April’s mother had warned her enough about the danger of her “little rebellions” that she’d often imagined what it might be like to end up behind bars. She’d even figured out numerous versions of “Kiss? Marry? Kill?” in order to make nice with her cellmates.
It was slightly disappointing when she’d woken up to find herself alone in a tidy cell with a healthy sandwich at her elbow before being escorted by a perfectly nice police officer who sat her down next to an empty desk, then made her a cup of quite good coffee.
The fact that her shoes squelched as she walked was a mystery all to itself.
“Ms. Swanson’s lawyer’s here,” another officer said as he passed.
Her lawyer?
April tried to squeeze out a memory of calling a lawyer. Trouble was, she couldn’t remember anything after leaving The Burrow. She pictured JJ ordering more cocktails. Erica making her drink them. Lots of talk about Finn, and the Cinderella Project, and sisterly solidarity, and Wonder Woman, and Finn. But after that it was a big fuzzy blank.
Besides, she’d didn’t know any lawyers. Meaning she must have called... Oh, no.
April scanned the squad room looking for her mother’s pinched-faced attorney. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d come to April’s rescue on her mother’s say so. Starting back with ‘little rebellion’ number one – a week after her dad left she’d released the high school lab mice in the principal’s office citing their civil liberties.
Instead, a glamorous blonde in a stunning, cream suit and sky-high heels caught her eye when another officer pointed her out.
“April Swanson,” the blonde said as she approached.
April stood, running her hands over her crumpled party dress and messy hair. Was it damp too?
“Margot Hayes,” the blonde said, her handshake had the same spare efficiency as the rest of her. “You’re free to go. I’ll have the charges dismissed by this afternoon.”
“Thank you. I appreciate it. Can I ask what those charges might be?”
A smile flittered past the woman’s cool eyes. “You don’t remember?”
“Not a thing.”
“Hotel Rouen? Middle of the night? A fountain?”
It all came back to her in a rush.
In what had felt like a fit of divine inspiration, April had convinced the girls that finishing their night with a stay at the hotel in which she’d first met Finn would cure all her ills. Going full circle, tying off her link to the Cinderella Project in a nice, big bow.
Then, as JJ signed them in, April had seen the fountain sparkling in the discreet late night. The hero of the piece, all stony and silent, had called to her. April... April... You know you want to...
The wet shoes and damp hair now made perfect, mortifying sense.
“I swam in the fountain in the lobby of the Hotel Rouen. I took off my dress and splashed about in my undies and bra like a two-year-old in a mud puddle.” But that wasn’t all. “Oh, god, I broke his you know what, didn’t I?”
“At which point you allegedly sobered up rather quickly, saw the error of your ways, and begged to be allowed to glue it back on yourself. An offer they declined. It was so late at night only staff witnessed the incident. You have a steady job, strong family connections. This is a first offence. As an adult at least. You’ve been given a free pass, Ms. Swanson.” Ms. Hayes raised her eyebrows. “It won’t happen again, will it? You simply had a bad day. Am I right?”
April nodded. “The worst. But I actually didn’t ask for a lawyer. And, by the looks of those shoes, I’m not sure I can afford you.”
A world of thinking occurred behind Margot’s eyes in that split second. “Not a concern. My grandmother has taken care of it.”
“Your—”
“Hazel.”
Margot motioned to a nearby officer. Made some squiggly movement with her hand which April figured was a “signing paperwork” type sign.
“JJ called Hazel after the incident,” Margot said, answering April’s unspoken question. “Quite vociferous was she in making sure my grandmother was aware of her alleged culpability.” Margot breathed out through her nose. “On your behalf, Hazel has no doubt whispered in the right ears, greased the right palms, used up many favours. Take them. She deserves it. She has no idea what she is doing, messing in people’s lives the way she does. I only hope this is a lesson to her. Even while I know that it’s a hopeless hope.”
“Hope is never hopeless.”
“No?” Margot glanced at her watch. It was big, robust and ancient. Huge on her delicate wrist, yet somehow it suited her to a ‘T’.
“Hope is everything.”
Margot looked at her then, her icy-blue gaze taking in the rumpled dress, the kinky waves, the no doubt smushed makeup, the soggy shoes, dangling from April’s hand.
Then shot her a smile, lips pressed tightly together. “I’m sure you’re right. Let’s get you out of here.”
Paperwork signed, April was released and the women walked out into the early afternoon sunshine of a bright, sunny Sydney day, the city all washed clean after the rain of the day before, to find Hazel herself pacing up and down the footpath.
