Ever since Monty Mickler had stopped by the previous afternoon, Kurt had thought of little other than Sam. Sitting at his desk in the small office next to the butcher shop’s workroom, he stared at Sam’s photo in the yearbook.
Things had always come so easily for Kurt. Part of it was his ability to ignore issues that confused him, and part of it was his nature. Once upon a time he’d been an optimist, a basically happy, live-and-let-live kind of kid, blessed with a close and caring family. His childhood included the usual rough patches, but mostly his memories were good. Only later did he realize that he’d been breezing along, living entirely on the surface of things. Maybe that’s what kids did. He’d had no real need to go deeper. Nobody in his young life had ever died, or even become seriously ill.
Kurt earned reasonable grades without having to study too hard. He wasn’t a social butterfly, but he did have a few good friends. He loved to go fishing with his father and talk books and movies with his mom. He couldn’t remember exactly, but he must have spun a life scenario something like this: He would graduate from high school, get married, have a couple of kids, and work for his dad at the butcher shop. He’d never really wanted to go to college. He loved to read so figured that was the way he’d continue his education. The problem was, as Socrates pointed out, the unexamined life wasn’t worth living. Even more than that, the unexamined life was full of pitfalls and roadblocks, problems he’d never expected because all he ever looked at was what was right in front of him. All that changed on a hot August evening a month before the start of his senior year. He’d been out on a swimming raft with a few guys from the school swim team. That night the sky had fallen in on his predictable, secure little world, and nothing had been the same since.
“Hey, Kurt,” came a familiar voice.
Feeling his mood lift, he got up and walked into the workroom. Ted Hammond stood next to the screen door that led to the alley. “When did you get in?” Kurt asked, walking over to give him a quick hug.
“Last night. Late. I think I woke my mom up.”
“I’m sure she didn’t mind,” said Kurt. “Come back to the office.”
They sat down on metal folding chairs.
“Judy here?” asked Ted.
“Yup.”
“Okay, well, I won’t stay. I thought I’d stop by to see if we could grab a beer later.”
“I’d like that. Earl’s Tap?” It was his favorite dive bar.
“Sure. Six? I’ve got plans with my mom tonight. I’m taking her to a movie. But I do want to talk to you.”
“About something in particular?”
“Let’s not get into it now.” He nodded to the yearbook. “You all ready for the reunion?”
“Yeah, sort of.” Ted had been the senior-class president. He’d also been voted “most likely to succeed.” Not that anyone in high school knew what success meant back then.
“Oh, hey,” said Ted, his expression sobering. “I heard about Sam. How crazy is that? I’m so sorry, man.”
“Thanks.”
“I know you two were close. You been thinking about him?”
“Yeah.” Kurt pulled the yearbook closer. Sam’s handsome face stared back at him. His hair looked ridiculously shaggy. Sam hated getting his hair cut, as if the barber was hell bent on removing some vital piece of him.
“You okay?” asked Ted.
It was a simple enough question, and yet the only way Kurt could answer it was to lie. “Yeah, I’m good.”
“Okay. Well, I better shove off.”
They said their goodbyes at the screened door.
Kurt spent the next few minutes conferring with a customer about a special order. He took down the information, then returned to his office to enter it into the computer. As he came back out, he found his son, Danny, standing in the workroom, removing his sport coat, tie, and dress shirt. Once he was down to his T-shirt, he seemed relieved.
“Did you drive to Fergus to see your mom?” asked Kurt.
“Just got back.” Looking a little worried, he added, “I sent you a text.”
“I left the house this morning without my phone.”
Kurt wanted to hear about it, but first things first. Danny had graduated from high school last spring. He was currently working a part-time job, which caused him to be scrupulous about spending money on anything he could get at home. “Are you hungry?”
“When am I not hungry?”
Kurt smiled. “What do you want?”
“A couple pieces of cornbread, some beans, and potato salad. Don’t pull a rotisserie chicken just for me.”
“I’ve got half a chicken in the cooler. Go get it, and I’ll dish up the rest.”
For the last year, Danny would often drive his old Mazda over to Fergus Falls on Sundays to take his mother to mass. She lived in a group home for people with psychiatric problems. While Kurt was happy to see them forging a relationship, he had certain misgivings about his ex-wife’s influence.
Danny had recently begun to talk more seriously about his future. He was a solid kid—hardworking, decent, good-hearted—and he was searching for his place in the world. His employer, Toller Aviation, one of the better places for a kid to land in Castle Lake, trained him for the specific job they needed, but also wouldn’t give him more than thirty hours a week. Because he wasn’t full time, they didn’t have to provide vacation pay or benefits. It was the way of the economic world these days. Kurt was happy that Danny still lived at home. He was still on Kurt’s insurance, too. It wasn’t particularly good insurance, though it was better than nothing. Danny had pretty much dismissed the idea of college, and to be honest, Kurt was relieved. He didn’t have the money to help him with tuition, and he didn’t want his son saddled with a huge debt just when he was starting out in life.
