XV The four songs that follow…

The next four songs

Are separate from what I think,

Twist what I feel,

Oppose me stubbornly in what I am…

I wrote them with my ankle torn from a fall

And, as such, they’re natural

And consistent with what I feel,

Consistent with what they’re inconsistent with…

When ailing, I must think the opposite

Of what I think when I’m flush.

(If not, I wouldn’t be ill, now would I),

I must feel the opposite of what I feel

When healthy,

Must lie to my nature as a being

That feels in a certain way…

I must be entirely sick - ideas included.

When I’m sick, I’m not sick for any other chose.

As such, these songs that renounce me

Can’t get rid of me

They are the city I enter at night, struggling on the pedals

from Trinity-Bellwood up to Christie Pits, and on to No Frills

My ankle’s killing me and it’s slow,

And the city’s wrenched opposite…or…the soul…