Chapter 24

 

 

HER EYES OPENED TO a throbbing headache—not a surprise considering she’d cried most of the night. She rolled over onto her back and stared at the ceiling. Though she still wanted to cry, her eyes were dry, but in her heart, she wept. What was she going to do now? Return to Ebinom having failed at her marriage? She didn’t want to consider that, especially after creating the illusion of a good life during her weekend trip to the village.

As she sat up, the throbbing in her head shot up for a second, making her wince. This was all Michael’s fault, she thought, glad she’d woken up alone. She had locked him out last night, determined not to be sweet-talked into lovemaking. He’d told her he loved her, and she’d begun to believe him. How could he say those words if he didn’t mean them? How did he make her feel like he cared for her one minute, and then treat her as if she didn’t exist the next moment?

If only there had been no Lena. She sighed. Would it have made a difference? Would Michael have loved her and treated her well? She could only wonder.

Dragging herself out of bed, she proceeded to the bathroom, where a brief dizzy spell caused her to lean over the sink retching, but nothing came. She remained stooped over the basin until the dizziness had subsided.

When the headache persisted, she began to suspect she was catching a fever. She wished it would just kill her, then she wouldn’t have to feel the agony. She took a painkiller and hoped to be okay, but when by the next Friday, she still felt ill, she knew for certain she had to see a doctor.

Leaving instructions for lunch with Ama, she took a taxi to the hospital.

She went through the required procedure of registration and took her place at the end of a slow-moving queue. She looked around at some very sick-looking people and pitied them. What right had sickness to do this to people? By this time, she felt much better. For some reason, the intoxicating smell of drugs and disinfectant in the hospital wasn’t as off-putting as she had anticipated.

Finally, at almost three o’clock, the nurse called her name. She grabbed her handbag with a sigh of relief and walked into the consulting room.

You!” she exclaimed when she saw the doctor. It was Dr. Cruickshank, the same one who had helped her out when she’d twisted her ankle.

He stood to shake her hand. “Mrs. Badu. What a pleasant surprise.”

That I’m sick?”

No.” He laughed, reclaiming his seat. “That we meet again. Please, sit down. How’s your husband?”

He’s fine,” she answered, hoping he wouldn’t continue that line of conversation.

The doctor engaged her in some pleasantries before inquiring about her ailment, and she told him the symptoms. He asked a few questions and wrote down some notes as she spoke.

Dr. Cruickshank, please don’t give me Nivaquin or any of those ‘quin’ medicines. They make me itch.”

The doctor laughed. “I promise you I won’t. We have some new drugs on the market with less aggressive side effects.”

While they talked, the nurse took her temperature and blood pressure. When she handed them over to Dr. Cruickshank, he looked them over for a second, then scribbled something on a lab card and handed it to Esi. “First, I want you to do some tests.”

She took the card and looked it over, frowning when she couldn’t make head or tail of what was written. “Thank you. Will it take long?”

He checked his time. “It’s after three. The lab will be relatively empty, so it shouldn’t take long. Bring it back as soon as you get the results.”

Thank you.”

 

****

 

She returned to the doctor’s office forty minutes later with her lab report. Just like the lab order, she couldn’t decipher the results. She prayed it wasn’t anything serious. Dr. Cruickshank took a moment to read the report.

Doctor—”

Eric,” he corrected. “My friends call me Eric.”

Okay.” She gave an embarrassed chuckle. “Does this place belong to you?”

No, I’m just an employee here.” He looked up from the paper.

Is it something serious?”

He looked up and grinned.

Congratulations, Mrs. Badu. My results tell me you’re pregnant.” He glanced at the calendar on his desk. “In about six months, you’re going to be a mother.”

What?”

There was no trace of excitement in her voice. Rather, worry filled her. She gripped the edges of her chair and shut her eyes for an instant. How could she be pregnant?

Dr. Cruickshank, alarmed, rose to his feet. “Are you all right?”

No. I mean, yes. I’m fine.” She offered a weak smile. “I just didn’t think it would be so soon.”

The doctor laughed. “This is your first, isn’t it?”

Yes, but, Doctor…Eric—”

Yes?”

I haven’t missed my period.”

Understanding poured into the doctor’s eyes, and he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

It can happen for many different reasons. You will need to start taking multivitamin tablets.” Handing her the prescription form, he said, “This should help stabilise your system.”

Esi shifted in her seat. “What if I’ve been taking contraceptive pills?”

Have you?”

She nodded. “Not anymore.”

