Chapter 8 - Tough Choices

It was easy being with Riccardo. Days turned into weeks and he asked no more of me than I was willing to give. It was probably the most effortless relationship I’d ever had, not that I had a lot to compare it to. Riccardo, Josh and the rest of the Harvard crew filled their days with exploring Rome and all of its majestic glory, no doubt a hardship to endure while the rest of us worked for a living.

Other parts of my life remained largely unchanged. I still worked at the trattoria, I still lived with Stefania and I still lusted after clothes and shoes I couldn’t afford. It had been the longest I’d been still in a while and I had started to get that itch. Work bored me and while it was honest if I had to get one more tourist a dish that they couldn’t pronounce, I would scream. I wanted more, to do something more meaningful with my days other than refill water glasses and balance food-laden plates.

It wasn’t just the mundane mentality of my work that was draining me, although the monotony of it was a major contributing factor, it was the money too. Luigi (our animated boss) was fantastic in allowing us to stay in an apartment he provided but after covering utilities and other living expenses, it didn’t leave a lot to play with. I craved something else and being with Riccardo gave me a glimpse of what I could have if I went after it.

Stefania and I would sometimes tag along with Ricardo and co. on their adventures. They were living large and while we were with them we got treated to the spoils of life with an unlimited income. It was a strange experience for me and while Stefania had no issue with Riccardo bank-rolling our extravagant recreational activities, it simmered uncomfortably with me. I knew that what Riccardo was spending was just a drop in the ocean, but I’d never used a man for money. Sex maybe, but never money.

“It’s just money Lexi, he has plenty.” Stefania would argue whenever I brought it up.

“That’s not the point and you know it. His family already thinks I’m a money grabbing parasite. I’m not about to give them more reason to think poorly of me.” I argued, knowing it was more about my own personal integrity rather than his family’s opinion that plagued me. I could never be a kept woman and no matter what we dressed it up as, that’s what I would end up being if we continued long term.

I had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting the Cassius family while attending a family gathering about a week into our relationship. They were all present, well most of them minus the absent brother who’d left the family nest.

Riccardo’s mother was immaculately dressed and didn’t even try to be humble. She was loud and brassy, her bleached-blonde hair teased within an inch of its life. Predictably she had been less than pleased that Riccardo had taken to dating a waitress and conveyed her displeasure by ignoring me all night.

Riccardo’s father attempted civility by smiling and greeting me in English but his pretense fell to the wayside rather quickly when he switched to his native tongue to congratulate his son on the fine piece of ass he was fucking but warned him that bringing her home was bound to upset his mother. Normally I would have responded with a quick witted comeback which would have been peppered with some “fuck you” and “asshole” but I honestly didn’t care what this elitist bastard thought of me, he wasn’t worth my time. Riccardo of course hadn’t shared my sentiment and had launched into a hushed but volatile showdown with his father, and while I appreciated Riccardo going to bat for me it was unnecessary. It had been our objective to piss off his family so as far as I was concerned the frosty reception meant a job well done.

Enzo and Marcus were much of the same; wash, rinse and repeat - rude, obnoxious and judgmental. Their not-so-subtle whisperings conveyed their assumptions that I was looking to either land a rich husband or use Riccardo for a status symbol. I didn’t bother to correct their wrongful assumptions. It still amazed me that Riccardo had turned out so well adjusted, he was relatively normal considering the environment he had been raised in.

I assumed Riccardo’s original ambition of “ruffling feathers” had been more fun in his theoretical scenario than in the practical application as he spent the rest of the night brooding and angst ridden. This translated into some rather fierce and heated sex later that night, so it was not a complete waste of an evening.

He did however limit our exposure to his family, which confused me a little as I thought the whole idea of our public relationship was to give them the middle finger, but as it wasn’t my deal I didn’t argue.

The nights were spent together. Regardless of what we were doing or if I was working or not, I would inevitably end up in his bed. It became a sort of habit and the few times I didn’t go to his apartment would see him quietly knocking on my door in the early hours of the morning.

Buongiorno Riccardo!” Stefania’s bright cheery voice burst into the room uninvited. She didn’t even try to hide her delight at seeing his naked body wrapped around mine, the sheets had fallen off of us throughout the night.

Ciao Stefania,” Riccardo yawned not bothering to be embarrassed as he reached down and retrieved the discarded bedding.

“Go away Stefania!” I groaned into my pillow, shutting my eyes tightly.

“She isn’t a morning person.” Stefania giggled. She wasn’t kidding, I hated mornings.

“Well perhaps she should move in with me so she can be spared the early wake up calls.” I felt Riccardo’s hand rub my back gently.

“Oooooooo you are trying to steal my Lexi? But I would miss her. Can I move in too?” Stefania nattered excitedly. She had really warmed to Riccardo, being with Josh had certainly helped that but mostly she saw he was a decent guy who gave her no cause to doubt him. So given her new found “friendship” with him, I couldn’t tell if she was joking or genuinely asking to move in with Riccardo. He had floated the idea of me moving my things to his apartment, arguing I spent so many nights there it made sense. As practical as the offer had seemed it was still a no go for me.

