Chapter Twelve
groceries and prepped in the kitchen at her place, Chris ran home in the rain, let the dogs out, and packed up a little dog travel pack with several cans of food, a container of the dry kibble, a couple chew toys, and two dog dishes, one for food and one for water. In a zippered bag, he tossed in a toothbrush and fresh socks, underwear and a t-shirt. His place and all his stuff weren’t far down the road from Beth’s, but he planned to stay overnight and didn’t want to run back-and-forth.
He stopped and stared down at his duffle bag. Fuck. He’d never packed to stay overnight anywhere at a woman’s place. He blamed it on the rain. Of course, this thing with Beth wasn’t about scratching an itch or getting off. Well, it was about that, but it was different. He grabbed enough dry wood off his back porch to build a fire in Beth’s kiva fireplace. The rain had paused, and he hustled to get the dogs and his stuff into the vehicle before it started up again.
The dogs danced with excitement when they discovered they were going out with him to the truck. Normally, they settled in for an afternoon nap after his midday check-in. They climbed into the passenger door with enthusiasm, being sure to give him several big licks on the face before he got them settled down enough to close the door, round the vehicle, climb in and turn on the truck before heading back to Beth’s.
When they pulled up in front of her house, the dogs could barely contain their joy, whimpering with anticipation, their noses pressed against the side window, their fur rippling down their bodies. Apparently, they approved of Beth. Beth liking the dogs in return had been a bonus he would never have hoped for.
He got out of the truck, rounded the hood and let the dogs out, grateful for a lull in the rain and Beth’s hard-packed earth keeping the level of mud and dirt down to the minimum. He opened the gate and herded the dogs up to the door, knocking to let Beth know he’d returned. She opened the door right away, stepping to the side to let them in.
The dogs immediately crowded her, but he’d trained them not to jump up, and he was pleased they were on good behavior despite their emotional state.
“How are you two?” Beth crouched down to their level, and they whined with pleasure as she scratched their ears simultaneously. Her greeting pushed them out of the well-trained states, and they overwhelmed her with licks and kisses, tipping her onto her butt.
She laughed as Chris caught the dogs by their collars and commanded them to sit. Beth pushed up from the floor and smiled at him.
“I think your dogs like me.”
Chris smiled, softening up at her genuine interaction with the dogs. Those dogs were part of his life. As much as he liked Beth’s style, if it had been too refined for big dogs who get muddy and require more than a purse to carry them around in, he’d have been damned disappointed. Instead, it was one more reason to trust his feelings about Beth.
“Well, you let them sleep on that fancy couch with us last night,” he teased her.
“What happens once I slip them bacon in the morning?”
He clutched his heart in exaggerated horror. “Are you trying to steal their affection away from me?”
“I seriously doubt that could happen,” she teased back. He had his doubts. “I can see they adore you.”
“Well, they are pretty smart dogs.” He checked their front paws, which seemed dry enough to allow them to move around freely without tracking a ton of mud into Beth’s house. He snapped his fingers, and they dutifully trailed them into the kitchen.
She gestured to the bag in his hands. “Dog supplies?”
“Yup. Among other things.” Suddenly, he wondered whether she’d get spooked he’d brought his toothbrush. Hell, he was spooked he’d brought his toothbrush. “What’s the amazing smell?”
She shrugged. “I might be making butter cookies for after-dinner movie-watching.”
“There was popcorn in the grocery bag.” He’d bought several items not on the list, including potatoes and carrots, a few apples and oranges, grapes, a fresh chicken, a pack of steaks, and several tubs of ice cream in a variety of flavors. Even though he ate lunch at the café frequently, he tried to eat decently, cooking his meals fresh. He doubted he could complete with Beth’s cooking, but he could scrape together a healthy meal.
“Yeah, about that. How much food do you think we’ll need for the night?”
“Think of it as welcome-to-the-neighborhood food pack.” And he hoped to be having more meals in the next few days. Did buying groceries for the week fit in with a one day at a time plan? No, but he also knew the roads would be rough for several days from this storm and he didn’t want her risking her car’s tires or suspension, or her safety.
She looked at him with warm eyes, making him feel like he’d done something right.
“Is this weather common up here? Am I going to need to trade my car in for a truck?”
The idea of Beth ditching her sleek car for a four-wheel drive definitely appealed. They got snow and some of the local roads were pretty steep, occasionally requiring chains.
“It’s something to think about,” he nodded, liking the idea even more as he thought about it. He’d take her into the dealership himself, make sure she got a good deal and the right truck for her.
Beth emptied the dog dishes and food out of the sack. She promptly filled one of the dishes with water, and after a sweeping survey of the kitchen, placed it down next to the pantry door, out of the way of cooking traffic. The dogs both went to the dish and immediately began drinking as if they’d been thirsty, even though they’d had their fill of water 20 minutes prior.
