Daniel
The wolf pack was in trouble. Again.
“So, you paying the damages?” Sam rolled a toothpick between his teeth as he waited for me to answer, although I could see it in his face that he was already expecting me to reach for my checkbook, like I had a thousand times before. “I figure it’s about five hundred for me to replace that table and the two chairs.”
I glanced over at the members of the pack, sitting sullenly in cuffs. My hand went to my back pocket, ready to pull out my wallet. But for some reason, I hesitated. Was I doing these kids any good by always bailing them out? Ever since Thomas died, I’d been helping them out of trouble every time they managed to get themselves in these situations. I’d seen Nathan, Thomas’s son, and the new head of their pack, hurting the same way I was hurting. But instead of keeping busy and trying to help this town the way I had, Nathan just seemed to be leading himself and the rest of his pack to complete destruction.
Yes, I’d thought by this point things would be getting better. But judging by the boys’ torn, dirty clothes and faces full of bruises, things weren’t getting better. And maybe it was my fault. As a bear, I couldn’t lead their pack or tell them what to do, but I could stop enabling them. Something I should have done a long time ago, a decade ago when he died. I didn’t know if it was seeing Emma that had brought this desire for change inside of me, but regardless of the cause, I couldn’t go down this road any longer.
It wasn’t healthy. Not for me. Or for them.
“No.” I drew my hand away from my money as the alpha, Nathan, looked up at me in shock. “Not this time.”
Even Sheriff Samuel’s eyebrows went up. But I looked away from his surprised expression to the boys. I could see it in Nathan’s face. In all his twenty-something years, he’d never been in a situation that this old bear, or his father, didn’t step up and bail him out of. I hoped, even if he hated me after this, he one day realized that I did him a favor.
God, I hope I was doing them all a favor.
His father would’ve been disappointed in me for being so soft with them. Yeah, he hadn’t ever let Nathan get hurt, but he also didn’t coddle him the way I had. He was preparing him every day of his life to become the next alpha. He taught him right and wrong. He helped him to grow up healthy and strong. And then… then he was gone and the solid foundation he’d built crumbled.
It wasn’t all my fault. But I hadn’t helped. And as Nathan’s gray eyes met mine and narrowed in utter hatred, I felt my stomach twist. I loved this kid like he was my own, but if he had to hate me to learn to be better, then I’d accept this.
I looked at Sheriff Samuel, willing myself not to feel like a traitor. “Put them in lockup. They need to learn a lesson because this shit isn’t getting any better.”
The other wolves shuffled around and glared at me, and a feeling of betrayal and a whole lot of anger rolled off of them. It made me feel bad to see these lost kids probably feeling like they were losing another father figure. But if I was going to try my best to help them, then I needed to learn the difference between helping them and enabling them. By the end of this, they’d either improve, stay the same, or get worse, but at least I tried to make things better.
“If they can come up with the money to pay the damages, I can probably get them off with just community service,” the sheriff said, adjusting the brim of his big cowboy hat, his mouth drawn into a thin line. No doubt he was thinking about how he was going to keep this rough pack of kids in our small jail until things got sorted out.
His gaze met mine, and he huffed, his belly protruding even further as he realized what I already knew. They didn’t have the money. They couldn’t put two and two together long enough to make any money. The lot of them were aimless. Not hunting the way the pack had done in the past, providing meat and fur to sell in the local shops, nor using the other resources on their lands to keep the pack coffers full.
It was kind of depressing. It wasn’t that long ago that the wolves were comfortably wealthy, run like a well-oiled machine, and were something to be proud of. Damn it. They’d fallen so far, and where was I? Just putting one foot in front of the other, trying to ignore my broken heart? A fat lot of help that had done this pack.
Nathan’s glare hit me again, and I swear he wanted to tear my head off. Wolves were known for being hot-headed, but most shifters knew when to bow their head and take their licks. Losing his dad so young had made Nathan angry. Bitter. And not at all the kind of man who sat up tall, accepted the consequences of his actions, and tried to better himself.
Maybe a little tough love would help the kid. Bailing him out certainly hadn’t been doing it.
Without another word or even a backward glance, I walked out of the bar and got into my truck. Turning the key in the ignition, her loud engine roared to life, and I buckled up, hands shaking ever so slightly. Nathan’s face kept flashing in my mind, but I put my pickup in drive and headed out of that dark parking lot.
I needed some time to myself. To clear my head. And not run back there, waving my wallet.
So, I did the only thing I could think of, I headed up into the mountains, driving my truck as far as the road went before getting out and shifting into my bear form. The shift only took a moment as my bones cracked and my larger body took shape. But the second I was in my more natural form, some of the weight of what I’d done fell off my shoulders. I allowed my thoughts to drift a bit as I focused on the sights and scents of nature. Green life. Small animals. Dirt. And water, close by. I breathed it all in, huffing like the old bear I was.
The walk helped me clear my head. Wolves were roaming the woods under the moonlight, too, but they left me alone. Technically this was the edge of their territory, but it had practically become my territory since Thomas had died. It was sort of our spot, so now I’d found myself returning here every time I felt lost.
