Chapter Eight

Beth threw her head back as Chris came back down over her without further ado, and attacked her lips again. All she could think about was what it felt like to be the object of his desire. It felt damned good. Feeling truly wanted was the biggest turn-on. She slid her fingers into his hair and clutched his thick locks. In the back of her mind, she marveled at how soft it was.

Chris moved down her neck, nibbling the skin there, then moving to her breasts again. Beth had always enjoyed having her breasts touched during sex, but she couldn’t ever remember having them caressed, kissed and loved with such intensity.

Chris was more aggressive and rougher than any previous lovers. It thrilled her and made her want to act with the same confidence and assertiveness in return. The added stimulation from Chris’s beard only expanded her pleasure, reminding her she was with a man who didn’t manscape. The beard, combined with his faint earthy smell of sweat and sawdust, acquired from manual labor, and Chris’s personal scent, made her head reel.

As Chris slid further down her body, she realized it was with the intent to kiss and lick her between her legs. She felt herself become self-conscious again. She hadn’t had spontaneous sex in a decade at least, and she wished now she’d showered and tended to herself before Chris arrived.

“Ah, you don’t have to do—”

Her concerns were cut off when he shouldered her legs farther apart and slid his fingers through her sensitive folds, parting them to the cool air, then licked her from her center up to her clit. He pulled back for a moment to praise her.

“Gorgeous, you are soaking for me. Damn, you taste good.”

Okay, then. She suspected she was growing wet, but there was no question about it from the excess fluid he was spreading up and around her clit, stroking his calloused fingers across her skin. Before she could respond, he was licking, kissing and sucking her with so much intensity all she could do was cling to his head and submit to the internal rising tensions driving her towards climax.

He slid one long, thick finger into her, and then two, pumping them in and out, stimulating her insides, rubbing against the front wall of her vagina in concert with the play of his tongue against her clit, hitting all the right spots. That was all it took.

She cried out Chris’s name in surprise as her orgasm crested and flooded her with pleasure, undulating out across her whole body, out to her fingers and toes. That was the fastest she’d ever come in her life. She sagged back against the couch and tugged at his hair to let him know she needed him to stop.

He seemed to be reluctant, leaving a dozen parting kisses, but he pulled his fingers free and shifted up to give her a long, wet, dirty kiss on the lips. She tasted herself on his lips and his beard. His worn t-shirt brushed against her stomach, his jeans rough against her calves.

She directed his head up with her hands and they stared into each other’s eyes for a long moment before he kissed her again and then flipped them around so she was sprawled out across his big body. She could feel the firm bulge of his cock against her hip.

“Don’t want to crush you.”

“I wouldn’t notice if you did,” she sighed, laying her head down on his chest in contentment, still breathing fast. His t-shirt was soft from many washings and his beard ticked her cheek. She could doze off. “That was incredible. Give me a minute to recover and then I’ll take care of you.”

“This isn’t quid pro quo, you know.”

She slid her hand down over his crotch and boldly cupped his hard cock.

“Did you enjoy giving me an orgasm?” she asked sweetly.

“Hell, yes. I intend to make you come a couple more times before the night ends.”

“Well, good luck with that. I’m two seconds from blacking out. If I don’t have something to do to occupy my attention, like play with this,”—she squeezed him— “then you will not be able to succeed with your evil plan to kill me with pleasure.”

He chuckled.

“That was cheesy, right?”

“You can be as cheesy as you want, Beth, if you keep touching me. It’s the only thing stopping me from coming in my jeans like an over-excited teenager.”

Beth took a deep breath and pushed herself up with renewed purpose. She’d never been assertive in bed, and the books she read and wanted to write described scenes often lacking the anxiety that went with being naked with someone for the first time. She positioned herself directly over his hips, settling so his arousal was tucked tight against her vagina opening.

“Time for you to get naked too,” she said, tugging his shirt up. He helped her pull it off, over his head.

His chest was furred with brown and silver hair, and she took a moment to pet it, combing her fingers through the short coarse hair, admiring the muscular shape of his pecs underneath. His skin was tanned as dark as his arms, suggesting he spent time outside without a shirt on. Chris watched her face intently as she caressed him, stroking across his chest and over his bulging biceps.

“You don’t have as many tattoos as I expected.”

