With all the doom and gloom around due to the economic crisis, at one of my recent workshops on the Law of Attraction, one participant piped up, ‘It’s easy for you to say that we attract what we need; you are successful and you have enough money, but that’s not the case for all of us!’
I smiled and replied, ‘You are absolutely right, it is easy for me to say, but not for the reasons you mention. Success is not what you think it is. The fact that I have 300 people in the room and you believe I make more money than you is not a measure of my success. The fact is that I attracted this group here, yes, but the question is: was it the result of luck, smart marketing or science? What I want you to believe is that a science is behind it. This science is made up of two parts: Inner and Outer. The Inner part is how I feel about myself. Do I consider myself worthy enough? Do I feel happy about what I am doing? Do I feel that by doing what I am doing I am giving something of value to the participants? The Outer is the marketing, the brochures and the website. I might be able to fool a lot of people with just the Outer part, but they would never come back and would leave dissatisfied with the workshop, if my Inner work did not match their expectations. When my Inner matches my Outer and both are aligned in positive energy, my success will increase and be consistent. Word of mouth is the best marketing that exists.
In the end it is not about money, it is about being happy being you. Do you accept where you are right now? Have you decided to take more control of your future, or are you just going to wait and see if your luck changes? If what you have is not what you want, then you have to do everything you can to change so you will attract more of what you want. And then you keep doing that, changing your strategies until you have manifested what you want. I am willing to do what is necessary. Are you? If the answer is yes, I can teach you how. The end result is always the ultimate success: being happy with who you are, where you are and what you have, and who you share it with.’
The workshop participant looked at me and said simply, ‘Thank you!’
We all have one thing in common: we want to be happy. Happiness can mean a roof over your head, enough to eat, healthy children or a happy relationship. Some people seek a higher form of happiness, sometimes known as ‘bliss’. Bliss is what I refer to as the highest expression of happiness.
In order to reach a state of bliss and maintain this, we need to distinguish between three levels of happiness.
This we see in sport, business, war, games, gambling, school, etc. We feel happy when we win and are ahead of others. This form of happiness is always transient, however, and may sooner or later turn against us. Some people get stuck at this level and can become very unhappy and destructive when they lose.
This kind of happiness can be seen when we are very happy when we are young, strong, good-looking and full of energy, and become depressed when the symptoms of old age set in. We are happy when a child is born and become unhappy when that child turns into a hyperactive, uncontrollable brat or gets to puberty and rebels against us. We are happy with our friends as long as they are nice to us but not when they tell us something we don’t want to hear. When we fall in love everything is fantastic, until a few years later when we are more critical. Conditional happiness never lasts and sooner or later we discover that things were not as we thought they were and we become unhappy with what we have.
With this level of happiness, we need no outside stimulus to feel happy or at peace.
We have accepted the fact that we are fallible mortal human beings, we accept and welcome change, death and suffering. We are comfortable with both discomfort and pleasure, and are not attached to outcomes, but enjoy the process of experiencing life to its fullest. We are grateful for all the blessings and experiences that we have along the way and we are at peace with ourselves and others. We let go of the need to judge or be right, and we forgive easily. We also understand that we are one with the universe. We are, most of the time, in the turbulence-free zone that I call the still-point.
Bliss is the silence of perfection, which is the spectrum of all there is, like sunlight containing all colours. When we are in still-point we feel inner peace, harmony and love, and we know that all is good as it is, even if it is not what we want. When we are not connected to our natural state of being in harmony with ourselves and our surroundings, we feel alone, abandoned, unloved, rejected and powerless.
This book is about finding your still-point, which is about connecting to the Divine Essence in you and around you. My definition of God is bound to be limited, so in order to make this as boundless and unlimited as possible, God must be ‘all’: all there is, all there ever was and all that will ever be. This is what we constantly forget and neglect by disengaging from our Divine Essence. When we isolate ourselves energetically we feel small and alone. Isolation is always a self-inflicted event: we do it to ourselves and we become so good at it that we believe it has been forced upon us by others, circumstances, nature or an act of God. The main reason we forget who we really are is that we focus on our five senses, which are very limited. Our reality is a projection created by our limited senses. Because we grow up in a world where people are not aware of who they really are, we also start to believe that limitations, pain, disease and suffering are normal. Most people are unaware of their potential and keep creating patterns in their lives that indicate that they are disconnected from their inner source of power. Knowledge is passed on from generation to generation – and this becomes the greatest limitation of all. To achieve the wisdom needed to find unconditional happiness, we need to liberate ourselves from the many limiting beliefs we have grown up with. Only then can we circumvent our projected reality and get a sense of all there is.