Beth noted his personal items and tactfully folded the top over the sack and pushed it to the side. He watched her blush.
“I like to brush my teeth at night, and in the morning.”
“Of course, and you’re staying the night, so it makes sense to bring a few necessities.”
He’d gone long enough without touching her, so he stepped up to her and slid his arms around her hips, tugging her close.
“I admit I’ve never brought my toothbrush to a woman’s place before. Or clean socks. Guess I don’t want you to think I’m a slob.”
“I don’t—.” He cut her protest off with a gentle kiss, then deepened it to show her how much he liked her. When he pulled back, she was breathless and flushed.
She tipped her head forward and rested it on his chest.
“Guy could convince a girl to forget everything with kisses like that.”
“That’s only fair, since it goes both ways.”
She looked up at him, and they gave each other silly grins. Damn, she made him feel like he was eighteen again.
The oven’s timer dinged, so she broke free and headed to the shiny stainless-steel appliance. He followed over, watching her use thick pads to lift the square pan out of the oven.
“That smells amazing,” he told her. “But it doesn’t look like cookies.”
“Shortbread,” she explained. She took a fork from a drawer and poked holes in rows down and across the pan. Then she used a small sharp knife to cut the cookies into rows.
“We’ll let the pan cool, then turn it over and finish cutting these into little rectangular cookies.”
“I recognize those from the cookie aisle now.”
“Well, be prepared to discover the pleasure of homemade shortbread. These will melt like the butter on your tongue. No dry, hard biscuits.”
“My mouth is watering already.”
Beth set the pan on the back of the stove to cool and turned to him.
“It’s still too early for dinner. What do you want to do?”
He reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear.
“I can hear the rain starting up again. Cuddling on the couch sounds good. I also brought wood for your fireplace.”
Her eyes lit up.
“A late afternoon nap in front of the fire?” She raised her eyebrows. “I had a gas fire in California and have never made a wood fire. Wasn’t feeling ready to do it, but the realtor required the previous owner to have it certified as safe before the sale. I mean, if it’s not too boring to just sit in front of a fire.”
“Hell no! I’m still tired from last night. I need to recover and rest up for later.” He leered with exaggeration at her and smacked her butt. She giggled. At least he wasn’t the only one acting like a teenager. Honestly, feeling young and horny at 50 felt amazing. He’d thought he’d never feel like this over a woman. He’d been certain he’d never fall for someone, but Beth was something special.
That’s what they did. As boring—or emotionally uncomfortable—as the idea would have sounded to Chris even a week ago, or with any other person, the idea of cuddling and snoozing with this woman and the dogs while the cold rain pounded the house outside sounded like a slice of heaven. He thought to himself, what if being with Beth didn’t mean living with a lot of drama?
Chris and the dogs stayed through the weekend. The rain kept falling on and off, and, due to higher-than-average rainfall, areas had flooded. Small rockslides reportedly blocked a couple of routes into Agua Pecos. The only damage Beth or Chris suffered was standing water on their properties and some wet, muddy trips outdoors with the dogs. But they also discovered Beth’s luxury shower was perfect for bathing the dogs.
Saturday afternoon, Chris inspected Beth’s big tree out back and determined a professional tree trimming would take care of the damaged branches, and clean up the look of the tree as well. Beth added calling around for tree trimmers on her to-do list for the following Monday. Along with resuming her writing. These rainy days should have been devoted to writing her novel, but instead, she found herself distracted by Chris and the dogs. He wasn’t working because of the heavy rains, so she didn’t bring it up. He didn’t suggest his returning home for more than clean clothes, and she didn’t suggest he stay away when he did go. He took a few work-related calls, and she always vacated the room to give him privacy whenever he answered the phone.
Otherwise, the days and nights blurred into several blissful days of engaging in exceptional sex, cooking together, snuggling, and streaming shows on Beth’s giant television screen. Chris had expressed surprise she had such an elaborate media set-up for a woman, including a surround sound system, a turntable, and even a CD/DVD drive. That had prompted the unpacking of all her albums, CDs and DVDs early on Sunday afternoon.
“I love music, movies and television shows, as well as books,” she confessed as she slid albums into the bottom shelf of the large bookcase she’d had brought out from California. It was custom made for her music collection, with taller shelves for the albums at the bottom, and shorter and shallower shelves for the CDs and DVDs.
“How many albums, CDs and DVDs have you got, woman? I thought everyone had gone digital,” Chris teased her, as he hefted yet another box over from the far corner where she had them stacked out of the way.
