The best I would be able to do was avoid Vivaldi as long as possible, though eventually we would be forced to come face-to-face. When the musicians from the Pietà arrived several hours before the party was to begin—along with their maestro and a few nuns as chaperones—I sent Giacomo to greet them, telling him I still needed a great deal of time to dress and ready myself for the evening. This was to diverge slightly from what was expected of me as a hostess, but I could not bring myself to care. Not tonight.
In truth, dressing did not take all that long. I wore black, with a single strand of pearls, as all patrician women did in the first year after marriage. But as though she sensed how much I wanted to look beautiful on this day, Meneghina took extra care with my hair. She pinned it back—leaving a few strands down to soften the effect—and wound through it a strand of diamonds and pearls set in gold which had been a wedding gift from my father to my mother, and which he had given to me on my wedding day. Finally, she applied a light touch of cosmetics to enhance my eyes and lips.
When she was done, I hardly recognized the woman in the looking glass. Her glossy hair shone nearly as much as the diamonds nestled in it, and her large, luminous eyes gazed seductively back at me.
Meneghina met my eyes in the mirror with a satisfied smile. “Every man in attendance tonight will fall madly in love with you,” she said. “You shall break a great many hearts tonight, madonna.”
In spite of all that was weighing on me, I laughed. “Perhaps I shall make that my goal for the evening.”
* * *
When the time finally came for me to go greet the guests who were beginning to arrive, I was relieved to learn the orchestra was setting up in the piano nobile, where the concert would take place before dinner. Though Meneghina had painted confidence on my face, I could only thank God that my skirts hid my shaking legs as I stood beside Giacomo in the entrance hall and was introduced, one by one, to his friends and acquaintances. The man whom I had loved with all my heart, whom I had trusted with my life and more and who had betrayed me, was in a room just behind me, living and breathing and real and not at all like my pale remembrances of him. I could feel him. I could just barely admit to myself the foolish fantasy I harbored, the fantasy of a naïve girl: when he saw me, he would draw me away into another room, and fall to his knees, begging me to forgive him, telling me that he had made a terrible mistake, that he could not live without me after all, and ask me to leave Venice with him this very night. My face heated with embarrassment for even allowing such a scene to play out in my head. I had not learned much this past year after all.
“Ah, here is a very dear friend of mine,” Giacomo said, breaking into my self-pitying thoughts. I looked up to see a short, somewhat rotund man, his face doughy and flushed, though the white wig that sat atop it was immaculate, as were his expensively tailored clothes. On his arm was a petite yet shapely and very fashionably dressed young woman, with a lovely, heart-shaped face and what seemed to be yards of silken blond locks. “Adriana, this is Senator Roberto Grimaldi, whom I have known since I was a boy. It was in his villa that we stayed on our wedding trip. Roberto, may I present my wife, Adriana.”
I smiled at him, extending my hand for him to kiss. “I must thank you for your generosity, Senator Grimaldi,” I said. “It is a most lovely house.”
“Not at all, Donna Baldovino,” he said. “It was my pleasure to be of service, and it is my hope that you and your esteemed husband will be our guests there again in the future.” He gestured to the blond woman beside him. “Donna, may I present to you my wife, Giulietta Grimaldi.”
“It is an honor and a pleasure, Donna Grimaldi,” I said, nodding.
“Oh, no, the honor and pleasure are all mine,” she said, her voice remarkably strong and animated coming from such a small frame. “I have been much looking forward to making your acquaintance, Donna Baldovino—why, I came this close to simply climbing into my gondola to come call on you, but Roberto insisted I wait for a formal introduction, as no doubt your husband was not through keeping you all to himself!”
As she spoke, something about her face, her figure, and her name jarred my memory. “Why, Donna Grimaldi,” I said, “forgive me, but I just realized I have seen you before. I was in a gondola passing your palazzo some time ago, and a young man was outside singing to you. You came out to blow him a kiss.”
