KAYLAN CHANGED INTO a sea green top and flowing beige skirt for church, snatching clothes off her floor as she went. She wished Megan would go with her. After such a short time in California, Kaylan still hadn’t made many friends. Truth be told, she struggled with the idea. She knew to love meant risking her heart, exposing vulnerable places she only allowed the Lord and her family to touch. Despite everything, she wanted a life in California, especially if she and Nick moved forward in their relationship as she hoped.
Still, no one could ever replace Sarah Beth. Kaylan still remembered her bubbly laugh and all the late-night movies and study nights in college. She remembered ballet recitals and their first *NSYNC concert in seventh grade where they’d screamed and cheered until the final note. A small smile tugged at her lips accompanied by the sting of tears.
“No.” She shook her head and blinked back the tears. “No more.” She tossed a pile of laundry in the hamper and then turned to her dresser, intent on finding the necklace Nick had given her. The story behind the lily medallion set her heart racing. His words from the dance studio still reverberated in her mind: “The lily symbolizes everything beautiful and pure. It embodies you.”
“Where is it?” She sighed in frustration and ran her fingers through her hair, turning in a slow circle. She wasn’t exactly neat, but she wasn’t a slob either, and she took care of her things. She fumbled through the jewelry on her dresser again, matching earrings as she went. No sign of the lily.
Her eyes darted to the clock, and she groaned. Even if she left now, she would be five minutes late. She snatched her purse from the floor, bumping into the dresser in her haste. A frame fell and landed with a soft thud face down on the floor.
“You can wait,” Kaylan huffed as she hurried from the room and out to her car, making plans to search for the necklace as soon as she got home. She wouldn’t tolerate losing one of her most precious possessions because of messiness.
After a couple hours searching off and on, Kaylan finally admitted defeat. Her necklace had disappeared, but she would find it after Nick left. Instead of going crazy searching, she went over to Nick and Micah’s house and began to clean. She vacuumed and dusted, washed their laundry, and emptied the refrigerator of perishables. She even watched a movie before turning out the lights.
Now, Kaylan lay curled on the brown leather couch in Micah and Nick’s living room, the night hours stirring nostalgia and dreams. The digital clock on the end table read a little after two in the morning. As she burrowed further into the couch, she thought back to their time on the beach only two nights before. She still couldn’t believe that Nick had whispered those three little words beneath the California moon. Goose bumps trickled down her arms as she remembered his gentle touch and the love in his blue eyes. His laughter as he dunked her in the ocean still set butterflies to flight in her stomach.
He loved her. That knowledge drew her toward him more than she thought possible. In that moment on the beach it was as if a thousand invisible threads stretched between them, binding them. No matter the distance, she could feel their tug and knew it would take an act of God to slice through them. But she couldn’t say it back, and she wasn’t sure why. Something restrained her, and until she identified that thing, she would remain silent.
She curled tighter beneath the blanket and wondered when they would be home. She’d given up on the idea of packing for them. Since she had no idea where they were headed, she wasn’t sure what clothes to pack or how many. Maybe watching the clothes selected would at least tell her the climate. She planned to spend time watching the news for anything weird while they were away, guessing and wondering where they might be.
The key scratched in the lock and Kaylan bolted upright. She squinted toward the door, her sleep-laden eyes adjusting to the light.
“Hurry, Hawk. We’ve got to be back in an hour. Time to roll.”
“Just got to toss some things in my bag. I’m ready to catch this . . . ”
Kaylan cleared her throat, and Nick and Micah whirled, fists clenched.
“Whoa. It’s me.” She chuckled and turned on the lamp. “Y’all are not instilling confidence in me. If I can catch you off guard that easily, what about the bad guys? There’s only one solution.”
Nick leaned over the couch, his smile adding to the light. “And what’s that, gorgeous?”
Kaylan sighed and shook her head, the butterflies in her stomach taking flight again. “Take me with you. Clearly I’m the only professional here. How will you survive?”
A storm rolled over his blue eyes, and she sensed a thousand thoughts jockeyed for prominence in the stretching silence. Behind Nick, Micah crossed his arms with a smirk. It spoke volumes that he accepted their relationship as he watched their battle of wills play out. Nick beckoned her closer as he leaned toward her, his warm breath tickling her ear and sending shivers down her spine. “Not a chance,” he whispered with a quick peck on her cheek. “Come sit with me while I pack. You can drop us off.”
Kaylan forced her body to rise from the couch, her early morning catching up with her. Her rotation with her dietetic internship had the potential to be brutal the next couple of days as she caught up on sleep. But she wouldn’t trade this time as she saw her heroes off.