“Darling,” Hazel said, hurrying over – clack-clack-clack – and kissing her granddaughter on the cheek. Then, “April. That whole thing with Finn at the party... I was so worried when I heard you’d left. Then JJ called me early this morning, ranting about good intentions not meaning a thing unless they came with action to back them up. And here you are. My poor bedraggled kitten.”
April waited for Hazel to finish. By then she’d managed to find her voice. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“I’m glad you’re glad.”
“Because while I appreciate whatever efforts you took to spring me from the big house, I’m taking this opportunity to hereby sever all ties with the Cinderella Project.”
Margot stopped looking at her watch and her eyes flickered between April and Hazel.
“Pardon?” said Hazel.
“What did I say to you, right back at the beginning? I didn’t want to be set up with some guy!”
“Finn Ward is hardly ‘some guy’—”
“Grandmother,” Margot said, “you offered this girl up to Finn? Frank’s Finn?”
April shot Margot a quelling glance. Margot didn’t even flinch.
Turning back to Hazel, April said, “Again, not the point! And did it ever occur to you that because he’s not just some guy that I might actually fall for him? For a man who has made it his life’s mission not to let anyone get too close as he’s terrified he’ll hurt them the way his father hurt him? Did it ever occur to you that when I found out you’d put him in that bar as a tasting sample that the fact that I had fallen for him didn’t matter because the entire thing was built on a lie?”
Hazel stilled. Sunlight sparking off the diamonds in her ears.
“You’ve fallen for him? I am so good at my job, I can barely stand it!”
April threw her hands in the air in resignation.
Then Hazel moved in, grabbed April’s eye contact and held it. “Think back, darling. Right to the beginning. What was your one, great wish?”
“To get the promotion, of course.”
“Yes. Did our efforts – unusual as they may have been – work?”
A muscle twitched under April’s eye as she wondered if she and Erica had broken poor Jase down so much he’d give in, meaning if she got the job it would be by default. “I’m actually not sure.”
“Are you closer to getting the promotion than you were before meeting me?”
“Fine. I’m closer.”
Hazel took April by the cheeks. “Then what are you so worked up about?”
April wavered on the sunny sidewalk – tired, starving, hungover, and confused. It was a good question. What was she so worked up about? “I think I made the wrong wish.”
“And there it is. Oh, sweet girl.”
Hazel’s eyes softened. Then she wrapped her arms around April and drew her into a hug. Tight, warm, and comforting. April sank into the hug, not able to remember the last time her own mother had held her like this.
“Then lucky for you, your fairy godmother is here to save the day.”
Her voice muffled, April said, “It doesn’t matter. He’s leaving.”
“Oh, that’s right,” Hazel said, voice light as air. “Later tonight, in fact.”
“What?”
“Our Finn is heading to California tonight. Wonderful job offer. No that it could hold a candle to working for my Frank. But, perhaps, it’s for the best.”
April had no idea she was shaking her head, and hard, until a lock of hair slapped her in the eyeball.
She dragged it away and said, “It’s not for the best. He’s only taking that job because he thinks that’s what is best for you. And Frank. And me. He thinks he needs to protect us all. Like some bloody knight in shining bloody armour. The man is so bloody stubborn, so impossible, so wonderful he would give up everything he’s worked so hard for to save us all.”
“Well, darling,” Hazel said, a twinkle in her eye, “it seems only right that one of us return the favour. Don’t you think?”
Hazel’s phone rang. She dug it out of her purse and smirked at the screen.
“Television darling. Must answer. We’ll talk soon?”
Then Hazel was off, climbing into her stunning, old white convertible, her hot, young driver snapping the door shut before whisking her away.
April nodded. Then shook her head. No matter what came next, her time with the Cinderella Project really was over.
And not because of Hazel’s calamitous, meddling ways. But because Hazel had done her job.
Because for all her big talk April hadn’t gone looking for just a promotion – she’d gone looking for why her life didn’t feel like her own. And she’d found out. Through Hazel’s crazy machinations, April had found herself.
It hadn’t taken a makeover – not shinier hair, prettier clothes, or a new attitude. It had taken facing her greatest fear – the fear of loving someone deeply enough to trust them with her heart. She’d done it. She’d fallen for Finn. Every damn, frustrating, stubborn, stoic, gorgeous bit of him. Not perfectly, not without mistakes and mess and misunderstandings. But she loved him all the same. And she’d survived to tell the tale.