She laughed. “That was my dear Mario, no doubt,” she said. “He is a most charming and devoted cavaliere servente. We shall have to find you one just like him, and I have no doubt the young men will be falling all over themselves for the honor!”
I laughed. “I shall trust your judgment in this matter, donna,” I said.
She smiled warmly. “I have been so hoping for someone marvelous and diverting among all of my husband’s stuffy friends, and you are just such a person!”
I laughed again, startled and refreshed by such frank speech. Senator Grimaldi chuckled tolerantly. “My wife is quite outspoken, you will find, Donna Baldovino,” he told me.
“Indeed.” I tossed a conspiratorial smile to her. “I, too, have a bit of outspokenness in my nature.”
Grinning back at me, she reached out and briefly clasped my hand. “I think that we are going to be great friends,” she said. “But for now, I shall let you continue greeting your guests. We will have more of an opportunity to talk later.”
“Indeed.” I smiled at her as she took her husband’s arm again, and they moved past us into the piano nobile.
I greeted the rest of the seemingly endless procession of guests with an easy charm that surprised me; such pleasantries had never come easily to me. I flattered myself that I was acting the perfect Venetian hostess, though I knew I scarcely remembered anyone’s name.
Finally Giacomo turned to me. “I believe that just about everyone is here,” he said. “Should we not perhaps begin the concert soon?”
My already rapid heartbeat doubled its pace. “Yes, I suppose,” I answered.
“Very well. Perhaps a bit of wine first.”
I took his arm, and we went into the piano nobile, where our guests were mingling cheerfully. Across from the double doors was the semicircle of chairs and music stands where the orchestra would be seated. The musicians—no more than girls—were already in their places, tuning their instruments and practicing a passage here and there. I quickly looked away, lest I catch sight of their maestro, and grabbed the nearest glass of wine I could find.
What if I faint dead away when I see him? I wondered, suddenly panicked. Yet … why am I so fearful? It is he who wronged me; it is he who should be afraid to meet my eye.
Yet any sort of logic left me just seconds later, when I finally saw him. He was standing off to one side of the orchestra, sifting through a pile of scores. My stomach lurched violently, and my head swam. If not for a deep, well-timed breath, I no doubt would have fainted.
He looked as I remembered, albeit thinner. As though he sensed my eyes upon him, he looked up, causing me to look quickly away, my heart pounding and my breath coming in short, shallow pants.
But there were guests to attend to, and Giacomo and I threaded our way through the throng, drifting apart from each other and trying to speak to everyone all over again. I made certain that my voice was light and my laugh bright and genuine, should Vivaldi still happen to be observing me.
I was engaged in conversation with Donna Barbo, a lovely, silver-haired older woman who was the wife of Senator Barbo, when my husband approached us with another couple whom I could not remember greeting earlier. “I will perhaps speak with you at greater length during dinner, Donna Baldovino,” Donna Barbo said, nodding regally to me and returning to her husband so that I might greet the newcomers.
The man was tall and thin, and had eschewed the fashion of wearing a wig, having combed back his own iron-gray hair and tied it with a ribbon. His clothes were simple but made of the finest stuff. Beside him stood a slender young woman who looked to be about my age. She was tall, easily Giacomo’s height, with a perfect oval-shaped face that featured high, delicate cheekbones, cream-colored skin, and wide green eyes. Her long, wavy brown hair, a shade lighter than mine, was bound at the nape of her neck, with a few strands loosened to frame her face. She, too, wore the black gown and pearls of a newly married woman. She was perhaps the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, but beautiful in a different way from Giulietta’s sensual, seductive charms: this woman may well have posed for an artist’s portrait of the Blessed Virgin, so pure and serene was her beauty.
“Adriana,” Giacomo said, “this is another dear friend of mine, Francesco Cassenti. Francesco, my wife, Adriana.”
