligence is in your relationships, whether these are with a partner, with your family, or even your co-workers. Each person that you encounter is going to have their own feelings and being able to recognize these and respond properly will make it so much easier for you to get along with them. And when conflict does arise, you will be able to keep your emotions in check, preventing a bigger blowout than is necessary no matter what kind of relationship you are trying to work on.
Emotional intelligence is something that everyone can improve upon, and there are so many benefits to it. But it is important to realize that it is also a skill that takes some time to master. You will not be able to wake up after practicing for a day or two and have total control over your emotions. In fact, this is probably something that you will have to work on for the rest of your life. But when you understand this from the start and work hard to observe, understand, and manage your emotions you will be able to reach your goals in no time.