Margot, who was now leaning against a sleek, cream, vintage Mustang at the curb, said, “Can I drop you somewhere?”
While the idea of taking a spin in such a fabulous car was tempting, the impulse didn’t grab her. Either the big house had given her little rebellions a bit of a scare, or she had a bigger urge to follow. “I think I need to walk.”
Margot threw her briefcase into the back of her car. Then turned and pinned her with a cool blue stare. “You could sue her, you know. False advertising. Emotional distress. You’d have a case.”
“I’m not going to sue your grandmother, Margot.”
“Probably a smart move. You’d need a really good lawyer. Because I’m exceptional. Good luck to you, Ms. Swanson.”
“Same to you, Ms. Hayes.”
Margot smiled, as if luck had never come into it, and drove away with her car rumbling broodily for blocks.
April looked down the street. The day was bright and clear. Life zooming around her as people went about their normal, comfortable, ho-hum days.
While April had spent her life wishing for normal, for comfortable, for ho-hum, she felt a frisson of freeing possibility in knowing that for her ho-hum was simply not meant to be.
She slipped her phone out of her bag, hoping it hadn’t taken the trip to the fountain with her, and saw, with deep, foreboding regret, the number she had last called.
Stan.
Hours earlier. Middle of the night. And the call had gone for a whole five minutes.
Which was when she also realised it was a Monday and instead of being at work, proving she was the right person for the job she’d been so gung ho for, she was standing outside a police station in damp party clothes.
Wincing, she pressed the call button.
“April,” Stan’s voice answered.
Hand over her eyes, April cleared her throat. “Stan. Please allow me to apologise. Profusely. I can’t exactly remember what we talked about last night so my apologies can’t be specific but I hope a blanket apology will suffice. And if you could forget it ever happened then I will make up for it for the rest of my natural life.”
Stan paused.
April held her breath.
“The thing is, April, I’m not sure that I can forget.”
April bit her lip.
“You had a lot to say about the business; my running of it, your position with regards to it. Let me check my notes.”
April held a hand over her mouth and stared at the sky till her eyes crossed.
“You said that HR ought to be given a new name in fitting with my company’s ethos. The...ah, the People Power Division was your favourite. You believe Smith should run the Well-Being Department under their umbrella. You insisted Clara be moved back to marketing, specifically graphics, as she – and I quote – ‘is much happier not having to talk to anybody for days at a time’. And lastly you suggested I move Jase to the warehouse floor because ‘the mums with prams traffic’ would double. Does that sound about right?”
April nodded. Then squeaked out a yes.
“In fact, you always make interesting points, Ms. Swanson. Because you are a thoughtful young woman. Dedicated. Kind. Generous. Inclusive. If I could clone you and populate my staff with a hundred of you, I’d be a very happy man. And last night – or this morning to be more specific – you’ve never been more concise. You told me exactly why you want the job, what you plan to do with the job, and why my voting practices with regards to internal promotions should be abolished. You then talked at length about cupcakes. Sugary, chocolaty, sweet cupcakes. You told me that you make a lot of them, but you never eat them anymore for fear of falling down the rabbit hole of temptation. The word tragedy was thrown around a fair bit.”
“Where to start...?” April’s throat felt so tight she wasn’t sure whether she was about to laugh or cry.
Stan had no such compunction. His laughter was voluble. “How about when to start.”
April’s eyes shot open. “I’m sorry?”
“The People Power Division; if you want it, it’s yours.”
The only word she could find was, “Why?”
“Because this was the first time I really believed you wanted it.”
“I do want the job.” The words spilled out of her, easy as pie. “I love the people. The ethos. The mission statement, even if I struggle to apply it all that well in my real life. If I could help other people find that too, I’d feel like I was helping people find their sweet spot in life. There’s no better feeling the world.”
“Excellent.” A beat, then, “You make a difference just by turning up. I hope you know that, love.”
April swallowed. Blinked. Tried not to blub.
“Say thank you, Stan.”
“Thank you, Stan.”
“I’m giving you the rest of the week off. Have a rest. Regather your energy. Start next Monday. Graeme can show you the ropes the next couple of weeks. Make for a smooth handover when he retires.”
“Okay then.”
“And you must bring me some of your cupcakes. They sound just wonderful.”
She laughed and wiped away a happy tear. “I have to warn you, they might be a little sweet for your taste.”
She could hear Stan’s smile. “I’ve always been a sucker for sweet.”
With that he rang off.