We exchanged pleasantries, and then Don Cassenti indicated the woman next to him. “May I present to you my wife, Vittoria.”
“A pleasure, Donna Cassenti,” I said, smiling.
“Likewise, Donna Baldovino,” she said warmly, her voice smooth and sweet.
“Donna Cassenti was formerly at the Pietà,” Giacomo informed me. “She was a singer, if I am correct, just like your late mother.”
I appraised her with new interest. “Truly, Donna Cassenti? That is most fascinating! You must tell me all about it!”
She laughed, a musical sound that instantly made me wish to hear her sing. “I would be glad to do so, certainly. But please, you must call me Vittoria.” She smiled shyly. “Actually, it is Maria Vittoria, but there were so many Marias at the Pietà that I was always called by my second name.”
“With pleasure,” I said. “But you must call me Adriana.”
“Of course,” she said. “But if you all will be so good as to excuse me, I must go and greet Maestro Vivaldi. I remember him well from my days there.”
“Very well, my dear,” Don Cassenti said. I peeked in the direction of the orchestra to see Vivaldi now seated in the first violinist’s chair. He looked up as Vittoria approached, his expression one of excited surprise and pleasure. He rose quickly, and soon the two were deep in conversation.
A hot surge of pointless jealousy swept over me. Did he think Vittoria more beautiful than I?
Almost instantly I was ashamed of such thoughts, especially about a woman I hoped would be a friend.
I turned back to hear Giacomo addressing me. “Francesco and Vittoria were married just after us; in fact, we were on our wedding trip at the time, and so could not attend. May, was it not?” he asked Francesco.
“It was indeed.”
“Perhaps, Giacomo,” I interrupted, “it is best that we begin the concert.” God help me, I could not take another moment of mindless pleasantries. Let us get this over with.
“Yes, yes, you are right, as always, my dear,” Giacomo said. “Let us take our seats, then.”
We moved to our seats in the front row of chairs that had been arranged to face the orchestra; Giacomo on the end and I beside him, uncomfortably aware of how close I was to Vivaldi. I did not look directly at him, nor he at me, yet neither of us could escape the fact that the other was there.
Fortunately, Vittoria Cassenti came to sit in the seat next to mine. “I hope you do not mind if I sit beside you,” she said, arranging her skirts in the artful manner of someone who has been wearing them all her life, rather than only just becoming accustomed to costly garments.
“Not at all,” I replied. “It is a privilege.”
She smiled. “So you enjoy music, then, Donna Baldovino?” She blushed slightly. “Excuse me. Adriana.”
“Very much,” I said.
“And are you a musician yourself?”
I hesitated. I could tell that although Vivaldi seemed intent on tuning his violin, he was actually listening to the conversation between Vittoria and myself. “I was,” I said. “I played the violin.”
“That is wonderful!” Vittoria exclaimed. “I tried to learn it once, but I have little skill for that sort of instrument, I am afraid. God in His wisdom put my instrument within my body.”
I smiled. “There you have the better of me by far. I should very much like to hear you sing.”
“And I should like to hear you play your violin, if ever you decide to play again.”
Thankfully, I was spared the need to respond to this by Giacomo rising from his chair to perform the introduction.
“My wife and I would like to thank all of you for being here this evening, during which we hope you will join us in lending support to one of the republic’s worthiest institutions, the Ospedale della Pietà.” He gestured toward the orchestra. “With that said, I shall now take my seat without further ado and allow the performance to begin.” The guests applauded, and Giacomo sat down beside me again. He took my hand, squeezing it affectionately. I squeezed his hand in return, hoping it was enough to hold me steady through the next few hours.
And just before the orchestra began playing, just when I thought I might survive this evening after all, I had to bow my head to hide the tears pooling in my eyes. Vivaldi’s violin was not some new one he had bought to replace the one he sent me; nor was it one of the other ones, of lesser quality, that he kept in his house.
No. It was my violin.