Growing up, we’d hung out here a lot, learned the limits of our shifting. Ran and fought. Came here after breakups or when our parents were too much for us. It felt like this place was more home sometimes than my quiet cabin. They said home was where the heart was, right? Well, this place was what I associated Thomas with the most. And while it’d hurt too much to visit some of the places Sarah and I had gone together, this place managed to bring me peace instead of pain.
As I broke from the forest, I shifted back into my human form and walked the rest of the way on bare feet. The big red rock stuck out from the rest of the forest, so big the whole pack could have sat here with ease. I walked along the thick stone, listening to the way my feet slapped against it, and how the crickets and other night animals called to one another, not missing a beat, even when I moved among them. When I got to the edge, I could see more woods below me, and the ocean stretching out in front of me. The salty air whispered over my skin, and I shivered as goosebumps erupted along my naked flesh.
“Hey, Thomas,” I said, my voice breaking a little. “I don’t know what I’m doing, man.”
I sighed and wished he was really here. “I met this girl. Well, re-met her. She’s amazing. I never thought I’d find someone like Emma, especially not at our age.” I chuckled sadly. “My age. But I did. And now I have to get the rest of me sorted out, so if she actually sees something with me too, I’m not too much of a mess to be the kind of man she needs.”
My gaze swung to the place Thomas had always sat, and it was easy to pretend he was really here. Except that he would have bumped my shoulder and told me to not overthink it. To just enjoy Emma. To accept that it was okay that I was moving on and could see a future that wasn’t lonely. But he wouldn’t just say the words, he’d make me believe them so deep in my heart that I’d be sure I was on the right path.
That was something the lonely rock couldn’t do for me.
“Emma has changed Mystic Hollow. Or maybe she’s changed me, because I’ve realized I’ve been handling Nathan and the pack all wrong.” I give a sad laugh. “But you already knew that didn't you? I bet if you could have screamed at me from the afterlife to pull it together, you would have.”
The wind whistled around me in response.
“But I’m going to do better, I swear I will. Emma’s been getting me back into police business, and I know it’s been good for me. You would’ve told me I retired too early. That I’d be bored, but now I’m realizing it myself. That when you and Sarah died, I wasn’t just trying to keep going until I could be with you. I’m still here, for a reason, and so I actually need to live a bit. Right?” I turned to where he always sat.
And I nearly fell off the rock. “Thomas!” I exclaimed. He was sitting there, looking at me with the world’s saddest expression on his face. “How?”
I blinked, taking him in. It was him. Exactly the way I remembered him. Same gray eyes as Nathan, same light brown hair, and sharp lines to his face. Except, that he was bigger than his son. The only wolf to be nearly as big as me. And he was sitting next to me, glowing softly, a little transparent, but him.
It wasn’t possible. Was it? I mean, I knew ghosts existed, but Thomas had been gone for a long time. There wouldn’t be a reason for him to suddenly come back here. Would there?
I leaned forward and peered at him more closely, my voice wavering. “Thomas?”
His sad expression deepened, and my heart raced. If I accepted he was a ghost sitting with me now, I also needed to accept that he was here for a reason. And ghosts only crossed to the land of the living if it was important.
“Aren’t you at peace?” I asked, my heart twisting at the thought that he hadn’t achieved the peace I’d imagined in the afterlife.
After a second, he shook his head. Thomas opened his mouth, his lips moving but nothing coming out for several long seconds before his brows drew together and his shoulders slumped.
“Are you trying to tell me something?” I asked.
Thomas nodded enthusiastically.
“What is it?”
He moved his lips again, but nothing came out. If he was making any sounds in his realm, wherever he was, I couldn’t hear them. And it made a growl tear from my throat. My best friend came all this way to tell me something, and I couldn’t even hear him. How was that fair? How was any of this okay? Wasn't it enough that he’d died so early and so tragically? A car wreck, when he had a young son and at the same time as my Sarah’s accident. It had been a horrible time of my life.
His face reflected the frustration I felt, and he reached out as if to touch my shoulder, but his hand went through me. In his face, I saw that there was something he desperately wanted to tell me. The sensation was so powerful that I felt the temperature around me drop and goosebumps erupted along my naked flesh.
“You need to tell me something important, but you can’t. Or I can’t understand you. Right?”
He nodded, and his eyes spoke volumes, that this was not something to be forgotten, and then he just faded away.
“Thomas!” I yelled and waved my hands around the area he’d just been moments before.
He’d been sad, upset, and definitely trying to tell me something. How could I get him back? “Thomas?” I whispered.
But he didn’t return.
My thoughts spun. What could I do? How could I figure out what he wanted to say and give him peace? Was that even possible when he wasn’t able to communicate his message?
I released a slow breath. I guess the best I could do is try to assume what he was trying to tell me. Maybe that would be enough for now.
“I’ll do my best. I’ll try to help your son, and whatever you were trying to warn me about, I’ll look out for it, too.”
But the tension in the air around me remained. Guessing wasn’t enough. I had to know. I had to receive the message that Thomas had come back to tell me.
I stood, my hands bunching into fists. “I’ll be back, Thomas. Try to show yourself again if you can.”
With one last look at the breathtaking views off the cliff and down across the mountains, I turned and shifted, lumbering down the trail toward my truck.
If nothing else, it was good to see my old friend. For now. And I might just be an old bear, but old bears were stubborn. I’d figure out a way to communicate with my friend. You could count on that.