Hands still shaking, April made another call. This time to home, knowing in her gut someone would be there to answer it. Someone did, on the first ring.
“April?”
“Mum?” Hearing her mother’s voice, she felt shaky and safe all at once.
“Erica refused to let me come and get you. You need to know that. But I understand what you were trying to tell me the other day. You are a grown woman. With occasional bouts of rebellion that are on the acceptable end of normal. My job there is done. Erica on the other hand—”
Suddenly Erica’s voice piped up. “Hey, sis. How’s it hanging?”
Their mother’s voice faded in the background, saying something along the lines of, “Only trying to help.”
“It’s hanging just fine.” April quickly moved under the shade of a sapling on the edge of the footpath when a group of joggers jogged past. “Is Mum okay? She sounded a bit loopy.”
“Because her favourite child got arrested? Go figure.”
A soft breath left April’s mouth. She’d played the part of favourite badly – quietly blaming her mother for pushing their father away while giving her father every chance to make good. But now she saw that it wasn’t that simple.
Nothing ever was.
April’s mum had stuck by her lying husband because they had two daughters to think about. And because she’d loved him. If she’d come to equate love with pain it was only because no one had shown her different.
Meaning Finn’s sins were far more closely aligned with April’s mother’s than April’s fathers. He’d been protecting himself. April should have made him realise he had nothing to fear from her. That if he fell, she’d be there to catch him. Always.
“Erica,” April said. “Give Mum a break, okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Erica’s voice quieted. “Seriously, though. Where are you, now? Maximum security? Under Big Bertha’s protection, I hope.”
April snorted. “I was sprung.”
“She’s out!” Erica called, now obviously talking away from the phone. “Hang on, I’m putting JJ on speaker. Heads up Kane’s here too. And Murdoch.” Her voice lowered to a murmur. “Have you met Murdoch? Another of your friend Hazel’s cave of men, he’s engaged to her business partner. He’s also the grumpiest man ever. He’s awesome.” Erica made sure the entire world heard as she said, “So mind that gutter mouth of yours!”
April rolled her eyes.
Then Erica’s voice dropped again. “Oh yeah, that douche from JJ’s party is here too. Guy. They were all having some conference call about some upcoming manly camping/mountain/fishing thing they’re apparently planning when JJ called Kane. I never realised how seriously tiny your place is until they filled it up—”
April cut her off. “Hi, everyone. I hope Erica’s being a good host.”
“We found your cupcake stash,” said a voice she didn’t know. Guy, if Erica’s growl was anything to go by. “All in a sugar coma.”
“So what happened, hon?” That was JJ. “After the police took you away they wouldn’t let us see you. We tried. Erica practically climbed this poor cop trying to get to you. It was epic.”
April couldn’t help but smile. “I was treated just fine. Charges dropped too. Hazel came through. Makes me want to throttle her a little less for everything that went down. So thank you. Now I just want to get home.”
“Stay where you are. I can be there in fifteen,” Kane called out.
“No, thank you,” she yelled back. A pair of men skirted a little wider around her on the footpath. “I’m going to walk for a bit. Clear my head. I just—”
Realising there was a crowd on the other end of the phone, she baulked at going deeper. At revealing too much of the wild, crazy thoughts skittering around in her head. And then remembered something else about the night before. Right before things began to go “girls gone wild”.
Something about fireworks. And waterfalls. About wanting more.
She took a deep breath, stood tall, declared, “I’m going to carpe.”
JJ laughed. “You go, girl!”
Behind that April heard murmurings. Male murmurings. The word carpe rumbled through the phone in several deep, questioning voices before they faded. Then JJ said, “We’ve moved to your bedroom. So it’s just us girls. So carpe, hey? And by carpe you mean—”
“I mean Finn.” She could all but feel JJ’s grin. “He’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“I hear that. Kane is the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Erica piped up. “I thought I was the best thing that ever happened to you.”
JJ laughed. “He provides services you never could.”
“You never asked.”
April heard JJ blow Erica a kiss, but only just, filled as her head was with the words she’d just said.
Finn was the best thing that had ever happened to her.
Finn, who had never been a part of her grand plan.
She’d been so focussed on the journey – get a job, then an apartment, use that to next rebuild your relationship with your sister – it was like following the recipe to contentment. But if life was a journey, surely that meant it was leading somewhere. To some kind of end point. What was that? Middle age? Death? How could that be the answer?
It wasn’t as if happiness was a trophy. Or even a given. It was precious. It was magical. It was something to be sought every moment of every day.
