What You Didn’t Know
That You Didn’t Know
The first step in learning to master the “Venus Butterfly” technique is to introduce you to some information which is neither understood or known by very many people. It will answer a lot of questions that have puzzled the human race for thousands of years.
For instance, if you are a man, have you ever performed in a certain way in bed with your partner so that she was totally gratified? Then, maybe just a week later, you performed exactly the same way and the love making session was a dud for her.
What happened? You are pretty sure you did the same things, but you wound up with an entirely different result. The following information will clear up this and many other mysteries for you.
The first new thing I learned at More University and The Institute of Human Abilities is that only women have what can be accurately described as heat cycles. “So what?,” I thought to myself, not realizing at that time that female sexual cycles are a source of enormous power. It is a power that needs to be understood and mastered in order to have relationships and sexual experiences beyond your present reality.
O.K., O.K.. My wife and all other women have monthly cycles (I knew that!) and even yearly cycles (I didn’t know that).
One of the main reasons I married my wife, Leah, was that she was so nice. Leah was the first person who read the initial manuscript for my first book which we would eventually title, Diets Don’t Work. By applying the principles in the book and learning to eat like a “naturally thin person” again, her weight declined and she got to her ideal weight…without dieting or depriving herself of anything that she wanted to eat.
This was when I fell in love with her. Anyone who listens to you, approves of everything you do, and is so very nice, is not a person you want to let get away. So, I asked her to marry me.
After that, especially around the time of her periods, I began to notice that Leah got slightly meaner and meaner as each month passed. The longer we were married, the meaner she seemed to get.
No matter what I came up with to soothe her, I always felt something was missing. I tried to reason with her. Sometimes I would hide from her. Other times I would try to do something to make her laugh or I would buy her presents. I tried to find a medicine that would “cure” her. When all else failed, we had big fights. Nothing seemed to work.
I began to keep track of when the “Alien” would arrive each month. This technique seemed to help a little, but not quite enough. Everything negative was exaggerated during this time and if I was ready for the attack…. if I could convince her that it was her hormones this time and not me…,if…,if only she were more like a man.
Now I am glad that I did not get my stupid wish. What I was viewing as negative energy was actually the power source that keeps the human race on the planet. I did not know it at the time, but it was also the chief energy source of our exceptional love life.
At More University and The Institute for Human Behavior, this type of energy is called “Tumescence” (Tu-mess-ence). One of the definitions in the dictionary explains tumescence as “being swollen (as with sexual energy). (Sexual) Tension that is not being released or used.”
For our purpose, this definition has been expanded to create some new distinctions that will help you to produce more pleasure and intensity in your love life. We will use this new word to describe a condition and a certain behavior that mammals, including humans, especially females, occasionally exhibit.
Our expanded definition of tumescence includes, among other things, the experience of being sexually aroused, or turned on. This can mean either an agitated state of mind or a very pleasant feeling of being sexually aroused. Tumesced* (pronounced tu-messed) can also mean a particular type of tension, similar to a rubber band that is being twisted tighter and tighter.
Tumescent energy can feel like a warm glow, one time and a raging fire the next.
Tumescence has many forms. Tumescent (tu-mess-ent) energy is most commonly identified in the form of bitchiness or tension, as if the person were agitated by something or someone and all negative feelings are being magnified.
At other times, however, when the tumescent energy is at a lower level and under control, the person feels pleasantly aroused and positive feelings are intensified.
First, it is important to understand that women have heat cycles twice a month and also seasonal heat cycles that show up twice a year.
The monthly cycles come around the time of ovulation and menstruation, and the seasonal heat cycles come in the spring and the fall.
Somewhere around three days before a woman’s ovulation time, her tumescent energy or heat level starts to build up. After ovulation the level goes back down. Then about five days before her period, this tumescent energy or heat level begins its highest climb. Usually she grows more and more tumescent as she gets closer to the time of her period.
During her period, the tumescence begins to subside until around the time of her next ovulation cycle when it starts to increase again. Another tidal wave of energy begins to again build up power.
Historically, women have been misunderstood and mistreated when it comes to their tumescence or heat cycles. There are times they probably would like to deny they even have them.
Nearly all of us know that women are usually the most tumesced close to the time of their periods. Less than tasteful stories have been made up about this time, such as the one which says that if the shadow of a woman on her period falls on a snake, the snake will die.
