After the sex—the fucking? The mutual masturbation. I wasn’t sure it could be called anything else—I let Adam shower then walk out. It wasn’t like we were going to cuddle, and if he was hellbent on talking to Brooke, let him.
That didn’t mean I could get his words out of my head.
I tried.
I tried to shove them out with loud music and hard labor, cranking the stereo while I worked in the basement.
He was back hours later, a scowl on his face.
I knew better than to ask how it went. I wasn’t surprised, but I had hoped he’d get the answer he wanted from Brooke.
We exchanged grunts more than words as he helped me finish my work. The list wasn’t long but those final touches were the things that took the most time. The basement had to look just right.
When we were done, we headed upstairs. I didn’t have any more answers than earlier, but I’d burned off most of my frustration and was just left with exhausted confusion.
“I need another fucking shower.” Adam stripped off his shirt as we walked into the apartment.
It was tempting to offer to join him, but I didn’t want that to be how I knocked loose the thoughts screaming for my attention. I’d risk him using all the hot water before I did that. “You go ahead.”
He studied me, his brow furrowed, then shook his head and walked into the bathroom.
I collapsed on my bed, and that gave my brain permission to assault me. To remind me how much it hurt this morning when Brooke reminded me her family wasn’t mine. My children. Not yours.
Of course it was true, but it hurt regardless. The simple exchange tied to my past. To children I thought were mine. To losing a family that never really belonged to me, for the second time in my life.
And what Adam said when we got back… The accusations. The observations.
I want you to admit Brooke is more than just a fuck. That I am.
I scrubbed my hand over my barely-there hair.
What did I really want?
If I said the words, if I even thought them…
Was I prepared for the way that would change everything?
* * *
Monday morning didn’t bring any new answers, but at least it brought the distraction of work. There was already a short line of people outside when I got downstairs, and Adam was doing some last-minute straightening.
“You posted the first video.” How had I almost forgotten we were doing a soft grand-opening of the basement today? That and it was President’s Day. More people always showed today, and I’d always thought buying furniture was an odd way to celebrate presidents.
Adam looked at me with his lips pursed, and his nostrils flared when he inhaled. “Of course I did. I told you I would.” His tone wasn’t angry, but it wasn’t kind either.
“Thank you.” I meant it.
We were almost ready to unlock the doors when A loud pounding came from the back of the building. I sprinted back to find out who was hammering on the door, and unlocked it to find Aubrey on the other side.
“Oh.” She let out a soft huff. “It’s you.”
“It’s my place.” I was happy to see her, to talk to her, even if she hadn’t said much. I hadn’t changed my mind about how I felt, but I did want my friend back. “About the other night—”
She held up her index finger, silencing me. “Later. That line in front of your shop is doubling the population of the town.”
“Not quite.” But if things grew over the week, it might by the official grand re-opening on Saturday.
Aubrey almost smiled. “I’m hoping I see the same when Adam’s video with the dresses goes live, so I’m also hoping you can have someone bring the rest of them over if you can spare a body for an hour today.”
“I’ll find a way.”
Dylan shouted my name and I glanced back toward the main floor of the shop. Damn it, I really wanted to make things right with Aubrey.
With Adam.
With Brooke.
But Aubrey was here.
And what I had to say to Adam and Brooke reached a lot deeper into my heart, and would rip me open a lot wider.
“Go,” she said. “I have a place to open too.”
And that was the last thought I had about anything but antiques and how much they were worth for the next ten hours. We opened the doors at ten, locked them at seven, and haggled with stragglers until eight.
When I finally collapsed onto one of the stools behind the counter, exhaustion caught up to me. That was possibly the best day I’d ever seen this place have. People had driven in from other states. Not just Wyoming and Idaho, but Washington and Montana.
“Good day?” Aubrey’s question startled me and I realized she had joined Adam and me.
“Holy shit, you scared the fuck out of me.” My tired brain paused to remind me it was unusual to see her here, since she was mad at me, and that I’d forgotten to send her dresses over. “I’m so sorry. We didn’t have anyone free.” That was true.