Happy right now. That truly was the answer. Recognise it, grab it, indulge in it, live it. Dancing, laughing, kissing, loving. The things that gave a person joy, delight, wonder, that made them feel alive. That was what life was all about.
Not the journey, but the moment. Not the choreography, but the dance. Hope without a net. She’d never have known that without paring herself back, mentally, physically, and emotionally until she was her true self. A seeker of fireworks and waterfalls. Of the spectacular.
“April? You still there?”
“Yes. Sorry.” April shifted from one damp foot to the other, beginning to chafe.
JJ said, “Just tell us how we can help.”
“I don’t have any plans as yet, or ideas, of even vague thoughts but all I know is that I have to find him, to tell him—”
Just then a sleek, black car pulled into the no-parking section of the curb with a screech; half mounting the footpath, the back tyre crunching against the gutter. Before the engine had even cut off, a Viking-esque man in an elegant, black suit leapt from the driver’s seat and bolted around the front of the car before coming to a halt, wild eyes searching the row of buildings before him as if looking for a sign.
“Finn?”
Finn’s gaze shot left. Found April. Pierced her like a burst of sunshine slicing through a rain cloud.
He reached her in three loping strides before sweeping her into his arms. Her feet left the ground, her breath left her lungs and she clung to him as he swung her around and around.
Somehow, through it all, she kept a hold of her phone.
Dismembered voices called, “April? Did you say Finn? Did she say Finn?”
Finn slowed the spinning as he glanced at the phone by his ear. “Who the hell—”
“Finn, is that you?” a tinny voice called.
He glanced at April who shrugged. Not easy to do when a six foot something man was squeezing the life out of her.
“Who is this?” Finn asked the phone.
“Erica.”
“And JJ. Kane, Murdoch and Guy would say hi but their mouths are full of April’s cupcakes.”
Erica cut her off. “I’m watching you, slick, so you do right by her. I have ways. Means.”
As Erica went on about the ways and means, Finn let April fall to the ground. Keeping one arm wrapped about her – one strong, warm, protective, possessive arm – he grabbed the phone out of April’s hand said, “She’ll call you back.”
Then switched the phone off and shoved it into his pocket. But not before ‘Carpe Diem!’ was yelled in thin, dissonant stereo.
Then Finn’s hands were suddenly all over her, running down her arms, her legs, sliding over her hair. At first she came over all shuddery, warm fires drying out the sogginess and zapping her back to life. Then she realised he wasn’t feeling her up in broad daylight – the man was checking for bumps and bruises.
“Are you hurt? If anyone touched you in there I’ll wring their bloody necks. Your sister might think she has ways and means but she has no idea—”
“I’m fine,” she said. “Truly. I had a nice bed to sleep off way too many cocktails and a nice lunch when I finally woke up. And... That tickles!” Her laughter carried off into the sky.
Finn’s hands stopped running up and down her waist and slowly moved to settle around her lower back.
While his hands may have settled, his eyes still raged. But beneath that he looked tired. His hair not quite tidy. His suit a little mushed. Rumpled Finn was seriously sexy. Dangerous, on the edge. The kitten had to hold back a meow.
Pleasure scooted up her spine and her body chased the feeling, rolling into him. Not a slow man by any means, Finn took the opportunity to pull her closer; one hand splaying over her shoulder blades, the other settled low enough a little finger slowly caressed the sensitive top of her tailbone.
Needing to grip onto something lest her knees give way, she reached up and fixed his tie, ran his collar through shaking fingers. Then gave it a tug.
In the quiet that followed the sounds of a city seemed to happen in the far off distance – traffic, birdsong, barking dogs. And they stood, holding one another gently, fully, remembering the way they’d left things the day before.
“Why do I get the feeling it’s my fault you’re here?” Finn asked.
“Because it is.”
His laugh was mirthless. “What happened?”
“JJ and Erica plied me with cocktails in an effort to forget you.”
“Did it work?”
April shook her head. “So I swam in the fountain at the Hotel Rouen to see if that might work.”
“Any luck?”
April motioned to the big brick building looming over them. “What do you think?”
She might have imagined it, or she might not, but it felt as if he’d pulled her a little closer.
“I think you’re not quite the good girl you try to convince everyone you are.”
“I think you may be right.”
A smile creased the corners of his eyes. April smiled right on back. For a split-second, she wondered if she ought to hold back. Protect herself form the hope soaring through her at the fact that he’d come.
