Lucy’s review began at eleven o’clock the following Tuesday. Stevie, Jill, Peter (the reviewing officer) and myself were seated in my living room with coffee and biscuits. The children were amusing themselves upstairs, and I’d said that Lucy didn’t want to attend her review. Lucy’s mother would have been invited to the review, but she’d disappeared again, without leaving a forwarding address. Lucy’s teacher, Miss Connor, had been invited, but because it was the school holidays she was away, so she had sent in her report, which the reviewing officer had just finished reading out. The gist of her report was that Lucy was making steady progress, but still found it difficult to make friends, which I knew from the consultation evening. Miss Connor had included some test results and finished by stating that she was grateful for the help I’d given Lucy at home and that Lucy wouldn’t have made the progress she had without it, which was kind of her. Having finished Miss Connor’s report, the reviewing officer, Peter, now turned to me: ‘Cathy, would you like to tell us how Lucy is doing, please?’
I glanced at my notes, ready to begin, but as I did all eyes went from me to the living-room door, which was now slowly opening. I thought it must be one of the children having come down from upstairs for something, perhaps even Lucy feeling brave enough to attend her review. However, once the gap was wide enough, Toscha sauntered in with a loud meow. Stevie shrieked, and I was immediately on my feet going after Toscha who, frightened by the noise, had fled into the kitchen. I let her out the back door and returned to the living room.
‘Sorry,’ I said to Stevie, as I sat down. ‘I’m sure I put her out earlier.’
Jill, who knew as well as I did how Toscha had got in, threw me a knowing look and we both stifled a smile. Fortunately, Toscha hadn’t been in the room long enough to trigger a sneezing fit in Stevie, and Peter was looking rather bemused by her hysterical reaction. Once Stevie had finished explaining why she hated cats so much and how she was allergic to them, Peter looked to me to give my report. He made notes as I spoke and I began by saying how well Lucy had settled into my family and that she had a very good relationship with my children, my parents and me. I said I was pleased with her progress at school and that she wanted to do a bit extra at home. I described her routine and what she liked to do in her spare time. I said that while I was encouraging Lucy to bring friends home she hadn’t done so yet, and I mentioned Lucy’s comment to Miss Connor about it not being worth her making friends as she would be leaving the school in under a year.
‘That’s a great pity,’ Peter said, as he wrote.
‘She could still make friends,’ Stevie said. ‘And keep in touch with them after she’s left.’
I nodded, and continued with my report, saying that Lucy was much better at managing her anger now, and that her eating had improved, although I still had concerns as her eating fluctuated and she wasn’t eating as much as she should for a child her age. I then said that Lucy had seen her mother the week before and that I didn’t think it had been a great success.
‘Perhaps we could leave contact for now and discuss that when Stevie gives her report?’ Peter said.
‘Yes, of course,’ I said. I finished my report by saying that Lucy was looking forward to our holiday and her birthday and that she was a delight to look after.
‘Thank you,’ Peter said. Then turning to Jill: ‘As Cathy’s support social worker, do you have anything to add?’
‘Not really,’ Jill said. ‘Because of all the upheaval and Lucy’s early life experiences, she struggled to begin with, but she’s settled down now. I’m sure Lucy will benefit from therapy when she goes to permanency, which should address her issues with eating as well.’
‘Are there plans for Lucy to have another medical?’ Peter now asked Stevie. ‘I remember the previous carer raised the same concerns as Cathy and took Lucy to her doctor.’ Peter had been the reviewing officer at previous reviews so was aware of Lucy’s history.
‘Lucy will have another medical before she goes to permanency,’ Stevie said. ‘If necessary, we can bring that forward, but I don’t think it’s necessary yet.’ She looked to Jill and me for confirmation and we nodded. Peter made a note.
Jill didn’t have anything further to say, so Peter asked Stevie for her report. She began by outlining the care plan: that the social services would apply for a Full Care Order and then Lucy would go to a suitable relative or a long-term foster placement.
Peter asked, ‘So how is the search going for a suitable relative? You were looking into that at the last review.’
‘I haven’t been able to trace Lucy’s father,’ Stevie said.
‘And he’s hardly a suitable relative,’ Peter put in. ‘He’s never featured in Lucy’s life. He hasn’t seen her since she was a baby, and as far as we know he’s not even in this country. Does his name appear on her birth certificate?’
‘No,’ Stevie said.
‘So I think we can rule him out,’ Peter said. ‘Unless he suddenly materializes and applies to look after Lucy, which is highly unlikely.’ Stevie nodded. ‘What about the other relatives?’ Peter now asked Stevie. ‘We need to get this moving so that Lucy is settled. She’s had enough uncertainty in her life. At the last review you were looking for two uncles, an aunt and a grandmother?’ Peter said, checking back in his notes. ‘Where are they?’
‘Lucy’s maternal grandmother lives in Scotland,’ Stevie said. ‘She has had her own problems and Bonnie is adamant that she doesn’t want Lucy to go and live with her. I agree; because of her lifestyle, it’s not an option. Bonnie doesn’t know where her brothers are – there’s been no contact for many years – and Lucy has never met them, so I’ve ruled them out too.’