“Is there a goal?” he asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Nope. What’s this one about,” she asked, stroking his left arm, tracing the tribal letters and motorcycle in black.

“That’s the club mascot.”

“Your motorcycle club?”

“The one I ride with, yes.”

“And this tattoo?” she asked, studying a bouquet of four roses in red and black, bound by a braided rope.

“That’s for my mom, my sisters and my kid.”

She poked him in the chest. “You’re a big softy, aren’t you?”

“Does this feel soft to you?” He thrust up against her, and she giggled.

“How long are you planning to distract yourself with the top of my body?”

She pinched his nipples. “Til right now,” she teased smartly, giving him a coy smile, and slid her hands straight down to his belt buckle. She struggled for a moment to unhook it, then she unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans.

“Such a big buckle. Very cowboy of you,” she said, “except this buckle features a Harley Davidson on it instead of a horse.”

“My Harley is my horse.”

“Do you ride often?”

Chris groaned as she reached inside and encircled his hard cock with her bare fingers.

“Can we talk about it later? That’s not ride I’m interested in at the moment.”

She smiled at him, the humor in her eyes showing him she was a dangerous tease.

“Certainly.”

She climbed off of him and tugged his jeans off. Finally. He lifted his hips to help, and she dragged the jeans and his boxers off at the same time. She tugged each sock off as well, and tossed them on the floor.

Then she remained standing to admire the big man laid out before her. He had a flat stomach, muscular legs, and a nice, long, thick cock. She imagined what it would feel like sliding into her. She licked her lips, and it bobbed.

“Beth, I warned you taking my clothes off was going to lead to more than kisses.”

She let her eyes trail up his body. She met his eyes.

“Do you have a condom?”

“Hell, yes, I have a condom. I got a new pack out in the truck, too. Just in case.”

She grinned.

“Is that a warning or a promise?”

“With you, I hope it’s a promise.”

“First,” she told him primly, as she swung her leg over him so she could sit on him again, “I get to do some of the kissing.”

She skooched down so her face was over his cock. He watched her take it in her hand and stroke it once, twice, his gaze growing hot and fierce. The skin was soft and loose over the steel underneath. He was uncircumcised, and she liked the extra skin and the way it moved under her strokes.

“Don’t take too long.”

“Is that an order?”

“No, it’s a plea,” he choked out as she bent down and opened her mouth over the head to give it a quick suck.

“Jesus,” he moaned and grabbed hold of her hair, wrapping a chunk of her long locks around his fist.

He was going to have a heart attack, no question about it. He’d had plenty of blow jobs over the years. In fact, it had been his primary means of getting off at the club. Not that he didn’t enjoy fucking; it was that he had always enjoyed getting serviced more than he’d like doing the servicing. He knew it made him a selfish bastard, but the women who spent time out at the club seemed to like the power exchange of playing the server. It was sick, but it was reality. And it was consensual.

The power exchange had never bothered him until now. More often, it’d turned him on. Being with Beth, it didn’t even seem like he was engaged in the same activity. The blow jobs he’d gotten at the club had been performances more than anything. The women competed for reputations of being the best. Because the women were indiscriminate about who they blew or fucked, he’d always used condoms regardless, even for blow jobs. It had made little difference to his basic pleasure. He came. The protection gave him peace of mind.

He didn’t want a condom on now. He wanted Beth’s bare lips and soft tongue directly on his skin. He wanted to feel every nuanced sensation. Her hot, wet mouth. Her soft lips.

Beth was no master, but she mastered him nonetheless. Watching her put her luscious mouth on him, and feeling her lips and tongue kissing, licking and sucking his cock simply left him wrecked. He felt…he felt. That was it. He felt like he was in the present moment. Nothing else mattered. Being here, skin-to-skin with this woman. If they were performing, it was about pleasing each other. Even though they had only met, the attraction was more than physical. The intimacy that came with the sex act was the most powerful emotional experience of his life.

Though nothing had ever felt as wonderful as Beth kissing him like this, he knew he wanted to be inside her. He wished he could be inside her bare, but he hadn’t had a health check since the last time he was with a woman, and he might put Beth at risk. Shit. He shouldn’t have even let her go down on him.

“Beth, honey,” he coaxed her head up.

