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THE COUPLE STEPPED into the front entry of the tiny chapel and Lucky realized his earlier assumptions had been right. This had, at one time, been someone’s home. It looked like it hadn’t changed since the 1970’s. Gold and orange shag carpeting went on through every room, while large hanging crystal swag lights dominated every corner. A white crushed velvet sofa sat next to a small writing desk. The elderly woman behind the desk was actually sitting in a pink velvet tufted chair, pictures of cherubs covering the wall behind her. Looking around, Lucky vowed that he would remarry Claudia at home as soon as possible.
“Mr. Coalson, we have you down for the deluxe wedding scenario, including flowers, music and, of course, pictures and an edited DVD for you to remember your special day. There is a small issue – it appears our regular marriage officiant has suddenly become ill, so we have arranged for a replacement. Is that agreeable to you?” the elderly woman asked.
The placard on her desk read ‘Erma Lipsmiler’. Lucky bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. “Yes, Erma, that’s fine.”
She looked over her cat eye glasses. “I should warn you...”
Noah stepped up. “He said its fine. Let’s get this show on the road.”
Everyone turned to him. “Sorry, but this monkey suit chafes my balls.” He adjusted himself, rolling his neck in discomfort.
“Er, follow me.” Erma stood and hastened down a small hall to the end door. Opening it, Lucky saw it was a small yellow chapel complete with pillars, draping, and a podium. He thought the only thing missing was a casket and it would double as a funeral home. He sighed. This was not what he had in mind.
Claudia took his hand and reached up to whisper in his ear. “It’s fine. Think of it as an adventure.”
Lucky squeezed her hand and nodded.
Noah ran a critical eye around the room. “Where’s the preacher?”
“He will be along shortly,” Erma answered. “Now,” she looked down at the paper in her hand, “Claudia, you will come with me.” She motioned at Noah. “You too, since you are giving her away, correct?”
Noah turned beet red. Claudia came to his rescue. “Yes, I think that would be perfect.” She released Lucky’s hand and walked up to Noah. “What do you say, Noah?”
Noah gulped. He nodded and took her hand to follow the elderly manager and Lucky was left alone. He checked his visage in the large gold baroque mirror near the podium.
“Well, ah, hello there, son. What’s got you all shook up, uh ahuh?”
Lucky looked in the mirror to the left. Sure enough, a miniature Elvis, complete with fake black hair, rhinestone sunglasses and a gold lame’ suit, stood behind him, swiveling his hips in, yep, blue suede shoes.
Lucky hung his head and groaned.