After Thanksgiving…
I stare at the boxes along the basement wall that are filled with Christmas decorations. I’ve been sitting here for almost an hour now trying to make myself get up and do it. Every year Grams and I would put them out together, but this is the first time I’ve faced them since she died and even though I told myself I would keep the tradition I can’t. I made it halfway down the stairs before I parked my ass on the steps and now I’m unable to go any further.
I wipe away a tear and take comfort in knowing she’s where she wanted to be—she and Grandpa are together again. I wish I’d known him because the way she talked about their love sounded too good to be true. Yet I could see it in her eyes when she talked about him that they were soulmates. Even after he died, she never loved anyone else and said that she would always belong to him.
I stand up, knowing I’m not going to be able to do it today. Maybe tomorrow I’ll find the will to bring the boxes upstairs. Thanksgiving was hard enough and I don't want to start thinking about anything beyond that.
I shut the basement door and I glance over to the cell phone lying on the small kitchen table. I wish I could throw the thing away. I hate when it goes off because I feel a mixture of anxiety and excitement. I don’t know if it’s going be my brother wanting something from me or the man who’s taken over every other part of my mind.
When my brother gave me the old cell phone, I never imagined it would see this much action. I pick it up and see I have an inbox full of text messages and missed calls from Brian Carter. Why does he keep trying to talk to me? I did what I was supposed to and I’m done until my brother asks me to do something else. I don’t engage with people my brother works with, no matter how tempting this one is.
I clear out all the messages and turn it on silent before I lay it back down. By now Brian might have figured out I wasn't the one that was supposed to meet him with the building plans. Why my brother didn’t do it himself, I don’t know. I don’t ask because the less I know the better. He always has me running the weirdest of errands, but I just agree. The job seemed simple enough, but I wasn’t expecting Brian Carter to spark something inside me. It pissed me off and I let him know it by being cold and dismissive to him. I wanted him away from me so that maybe the feelings he invoked in me would leave with him. So far that hasn’t worked out.
I’m sick of running his errands, but what choice do I have? My brother has done a good job of making sure that I’ve got nowhere else to go and no other choice.
I look around Grams’ old house and think about all the memories stored here. The house isn’t in the best neighborhood, but I’ve been given protection because of my brother. Everyone around here is afraid of the man he works for. Mark is the muscle, but he’d probably call himself his right-hand man.
I want out, but Mark won’t let me and there’s no way I could sell this place. It’s in both our names and he wouldn’t agree to it. He likes having control over me, and it doesn’t take much for him to get me to do what he wants. I can see through his charm, no matter how hard he tries. There’s danger all around him and I’m no longer blind to it.
Grams died thinking he was an angel and thought I’d be okay because Mark would take care of me. I’m thankful she left this earth in peace not knowing who he really was. It took me growing up to see because of the fifteen-year age gap between us. Now that Grams is gone, he doesn’t try and hide it. It’s only when I get the sweet side of him do I think maybe he actually loves me in his own messed-up way.
Mark grew up with our parents who were drug addicts, living in the worst places until my mom handed him over to Grams the same day I was born. I don’t know my mother, but I’m thankful to her for at least giving me some sort of life she never gave Mark. I didn’t have to go through what he did and I’m sure I only know a little of what his life was like before. Sometimes I wonder if his anger towards me is because I didn’t have to go through what he did. He’s like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, only Mr. Hyde is around more and more since Grams passed, and I was actually thankful when he didn’t show up for Thanksgiving.
I glance over at the clock thinking maybe I’ll go over to the animal shelter and see if they need any extra hands tonight. It’s better than sitting here waiting for something to happen. That's how it’s been for the past few months. I dread tomorrow, knowing my long weekend will be over and I’ll have to go back to work. Seeing my brother is inevitable and I know the break is too good to last.
I decide to go get changed but scream when the front door comes flying open. It hits the wall so hard I can feel it shake and I clutch my chest as my heart nearly jumps out.
“What’s the fucking point of a phone if you don’t answer the damn thing?” my brother asks as he steps inside.
My eyes dart to the guy who follows him inside. Aaron Slate looks so out of place here with his suit that costs more than I want to know. Mark is in jeans with a simple black shirt and muddy work boots. Men like Slate need people like Mark to do his dirty work so that he can keep his hands clean. I know because I’m slowly being pulled into their world.
“The ringer must be off.” I tuck a piece of my hair behind my ear. “I was going to go over to the animal shelter. Did you need something?” It’s the nicest way I can ask them to leave.
“You and that place.” My brother shakes his head in annoyance.
He thinks I spend too much time there, and maybe I do, but I love the shelter. Grams and I spent every Sunday volunteering and I don’t understand how cute little puppies and kittens could annoy anyone. I picked up hours for them anytime they asked, and there was talk about them hiring me, but I don’t see that going over so well with Mark. With him I get paid in cash and I never know what he’ll ask me to do. When I was younger, I loved the extra money, but I’m not sure everything he has me do is legal. Some of the pick-ups and drop-offs are sketchy with mystery envelopes and boxes.
“I asked you to do one thing.” My brother folds his arms over his chest, making himself look even bigger than he already is. He should really lay off the gym. “One fucking thing and somehow you manage to mess that up. I don’t know why I even keep you around.” His words shouldn’t hurt because I know he’s a jerk, yet I still feel their sting.