“Yeah?” she looked up at him, her lips beautifully swollen but a question in her eyes.

“We should use a condom.”

“For this?” She pointed at his cock, quizzically.

He knew most couples didn’t use condoms for oral, but didn’t want to explain about his shady sex history, so he smiled wryly at her. “I should get tested to keep you safe.”

“Okay. Well, you do that. I’m clean. I got tested after I found out my ex was cheating on me. Needless to say, we didn’t have sex after that revelation.”

“I got tested less than a year ago, and I was clean, and I’m usually more careful than I’ve been today. I haven’t had sex without a condom since I got tested. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

How had this scene gotten so awkward so fast? He closed his eyes. They were adults. They should have had this conversation first.

His eyes flew open as she grabbed hold of his still-hard cock and started pumping it lightly.

“I think we should find that condom you mentioned, and proceed to the next stage of the evening. What do you think?”

“Honestly,” he laughed, “I can’t think when you’re doing that.”

She grinned and reached down to the floor to pick up his jeans. She rooted around in the pocket and pulled out his wallet. He took it when she handed it to him and he found the square packed tucked in the side pocket.

She accepted the condom out of his hand, ripped it open with her teeth, removed it from the packaging, and rolled it on to his dick, an act far more utilitarian than sexy. Didn’t matter her technique, he was thinking anything Beth did turned him on.

“There we go,” she said matter-of-factly. “All set.”

Then she scooted up, positioned herself over his cock and sank down with a deep sigh, the way he imagined she’d sound if she were sinking into a hot bath after a long hike in the New Mexico desert during the cold winter. Then she rode him.

She braced herself on his chest, and he was grateful for his work keeping him in shape. His chest muscles were harder than they’d been when he was twenty. And the way her eyes kept roaming over his flat stomach and its muscles as he met her down strokes with his upward thrusts made him realize he cared about how she saw him physically. Taking her out to dinner, he’d felt like he’d had beautiful arm candy at his side. Maybe he was the arm candy in this scenario. The only muscles she’d probably encountered in men back in that rich California seaside town she came from had been the product of recreational exercise.

His muscles had been honed and maintained over decades of solid, daily work. He knew women at the club had appreciated his body, what little he shared of it, by the things they’d said and the way they often competed to get him off on any party night. But it hadn’t mattered to him.

And no previous sexual encounter had properly prepared him for the view of Beth on top of him, her tits shaking, her long silky silver hair fluttering up and down, and sticking to the sweat cresting her brow. He reached up and cupped her breasts, massaging them, sliding his thumbs across her tight nipples. She arched approvingly into his palms and moaned out loud.

His balls tightened up. If she didn’t come soon, he was going to lose it. The pleasure of her grinding down on him, creating a heavenly friction, his hardness sliding against her softness, was better than anything he could remember. He needed to experience her skin-to-skin next time. He reached a hand down and pressed it up against her clit. They were wet with her fluids, and he used them to slide slick circles around and around, putting pressure on the side of her clit where the nerves were hard and aroused.

“Oh god, Chris,” she cried. One more swirl, and she tipped over the edge with a soft, surprised cry of pleasure. He grabbed hold of her hips and thrust up hard and fast. Within seconds, he tumbled after her, experiencing one of the most powerful orgasms in his life.

“God damn. Shit. Fuck. That was…” He didn’t have the words. He pulled her down into a sprawl across his body, and she shifted to lay her head tucked up under his chin. Her long hair spread out over them, sticking to their sweaty skin. They were both breathing hard.

They dozed for about a half an hour, not moving. When Beth stirred, the fact they’d failed to address the condom promptly after sex meant they had a mess on their hands. They managed to both get up and control the condom without leaving the mess on the sofa.

“Do you want a quick shower?” She gestured at the sticky mess on the top of his thighs.

“Yeah, I would.”

She showed Chris into the bathroom, and while he showered, she used the bidet to clean up.

“You don’t see a lot of those in America,” Chris commented as he stepped out after a two-minute rinse off. “So that’s how you use it.”

“Yeah,” she agreed. “It’s a feature I liked about the house.”

He dried off with one of her towels, luxuriously soft towels, of course. In the past, he’d have derided the idea of owning such frivolous things, being more of a utilitarian guy, but he could appreciate the sensual pleasure of the expensive plush material. Maybe he was getting soft in his old age.