No wonder women feel discriminated against and don’t want to acknowledge their tumescent cycles. For years some medical doctors refused to believe that there was any such thing as PMS. Other physicians called it an illness, gave drugs to try to “cure” it, and even operated to get rid of the symptoms. Most of the treatments were designed to try to flatten the woman’s highs and lows, to make her more “stable.” In other words, to try to make her more like a man.
It is lucky that these physicians failed in their attempts because to try to make women more like men would be a great waste of potential fun and sexual energy. Instead of trying to eliminate the dynamic energy that women have, wouldn’t it be a good idea to learn how to use it to increase the pleasure, productivity, and joy in our lives and relationships? That is one of the purposes of this book.
What are the signs of tumescence? Of course, crankiness or meanness are the major signs, but there are many other signals that are useful if you become familiar with them.
Tumescence is easiest to recognize in the form of anger, agitation, irritability, or being lustful, passionate, or highly sensitive. A tumesced person can also exhibit signs of clumsiness, lack of concentration, and disorientation.
The higher the level of tumescence and the longer it is sustained, the more radical the behavior usually becomes.
Tumescence can exhibit a multitude of different characteristics and intensify either positive or negative feelings depending upon the circumstances and the amount of tumescent energy that is present.
With The One Hour Orgasm, we have created a scale from “1” to “5” to relate to tumescence. You can use these new distinctions to begin to recognize and deal with tumescent energy.
Level “1” is “flat.” There is no sexual interest. All tumescent energy has been discharged. She feels mellow and totally relaxed.
Level “2” is when she is “a little turned on”…things are starting to get interesting. She is looking forward with slight anticipation.
Level “3” is when tumescent energy feels under control or if there are good and immediate prospects for releasing it. She is feeling a glow, turned-on, pleasantly excited. Tumescence at this level can feel extremely enjoyable. She feels pleasantly vulnerable, and, maybe even, emotionally mushy.
Level “4” is when she could start to get anxious, highly emotional, hot and bothered, on edge, irritable, or cranky. At this level tumescent energy begins to magnify feelings, no matter if they are positive or negative. For example, the hottest sex is available at this level and, on the other hand, a couple may have their biggest fights at level four or above.
Level “5” is when tumescence has built up too high. She feels out of control, desperate, frantic, hostile, hypercritical, or bad tempered. She may scream or snarl a lot at this level. She does not look or feel attractive, and will predictably behave somewhat irrationally and aggressively. High levels of tumescence, with no hope of relief in sight, can make a woman feel very uncomfortable with feelings of overwhelming pressure and even painful cramps.
The person feeling high tumescence can many times seem to be illogical, righteous, and unreasonable. She might thrash around feeling very uncomfortable and try desperately not to feel the feelings she is having.
She will usually try to figure out what is causing these unpleasant feelings. If her man is anywhere in the vicinity, he often seems like the cause of her suffering.
Most men have no idea how to even bring up the subject of tumescence, much less know how to handle it. Not knowing what to do when tumescent energy showed up was only one of the ways I came to find that, like other men, I was dumb when it came to women.
If your partner is at a level “1” and is feeling no sexual desire at all, it might be a good idea for you to start by learning how to raise her level of tumescence.
If your partner is at a level “5” and very agitated, it would serve you both well if you learned how to effectively bring her tumescence down as much as possible so that she will feel less pressure, stress, and tension.
Women who work or live together for a while usually begin to have their cycles at the same time. If this tumescent energy builds up too high and is not acknowledged and discharged in a pleasurable or consciously directed way, it begins to cause problems for the person who is feeling it and almost everyone else around her.
Yes, of course. Tumescence has the amazing characteristic of being the kind of energy which you can pick up from someone else.
Can a woman intentionally or unintentionally tumesce a man? Of course.
Have you ever noticed that men can become awkward or clumsy around a woman, especially if they find her attractive? And, if a man is around a highly agitated woman, does he become agitated? Yes. Yes. Yes.
Though men get tumesced, they don’t appear to be affected by tumescence to the degree that a woman does.
If you are a man, just imagine being extremely agitated. What if you had been that way for three days, non-stop, with no relief, and none in sight? What might your outlook on life be, and is it possible that you might be caught looking around for someone to blame or take it out on?