She stifled a yawn as she entered Nick’s room and plopped down on the edge of his bed, her back finding the wall.
“First things first,” Nick said as he tossed his bag on the bed. He leaned down and tipped Kaylan’s chin up, his lips meeting her own with a passion and determination that both scared and thrilled Kaylan. She wondered if deployments might possibly keep things fresh in their relationship. She would always miss him, but his homecomings would be even sweeter.
He pulled back slowly and rested his forehead on hers. Living in the same state, let alone within close driving distance, was new to their relationship, every moment precious.
“I hate this,” he groaned.
She brought her hands up to rest on his face, feeling the blond stubble already growing on his cheeks and chin. He slowly raised his eyes to meet her own. Her breath caught at their intensity, and she realized for the first time how much he was trying to hold himself together for her, for both of them. Her racing heart settled and something deep within her grew still. She wouldn’t make this more difficult for him. She was the girlfriend of a SEAL. She wouldn’t break. She would send him off with her head held high and be waiting for him when he got home. The miles wouldn’t sever the bond. Just as he fought for their country, she would fight for him, his sanity, his strength, his heart. She would let him go.
A knot formed in her stomach, testing her resolve. She slowly brought her lips to his again. “Go get ’em, babe,” she whispered as she pulled back. She forced herself to bounce up from the bed, hoping her energy and focus on helping him pack would let him know she would be okay.
Micah rounded the corner as Kaylan grabbed Nick’s few toiletries from the bathroom. “Seriously, dude?”
“I’m hurrying, Bulldog. Chill out.”
Micah turned to Kaylan and rolled his eyes. “If you aren’t going to help, then leave. And why haven’t you been helping me, your ever-loving, favorite, second-to-oldest brother?”
“That’s quite a title.” Kaylan walked past Micah, tossing something in Nick’s bag before she came back to slug her brother’s arm. “We all know you are an expert packer because of your years living with me. Nick hasn’t had the benefit of my expertise.”
Micah eyed Nick’s nearly empty bag and shook his head. “I’m thinking y’all were doing something other than packing.” He approached her, his finger aimed at her face. “And as your favorite older brother, I should warn you that I can and will leave him on this mission if he isn’t behaving himself with you. Tell me now, Kayles.”
Her laughter spilled over as Nick’s brows raised and he came to a standstill. “Leave me behind? Watch it, Bulldog. That’s blasphemy. Never leave a man behind.” He smirked. “And kicking my tail is highly questionable. We both know who always wins that fight.”
Micah threw his chest out and approached Nick, reminding Kaylan of little boys arguing over who built the bigger mud pie. Kaylan stepped in between them, her laughter drawing smiles to their pseudo-tough faces.
“All right, hotshots. You made your point. Save it for the bad guys.”
“You.” She turned to Nick and stood on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek, sending him the smile she saved just for him. “Finish packing.”
“And you.” She turned to Micah, her heart dancing as she felt the familiar tug of home and family and Alabama. “Don’t ever let Dave catch you calling yourself my favorite older brother. He really might bury you in a box and throw you in the lake.”
Micah’s grin bloomed, reminding her of his mischievous escapades as a child when he would hide her dolls or her dance shoes just so he could chase her around the house while she looked for them. “Dave doesn’t have a violent bone in his body. Competitive, sure. Violent, absolutely not.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. Challenge Melody, or me, or mom, or Gran, and you might have a fight on your hands.”
Micah tapped a finger on his chin and pretended to ponder for a moment. Kaylan tried to sucker punch him in the stomach, but he moved quickly. Pinning her arms, he began poking her rib cage, sending her squealing.
“I give. I give. I give.” Kaylan drew a deep breath as Micah let her go, sending her tumbling into Nick. Her ribs ached from his jabs and her constant laughter. She would remember this moment until they came home. Thankfully it wasn’t a true deployment with their full team. They would travel with Support Activity 1, take care of their assignment, and then come home to prep for their next deployment a little over a year away. Kaylan knew they would travel and train all over the country as needed between now and then, but at least then she knew they wouldn’t face enemy fire.
The knot in her stomach re-formed with a tug, and she took a deep breath, steadying herself again. Nick grabbed his bag from the bed and slung it over his shoulder.
“Drop us off, babe?”
She smiled up at him, now wishing the time hadn’t slipped by so quickly. “Wouldn’t miss it.”
She looped her arm around his waist and followed her brother to the car.