“Are you hungry now?”

Beth had pulled on another silky robe, this one matching the color of her eyes and imprinted with butterflies, making the blue stand out, even in the low light.

“A quick bite. I’ve got the dogs waiting for me at home, and though I stopped and let them out to run around for a bit before I came over, they’ll be wondering where I am.”

“Sure,” she said. “A set of German Shepherds, right?”

He’d told her a couple of funny stories about Zelda and Jaeger at dinner the night before.

“They have a large enclosed run and big dog house inside my fenced property, but I bring them in at night. They, uh, sleep on the bed with me.”

He suddenly realized his dogs might not be something Beth would find acceptable. Fancy bedding and big dogs did not go together. If he thought she’d react negatively, he was wrong.

She laughed and shook her head.

“You’re a big softy, aren’t you?”

“Nah. I got them as pups four years ago, and I let them sleep on the bed early on, when they were scared and then, well, that was that. If I try to shoo them off, they act like I’ve kicked them while they’re down. I can’t face their forlorn faces.”

Getting the dogs had marked a change in his habits. He’d stopped heading out to the club as often, started skipping a few beers at the bar with his work crew after a long day. He’d had the pups to get home to, and then, it’d evolved into a pattern. The dogs were waiting for him at the end of the day, and he liked having them in the house. On the weekends, they got up, had breakfast, played catch and exercised in his fenced acreage, had lazy afternoon naps and then stayed in to watch a game or movie on the television. He hadn’t felt lonely, not really. Though the idea of having a woman around to eat dinner and chat with during the games and shows had crossed his mind occasionally. At the time, all he could picture were women from the club, or a nice girl next door he’d categorize in with his sisters, and it hadn’t felt like a fit. Now, he imagined that woman being Beth. He liked the idea. Too much.

Shit. He looked at his watch. Eight-thirty. The dogs would wonder where he was.

“You know, I think I’ll head out.”

“But all the food you brought. You need to take it with you.”

“I brought it for you.”

She raised a dubious eyebrow. Her shoulders were back and her hands were fisted on her hips, pulling the robe tight across her chest and drawing his attention to her fine rack.

“I thought you brought it for us to share?”

Chris felt torn. Part of him wanted to stay the night. Find out how nice it’d be to sleep on soft sheets with Beth curled up along his side. He hadn’t spent the night with a woman, other than his once-a-month hook-ups with Evelyn. Another part of him suddenly felt so out of his comfort zone all he could think was to get the hell out.

Beth’s smile shifted from teasing to forced, as if she’d suddenly realized that he was bailing on her for more complicated reasons than the dogs.

“Here, let me keep a little to eat, and repackage the rest for you to take home. I bet Jaeger and Zelda would forgive your being late if you shared the brisket with them.”

He nodded. He suddenly felt overwhelmed by the past few days. He needed space to work out what the hell was happening to his simple life of no emotional ties or obligations.

She headed for the kitchen, and he got momentarily distracted by the sway of her hips before following on her heels.

“Beth, I didn’t mean to make this awkward.”

She waved one hand at him as she pulled containers out of the fridge.

“Not at all. Don’t worry about it.”

She popped a few lids, scooped out food onto a plate, set it aside and then packed everything into the sacks they’d come in. He stood, watching her, looking at her, undecided.

“Chris. Are you going to drive home wearing my bath towel?”

“Of course not.” He tossed the towel he’d wrapped around his hips onto the back of a kitchen chair and strode into the living room. He dressed quickly. When he turned back to the kitchen, she was leaning against the front door jamb, holding the sacks of food. It all felt wrong. How’d they go from one of the hottest sexual encounters of his life to this uncomfortable goodbye?

He wasn’t sure what was happening between them, but he wasn’t leaving without a proper kiss. He walked up to her, cupped her face and leaned in to kiss her as softly and as sensually as he could muster. She accepted his kiss, and when he stepped back and let her go, her smile was softer, more natural.

“I feel like I’m fucking this up,” he told her. “But I’m retreating for the moment to sort my shit out.”

“I think I suggested we be friends-with-benefits.”

He nodded. “You did.” He paused. “Is that what this felt like to you?”

She looked away, pursing her lips, and he wanted to kiss her again.