There is a beautiful tale in Vedic literature that illustrates who we really are.
In a forest in India, a lioness gave birth to a little lion cub. The mother unfortunately died soon after, when the cub was just a few weeks old. The cub wandered off after trying to wake up his mother and got lost in the woods looking for food. By a stroke of luck he found a ewe feeding her young. He was accepted among the sheep and grew up in their company. Naturally he did not know that he was a lion. He felt weird at times because he had trouble learning to bleat and because the grass was hard for him to digest, but he did not know any better. One day, while the sheep were doing their normal grazing, a big lion came roaring and running after them. The sheep were terrified and ran away bleating – and so did the lion cub. The big lion stopped in surprise at seeing a lion cub being afraid of him and bleating like a sheep. He grabbed the lion cub in his mouth and carried it away in the jungle. The lion explained to the frightened cub that he was not going to eat him, because the cub was the son of a lion, but that it was not acceptable for lions to be in the company of sheep. The cub could not grasp what the lion was telling him and kept saying, ‘Don’t eat me, please!’ The lion knew then that the cub was not aware of who he really was. He took him to a nearby river and made him look at his image in the reflecting water. The cub at last accepted that the lion was right. Instantly he began walking like a lion. He stopped bleating and started to roar like his fellow lions.
Most of us are exactly like this lion cub: we have forgotten our true nature. We are surrounded by others who are like sheep, and we go through life with our heads down, frightened and unable to recognize the strong and noble creature within. This tale speaks to the divine spark we all carry within us, also known as the Higher Self.
Once we accept and act upon our divinity with single-minded certainty, we will become masters of our destiny and live with self-respect, facing the challenges of our path boldly. We will treat everyone as equally divine even when they are not aware of it. Only then will it become effortless for us to overcome anger, hatred, jealousy and greed, and to feel instead the exuberance of love and empathy.
That’s where we are going in this book: we are training and disciplining our minds gracefully and skilfully, step by step.
The question most people ask me is: ‘Why do we become slaves of our own minds?’ The answer will be very clear once you have read this book, but for now I would like to give you some basic principles.
In order to survive we are born with certain basic survival programs. As babies, our lives are simple: eat, sleep, excrete and grow. In order to achieve our goals we have to be loveable; for this reason babies are built to be cute and huggable. Even the sounds we make are programmed to attract attention and instil panic when needed. You cannot say this all happens consciously; it’s all part of an unconscious program that each of us needs in order to make it through early life. As we grow older, we learn through appropriate training how to overcome and override this basic survival program. Parents show us affection and love even when we are not hungry and fulfil our basic needs through quality time, respect, admiration, trust, acknowledgment, understanding, acceptance, comfort, encouragement, care, approval, etc., without us having to give up anything, just for who we are. If that does not happen, however, we crave and seek to fulfil those needs.
The biggest problem is that we are programmed to find people who in general will not give us what we want and need. As a consequence we get more and more desperate and become either more depressed and clingy or the opposite: bitter, aggressive, negative. We tend to blame either ourselves or the world for not getting our needs met. The only control that works is letting go of control!
The goal of this book is to make you aware of how this works so you can overcome this unconscious programming.
To get back to the three basic levels of consciousness, these can be classified as:
Level 1: Matter
Level 2: Energy
Level 3: Anti-matter
For anything to be formed in matter there must first be a conceptual blueprint in anti-matter, which needs to be energized and then materializes in shape and form. Let’s take this concept further and look at how we create our goals, desires, dreams and wishes in our lives.
Hard work uses up a great deal of energy; we often find resistance and are limited by the amount of hours in a day. At this level we find most of the motivational gurus: Anthony Robbins, Les Brown, Zig Ziglar and others.
Keyword: intensity. If you are at this level and you want to be successful, it means you are working hard and very intensely. You may be very successful, but often this success comes at a steep price. At this level, material manifestation is the paramount goal.