Pulling up a chair next to his son in the workroom, Kurt had to stifle a laugh as Danny devoured the food; he loved watching the kid eat because he always did it with such gusto. “How’s your mom doing?” asked Kurt. He hadn’t seen her in years. He and Vicki had divorced quietly when Danny was nine.
“Not as good as last time,” said Danny. “I took her out for a walk after mass. When we got back, we sat around the common room for a while. She kept stealing glances at the TV and kind of zoning out. At one point, she pointed to the guy who was being interviewed on some news program and said, ‘Did you hear him? Did you hear what he said to me?’”
Vicki had been diagnosed with schizophrenia when Danny was three. Even before that, Kurt could tell something wasn’t right. After the diagnosis, she’d gone on to spend her life in and out of mental health facilities, but had never returned to her home with Kurt and Danny. The group facility in Fergus Falls, which she’d moved into four years ago, was a big step for her. Danny had always had a lot of questions about his mother. The fact that she finally wanted to see him was huge.
“She still after you to join the Catholic church?” asked Kurt.
“Oh, yeah. She talks about it all the time.”
Vicki hadn’t been like that when Kurt had known her. In fact, she’d never said anything about her religious views.
“She gave me a bunch of stuff to read.”
“Did she. Are you going to?”
“Maybe. I mean, I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but religion isn’t really my thing, you know?”
Kurt wasn’t surprised.
“Say,” said Danny, dropping a chicken bone on his plate. “I heard about that guy, Sam—the one who went missing your senior year. I was totally stunned to learn he’d been buried in Holy Trinity cemetery all this time. That is so wrong. Who would do something like that?”
Kurt shook his head.
“I mean, you were friends, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So you have any idea what happened to him?”
The question caused the ground beneath Kurt to tilt sideways and then disappear. He was standing at the edge of a dark chasm while his son finished his potato salad.
“I’ve heard gossip around town that his father did it. Do you know his dad?”
“Not really,” said Kurt, hearing the bell over the front door ring.
“Really sad shit.” Danny pushed his plate away.
Emma appeared in the workroom doorway.
“Oh hi, Mrs. Anguelo,” said Danny, wiping his mouth on a napkin.
“Remember, you were going to call me Emma,” she said, smiling.
He nodded, returning her smile. “Hey, um, I should probably get going. I promised I’d meet up with Tanya when I got back. She’s home for the weekend.”
Tanya was Danny’s girlfriend, someone Kurt liked a lot. She’d moved to the Cities in July to live with her aunt. He could tell the long-distance romance was proving more difficult than they’d expected.
“So catch you both later.” Danny grabbed his coat, shirt, and tie and, with a wave, took off out the back door.
“He is one really cute kid,” said Emma after he’d gone.
“Yeah,” said Kurt, tossing Danny’s plate in the trash. “I’m pretty proud of him.”
“He looks a lot like you did when you were his age. Broad shoulders. Same height.”
“He’s actually two inches taller.”
“Really.” She took a few steps into the room. “You got a minute?”
“Sure.”
Lowering her voice, she said, “I assume you’ve heard about Sam.”
“Monty Mickler came by with the news.”
“Isn’t it awful?”
He put his arms around her. He knew so much that she didn’t, things he hoped she would never find out.
“Anyway,” she said, wiping a tear off her cheek, “we need to write something, so he’s included in the class memorial. I’ve got some old photos we can put up on the photo wall. We don’t have to talk about it now, but we should get going on it. I thought we could each write a few notes, and then we could combine them.”
“Sounds good.”
“Listen,” she said, looking up into his eyes. “I know this comes out of the blue, but I’m giving a cocktail party at the house tonight to introduce my houseguests to some of the people on the town council and the art board. A friend will cater it, so there will be lots of food. I thought you might want to join us.”
“Me?”
“You’re a business owner. You never know who you might meet or what opportunities might arise.”
Emma was a lot more ambitious than he was. He doubted a bigger, better, slicker butcher shop was in his future. “I don’t know.”
“Think about it. These people, they’re mostly old and boring. It would be nice to have someone there I could talk to. We could sneak out for a while. Go sit by the lake. It’s supposed to be a beautiful night.”
“It’s sounding better. Am I your only personal guest?”
She hesitated. “There is someone I’d like to invite, but I can’t.”
“Because?”
“Multiple reasons, none of which I want to get into.”
He’d already concluded that she’d been seeing someone while she’d been in town. Since he wasn’t interested in her romantically, it meant that he was entirely free to be her friend. “Come on, Emma. Do I know the guy?”
She smiled. “Probably. No more questions. So what do you say?”
“Do I have to get dressed up?”
“You have a tux, right?” His surprised look caused her to laugh. “I’m kidding, silly. It’s completely casual, although I wouldn’t wear jeans. You do own something other than jeans?”
“Cargo shorts and black socks?”
“Perfect, as long as the socks match.”
He accompanied her to the front door. “What time is this shindig?”
“Starts at seven.” Turning to him, she said, “Oh, please come.”
“You’re good at twisting arms.”
“I’ll take that as a yes.” She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. “You’re saving my sanity.”