Questions & Answers
Q. Who should be taken on the date first? The man or the woman?
A. Usually the woman should be taken on the “Venus Butterfly” date first unless the woman reads this book first and fears that her mate may resist if she tries to get him to read it. In that case she might just tell him that she is going to treat him to a very special “Date.” After it is over, he will more than likely want more. That is the time to introduce her conditions for the second “date”— have him read the book or even watch the video/DVD, For His Eyes Only. Make it as easy as possible for both of you to win.
Remember, men have very large and very, very fragile egos. It is important to let them know that there is nothing lacking or wrong with their sex technique. Your sex life is great. The One Hour Orgasm is only about having more fun and more pleasure.
Q. What if we don’t have an hour or the energy for a one hour session?
A. Good question, and here is a great answer. It is called: The Three-minute Pleasure Break
What if one or both of you are not really in mood or you only have a few minutes? If the most you can nudge your partner into is a couple of minutes, a few minutes will be perfect.
Sometimes time is a problem and other times neither of you are in the mood to consider any long pleasuring session or the pressure of producing a result for yourself or your partner.
Some couples lose their desire to make love from waiting too long. Waiting to pleasure yourself or your partner is like not eating for a long, long period of time. Eventually the strong cravings for food subside, but it is only temporarily. After a small amount of food, your appetite returns.
Here is what you should do:
1. Ask your partner to just give you three minutes. When they agree, look at the clock and begin.
2. Do whatever you can do to make your quick session as pleasant as possible, given your surroundings and short amount of time. Try not to go anywhere without at least a small tube of your Vaseline.
3. Do just the “Venus Butterfly” to your partner for exactly three minutes. At the end of the three minutes, stop and tell your partner that the three minutes that they agreed to are up. Ask if they want you to continue.
With my wife, Leah, I was amazed at how much extra available time and energy showed up on her part at the end of just three minutes.
Even if you need to stop at the end of three minutes, it was three more than you would have had if you had not started.
Also, you are peaking each other, building up the steam toward longer sessions.
Q. What if I ask my partner to do the “Venus Butterfly” to me and they say no?
A. Don’t take it personally or let it throw you. The basic truth to why anyone says “no” to any offer is because they see a loss of something if they say “yes.”
It is not the benefits they are saying no to, it is some part of the offer that they don’t like or see as a disadvantage. If you make an offer to someone and the person rejects your offer, it is not you, but your offer that is being rejected. If you want someone to say yes, make them a better offer, but, first find out or try to guess what part of the offer the person is afraid of or doesn’t like.
Ask which particular part of the offer they are saying no to. Another possibility is that the entire offer may not have been good enough. What if you offered to take someone out for dinner at McDonald’s and they say no?
What would happen if you upped your offer? Would they now say yes? How about going with you tonight to their favorite restaurant?
Sweeten the offer you are making until they say yes.
Q. What if my partner is so tumesced that they won’t let me get close enough to touch them in any way?
A. You may have waited too long. By the time either one of you is “tumesced” to the end of your rope, it is very difficult to bring up the idea of pleasure. If you let tumescence build up too high, you usually cannot do anything about it. It is like a fire that has gotten out of control. Sometimes you just have to back off and wait until it burns itself out.
The answer next time is to pay more attention to when tumescence starts to build up, begin to do something about it as soon as possible, and be pleasantly persistent.
The best answer we can give to men is to:
• be very compassionate;
• take all the blame and responsibility for having waited too long;
• ask her what she wants you to do to make up for what she is upset about and if it is at all reasonable, do what she wants as enthusiastically as you can;
• and continue to put all your attention on her, at least until the crisis is over.
Even if she wants you out of the room or the house, leave and keep thinking about her and what she would like next. From time to time come back to check on how she is feeling and ask if you can do this or that for her.
Keep showering her with your total attention. Giving someone your full attention is the most sure fire method for “detumescing” anyone. It doesn’t matter that they know what you are doing. It still works.
Q. Why can’t I just do the “Venus Butterfly” to myself rather than having to worry about a relationship?
A. Of course you can, but you cannot cause yourself either pleasure or pain to the degree that someone else can who is doing the same thing to you.
Can you imagine twisting your own arm hard enough to make yourself reveal government secrets?
Likewise, you cannot possibly give yourself the degree of pleasure that someone else can, especially when both of your attentions are on just one of you.
It is like scratching an itch on your back. You can scratch yourself, but it feels so much better if someone you love scratches the itch for you.
Q. What happens if somewhere along the line of growing and getting more pleasure, we run into some problem that we aren’t able to figure out? What do we do then?
A. Reach outside of yourselves for competent help or advice. A third party who is objective and has been where you are can offer some great solutions to what may seem like hopeless problems.
Couples should watch this video together when they are not feeling “connected.”
Q. How do I find out more about Diet’s Don’t Work™?
A. Contact Diets Don’t Work, Inc. by visiting www.dietsdontwork.net or call 866-NEVERDIET (866-638-3734).
Q. If I am not careful, will I ever ruin her climax by “peaking” my partner too long?
A. Probably, but it is not important. The goal is pleasure and to have fun together. A climax, although desirable, is great if it shows up, but it is not the end of the world if you miss a couple of times.