Many of us arrive here after having worked hard for a long period of time, when the realization hits how futile that approach is or that it comes at too high a price. We come to the realization that if we work smarter, we can do less. We start listening to our feelings and following our intuition. If we make choices from our gut level (intuition), we become successful in creating a harmonious life. At this level we are more inclined to follow leaders such as Stephen Covey, Dennis Waitley and Joan Borysenko.
Keyword: intuition. If you are at this level and you want to be successful, it will mean you will be guided by your core values. Family and happiness are more important than career. The tendency here is often to settle for less than is necessary, and often there is confusion about wealth and success. If intuition and feelings are suppressed, there can be a tendency toward immune dysfunction, cancer and chronic fatigue syndrome. Balance and harmony are essential at this level.
‘Not working’ is a deceptive term; it is better to use the word ‘effortlessness’. This is the path of least resistance. Work does not cost us energy but gives us a boost and energizes us. At this level we have become synchronized with the universe. We attract the right people at the right time in our lives and we create instantly. Others consider this coincidence or luck. We don’t waste energy. We are completely tuned in to our higher consciousness and feel guided. We know that we are responsible for all the events in our lives. At this level we find leaders and teachers such as Deepak Chopra, Neale D. Walsh, Wayne Dyer and others. Being at this level we realize that we are all unlimited beings and that the universe is here to support us. This is the level of maximal synchronicity, the level of surrender and allowing our intentions to be manifested by the universe.
Keyword: intention. Being of service is what it’s all about at this level. If you are at this level, success comes without strenuous efforts and you are aware of all the signals that the universe sends to you. You are in communication with your guides. Spiritual growth is your priority and you let go of all that distracts you from it. Relationships are based on spiritual values and not conditional love. You totally trust the connection with the universe. This is the level of true healing. Most of us do not succeed at keeping ourselves at this level. Also you need to realize that there are various sub-levels.
Most people are dominant in one of these levels. This does not mean that the other levels are not present. This is not about judging the work of any of the writers and thinkers mentioned; they do important work and for our evolution it is natural to start at Level 1 and move up. Nor do I say that I am at Level 3 all the time, although I certainly wish I were.
There are many ways to look at this concept, and in the course of this book we will deal with many of them. To become skilful at anything we need to go through these three levels: first, hard work to build up a winning habit in our neurological system. In this way we go from ‘unconscious incompetent’ to ‘conscious competent’.
Secondly, we start to work smarter; we listen to our natural rhythms and our bodies. We now start becoming what we want. We don’t have to think about it anymore: we are ‘unconscious competent’.
Thirdly, we have done a thing so many times that we can do it effortlessly; we are now ‘unconscious excellent’. This is the level of mastery.
In order to master anything we need one ingredient: self-discipline. It is most powerful when it comes from the heart and not from the mind. Children learn to walk and, later, run because they want it badly and nothing can stop them. Some people achieve excellence at what they do because they love it; self-discipline from the heart is effortless. That’s where I want to coach you, to use your emotions to develop yourself to a point of effortlessness.
Before we continue, let’s evaluate where you are right now. This will give us an overview of what areas to focus on.
First, I would like to recommend and encourage you to buy a journal, preferably with a hardback cover. This journal will become a guide for your journey. You can keep track of your progress. Take a few minutes every day to record what’s happening. Later on we will define what your turbulence is and how you can learn to stop losing energy.
Once you have your journal, jot down your answers:
In Traditional Chinese Medicine, the two opposite (and complementary) polarities of nature are referred to as yin and yang. Yang is expansive, aggressive, male-like and externally focused energy. Yin is inward focused, softer, female-like energy. The whole yin/yang philosophy is about two opposing forces that modify the polarity of energy, also called Chi. When the two are balanced, a peaceful, harmonious state called Tao is created.
This has been backed up by what we now know of quantum physics. The laws of energy govern our lives and by understanding them and working with them, we create harmony and longevity.
Let’s look at the three levels again:
Here is an overview of the characteristics of the three different states. When we are at Level 1, things happen to us, we have bad luck or good luck, coincidences happen that influence our lives. At Level 2, we start seeing the connections between different events. But still we are not in control; we accept and follow the guidance we get. At Level 3, we consciously create our own reality; we are mastering the cosmic game and we are in synchronicity with the cosmic intentions. We let go of ego and surrender to the all-binding universal force.