But no. She was done with that. She was carpeing the diem if it was the last thing she did.
“Finn.”
Mocking her serious tone, Finn’s voice rumbled, “Yes, April.”
“Thank you for coming.”
The smile creases disappeared. “Of course.”
“I mean it. I might struggle a little, okay a lot, to be the good girl, but you are a really good guy. I knew that from the moment I saw you in that bar that you were something special. And it doesn’t matter why you were there.”
“April—”
“No. I thought it did but it doesn’t. It couldn’t be more irrelevant. All that matters is that I saw you and I wanted to know you. The fact that as I got to know you I also started to fall for you was a whole other gift.” She reached up, traced her fingers through his hair. “Finn—”
“Ethan,” he said, his voice rough. “My real name is Ethan.”
Full of surprises this man. And the chances were that would never change. Only it didn’t terrify her as it once would. It was him. Take him or leave him. And the thought of leaving him, again, felt so wrong she trembled.
“Where did Finn come from?”
“Great Expectations. Movie, not book. It was on TV in the bar at the bus station when I took off after my dad was put away. Ethan Hawke played a guy named Finn – a kid who did what he had to do to make something of himself.”
“Apt.”
His mouth crooked into the beginning of a devilish smile. “I was fifteen and Gwyneth Paltrow’s character was hot.”
“Oh, agreed.”
Yep, Finn definitely pulled her closer then. With a growl that shivered through her belly. All tucked up in the cradle of his hips, Finn’s warmth made her head come over all swimmy.
“So what do I call you?”
“Whatever you want. As long as you call me.”
April blinked. Trying not to believe that things had shifted. That something was different from his end. Hazel had said he was leaving that night...
“And you told me you were a girl who appreciated a good line.”
“Good being the optimum word there. If you’d used that line in the bar we might never have made it past the first non-date.”
“As opposed to ‘you’re not ugly’?”
His smile now morphing into the kind of grin big bad wolves turned on unsuspecting girls, April locked her knees. It felt like they were heading in the right direction, the same direction, but she needed to be firing on all cylinders to do this right. To bare her heart. For real.
“Finn.”
Finn breathed out long and slow, as if hearing his name on her breath was some kind of restorative. So Finn it would remain.
“I’m glad you came roaring up on your big, black steed right now, because I was actually on my way to find you.”
His nostrils flared, and he held her tighter.
“I wanted to apologise properly for what happened yesterday.”
He opened his mouth and she stopped it with a finger against his lips.
“When I said you’d never really had me, it was true. But only because I’d been holding onto the last thread of doubt with everything I had. You may well have been waiting to get caught, but I was so ready to catch you out.”
He opened his mouth again and this time she slapped her hand over the whole thing. Because she had to get this out while it was coming out the right way. Before exhaustion tripped her up, or emotion spilled over and her words came out garbled and wrong.
“That tattoo of mine? Turns out it was less of a mantra than a hope the missive might stick. My favourite day of the year has always been New Year’s – how blessed the chance to wipe the slate clean. Monday is my favourite day of the week – same reason.”
This Monday not so much, but things were looking up.
“You are an overwhelming man, Finn Ward, and I have been overwhelmed by you. I thought that was a bad thing. That losing control could only end badly. But the truth is, you shook me up. You made me look at my life as it was not how I wanted it to be. And that’s okay. It’s more than okay. Because it’s real.”
Above her hand the blue of his eyes was diamond bright, the pupils like ink. A lock of hair had fallen over his brow. If he wasn’t the most beautiful man on the planet she’d eat her shoes, fountain water and all.
Then a tooth grazed the pads of her palm as he closed his mouth behind her hand and April nearly lost traction. Hell, she nearly lost the ability to breathe. But she wasn’t done yet. So she narrowed her eyes in censure and pressed her soggy feet into the ground and said what needed to be said.
“I am in love with you, Finn. You might not ever be ready to hear such a thing, but that’s the truth. The whole truth. Nothing but the truth. I love your face. I love your touch. I love your big, searching heart and your deliciously rough edges. I love that you stand up to me and that you have faith in me. I love how you strive, how you think, how deeply you want. I love every single bit of you. And the thought of you leaving and never seeing you again—”
She dragged in a breath. Swallowed. Licked her lips. Wriggled her toes to make sure her blood kept moving through her body.
Then Finn peeled her hand away, wrapped it tight in his and cradled it against his heart. “April Swanson.”
“Yes, Finn.”
