Chapter 37

Sitting alone in her living room, Alice relived the bittersweet reconciliation with her sister a couple of weeks earlier, and there were tears once again. She was torn between blaming herself for missing so many years of family time, and congratulating herself for having the courage to change it now. She and her sister had begun talking more, and her nieces had each accepted her apology graciously. She had gone back to her sister’s home to speak with the girls, to explain more about her life, to tell them about the child she had given up, and to explain how the current crisis had caused her to look at her entire life. She intended to become the best aunt she could be, the best sister she could be.

Now, with a big emotional transformation under way, Alice also wished she could think of a way to open doors with Daniel. Curiously, Daniel had been thinking about Alice since his release from jail. He had been impressed with the way she had defended him, and seemed to respect him - more than he had imagined. He knew that he was finally ready to approach her, but spent a lot of time mulling over the best way to do it. Should he knock on her office door and ask her to dinner? Phone her at home? Write her a letter? He wasn’t sure, but knew he had to do something soon before the right moment passed and it was too late. Daniel was now convinced that Alice cared about him, and might be sharing some of the same thoughts. He knew that Alice would never be the first one to reach out, so it would be up to him.

Finally he had a plan. Early one morning, he knocked on the door of her office. He had bought a small bouquet of flowers at the florist around the corner from the Kimmel Center. He had put them into a paper bag so that nobody else would see them. Daniel was nervous, and relieved when Alice quickly said, “Come in.” He removed the bouquet from the bag before opening the door.

“Yes, Daniel?” she said, her manner as cool as it had ever been. But he felt her warmth when she saw the flowers. A little color sprang into her cheeks. She was slightly embarrassed as he walked up to her desk and handed them to her.

“These are for you,” he said, immediately annoyed that he had uttered such obvious words.

“Daniel, thank you! They are beautiful. What’s the occasion? Oh, how rude of me. Please sit down. Would you like some water?”

“No thanks,” Daniel said, taking a seat in one of the two chairs opposite her desk. “The occasion...how I can explain? I hope you won’t mind if I tell you, Alice - I’ve been thinking about you a great deal for the past few weeks. I...I was hoping....perhaps you would consider....coming out to dinner with me.” There, he had said it. Now all he had to do was to wait for her response. She was silent for what seemed to him like a very long time.

“Do you mean on a date, Daniel? You and me...on a date?”

He knew it. She was going to laugh at him. She hated the idea. His face was flushed. He felt flustered.

“Yes, that’s the idea.” Daniel said softly, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“Well, yes. I would be delighted. I would very much like to go on a date with you, Daniel.”

Daniel exhaled, realizing he hadn’t taken a breath for a while. And inhaled. His shoulders dropped, his hands relaxed, and there was a big smile on his face.

“Great. That’s wonderful. How about tomorrow evening?” He wanted to say ‘this evening,’ but realized it would be too rushed, too forward of him.

“I’ll be finished around six. We could go from here if you like,” Alice said. “It’s very nice of you to ask,” she added, wondering if she sounded too eager, too happy, and then not caring at all how she had sounded.

“OK. I’ll leave you to work. I’ll suggest a couple of nice restaurants and you can decide.” He turned and left, giving an awkward wave, which made her smile.

Suddenly Daniel felt lighter, younger. He could not believe his good fortune - all these weeks of worrying and Alice might have said yes three weeks ago. As soon as his work was finished for the day, he would think of the best restaurants in the area that he could afford. Something elegant, quiet, and modest. He wondered if Alice felt as good as he did at this moment. He wanted to go back into her office and embrace her but fought the urge.

Daniel got little sleep that night. He was so surprised and thrilled that Alice had agreed to go out on a date with him. As the night progressed, he began to worry - that she wouldn’t really like him, that after their first date she would realize how uninteresting he was and not agree to see him again. Alternatively, he worried that she would like him, they would continue dating, and eventually there would have to be some progress toward intimacy. He would take it slow and easy, but it had been a long time since Daniel had made love to a woman. What if he couldn’t remember how, or was awkward, or...well, there were any number of embarrassing scenarios taking place in his mind. Stop it, he thought to himself. It’s only one dinner. It will go well or it won’t. She probably hasn’t been on a date in a long time either.

Daniel knew of her reputation as cold and hard-hearted, even though he was certain he could reach below Alice’s surface to find the warmth underneath. She had seemed so pleased with his flowers, and his invitation. Once again, he felt hopeful.

It was nearly four a.m. by the time Daniel fell asleep. He had exhausted himself worrying, and he finally forced himself to close his eyes on the most positive thoughts he could muster. He took a few deep breaths and fell asleep, not happy when the alarm rang at seven a.m. He had to be at the hall early to supervise setting things up for the next rehearsal.