“You know I can hear you both?” I groaned as I tried to hide my head under the pillow.

“So if you can hear me, perhaps you should give my offer some more consideration.” Riccardo chuckled in my ear, lightly kissing my back.

“But only if I get to come too!” Stefania added (clearly she hadn’t been joking). “I am just grabbing my cardigan, I’m showing Josh the Vatican today and you know how tight-up they get about bare skin in that place.” Stefania rustled through the closet before heading back toward the door. “Don’t steal Lexi while I’m gone.” She blew air kisses as she bounded from the room.

“So?” Riccardo’s fingers tip-toed up my back, his voice hopeful.

“You heard Stefania, she would miss me. Besides your place is further from work.” I rolled over onto my back and nestled against his warm skin. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings but us living together would never happen.

“You could come work for me.” Riccardo tilted his head to the side, his eyes gleaming with excitement.

“What? You got a job?” I sat up in bed and hugged him.

I knew he technically didn’t need a job but I was glad he was going to be doing something more productive than living off his trust fund. He had a masters degree for God’s sake. From Harvard. “That’s great. What will you be doing?”

“I’m going to work for my father, Alexia. It’s time I shared some of the responsibilities with my brothers.” He circled his arms around me. “I start Monday and I’m going to need an assistant.”

I tried not to be horrified by the prospect of him going into the family business. Honestly, I was surprised. He wasn’t like them - he was different. He was capable of so much more than being saddled with the legacy of his last name. He could be his own man; surely his brother Nicholas had set a precedent? It seemed that in the last few days I hadn’t been the only one who had been considering career choices.

“You can’t be serious.” I tried to let Riccardo see how disappointed I was. “Firstly, your father hates me so I’m not sure he is going to congratulate you for hiring your piece of ass as an assistant and secondly, your assistant? Really? We both know why you would want to hire me, so no - I won’t work for you.” I had no interest in being part of the office scenery or any other tasks the job might offer.

“Alexia, did you not express to me the other day that you were bored being a waitress? That you wanted to do something with your degree? I’m giving you a chance to do that. You are more than qualified for the position.” His brow knitted in confusion as if he was honestly bewildered about why this was such a bad idea. Maybe he thought I’d have jumped at the opportunity?

“I know what position you are talking about.” I levelled him with my icy stare. Being called a whore didn’t bother me, but there was no way I was ever going to become one.

“Alexia, I’m not hiring you for sex if that’s what you are inferring.” Riccardo frowned in disgust.

“That’s exactly what it will be. Thanks but no thanks.” I slurred sarcastically, wanting to shut the conversation down. It was our first real disagreement and I didn’t like the way it made me feel.

“Ok, suit yourself.” Riccardo conceded shaking his head, “I was just thinking…”

“Yeah well don’t think. I’m more than qualified to do that on my own.” I snapped, unable to stop the frostiness I was feeling from seeping into my tone.

“Please don’t fight with me, bella. I was just trying to help.” Riccardo tilted my chin, “Look at me. Alexia, you are very capable of doing more than what you are currently doing and I thought I could offer you an alternative. I wasn’t trying to offend you. Friends can help friends; it’s usually an acceptable process.”

My anger spiked. I wasn’t sure if it was disappointment in myself or in him. I knew all he was trying to do was help but I also knew how easily it could turn into being controlled. I wouldn’t go there, I had told him that at the start. I wouldn’t allow myself to change, especially not for a man. “So it’s my fault? Look, I know you think you were helping but you aren’t. Let it go and if you don’t want to fight with me then I suggest you leave.”

“Alexia, come on. A simple disagreement and you’re kicking me out?” He stared at me in disbelief. I couldn’t expect him to get it, after all he barely knew me. We’d been together just over a month?

“Riccardo, just go. I’ll talk to you later but right now I’d rather be alone.” I pulled my knees up to my chest, wishing he’d just leave. The truth is, it was myself I was most angry with. Being with Riccardo had been easy, I enjoyed his company and I really liked being around him but if I hadn’t been embroiled in whatever it was we were doing, I would have moved on a while ago. I was deluding myself into believing I could stay anywhere for too long.

Riccardo let out a long audible breath, “Fine. I’m not the enemy here, just remember that.” He stalked off the bed and grabbed his clothes.

I avoided his eyes as he pulled on his jeans, I knew I had probably over reacted but it was too late. Riccardo grabbed his keys from the bedside table. “People fight Alexia, they have disagreements and they move on. I’ll speak to you later.” He kissed my forehead and quietly walked out the door.

I watched him go, he had been unfairly targeted by my anger and yet I couldn’t stop myself. He had never treated me with anything but respect. I needed to get a grip. My boredom was the reason I felt unfulfilled, not because of anything Riccardo had done or not done. The uneasiness I felt was from complacency, I had become too comfortable. It was a feeling I didn’t enjoy. It was time to find a new job.

I pushed myself off the bed and grabbed a towel. My objectives today were to have a shower and then to find a new exciting job. The first one was easy, the second might be more difficult but I would scour the city if I had to. I was Lexi Reed and I had the power to shape my own destiny.