“Far too many. Add my boxes of books to the move, and you can imagine how much grumbling the guys did. I think they’d rather have moved more large pieces of furniture than another box of CDs.”
When Beth had first suggested unpacking a few boxes, Chris had insisted on carrying them out to the living area next to the shelves to make for easier work.
“Some of these albums look old and valuable.” Chris pulled out her copy of the Beatles’ White Album.
“I suppose if they were in better condition, they might be,” she sighed. “I got my love for music from my dad, and most of the albums I have were his originally, although I started my own collection while I was in high school. We bought them to play them, not as collector items, so they’ve gotten scratches over time. I haven’t bought any vintage albums because, generally, I buy CDs, and I’m not technically a collector. I had cassette tapes at one time, but I had to replace them with digital copies because, well, it’s actually hard to find working cassette players, and my last one died a decade ago.”
She cut into another box to discover her CDs.
“Shit. That’s a lot of CDs.”
She blushed. “I know I should go 100% digital, but I enjoy having the actual music in physical form. Same with my favorite books. Fortunately, I have switched to digital books, otherwise you wouldn’t see the walls in this house.”
He pulled out an Eminem CD and then a Bach CD. “Pop, country, rap, classic, rock…you seem to listen to everything.”
“I do. What about you?”
“I listen to country, I suppose. Whatever is playing on the radio when I’m in my truck. I haven’t paid much attention to music since I graduated high school.”
“What do you listen to when you’re home?”
“Uh…I guess I put the television on in the background. That’s how I get the news.”
“I read the news on my computer or phone, usually. It’s gotten so crazy with politics, I can’t stand watching it on television anymore.”
Chris worked to move her DVD collection to its designated shelf.
“Are you big on politics?”
“Well, I’m a woman, so I had better be.”
He stopped shelving and looked over at her. “What does that mean?”
“Just that women still don’t have equal rights or equal pay, so I can’t ignore the political climate, which is working to deny women even the limited rights they have.”
Chris snorted derisively. “Most women I know are doing okay…more of them went to college than the guys I know, and plenty have professional jobs, like my sisters. They make okay money, as far as I can tell.”
Beth crossed her arms, concerned. She suddenly realized why it wasn’t a good thing to just enjoy the sex and get emotionally involved with someone so quickly.
“I didn’t think you were particularly conservative,” she parried. “You haven’t mentioned anything associated with things I consider conservative.”
Chris glanced over at her, suddenly realizing the conversation had gotten serious, quickly.
“What do you consider conservative?”
“Well, going to church, collecting guns, saying things like a woman’s place. Those kinds of signals.”
Chris caught her wrists in his hands, tugged them apart, and pulled her close.
“I don’t like to get political, and I consider who I vote for to be a private matter. Let’s not let something as stupid as politics be something to fight about.”
Beth tipped her head, and she pursed her lips. He thought about kissing her to change the topic, but something told him she wouldn’t be open to a distraction right now.
“I need to ask you. Are you pro-choice?”
Chris shuffled his feet. “I’m not anti-choice. Look. I can’t get pregnant, so I don’t think it’s my place to decide whether women can get abortions, okay? And though I hated causing an unwanted pregnancy, I still love my kid and took responsibility for her. But I don’t vote on a single issue either.”
Beth nodded, taking in what he was saying.
“Does that mean you’ve voted for political candidates who are against legal abortions?”
“I may have. As a businessman, my concerns are more about taxes and business regulations. I try to stay out of the social issue end of things.”
Beth pulled free and paced away from him.
She took a deep breath and turned to face him.
“Did you vote conservative in either of the last presidential elections?”
Shit. He sighed, knowing where this was going.
“I may have. I told you I don’t talk about politics or tell people who to vote for or tell them who I voted for. Plain and simple. Everyone should vote as they see fit.”
“That might have been true for all the other decades of the 20th century, though the further back you go, the less it’s true. But these past two elections have been critically important because the conservative candidate was a womanizing grifter who mocks people with disabilities and even tried to overturn the legitimate election.”
Damn, but he felt his resentment climbing. He’d made it clear politics were a personal right. This is exactly why he’d never wanted to be in a relationship. As far as he could see, it was never long before the other person started telling the guy what to do. He stared at Beth and tried to calm down. She was upset, her face flushed, her chest rising and falling with deep emotion. He could make a concession, right? That didn’t mean she was going to tell him how to vote.
“I didn’t vote for him in this last election.” He had decided not to vote at all.
She nodded, taking in his answer, and it seemed to calm her. Then she wrapped her arms around her torso in a defensive position again. She looked away.
“Are you planning on voting for anyone like him in the future?”
Chris rubbed his eyes, felt a tension headache coming on. He’d been through similar conversations with his sisters and it had ended in a stretch of time in which they stopped speaking cordially to each other for a while.