‘And the aunt?’ Peter said, checking back in his paperwork. ‘This was the lady who gave Bonnie and Lucy a home when Lucy was a baby. We thought that sounded hopeful.’
Stevie shook her head. ‘I’ve spoken to Maggie on the phone. She’s a lovely lady, but she can’t offer Lucy a home as she is in poor health herself.’
‘So that leaves us with a long-term foster family for Lucy?’ Peter said.
‘Yes,’ Stevie confirmed. ‘The family-finding team are looking for a good match.’
‘Well, I hope they don’t take too long,’ Peter said quite forcefully. He finished writing and then said to Stevie: ‘Perhaps you could now tell us about the contact Lucy had with her mother last week?’
Stevie sighed. ‘It wasn’t good. The contact supervisor’s report shows that both Bonnie and Lucy found the meeting very difficult.’
‘How long was the contact?’ Peter asked.
‘One hour.’
He made a note, and Stevie continued: ‘Bonnie and Lucy didn’t engage with each other at all. They struggled to make conversation and weren’t able to communicate at any meaningful level. There were long, awkward silences and they were awkward with each other, and not at all tactile.’
‘You mean they didn’t hug or kiss each other?’ Peter asked.
‘That’s right. Not even when they met or said goodbye.’ Which of course I’d also noticed.
‘According to the supervisor’s report,’ Stevie continued, ‘Lucy suggested that they play some games together – draughts, dominoes and Scrabble – but Bonnie said she didn’t know how to play any of these games. Lucy offered to teach her and said that Cathy had been teaching her, but Bonnie said it was better she played them with Cathy, who knew how to play the games. In fact, Lucy talked a lot about Cathy and her family and the things they do together.’
‘Did Bonnie resent this?’ Peter asked.
‘Surprisingly, no,’ Stevie said. ‘In fact, Bonnie told Lucy she was pleased she was happy with Cathy. Cathy met Bonnie at the start and end of contact.’
‘How did that go?’ Peter asked, turning to me.
‘All right,’ I said. ‘I only met Bonnie for a couple of minutes, but she was polite to me.’
‘And how was Lucy after contact?’ Peter asked me.
‘Lucy wasn’t upset; she seemed to take it in her stride,’ I said. ‘I formed the impression that she hadn’t expected much more from her mother. Lucy told me that she didn’t expect to see her mother regularly and that her mother couldn’t help being the way she is, because she’d been abused as a child.’
‘How very sad,’ Peter said as he wrote. Then he looked at Stevie. ‘You were hoping to set up regular contact between Lucy and her mother; I take it that’s not going to happen now?’
‘No,’ Stevie said. ‘It’s not practical.’
‘Is Bonnie going to contest the case in court?’ Peter now asked Stevie.
‘No. Bonnie recognizes she can’t look after Lucy.’
‘It took her long enough,’ Peter commented dryly. ‘So, we’re just waiting for your family-finding team to come up with a good match for Lucy?’
‘Yes,’ Stevie confirmed.
Then turning to me, Peter said, ‘And while the social services are finding a suitable family for Lucy, she can stay with you?’
‘Oh, yes,’ I said. ‘For as long as it takes to find a family. The night she had contact, we were talking and she told me she would like to stay with us permanently. I’ve explained why that’s not possible.’
Peter looked at Stevie. ‘And as Lucy’s social worker you’ve explained all this to Lucy?’ he asked.
‘As much as I can,’ Stevie said. ‘Lucy won’t have anything to do with me at present.’
‘Well, someone needs to explain the recent developments to Lucy,’ Peter said. ‘That none of her extended family has come forward to look after her, so she’ll be going to a long-term foster family. I take it she’s too old to be adopted?’
‘Yes,’ Stevie said.
‘I think Lucy understands most of this already,’ I said. ‘But I can have another chat with her if you like and tell her, as she won’t see Stevie?’
‘Yes, please,’ Peter said. ‘It’s a pity Lucy didn’t feel able to join us for her review.’ I felt I was receiving a little smack on the legs. ‘And her Life Story Book?’ Peter now asked Stevie.
‘She should have it here,’ Stevie said to me.
‘It’s in a drawer in her bedroom,’ I said. ‘She’s very protective of it and hasn’t let any of us see it. I’m taking lots of photographs that can be added to it.’
‘Good,’ Peter said, making a note. ‘Now, is there anything else?’ He looked around the room, but no one had anything to add. ‘In that case, we’ll set a date for her next review and I’ll close the meeting.’
We took out our diaries and a date was set in January, in five months’ time. Peter thanked us all for attending, which is customary, and he and Stevie left while Jill waited behind.
‘That went reasonably well,’ Jill said, once they’d gone.
‘Yes, although it’s a pity Lucy wouldn’t come down.’
‘She did once,’ Jill said with a smile. ‘To let the cat in.’