If she doesn’t go over the top before your love-making session ends, you have actually peaked her one more time. The next time you do the “Venus Butterfly” to her, she will really have a head of steam built up.
Q. In our marriage, it is me that always wants sex and my husband is the one always saying no. What do I do?
A. Why do men say no to sex? Generally speaking, guys want sex, so when he says no to the woman he loves, something’s wrong.
Of course, men say no to their partners for many of the same reasons she turns him down.
•Being tired
•Anger
•Not being in the mood
•Stress
Plus, we discovered that men had two additional reasons. The biggest reason we could find that a man said no to sex was because he didn’t think, at the time, that he would be able to perform properly.
Of course, most men aren’t about to readily admit something like this. They would usually make excuses like, “I have a headache,” or “My back hurts.”
Another reason that men confided that they turned down her advances was sports. Given the choice between sex and something that involves a ball, the ball thing seems to win most of the time.
If you are a woman, you will never again have to worry about the first five reasons listed above once you master the “Venus Butterfly” technique. You will be able to turn him on without any effort or energy on his part whatsoever and when you are able to do that, he will almost always accept your romantic offers.
Regarding the sixth reason, sports, we did come up with one idea in this area that really worked.
Q. What can I do when I want to be romantic, but my husband wants to watch sports?
A. We found a way that you can turn this “ball” problem into a lot of fun for both of you. Here’s what we came up with:
•Make a wager that involves the “Venus Butterfly” that you both willingly agree to. If he wins, you will do what he proposes enthusiastically. If you win, vice versa.
•Have him make the two teams that are playing more evenly matched for betting purposes by giving points to one or the other. Then, you pick whichever team you want and he takes the other.
•The minute the game is over, the loser eagerly pays off the bet. No waiting. There needs to be instant gratification here, with no chance for welshing.
Just think. He will be thrilled that you are as intensely interested in the contest and the outcome as he is. You will be sharing one of his passions with him and as the game nears the end, the excitement and anticipation will build in both of you. There are no real losers. You both will have fun together, both during the game and at the pay off.
Q. Where do I go if I want to find out more info about how to win with my partner?
A. For more information please visit the following Web sites:
Another possibility is to help yourself in the privacy of your own home by using our series of adult, sex education video tapes as described below:
This video is one of the best, most decent, tasteful, explicit, and effective adult romance and sex education videos ever produced for men. For the first time on video, several very different and attractive couples demonstrate “doing” the “Venus Butterfly” technique to a woman. This video brings The One Hour Orgasm to life for male viewers. It is filled with first-hand information that will improve any man’s sexual effectiveness and his partner’s sex life immediately.
• Improve your self confidence as a lover
• Increase the intensity and duration of her orgasms and cause her to have hundreds of orgasmic contractions
• Put the spark back, or prevent it from going away
• Bring back her sex drive
• Make every lovemaking session a pleasurable learning experience
• How even one inch of penetration can feel like twelve to her
• Solve the problem of not being in the mood at the same time
This video is one of the best sex education videos ever produced for women. For the first time on video, several very different and attractive couples demonstrate “doing” the “Venus Butterfly” technique to a man. This video brings The One Hour Orgasm to life for female viewers. It is filled with firsthand information that will improve any woman’s sexual abilities.
• Improve your self-confidence as a lover
• Increase the intensity and duration of his orgasms
• Add 1 to 3 inches to his normal size Put the spark back, or prevent it from going away
• Bring back his sex drive Make every lovemaking session a pleasurable learning experience
• Learn “simulated” oral sex
• Solve the problem of not being in the mood at the same time
• Train his sexual nervous system to last longer
Six romantic seductions to spice up any special occasion, including Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, birthday, rainy weekends, or any time you just want to have some “special” fun! Featuring well-known models, including Griffen Drew from Playboy, and Penthouse magazine’s Taylor St. Clair.
• Discover the “Velvet Touch” technique
• Learn how to inspire your Valentine to fulfill your wildest dreams!
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• Discover your Valentine’s hidden wild side
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• A must-have video!
Twenty years of incredible research by the nation’s leading sex educators, Dr. Bob Schwartz and Dr. Leah Schwartz.
• Step-by-step to reaching sexual heights few even know exist!
• Is she really turned on?
• A “Touch of Ecstacy” that will leave her breathless!
• Footage never seen before of an incredible sexual phenomenon
• How even one inch of penetration can feel like twelve
• Learn to feel intensity you’ve never felt before
• Discover the common mistake most couple make
• The”Bread and Butter” stroke every one is talking about
All four videos, in VHS or DVD formats, can be ordered by calling 1 (800) 227-1152 or directly from our Web sites, www.theonehourorgasm.com or www.venusbutterfly.com. If you wish to order more copies of The One Hour Orgasm™, discount pricing is available on quantity orders.
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Workshops based on Dr. Baranco’s teachings are held on weekends in the San Francisco area and frequently in major cities all across the country. If you would like a current schedule of courses or more information to help you have more pleasure in your life and your relationship, visit www.lafayettemorehouse.com or www.theonehourorgasm.com.
This is a book that you will want to read over and over. Each time you read it you can increase the amount of fun and pleasure in your life.