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“Lilian are you ready to leave?” Matthew asked politely.
“Yeah, I will go get in the car,” so I did as I said got in his nice expensive car. I put my bags in the back and sat down in the passenger seat. I sat there for a while and started to get very bored, why do adults always talk so long? I opened the glove box and found gum, I got a piece, and started chewing.
Matthew made it out to the car not too long after and started driving to his house. “I have something for you,” he told me.
“What is it?” I demanded, almost like a dog demanding for a bone. I was eager.
“It is something your mother wrote to you and put in a box before she died, it is addressed to you and only you so you can’t tell anyone about it. Or you can I don’t think that it will matter much since she is dead.” He said that with so much ease, like maybe he killed her. Nah, why do I always assume stuff?
“Oh,” I said and at that moment the depression kicked in. I was reminded of all that had happened.
Soon we arrived at Matthew’s two-bedroom house and gave me the guest bedroom.
When I unpacked my stuff, and put my bed sheets on my bed, Matthew gave me the envelope with my name on it.
I thought it would be more of a little envelope with my name on it, but it was not it was one of those big yellow envelopes. I opened it and dropped it on the ground. A lot of notes and pieces of paper fell out. I saw a picture of me when I was a baby. I almost cried again. Babies are so cute.
Then, I went and locked my door so that I could have privacy. I read the first letter,
Dear Lilian and only Lilian,
Yeah, by now you know who your father is and probably think either he killed me, or you are the reason I killed myself. Guess what you are not the reason I killed myself, you were my only true friend. I felt like no one liked me because you were my only friend. I wrote a letter for each and every one of the people that hurt me. Yeah so, I was just doing a favor to them when I died.
Then I read the next letter,
#1
Mom, Lilian’s grandma, Nona, Bill’s lover, Jackie’s mom. You loved me, right? Omg mom you are so dumb you always treated me like second best. Jackie got an A on her quiz, ‘oh yeah, you should be immensely proud I’m going to tell everyone I know because I am so incredibly happy for you’ but when I get an A it is different, it is just a ‘good job, Sabrina.’ WOW! Yeah, why do you think I am second best are you ashamed of me? Well yeah too bad, you said you loved me, and I believed you, but you never treated me like you loved me there was no love in your voice and no love in your actions toward me.
Then I read them all one by one, but I made sure they were all in order, these were interesting! The juicy drama they make television series about.
#2
Dad, Dad, sweet old dad. I loved you just like I loved mother, but you always loved Jackie more. Those drugs I did, that was because I was alone in a big, excessively big world. The only thing I could rely on was the drugs. As soon as I started you never asked me if I wanted to talk, you just said a counselor would be the best. What if I wanted attention but no one looked at me?
#3
Sister, Jackie, beloved honey boo. You are a big fat LIAR! (sorry Lilian for my language) You told everyone that I was the one treating you like a piece of nothingness. You had got the story wrong! You were the one treating me like I was second best, and that you were better. You were the princess I was the slave or maid type thing. Wow! Wow! Wow! Geez, you did not even take the time to know me, and when we were younger, I thought we were friends until I noticed things about you.
#4
So, when Jackie was a senior, a new family came to town their name was, the last name was, Clay. Summer was pregnant with Hayden when I was pregnant with Lilian. I really thought you wanted to go shopping for baby clothing, but no you just wanted to go to find out my secrets. Who the father was, and I was not going to ever let that out? Summer, you are not smart you are a dumb idiot like everyone else. Next, we will talk about.........
#5
Summer’s twin, not autumn no not fall, is her name spring? Oh, right it’s Winter. I thought you were my only friend, until ha, do you really want me to say what you did to me and ruined my life with? Oh, right it has been such a long time ago I bet you cannot remember, Katelyn. She was mean to me and when she invited you into her group you left me told her all of my secrets and, and, and, and, and told uma, uma, uma, people that ummm I took medicine for my stuttering problem. Wow how much she would have said to make you hate me or wait maybe you, like everyone else, and pretended to love me.
#6
Matthew, I do not know how to start this. Wow, you are probably the only person I should not blame but I know you and I love you to death. Maybe that is why I am dead. Sure, I don’t deserve you because I ‘used’ you and ‘cheated on you’ well yeah all that is true, but I knew you would always take me back and I loved you, but you don’t deserve such a bum like Sabrina! And I also know that you should have stopped me when I killed or am going to kill myself. But guess who is dead and guess who never stopped me, Love you baby. You’re next.
#7
Eric, now you happened a while back but what you did was not right. You picked and picked on me because of my looks and my pink streaks in my hair you just were a bully along with your sister. Her name was Jenny, do I recall. The biggest bullies anyone will ever meet. Ugly people, your attitudes about life.
#8
Nolan Sweetie, how are you today? You were the old guy that I met at the party and then I told you my plan.... I thought you would be the type of dude I could tell, and you would get me some help but instead, you just told me that after I died you would watch over Lilian. I was glad you were like that but still angry that you did not help me at all. You supported me in my choice. I HATE you so very much.
#9
Katelyn, you were the meanest girl I have ever met actually I take that back Jenny is the meanest. You are the second meanest and the second is the best, why did you make fun of me for my stuttering? There were so many things I could be making fun of you for. An example would be.... Too many to choose from but you know what I am talking about. Woah, you are so very mean.
#10
Jenny this one is for you I loved you in fourth grade as a friend, but you never took me seriously but then your brother was so mean to me and as I got older, I noticed you were just like him, it was like some sister like brother thing probably a family thing. You and your brother have ugly souls.
#11
Matthew’s ex, that was deathly in love with him, Uriah. You were so sweet and stupid and would fight for him, but I would fight more, and I won. You always deserved him more than me, but I was now, and you were the past. Gosh, I knew I should tolerate you, but I hated you and it really was not your fault, but you were a preppy cheerleader and I strongly disliked you. So, I got rid of the threat and took your man.
#12
Drew old Drew. You are perfect except for one flaw; you are related to the biggest liars anyone will ever meet. You were not anything like them, but I saw some of those family things. Like mother like daughter, like father like son, like sister like brother. Family genes. You started changing your mindset about me right when Winter stopped hanging out with me and Jackie and Summer started spending more and more time together.
#13
Mrs. Delores, I didn’t like you. Science sucks and I had to include you in this. You and my mother wouldn’t shut up about me.
#14
My dear old principal Mr. Hardy you knew me my whole life. Why could you not see that I was suffering? My own parents did not like me for who I was, and no one saw me for who I was in that suffering state. Wow, people wow.
#15
Dear everyone in the world but dear old Lilian, I do not know why you wanted to treat me like I did not mean anything to you. Wow to all of you just be nice to everyone goodbye, I would say I love you, but I do not love you. I hate you, farewell world.
I finished reading and I was crying and could barely breathe. I thought about how my whole life had been a lie and then had one idea. One sly idea that would make everyone happy including me.