“I haven’t been with a man other than my husband for most of my life. I’ve never had an affair. I haven’t dated since I was nineteen. Honestly, I’m no expert in this friends-with-benefits thing, other than what I’ve heard people talk about it.”

“And…”

She looked him in the eye. “We don’t know each other very well. I enjoyed last night and tonight more than I’d expected.”

“Yeah? So, have I not fucked it up yet?” He gestured between them.

Her eyes warmed at him, and she pushed the sacks of food into his hand.

“Let’s slow this down and work on the friendship part more, and then we’ll see.”

Chris took the food from her. He still couldn’t quite make his feet move through the door.

She stepped around him and led him there anyway, opening her door wide and gesturing.

“See you around, Chris.”

Because he didn’t know what else to do, he walked out, descended her low porch and got into his truck.

Jaeger and Zelda loved the brisket.

Beth slept like a log through the night. No insomnia. She attributed it to the amazing orgasms she’d had on her couch—two in one sexual encounter!—and not to the uncomfortable conclusion of the night.

Even though the night hadn’t ended as wonderfully as it had begun, it had been real, authentic. It gave her insight into the complex man Chris was under the surface of his rough, hardened exterior.

On the surface, he presented himself as a no-nonsense, ethical businessman, running a construction business, who limited his emotional relationships to immediate family and his two dogs. He was a man who liked to be seen as masculine and capable.

His stories and references to his dogs and sisters, and even his employees, suggested he was a decent guy, who was capable of deep and lasting affection for the people in his life. But the fact he’d resisted or avoided having an intimate life partner, possibly ever, spoke to hidden issues. Not that everyone had to couple up. It was that most people sought out that kind of emotional partnership, usually before age 50. Whether or not Chris wanted such a relationship, and whether he wanted it with her, both were concerns falling outside of whether she, herself, wanted something more than the friends-with-benefits connection she’d proposed.

All the reasons she’d started something with Chris—a desire to go wild, experience sex with a sexy, virile man, research sex for her writing, and, hopefully, have a few orgasms—had felt deceptively simple. She should have known better. When she’d been young, she hadn’t had a single sexual encounter in which she didn’t expect that intimacy to develop into a full-blown relationship. The last guy she slept with, Kyle, had followed what she considered the natural route: dating, exclusive dating, an engagement and then marriage.

She’d wanted something different with Chris. To see what it was like to hook up casually. She knew her body and how to pleasure herself. Older and financially independent, she didn’t need to get married again, or build up her financial security with someone else, buying a house, acquiring furniture, building a life together. The only thing she desired was companionship and someone to play with in bed. She’d been physically attracted to Chris, a rare event for her.

She hadn’t forgotten she wasn’t attracted to most men, beyond a general recognition that they were or were not good-looking by society’s standards. Guys had come onto her over the years, and she’d always reacted with a strong and distinct certainty she did not want them to touch or kiss her. Part of her response had been her loyalty to Kyle, even in the most difficult times of their marriage.

Several male acquaintances had approached her during the divorce, and she’d felt no loyalty to Kyle at that point. Still, she’d turned them all down flat. Their offers had been repugnant to her. They had been repugnant. She’d thought it was because of their faux concern about consoling her and making her feel desired, since Kyle had cheated on her with a younger woman. One man even told her she was twice as sexy as Kyle’s new partner, even 20 years her senior. Like she wanted to be wooed via a comparison with the woman who’d played a part in ending her marriage.

The morning after, it looked like, if she found a man sexually attractive, she wasn’t able to detach from the emotional aspect of sexual encounters. Her friends had been right. It was because she already liked Chris in part that she was sexually attracted to him. That hard truth interfered with fantasies about having flings and one-night stands and easy friends-with-benefits hook-ups. Turns out, if she considered a man a friend, she didn’t want benefits. And if she wanted benefits, she wanted more than friendship. Damn.

Well, the way Chris had grown quiet after the shower and made for the door as fast as he could, she might not have to worry about getting her heart broken. She suspected he’d been as affected by their time together as she had. But if he didn’t want a relationship, there would be no relationship. Unfortunately, now she knew, despite being older, despite the brevity of their knowing each other, despite being the one to propose a casual friends-with-benefits fling, she wasn’t as wild at heart as she’d envisioned.