“I don’t know. I might. I don’t vote until an election is happening, and I can see who the candidates are. I don’t like big social programs, because I don’t think they work so I can’t see myself voting liberal. Like ever.”
She was quiet for so long, he had to break the silence, which was only growing more tense.
“Beth?”
She finally looked at him and nodded jerkily. Her arms had settled into a tightly crossed shield over her chest.
“I’ve had a good time these past few days, but I think you should go home now.”
Guess he wouldn’t get to enjoy her special chicken mole recipe after all. As it hit him she might kick him to the curb, his chest contracted and he felt sick to his stomach. He should have known an educated woman from California, and a former public school teacher to boot, was going to be a bleeding-heart liberal. Yet, here he was, suddenly rethinking everything he knew about life and himself, and not in a good way.
He might have been willing to put up with a steady woman for the first time in his life, spend time riding his bike, eating meals, watching movies, playing with the dogs, all together, but he would not change his core set of beliefs about the world in exchange for good sex. Even as he thought it, he knew his time with Beth had been about more than sex. Is it possible to be in denial if you know you’re in denial?
“Yeah, I think it’d be good for us to take a break. Going from not even knowing each other to spending the past week together nonstop…a bit crazy.”
Forcing his frustration and anger down, he walked to the bathroom, grabbed his toothbrush and duffle bag, returned to the kitchen and tossed in everything he’d brought for the dogs, along. He zipped it closed. Then he snapped his fingers and the dogs, who’d already sat up, alert to the tension in the room, trotted to his feet.
Beth stood by the couch, not saying anything. She looked a little shellshocked and like she might be fighting tears. Damn, he wanted to throw down his stuff and take her into his arms, convince her not to send him away. He hardened his heart instead. A lifetime of hardening his heart made it easy enough. Then he led the dogs to the door and opened it, turning as he was about to go through.
“It’s been nice knowing you, Beth. Take care.”
Then he left, shutting the door with a solid thud.
Beth held back her tears until the door closed, the thick wood settling into the original casing like a clam closing its shell. She felt like she’d been slapped in the face. She could hear his truck start up and roar away. She berated herself. She should have known this would happen. The man rode a motorcycle, worked construction, and lived in the boondocks. Well, she lived in the boondocks, too, she thought wryly, but that was a choice related to wanting to live on a budget so she could write, not so she didn’t have to pay taxes. She had a half hour cry and felt a lot better. When she got angry or frustrated, she always needed a release.
Couldn’t men be masculine, macho, and sensitive? Apparently not. Clearly, Chris wasn’t particularly concerned about women or the poor. Or children, or education. Or…she slumped down onto the sofa and curled up. Kyle hadn’t been terribly concerned about those things either, but he had voted for liberal candidates in deference to her work as a public school teacher. Plus, he had openly despised the conservative presidential candidate for a whole host of reasons, including his treatment of women and minorities. Consequently, politics had never been a huge issue between them. She knew they didn’t vote identically, but she trusted him not to vote against his wife’s interests.
Ugh. Men. They would never change. She should have stuck to her romance novels and stash of sex toys. She might have written another ten chapters of her book over the weekend, instead she spent time cooking meals for a man again. She’d enjoyed it, too. Then, of course, the sex had been phenomenal. But she wouldn’t fall in love with someone because of great sex, or within a week’s time of knowing them. Her emotional reaction to Chris had to be due to the newness of the situation. She hadn’t taken emotional risks like this since she was in her early 20s. Now, she reminded herself to slow things down. Despite her desire to carry on casually with someone, it wasn’t in her DNA to do so. Not a problem. It might take a few weeks to recover, but she was strong enough to move on, if they were finished. Like fireworks, they exploded and lit up things for a minute, but now they’d run out of fuel and all that was left was smoke and ash.
She looked over at the half-unpacked boxes spread across the floor. She’d finish unpacking, and put on a favorite album, and play it as loud as she wanted. She lived alone, and she didn’t have to change her behavior for anyone.
She picked up her phone and tapped out a message to Adriana and Penny.
Beth: ES-EN > AF-NF > NE-RA. Extraordinary Sex - Exchange Numbers > All Fun - No Fighting > Never Ever–Run Away.
Penny: THAT WAS OVER FAST.
Adriana: WHO DID THE RUNNING?
Beth: MAYBE…MUTUAL?
Adriana: [MARTINI GLASS EMOJI]
Beth found her Alanis Morrisette CDs and put Jagged Little Pill on, cranking the volume up high. Within two hours, she’d unpacked all her albums, CDs and DVDs and started alphabetizing them as well. She’d also eaten all the ice cream Chris brought into the house.