Looks like we have Mr. Hyde today. It’s no surprise because he’s worse when Aaron Slate is around and he’s trying to show off. I want to ask what he’s talking about because he asks me to do all kinds of crap for him. It’s a struggle to not roll my eyes, but it wouldn’t be good if I disrespected him in front of Aaron. My brother has never touched me before, but I have a fear that if he was angry enough there isn’t anything he wouldn’t do.
“I wouldn’t say she fucked things up,” Slate chimes in and comes to my defense. I’m surprised, but it’s short lived. “Though she might get herself fucked.” He smiles at me and all the air leaves my lungs as his eyes roam over my body. He’s assessing me like I’m one of the girls that work in his club.
Mark doesn’t say anything and it’s unlike when I’m on his job site. He would threaten to kick the guys’ asses if they talked like that in front of him, but now I wonder if that’s for show. You can’t be beneath my brother in command and disrespect something he feels belongs to him.
My stomach tightens when Slate stares at me, and I remember that I’m wearing old sleep shorts I should have thrown out years ago and a thin shirt. Grams’ house is always hot because the furnace doesn’t kick off when it should.
“A little thick for my taste, but I can see the appeal. Normally she’s wearing baggy clothes, but you really have grown up, haven’t you, Claudia?” His words are laced with desire and my stomach rolls.
I do wear baggy clothes most of the time because I never knew where my brother might send me. Sometimes it’s to get his lunch, but occasionally I get orders to visit some not-so-great places. He tells me not to worry because I’m under his protection and no one would ever hurt me.
I glance at Mark, who is looking anywhere but at me. Everyone knows who Slate is, and each year his power and money grow. I avoid him not only because he terrifies me but because my brother told me to. I took the warning and made sure I was invisible if he was close.
“You met with Brian Carter a few days ago.”
I look at Slate and know Mark isn't coming to my rescue. How did I know that Brian was going to flip my world upside down when I saw him? I nod because I have no idea what he expects me to say. Anything could be used against me right now and it’s best to keep quiet.
“That was something I specifically told Mark to handle,” Slate snaps, and I fight not to flinch at the tone of his voice.
My chest tightens and I wonder where this is going. Maybe I shouldn't have been so rude when I met Brian or avoided his messages and calls. I’m about to pay the price for that. He must have snitched on me to Aaron Slate. For some reason it really hurts that he would betray me, even though I’m nothing to him.
I don’t understand the big deal—he was only picking up building plans. Out of all the places my brother sends me, that was nothing. It must have been too easy because this is about to get dirty. Why else would Slate be standing in my home? He might have grown up around here, but he doesn’t come to this part of town anymore.
“I—” my brother starts to say but stops abruptly when Slate lifts his hand to silence him. If only I had that skill.
“The Carter family is a big acquisition for my company. It will take me to another level and I won’t lose this.” Slate’s eyes sharpen on me, and I know he doesn’t care what he has to do to make sure whoever these people are keep on working with him. “Do you understand me, Claudia?”
I nod again. “I’m sorry if I upset or offended Mr. Carter. I got the plans and handed them right over to Mark, but I can apologize if I did something wrong,” I offer as I glance over at my brother, who doesn’t meet my eyes. Coward.
“Upset isn't the word I’d use.” Slate straightens his tie. “He insists on meeting you again and wants to only work with you.”
“Okay,” I agree because what other choice do I have? “I can do that.”
I don’t know why Slate is so upset. I’ll be nice to the guy. If I can deal with my brother, I think I can handle Brian Carter.
“She’s naïve, isn't she?” Slate says to Mark. He’s talking about me as if I’m not here, but maybe I’m not understanding.
“It’s time she grew up,” Mark says and shrugs. He’s acting as though he doesn't care, and maybe I would believe him if it wasn't for the fact that he won't meet my eyes. Though that might just be his pride.
“And she has grown up.” Slate gives me another creepy smile and a chill runs down my spine. Everything about him is cold, and I swear if I touched him he’d probably feel like ice. “You’ll be agreeable to everything he asks and you’ll make Mr. Carter a very happy man. Do you understand what I’m saying to you, Claudia?”
I clench my fists at my sides and nod again. The idea of sleeping with Brian doesn't disgust me and I hate myself for it. I already begin to wonder what it would be like for him to have his way with me. Would he be rough with me if I put up a fight, or would he be tender if I gave in easily? I don’t know what kind of man he is, yet my body craves his touch.
If I learned anything from Mark, it’s that men like him and Slate don’t take just a little. This is only the beginning of what he’s asking me to do. I know that each time he’s going to take a little more until there’s nothing left. I need to get out of here before that happens. It’s time for a new start anyway. This could be the push I need, because there won’t be any coming back if I agree to give my body to Brian Carter. What won’t they use me for if they’ll throw me to him?
“Let’s go.” Slate gives me one last warning before he goes to the door. He opens it and stops to looks back. “And Claudia…” The cold winter air blows in and I shiver. “Don’t get any ideas about running out on us. You wouldn't want something to happen to that shelter you love so much.” I suck in a breath and he smiles. “You’ve made your bed. Now you’ll lie in it.”
With that, he and Mark leave and the door closes behind them. The finality of his words rings in my ears.