“I kind of figured,” she said. “That’s why I’m here.”
“We’ll bring things over now.” Adam was already on his feet.
My back ached just thinking about it—silk was a lot heavier in bulk than it looked—but Aubrey’s was one door over and I owed her.
As Adam headed into the back room, I stopped Aubrey. “You have to hear me out first.”
“You’re going to put conditions on us doing business?” Aubrey didn’t look impressed. “What are you going to say? That you’re sorry for not liking me? That you still want to be friends? I get that.”
I shrugged. “I’d say it more kindly than last time.”
“We’ll get there, D, but give me time.”
It was a reasonable request. “How much time?”
Aubrey rolled her eyes. “I guess it depends on how much it hurts when I have to see you with Brooke every day.”
“I’m not with Brooke.” But fuck I wanted to be. Now that I’d finally allowed myself to think it, the reality of how much I wanted her hit me hard.
“You guys coming?” Adam poked his head back in the room.
Or him. I wasn’t with either of them, and I wanted to be. That was a jagged, bitter truth to swallow, since I’d been working so hard to make the opposite happen.
“You’re such an idiot. So’s she.” Aubrey hopped from the stool. “Faster we get this done, faster you can go ice your back, old man.”
“Give it a few days, until your lines are out the door, and see how you feel, Grandma.” I fell into step beside Aubrey as we headed toward the basement.
She stuck her tongue out at me.
Over the next few days, things slowed to busy rather than hectic. Which made sense—the big antique hunters worked to get here first, and the rest would take their time. But we were putting out a bigger word on Friday, in hopes of drawing a huge crowd on Saturday.
The stream of customers didn’t stop me from wondering if Travis was freaking out about the Main Street parking situation.
But more, it didn’t stop me from noticing how absent Brooke was. For the third week in a row. Last weekend was supposed to mean she was back.
“Earth to Deacon.” Adam’s sharp whistle caught my attention. At least he was talking to me, though it had barely been about anything but business. “Dylan’s taking off.”
He couldn’t. Not until all the customers were gone. I looked around the showroom floor. Oh. It was seven and we’d gotten everyone out. “Yeah. Okay.” I shooed Dylan out and locked the doors behind him.
“Wow, a whole Thursday night to ourselves,” Adam said. “Whatever will we do with our time?”
“Sleep. For a billion years.” And pop some ibuprofen.
Adam shook his head. “I can give you until Saturday.”
“A day and a half is like a billion years.”
He snorted. “I’m so glad I don’t draw a paycheck from you. I’d hate to see how you do tax deductions.”
I shook my head and went to lock the front door.
Bryan slipped in before I reached my destination. Disappointment splashed inside that he was alone, but of course he was.
“What can I do for you?” I asked.
“I want a job.”
Not what I expected. I turned and headed back to the counter, talking over my shoulder as I walked. I could give him the same joke I gave everyone, that I only hired people whose names started with D, but there was an echo in the back of my head. Brooke reminding me these were her kids. “I’m not hiring.”
“You should be. You’re busy.”
It was a little petty of me to cling to her statement, but it was easier to focus on that comment than the one she never made. “Why do you want a job all the sudden? And why from me?”
“I… want to impress a girl.”
“Pretty sure Paige’s friend made up her mind there,” Adam chimed in when we reached him.
Adam didn’t like Brooke dumping him via text, but at least he got a text. Then again, I was the one who kept insisting Brooke and I were just friends. I couldn’t be upset at her for my own inability to see, and that hurt.
“How do you know about that? Does everyone know?” Bryan asked.
Adam shrugged. “Paige told me. I doubt she told everyone. She’s your sister—do you think she told anyone else?”
Bryan’s scowl was etched deep. “No. And this isn’t about Jamie.”
“You can’t just hop from one girl to the next.” Was I talking to him or myself? I opened the register, but didn’t touch the day’s receipts.