“I adore you.”
April’s breath released in a flourish, her sluggish blood suddenly shooting through her body like her cells had been fitted out with booster rockets. With it, she flushed all over, splotches of heat spreading over her cheeks and neck.
“I adore you,” he repeated, his voice deeper, stronger, insistent. True. “More than that; I need you. I want you, and I need you. I want you, I need you, and... You are strong, kind, generous. More than a little wild, more than a little off-centre. More than I ever let myself believe I deserved. And I adore you.”
Wow. Just wow. He’d stumbled over his words in an effort to get them out – not a moment to curate his thoughts, no thought of taking care. She saw the need in his eyes. Felt the want in his hold. And believed.
Taking her hand back, she grabbed him by the lapels and yanked him closer. Feeling light, and wired, energy racing through her like she’d been hurtled into outer space. “So what are we going to do about it?”
“I can think of several things—”
His knee shifted. Her breath caught.
“But your father—”
“Is the reason I didn’t get here sooner. I came straight from the airport. I was in Melbourne this morning, visiting him.”
April’s woozy senses sharpened as Finn’s words hit home. “You saw him?”
“I saw him.”
“And?”
Finn glanced away. She held on, waiting for a wave of age old disappointment and hurt. But when his eyes slid back to hers they were open, clear, so blue she ached.
“It was the right thing to do.”
“Right for who?”
“For me.” Finn shook his head. “Jail is on him. Getting out will be on him too. But he wants a second chance and that’s where I can come in. I wouldn’t be the man I hope I’ve become if I didn’t do everything in my power to be there to help him get it.”
Talk about overwhelming. April sifted through the nuggets Finn had laid at her feet, trying not to get ahead of herself. She failed.
“Does that mean you’re not going to California?”
“I’m not going to California.”
She breathed out, her whole body shaking with relief.
Still grabbing hold of his lapels, she shook him too. “You, Finn Ward, are such a good man. I’m not even slightly surprised you’re staying to help your father. And you need to know that I will do everything in my power to convince you to let me reap the benefits.”
“Sweetheart,” he said, stilling her with a hand at her cheek, “you have it backwards. I can only help him because I’m staying for you.”
April breathed out hard. And laughed. She laughed so hard it hurt. Then she lifted up onto her toes and kissed him. Laughing still. Kissing more.
Happiness. That was what this was. Happiness right now.
When she pulled away, his eyes had turned dark. But a smile curved at his lips. His version of happy. She was sure. She ran her thumb over the crease, pulling away with a yelp when he nipped her nail.
Then Finn wrapped his arms tighter around her, so she was on her tippy-toes, her length pressed up against his. Her mind wheeling and spinning, all sparkly bliss.
Finn swept a hand over her hair. Once. Twice. His gaze raking over her face as if he couldn’t quite believe she was real. Then his eyes found hers again.
In that moment the world seemed to still. The white noise of the busy afternoon faded to silence. The wind died down to nothing.
And Finn said, “I love you, April Swanson.”
April’s breath caught on a hitch. She opened her mouth to tell him the same, again, and again, and always, but he sealed her lips in a kiss.
His lips closed over hers in a perfect fit. So warm, so sweet. This big strong man with the hard, rough past had such tenderness in his heart, in his touch. As he kissed her, April’s heart skittered and danced, her skin came over in waves of delicious warmth, and the backs of her eyes burned with happy tears.
When he pulled back his eyes were shining. His smile calm.
“You big softie,” April said, her voice cracking with emotion.
Finn pulled her closer, proving he was anything but. Oh my.
Squirming as heat and need swam through her, April glanced up at the police station. “Probably not the smartest place to indulge in a little public indecency. No matter how scary Hazel’s granddaughter is, I’m not sure she can get me off twice in a day.”
“Margot represented you?”
“You know her too?”
“Mmm. She’s a shark in heels. And a civil shark, not criminal. Hazel must have promised her the family estate to get her here.”
April flinched at the word criminal. To think – if not for the shark in heels she’d have been a registered felon. For snapping the penis off a statue! Hilarious as it was – from the other side – she was actually pretty glad to have come out the other end not completely good, but also not legitimately bad.
Thank goodness for Hazel, she thought, and realised she meant it. Because for all her infuriating meddling, Hazel had brought her Finn.
“Besides,” Finn said, “that’s my job.”
“Promising the family estate?”