‘I know!’
‘Hopefully she’ll come to her next review. It will be very close to her going to permanency so it will be an important one.’ I nodded. ‘Cathy, how do you feel about doing another short respite?’ Jill said, changing the subject. ‘Just for next week.’
‘I don’t see why not,’ I said. ‘Everyone was happy about David staying.’
‘Thanks. His name is Toby. He’s twelve and has been with his foster family for a year. His carers had booked to take him on holiday, but the social services didn’t get him a passport in time, so rather than have the whole family cancel their holiday, I’ve said we’ll arrange a week’s respite.’
‘That’s all right with me,’ I said. ‘Although it’s a pity Toby couldn’t go on holiday.’ The dilemma that faced Toby’s family highlighted an ongoing problem experienced by many foster families: that the child or children they are looking after don’t have passports, and the application to acquire one can only be made by the social services, not the foster carer. While this might not seem a high priority, it often resulted in either the foster family not having a holiday (sometimes for years), having to cancel a pre-booked holiday and losing their money or the foster child being left behind in respite care.
Jill called goodbye to the children upstairs as she left, and once she’d gone I went up and told them that we were going to look after Toby from Friday evening for a week. Adrian was delighted to have a boy of a similar age to himself for company, and Lucy and Paula were happy for Toby to stay too. We made the best of the good weather that week and were outside most days, either in the garden or the local parks.
When Toby’s foster father, Sid, brought Toby on Friday evening, he and Adrian immediately went off to play. Sid was still angry that he couldn’t take Toby on holiday with them and, out of earshot of the children, he said to me: ‘My wife told the social services ten months ago that we were booking this holiday. We had permission to take him abroad. You’d have thought they could have got him a passport! How long do they need?’ I sympathized, for had I wanted to take my family abroad I could have been in the same position; Lucy didn’t have a passport and she’d been in care for three years!
I reassured Sid that I would give Toby a good week with lots of outings, which is what I did. We went out every day and I included a day at the zoo and a day trip to the coast. While Toby enjoyed all of this, it wasn’t as good as a holiday abroad, which Toby had clearly been looking forward to – it would have been his first time on a plane. Apart from missing out on this experience, he also missed his foster family, as I was sure they were missing him. When Sid returned to collect Toby, they hugged each other hard and I thought they were close to tears. While Toby went up to his room to collect his bag, I asked Sid if he and his family had had a nice time. He shrugged and said, ‘We made the best of it, but to be honest we all felt guilty about leaving Toby behind. I think we should have cancelled and lost the money.’ I felt sorry for him and thought: all this, for the sake of some paperwork!
It was now halfway through August and our thoughts turned to our own holiday, which was in a week’s time. Adrian, Lucy and Paula were all very excited and were planning all the fun things they were going to do: build sandcastles, paddle and swim in the sea, eat loads of ice creams, watch the Punch and Judy show on the beach, stay up very late and lots, lots more. They’d been saving up their pocket money so they could go on plenty of rides at the funfair, and when the time came to pack their cases they were more than happy to help. It was a five-hour drive to the coast, but we left home at 6.00 a.m., stopped at the services on the motorway for breakfast and arrived at twelve. We dropped off our cases at the self-catering bungalow we were staying in and were on the beach by early afternoon. We stayed on the beach until the sun began to drop and then we returned to the bungalow, unpacked our cases and went out to eat in a family restaurant overlooking the sea. It was a lovely start to the holiday, and that evening three tired but very excited children climbed into bed and were asleep as soon as their heads touched their pillows.
We made the most of every day of our holiday; on the beach, in the sea, visiting local attractions. The resort was popular with families and, like all the other happy families around us, we had a great time. Lucy was ecstatic and kept thanking me and telling me what a fantastic time she was having – over and over again.
‘It’s OK, love,’ I said. ‘You don’t have to keep thanking me. I’m pleased you’re having a good time.’
‘I am! Thanks, Cathy. It’s the best holiday I’ve ever had.’
As far as I knew, it was the only holiday she’d ever had.
As I sat on the beach watching Adrian, Lucy and Paula playing in the sea, I thought more than once how much of a family unit we really were. Perhaps it was because Lucy had no proper family of her own that she’d bonded with us so quickly, and us with her. She’d fitted in so easily, and I often felt she was my daughter, and the three children were so natural together that they could easily have been siblings by birth. True, Lucy’s hair was darker than Adrian’s and Paula’s, and she had some of her father’s Thai features, but the differences were so negligible that she didn’t stand out as different. Many families are now comprised of children with different fathers, and I might have been married more than once for all anyone else knew. Stevie was looking for a good ethnic match for Lucy, but I knew such a family would be difficult to find. How long would she and the family-finding team leave Lucy in uncertainty while they looked? And how much did it really matter that a perfect ethnic match was found? Surely a stable, loving family should be the first priority?
I ran through these questions in my mind quite a few times during the holiday, and by the end of the week there was something pressing I needed to ask Jill as soon as we returned.