Bryan made a growling noise that reminded me of Brooke when she was frustrated. “It’s not like that. I’m doing the right thing. Helping her out.”
“What right thing? Help her out with what?” Adam’s confusion sounded exaggerated.
I wasn’t sure if I should laugh or smack him.
“Nothing.” Bryan shifted some things around on the counter. “Look. I’m already fitting in.”
I put everything back where it had been. There was an order to these things. Please don’t make me keep a secret like this from Brooke. Not that I could. “Does this nothing you’re helping a friend out with start with a B?”
“Pregnancy doesn’t start with— I mean, no.”
Yup. He’d gotten someone pregnant and that was going to be the less-than-ideal excuse I needed to call Brooke. Why did I need an excuse? I’d never needed one before.
“Baby starts with B,” Adam said.
“No.” Bryan sounded frustrated. “I’m not hopping from girl to girl, and it’s not mine. But she is a good friend, and I can’t tell you who and she doesn’t want the dad to know, and her parents are going to kill her if they find out—you know how uptight some of the people here are—and she just needs to get enough money for a bus ticket to her aunt’s house in Oregon. There aren’t a lot of job options in this town, and you obviously need help, at least for a few days. You’re sleeping with my mom, so you have to give me preference.”
“Give you preference?” Adam repeated the oddly formal phrase.
There was a lot to unpack in this conversation. “I’m not sleeping with Brooke.” Was that really what I should be focusing on right now? He was talking about helping a pregnant girl run away. “Did you not learn less than a week ago what happens when kids disappear without telling their parents?”
“Look. I need some extra cash, okay? Can we just leave it at that? Hire me for the weekend, I’ll tell you I’m spending it on comics if that helps you feel better, and it’ll get you back into my mom’s good graces, and maybe she’ll stop moping around the house.”
Something still didn’t feel right about his story. Like he was working too hard to give us a tale we’d grab onto and ignore what was really happening. But I’d circle back to that, because I was hung up on the fact that Brooke was moping over us. Wait.
“Who said I was the one who needed to get back in her good graces?” I asked.
Bryan nodded at Adam. “He came to visit her almost every day while her ankle was sprained.”
“Adam’s on the outs too.” I didn’t like this direction. “Who’s the money really for?”
Bryan clamped his jaw shut and shook his head.
“All right. We’re going to go grab dinner.” I closed the register again and turned away. “Call me when you want to give me a real answer.”
“Fine, it’s for Paige, okay,” Bryan spit out.
Adam looked surprised. “I don’t think Paige is pregnant. Do you need the birds and the bees talk?”
The look Bryan shot him was deadly. “She’s only been with Jamie for a week, and she’s not pregnant.” He sighed. “She has a chance to apply for an apprenticeship on the other side of the country. She sent a video of her and the tank to a NASCAR pit boss, and he wants to talk to her. She has to go to the interview in person, and this is a once-in-a-lifetime chance. She could learn from NASCAR people.”
“That’s fantastic.” This sounded more real to me. But why did it take him so long to get here?
“It is. Except”— Bryan let out another sigh—“she’s terrified of going.”
“How do you know?” Adam asked.
“She keeps making excuses and she made me swear on my life not to tell Mom. So Paige can’t afford to go. I figure if I give her the money for the trip, she’ll be out of excuses.”
“And if you tell us, it gets back to Brooke.” And if anyone asked, he could say we dragged the answer out of him, because we’d all but done exactly that.
Convoluted, but clever. He’d been watching way too many movies. Sounded like our kind of guy.
“You can help me clean up the shop tonight,” I said. “If you call your mom and tell her where you are.” I wasn’t putting Brooke in a panic over a missing kid again.
Bryan rolled his eyes. “Fine.” He grinned. “And thank you.”
I really wanted to make things right with Brooke, and this wasn’t the way to do it. Maybe I’d start with Adam and see if he was willing to forgive me for being dense, and then we’d talk to her.
Maybe.