The water in the bathtub is a hazy red, and I feel like I’m soaking in more blood and tears than water. Looking at my arms in shock, I begin to sob, not quite understanding what is happening to me. I reach out to my purse for my phone. I don’t know who to call. I try to search my memory for someone who cares. Not Cole. Just call anyone else. I dial one of the only numbers I have memorized.
“Hello! Corsetti’s Flooring and Roofing Installation. How may I direct your call?”
I’m not sure if this is the right number. I must have memorized it wrong. But I try anyway.
“I’m looking for Levi,” I whisper.
“Who should I say is calling?”
“Scarlett.”
“Just one moment please.”
I lean my head on the bathtub, as I wait. I have no faith that it is the correct number. If there is a Levi there, it will probably be the wrong Levi. I don’t recall my friend ever working for a flooring company.
“Hey, Scar?” comes the familiar voice.
I sit up, exhaling in relief. “Levi, please help me. Please don’t tell Cole. I need you—I need your help. Something’s happening to me.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I keep blacking out and waking up in strange places. Please, please don’t tell Cole. I’m not… I’m not feeling so good. I think I hurt myself.”
“Where are you now?”
“I have no idea. I woke up on the side of the road, and I kept walking and found some random motel. I—I had a fight with Cole. I mean, not a fight. He just said some things, and I can’t go home.”
“Okay, Scarlett. Don’t move. I’ll be there soon.”
“Please hurry.”
When I wake up this time, I am in the bed, wearing a dry robe, and covered in blankets. When I lift my arms, I see that both wrists have been bandaged up. I look and see that Levi is sleeping on the couch, not far away.
“Levi,” I whisper.
He wakes up instantly and is at my side, holding me. I hug him tightly, crying into his neck. “I don’t want to die,” I tell him. “I don’t want to die.”
“You won’t,” he assures me.
“I don’t know what’s happening to me. I keep passing out. Levi, I think there’s something really wrong with me. I think I’m sick.”
“I’m here now, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”
“Thank you, thank you so much for coming,” I say, clinging to him.
“Why hasn’t Cole noticed you’re missing?” Levi asks.
I shrug, glancing at my phone. “He doesn’t care. I told him I’m okay. I told him I’m busy. He said we’ll talk later.”
“Scarlett.”
“I don’t know where to go,” I tell him. “Please don’t leave me here, alone.”
“I’m staying with you,” he assures me. Then he smiles. “You memorized the number.”
I smile. I lean forward and try to kiss him, but he evades me.
“Hey, hey, hold on a second. Are you sure?” he asks.
“Yes, please. I need you.”
“What about Cole?”
“What about him? You know he doesn’t want me.”
“Scarlett…”
I pull away, crying, and limp. I curl up on the bed.
“What did Cole do to you?” Levi asks.
“Nothing. He just said something very Cole-like. And now I can’t go home. I tried to go home, but I keep blacking out. I just can’t bring myself to go near him again. I would rather die.”
“What did he say?”
“I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. It’s over. I don’t think I’m ever going to see him again.”
Levi sighs, and rubs his hand over my shoulder. “Scarlett, I’m so sorry. What can I do to help?”
I take a shuddering breath and push myself to my feet, and begin pacing the room.
“I’ve never seen you like this, Scar.”
“Can I tell you a secret?” I ask him. “Can I trust you?”
“Sure.”
“You promise you won’t tell Cole?”
“Never.”
“I’m not Scarlett. I’m Savannah.”
“What?”
“She did this,” I tell him, holding up my wrists. “She wanted to die, but I want to live. I had to stop her, and take control.”
“Oh my god. Okay. Okay. I get that.”
“Can you take care of me?” I ask him. “Can you watch me, and make sure I don’t die?”
“Sure, of course. I’ll do whatever you need me to do.”
I move to stand closer to him. “Will you please fuck me,” I ask, removing the robe and standing naked before him. “Can you just fuck me to make me feel better, make me forget all this pain?”
Levi inhales sharply. “Of course, I can. The same way I did when Cole was in prison. The same way I did when you were nineteen. I’ll always help you when you need me.”
“Thank you,” I say, wrapping my arms around him. I know that it’s a lie, but for a few seconds, when I have a man inside me, I feel loved. I feel better.
“I told you before that Cole was too weak to give you what you needed,” Levi says, standing up and pushing me up against the wall. “I told you that you shouldn’t get married at age fourteen.”
“I really loved him,” I tell Levi hoarsely, as he lowers his pants.
“Don’t worry,” Levi says, cupping his hands under my thighs and lifting me so that my legs circle his waist. He grinds against me with his hips, until he enters me. “I’ll make you forget all about Cole Hunter.”
My head rolls back against the wall as he thrusts inside me.
And that is how I made Levi Bishop think he had gotten me pregnant.
And that is how I stayed alive, when the other parts of me wanted to die.