Daniel was tired and wondered how he would get through a day of work followed by his first date with Alice. He selected two possible restaurants, a pretty Italian place called “Antonio’s Trattoria” and “Eddie’s Café”, an American restaurant that he knew well. He was hoping she would choose the Italian place, which had a more romantic atmosphere.

His first stop was Alice’s office. He presented her with the options, and she chose the Italian restaurant, saying it was one of her favorites. Ten points in his favor. He smiled and said, “I’ll be back for you at 6.” After work, he had enough time to go home, shower, and change. Alice was nicely dressed, he thought. He would wear a dark-colored suit that he had been saving for a special occasion.

Daniel’s day seemed to drag on and on. At 3, he had finished everything and was ready to go home. I’m in the final stretch, he thought. He took a nap for an hour, then got up, made a pot of coffee, drank two cups, (cream, no sugar) and ate a blueberry muffin from a supermarket package that started out with six and had three left. He practiced breathing deeply and remaining calm. He took half an hour to wake himself up, then took a shower, got dressed, and looked in the mirror, combing his hair and wondering if he looked good enough to be Alice’s companion for the evening. Women had always told him he had an interesting and expressive face. He rarely heard himself described as handsome.

It was 5:30 p.m., time to leave. Daniel checked to make sure his wallet was in his pocket, locked his door, and got into his car, a five-year old Toyota Camry. He always kept it immaculately clean. He took his handkerchief and removed a tiny smudge from the dashboard, and some dust that had collected over the speedometer. He checked that no papers were on the back seat, and nothing above the visors. Satisfied, he turned the key and drove toward the hall. It was 5:55 when he was parked and outside Alice’s office door. 5:58 when he knocked. Alice opened the door, purse in hand and jacket on.

“I’m ready,” she said. “Let’s go.”

Daniel led the way out through the side door closest to her office. He opened the car door for her, and she got in, placing her small purse on her lap, with her hands carefully folded. Their conversation was hesitant on the way to the restaurant. They had never made small talk before - all of their previous discussions had been about the orchestra and the hall--and this was new for both of them. Tentatively, Daniel asked Alice if she had any family in Philadelphia.

“A sister and three nieces,” she said. “And what about you, Daniel?”

“Not much in the way of family. A nephew in New Jersey, but that’s about it. Well, he is married with three children, but I don’t see them very often - just at holidays primarily.”

Both seemed relieved when the restaurant was in view. Daniel decided on valet parking, which he rarely did. But it was better than messing with a parking space on the street when he was still nervous. The last thing he needed was for Alice to believe he could not parallel park a car.

The restaurant, Antonio’s, had a cozy feeling. Daniel and Alice were immediately ushered to a corner table large enough for four but set for two.

As soon as they were seated, Alice said, “Thank you for asking me, Daniel. I’ve thought a lot about my life recently, and realized it’s just been work, work, work. The orchestra murders have shaken me up, made me realize that I’m not the person I want to be, or should be. I know this may sound incredibly forward of me, (she paused for a long time, and took a deep breath to fortify herself) but I have thought of you. When you were arrested, I was terribly upset.”

Daniel was stunned, speechless. Luckily he did not have to speak yet. Alice continued,

“I knew at that moment. There you were, a lovely, innocent man, accused of a terrible crime. Suddenly I cared, and I wished I’d been nicer to you - not the cold bitch they all think I am. So this is a long way of saying that when you asked me out, I was touched, and honored, and I hope this will not be our only date.” Then she stopped speaking. It was, without a doubt, Daniel’s turn now. He had to catch his breath, which had disappeared somewhere.

“Alice, you have no idea how much that means to me. I’ve wanted to ask you out for a long time, but I didn’t have the nerve. I was sure you would say no. My arrest was the turning point for me as well - you were the one person who cared, who came to see me, who stood up for me. I wanted to say something then, but it seemed so inappropriate at the time. If you are willing, we can think of this as the beginning...of a new adventure.”

They had been conversing for five minutes, and it was the beginning of a new life for each of them. The rest of the evening was comfortable. They laughed at their own fears and concerns, and when dinner was finished Daniel put his arm around Alice’s shoulder as they walked to the car, and she reciprocated by putting her arm around his waist. He drove her to her apartment building, kissed her gently on the cheek, and walked her to the door of her building.

“Thank you,” he said. “I’ll knock on your office door in the morning. And we’ll set another date.”

“Yes, let’s do that,” she said. And he stood at the door, watching her disappear inside the building. He wondered how many more dates they would have before she would invite him in. He was no longer worried about what was to come. Daniel exhaled, and smiled. He slept well that night.