“Getting you off twice in a—”
April slammed a hand over Finn’s mouth again as a little old couple ambled around the corner. Finn dipped his tongue into the gap between her fingers, and her flush deepened, travelling down her torso till it landed with an insistent pulse right in her centre.
She leaned in close and murmured, “Promises, promises.”
A grin creased at the corners of Finn’s gorgeous eyes, smoothing out the worry lines above and making him look devastating. Shadows still lurked behind his dark blue eyes, but she knew they always would. He would always be on the lookout for danger, always be searching to do better, to make sure he was not defined by his past. It was why he pushed boundaries, worked harder, saw deeper – all in an effort to find the light.
It was how he’d found her, after all.
Feeling like she was lit up like a lantern, she grinned. And then began to laugh. In release, in relief, in unbridled joy.
“You think you’re funny, do you?”
“The funniest!”
“Really?” Suddenly, he bent down, lifted her, and threw her over his shoulder.
April let out a whoop of shock. “What do you think you’re—”
Finn smacked her on the bottom. “You’ll shut up and enjoy it if you know what’s good for you.”
“I will not.” She yelled, “Kidnap!”
The little old couple strolling past caught her eye. And smiled.
“Really?” she asked, holding out her hands in disbelief.
The little old lady tucked her hand deeper into her husband’s elbow as they passed by. “Oh, he’s a keeper, honey. Believe me.”
At which point the little old man pinched his wife on the backside, causing her to skitter forward and giggle like a teenager.
“What is the world coming to?” April asked of the footpath. “Allowing rogues to simply steal good women off the street in broad daylight?”
Finn carefully set her back on her feet by his car.
She shook her kinky waves off her face and glared up into his deep blue eyes.
Finn tucked a strand of hair behind her hear, before holding her by the back of the neck. “I’m not that much of a rogue, you know.”
“And I’m not that much of a good woman.” Proving it, April wrapped her foot around his calf, a hand around his tie and pulled him to her and kissed him for all she was worth. With the warm metal at her back, the hot man at her front she was pretty sure she was in heaven.
Eons later, he pulled away, afternoon sun a halo around his beautiful head.
“If you’re staying you need to know some things,” she murmured.
“Hit me.”
“I’m planning to eat cupcakes. A lot of cupcakes. No more baking them and letting others enjoy the spoils. I may not be so easy to throw over your shoulder very soon.”
Finn’s eyebrow shot north. Yeah, like he couldn’t carry the whole world on his shoulders if he put his mind to it.
“I’m also going to get a loan. Find a new place to live. Somewhere with a little yard for Prince. Somewhere bigger.” Where her guy wouldn’t have to worry about banging his head on the rafters. “I got the promotion. The one that started this whole, crazy escapade. So I’ll be able to afford it. I’ll help Mrs. Parsons’ sell the place, so she can visit her sister in Germany.”
He slid a hand to his cheek, a move so sweet and tender and familiar, her heart grew half a size. “Suits me.”
“You’re not going to fight me on any of this?”
“Do you want me to?”
“No. Maybe. I don’t know. Maybe it’s a spill over from yesterday.”
“It was a pretty good fight.” Finn pushed her hair off her shoulder and nuzzled the soft skin below her ear.
“A real doozy.” April’s eyes fluttered closed as she became lost to sensation.
“Was,” Finn murmured before catching her earlobe between his teeth.
“And hot.”
He paused, lifted his head. A smile – and a question – in his eyes.
“Don’t you think? The whole time I was telling you off I just wanted to jump on you. I wanted to tear off your shirt. And suck on that pulse point on your neck that was jumping like crazy.”
Finn shook his head. Clearly thinking her daffy, but just as clearly loving it.
“All I wanted to do was keep you in that boatshed long enough to show you why you needed to stop thinking so much and simply see what I saw.”
“Which was?”
“Us. Together. No matter where. No matter how. No matter what. The first moment I saw you I knew you were a game changer. It scared the hell out of me. And then it didn’t. And here we are.”
April slid her hands over Finn’s shoulders and into the back of his hair.
They were in the middle of a busy Sydney street, in front of a bustling police station as peak hour began to heat up the roads around them. But as far as April was concerned, the world was about two metres square and all she felt was Finn’s warmth, all she heard was his words, all she wanted was him.
“So if that was our first big fight, does that mean you foresee more in our future?”
“How about as long as we both shall live,” Finn said, smiling down at her. “We’re so good at it, after all. Can’t let that kind of talent go to waste.”
April kissed the man she loved. Once. Twice.
Said, “Okay.”
Because...how could she not?
The End