What we have just described is a condition many women report experiencing frequently. What if a man felt restless, edgy, ugly, bloated, unloved, misunderstood, ignored, and agitated a couple of times a month? Is it possible he might become a little unreasonable sometimes? Would he possibly allow himself to feel better by being pampered a little? Do you think it might be illogical if he went shopping and even bought something because it made him feel better?
We know this concept of tumescence is strange at first, but we want you to go along with the notion for a few days and begin to look at your life using this idea.
Unless you first learn to recognize and deal with this particular type of energy, consistent, maximum, sexual pleasure and one hour orgasms are not easily attained. The good news is that, if you know how, you can increase or decrease this tumescent energy in yourself or others at will.
See if you can begin to notice how tumescence affects you and those around you.
Can you think of just one very recent incident in your life that may have been influenced by tumescence? It may have been a big or little fight. It could also have been a very pleasurable encounter. Use the space below to write down any specific details that you recall. Start with who you assume was generating the tumescent energy and then write out what happened.
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If you have ever been around an older male dog, you will see an example of a male mammal picking up tumescent signals from a female. The dog lays around, sleeps a lot, and looks very bored. A female dog in heat comes into the picture and suddenly you have an alert, excited, turned on, and happy puppy on your hands.
Men, and all male mammals, respond to being around and paying attention to a female who is turned on.
Whether they realize it or not, men are able to pick up and respond to a woman’s heat cycle signals.
If a man is even thinking about sex, it is usually because he has received a transmitted feeling, intentional or not, that started in a woman.
It doesn’t make any difference whether the woman is young “ or old, whether she has had a hysterectomy or not, nor does it make any difference if she is fat or thin.
She may not even be interested in doing anything with his turned on state of mind and body. She may enjoy testing out her ability to attract a man every once in a while just to make sure that her “equipment” is still working.
A story about another mammal, the male Panda bear, demonstrates one more example of the reach, power, and existence of tumescent energy. The male Panda spends much of his time up in some bamboo tree, calmly munching on bamboo leaves.
Once every one to seven years or even longer, the female Panda gets turned on and is interested in sex. According to the story, she can be as far as twenty miles away, and yet the male Panda somehow senses her change of condition and runs through the forest until he finds her. They mate and then the male Panda returns to his bamboo tree to once again munch leaves and wait.
Of course, men are not bears or dogs, but, we are mammals. If you begin to pay attention to the evidence of female tumescence around you, it will become clearer that women are the source of male sexual excitement and turn on.
This idea of who turns on who is contrary to what most of us have been brought up to believe. It goes against the popular assumption that men cause their own erections and are the sexual aggressors and women put up with men’s sexual appetites.
The notion that men cause their own erections is one of the major reasons thirty million American men suffer from the fear of the occasional or frequent inability to have or maintain an erection.
The bottom line is this. A man generally cannot become aroused unless he has been around a woman who was aroused first. Of course, he can try to pretend or fantasize that some woman is turned on that he is thinking about and that she wants him to have sex with her. Another way he may be able to artificially manufacture an erection is to be touched or by touching himself in a pleasurable way.
Try this fifteen second experiment with yourself (if you are a guy) or ask your man to try this (if you are a woman.)
Without using fantasy, have him snap his fingers and have an erection appear by just using his will power to make it happen. O.K.?
Make sure the guy involved doesn’t hold anything back. Have him give it every thing he’s got and both of you put your entire attention on his progress.
Write down below, in detail, what happened.
“__________”
O.K.. Nothing happened, did it? In fact, the harder he tried and the more he put his attention on himself, the softer it got.
If you accept the concept that women are the source of sexual arousal or turn on, you will find many benefits that come along with this idea.
One, is that if you are a man, you never have to worry about having an erection or maintaining one again. Whenever the woman in your life is turned on and really wants you, if you have enough attention on her, the little barometer between your legs will respond in a way that you cannot mistake.
Another benefit is that if you are a woman, this concept puts you in the driver’s seat.
Couples who have worked with the idea that women are in charge have been pleased with the positive results in their sex life and relationship.
We will talk about Tumescence from this point on as a form of energy that is generated and transmitted by women. All that we ask is that you just keep an open mind and keep your eyes open.
*From this point on, we will use this spelling and pronunciation for ease of reference. A more accurate spelling might be “tumefied” or “tumid,” but those spellings sound too much like something you would do to an Egyptian mummy and have proven awkward when we have tried to use them.