The doctor smiled, his look full of empathy. “Don’t worry. It shouldn’t cause any harm. Most contraceptives aren’t harmful to the foetus,” he assured her. “The pills would explain why you didn’t miss your period.”

She nodded and stood to leave. “Thank you, Eric.”

Extend my greetings to your husband.”

I will.”

On her way home in a chartered taxi, she pondered what the doctor had said. She was already three months pregnant. What was she going to do? Abort it?

No, her mind screamed. Where did that thought come from? She wanted the baby. Michael was the one she didn’t want. What would she tell him? His actions had made it clear he didn’t really want a child. Telling him could make everything even worse.

 

****

 

Michael met her in the sitting room just as she entered. For a brief second, panic seized her. Why did she have to meet him, and why did he look upset?

Where have you been?” he demanded.

To the hospital.”

Is everything okay?”

Guilt assaulted her at his concerned tone.

Yes.”

With a nod, he turned to leave. Relief swept over her. She’d expected a big argument.

Dr. Cruickshank says hello.”

Dr. Cruick—” He turned with a little frown, then his expression cleared as recollection filled his eyes. “I should have known.”

What is that supposed to mean?” She didn’t bother to mask her shock. “I was sick, okay? And doctors take care of the sick.”

Why did you go to him, of all the doctors in this city?”

This is ridiculous. I didn’t know he worked there.”

Sure.” He waved a lazy hand and muttered, “You expect a gentleman to believe that?”

Gentleman? You call yourself a gentleman?” she blurted before she could stop herself. “You’re a man because—because of that.” She pointed a petulant finger at his groin area. “But the gentle is lost somewhere in your head.”

In a flash, his palm slammed into the door behind her, his hand inches away from her face.

Esi’s throat clenched, cutting off her scream. Her frightened eyes looked up at him, burning with tears, her lip quivering. She swallowed as her mind registered that he hadn’t hit her. Yet, the pain that impaled her heart hurt more than any physical injury he could have inflicted.

Without another word, she hastened past him.

 

****

 

Oh, God. Michael stared after her, shocked at his action. He would never hit her, but he’d reacted in anger, and the fear in her eyes clearly told him he might as well have slapped her. How could he have allowed his jealousy to influence his actions? Had he gone out of his mind?

Yes. He’d gone crazy. She had stuck a knife in his chest by holding on to her anger and locking him out of their bedroom the other night, and she’d twisted it by ignoring him most of the week. He was at fault, so he should take it in his stride. But he couldn’t shake off the feeling that he was losing her, and he had no idea how to get her back.

And now, he’d made his case infinitely worse. How would he face her again? He fell into an armchair, ashamed, his emotions jumbled.

 

****

 

Ama hid in her room, wanting to comfort Auntie Esi. She remembered many times before when her father had beaten up her mother who was too weak to retaliate, too afraid to report him to the authorities. It had been hard to understand because her mother had been a good person. It hadn’t always been like that, though.

There had been happier times when she was younger, but when the beatings began, they never stopped. Finally, after her mother died, her father turned on her and her brothers, beating them for everything that went wrong. Not a day went by without at least one of them ending up in tears and bruises.

Eventually, Ama mustered the courage to run away from home, stealing money from her father. She travelled from the Eastern region to sell sweets on the streets. The police came up one day and rounded up all the street children. As the authorities searched for their families, Ama had managed to escape and ended up in the home of a woman who recruited domestic helps. This was where her new guardian had found her.

Now, her nightmare seemed to have caught up with her. The memories of yesterday were arising again. She was frightened. Would she have to run again?

 

****

 

Esi’s head felt like a whirlwind. She’d allowed her tongue to go too far this time. Tears ran freely down her face as if they had to fill the dry valleys of a desert. Inside, she felt hollow, as if her body had been emptied, leaving the outward shell for show. She’d failed miserably at her marriage. What was she going to do? Where would she go if she left? She didn’t want to return to Ebinom for the whole village to feed on her humiliation. She held her head in her hands, wishing she could die.

Death, however, would be unfair to her unborn child. For that reason, she had to stay strong. Her jumbled thoughts propelled her to the wardrobe where she picked out a couple of extra dresses. Her only prayer was that Michael wouldn’t enter the room, because, if he did, he’d order her to stay, and she would. How she wished the kind of love in story books could be real. She picked up a note pad and pencil, then decided against leaving a message.

By the time he noticed her absence, she’d be long gone. She took some money and crept into the dark. The hardest thing she’d ever done was walk away from the house, from Michael…from her life.