At Level 1, we find our own way without the map of our spirit. At Level 2, we have a mobile phone and we ask for directions. At Level 3, we have a GPS that guides us effortlessly to the best and most efficient way forward.
One of the questions asked most frequently on my seminars is: ‘How do I get from Level 1 to Level 3?’ The fastest way to get to Level 3 is via Level 2. That’s the shortcut. You get to Level 2 by learning to feel and hear your inner guidance, and trusting it. There will be many roadblocks and detours on your way. Who creates them? You do! In order to grow spiritually, we need to accept a basic principle: we create our own reality.
In other words: nothing happens to you; there are no coincidences in life, there is no punishment, there is only cause and effect. This is also referred to as karma. We will discuss this intensively in the next section.
The moment we accept our role as creators of our own destiny, we also realize that we can create what we really want. This leads us to the next question.
If you are at Level 1, what you really want is matter. You subconsciously seek security! You want to create more matter than you could possibly need.
If you are at Level 2, what you really want is to feel good all the time, you want to be loved, get attention, get respect, get trust, get admiration, be cared for. You are nice to others because that will give you more of what you want.
If you are at Level 3, what you really want is to become one with the universe. You become of service and surrender to the highest source. You derive joy from being you, letting go of fears and making choices based on what’s best for your spiritual growth. You seek conscious communion.
In this book we will constantly come back to the concept of these three levels. In all aspects of life you will find these three at work. If you want to maximize the effort you make in order to create happiness in our lives, you have to make happiness an effortless state of being. We can be sad and still be in ‘bliss’ when we realize that the sadness is nothing but a focal point of our awareness, and that as soon as we refocus on our being we are back in harmony and still-point.
To develop inner peace, you need to understand what upsets your spirit. So here are some points to ponder and read (and re-read) until they are 100 per cent part of your consciousness. They are your basic guidance on the path to inner peace. Karma is like yin and yang; it is either love-connected (also known as positive karma) or it is linked to ego (fear-based).
Write down what resonates most with you; these are the areas that you need to work on:
Intention is the starting point of everything we desire or create. Not all our intentions are conscious.
There are four levels of intention:
We control only at the conscious level; the goal of this book is to free yourself from any outcome and at all times connect to that space in yourself where there is no conflict but only inner peace.
It is the creative power that fulfils all of our needs, desires and dreams, whether for money, career, healing, relationships, spiritual awakening or love. Everything that happens in the universe begins with intention.
As you begin this new journey, you become more aware of a path filled with unlimited possibility. Take some time to consider your intentions, your desires and where you want to focus your attention in the months ahead. The classic Vedic text the Upanishads declares, ‘You are what your deepest desire is. As your desire is, so is your intention. As your intention is, so is your will. As your will is, so is your deed. As your deed is, so is your destiny.’
As you know, we live in a dualistic world. We have a right and left brain: the left brain is the computer that analyzes and is rational. The right brain is connected to our deeper and hidden levels. Together they create two realities: the conscious mind and the unconscious mind.
Human consciousness can be compared to an iceberg, of which the largest part (our subconscious mind) lies under the surface of the water.
This duality of consciousness can create congruence or incongruence. When the two parts of the mind are aligned, we are on a path of effortlessness and flow. When there is conflict we will sabotage ourselves. A good example is weight loss: no one gets excited about starting another diet. Dieting is associated with suffering and deprivation. When the conscious mind associates more pain with being overweight than with dieting, we can start a diet. This will be successful as long as one has the willpower and endurance to give up many treats. When the subconscious mind moves in to sabotage our willpower, it will succeed. This is why fewer than 6 per cent of those who diet will manage to keep the weight off permanently.
In short, change requires the unrestricted compliance and cooperation of the subconscious. In the subconscious we have our self-image and our history, including all our unresolved issues and suppressed emotions. The subconscious mind prefers the status quo or the comfort zone, even when this is not perfect.
Over the years and with the aid of a technique called kinesiology, I’ve found a way to communicate with the subconscious mind. Kinesiology is a system where you test a person’s muscle strength while asking him or her questions. When someone is not congruent with a statement or question, the body will react with stress and muscle power will diminish for a few seconds.
As you work with the techniques in this book, you will begin to overcome many of your unconscious self-sabotaging mechanisms. I wish you a successful journey to the deeper parts of yourself, where you are already at peace and in harmony.