“Sir. Your car is here.”
I look up at my secretary Peggy standing in the doorway of my office. She’s changed. Well, at least I think she has. I would have noticed if she’d been wearing a gown all day at work. Her blonde hair is down like it usually is. She’s always reminded me of a Stepford wife. She’s almost robotic at times. I find it annoying, but she’s good at her job. She never misses anything. She must have something planned tonight. It’s Friday and I still need to change. Not that I want to go. I’ve been dreading this all week.
“They’ll wait,” I tell her.
I know the car is there. I ordered it to arrive twenty minutes ago so I’m sure it’s been there for over thirty. They will wait as long as I want. I’m not in a fucking hurry to get there. The later I get there, the sooner the night will be over. I look back down at my emails, silently dismissing her. I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone right now.
“I know you don’t have a date for tonight, so I thought maybe I could go with you?” I look back up at Peggy, caught off guard by what she’s saying. “I could be a buffer between you and the party if you like. When we have to do some of these business dinners, I could step in,” she adds quickly.
For the first time she seems off kilter and she’s stumbling over her words. She takes two steps into my office, and I debate her offer. Peggy’s professional when it comes to business. But this is personal. I’m going to my childhood home tonight—a place that's filled with so many memories that it’s hard to walk in the door. I used to love going home, but that feeling disappeared when I lost my mom and older brother.
To top it off, my dad replaced my mom so quickly. I never understood how he could love her so much and move on almost immediately. I saw him after he lost them. I could have sworn he was going to follow them into the grave. I can’t blame him. I wanted to do the same. But all too soon he was moving on, and I still had not. I’m stuck in a hollow place, and I can’t bring myself to clear out my brother’s office. It’s across the hall from mine, and I let it stay the way he left it. I won’t let anyone enter it and I haven't even gone in it since he died. I know I’ve gone to the other extreme from my father, and I know it isn’t healthy, but I’m not ready to face it.
Peggy clears her throat. Fuck, I’d forgotten about her, and then I realize I didn't even answer her.
“No,” I say, and I don’t look at her.
“But sir—”
“I have an early conference call tomorrow. Be here on time. Have a good evening,” I tell her, cutting her off.
I stand up from my desk as she exits my office and closes the door. I walk into my attached bathroom and put on my tux. I hate this shit. Almost as much as I hate my dad’s new wife. I don’t know why anyone would want a black-tie affair for Thanksgiving—this has to be her idea.
I wish I only hated her because she moved into my mom's place too quickly, but the real reason I hate her is because I can see right through her. Plus, my mom would never have done shit like this. A fucking tux at the house for some party where we don’t know anyone. I grip the side of the sink thinking about how Friday night dinners at home used to be fun.
I reach under the sink where I keep a bottle of liquor and pull it out. I pour some into a glass and shoot it back before doing it again quickly. I need to numb the flood of memories, but even the burn of the alcohol doesn’t stop them.
Mom would make all of us help her cook. Then she’d pester us about when we’d be giving her grandbabies and daughters-in-law. I’d once entertained the idea of things like that, but not now. Now I know I’ll never marry or have children. If I lost them one day it would be more than I could bear. I’ve lost more in this lifetime than I can bear. I can’t imagine feeling that kind of pain again.
I get ready slowly, trying to drag out the time, but all too soon I’m ready and in the lobby of my office building. When I walk outside, the driver opens the door for me and I slide in. I smile when I see there’s a bar and help myself to another drink. Maybe if I’m drunk enough my dad’s wife won’t fucking annoy me so much, or maybe I’ll end up saying something I shouldn't. Either way, I don’t care. I lay my head back, letting my eyes fall closed for a moment.
“Sir, we’re here,” I hear the driver say. He’s standing at my door holding it open. I unfold myself from the car. I look around and see a good twenty cars filling the long driveway.
“Fucking hell,” I mutter to myself. Maybe it will be so busy in there that I can sneak out without being noticed. “I’ll text you when I’m ready,” I tell the driver. He nods, closing the car door as I head toward the front entry. I don’t bother knocking as I push through the door.
I grit my teeth when it opens and I see the party is in full swing. People are laughing and wandering about.
“Hunter!” I hear my stepmother Porsha gush as she rushes up to me. She tries to hug me, but I take a step back. Her hands like to roam and linger a little too long, something I’ve told my dad about before, but he just shakes his head as if it’s no big deal his wife is rubbing on anything with a dick.
“Where is he?” I ask.
My dad is almost as bad as I am at these things. I don’t know why he keeps letting her throw these parties if he rarely attends them himself. He shows for a few moments, then he disappears back into his office.
She sighs. “You know where he is.”
I nod and head toward the back of the house. When I get to his office, I open the door and find him behind his desk staring at his computer. I glance up at the enormous picture behind him. It’s of him and my mom when they got married. It’s been there for as long as I can remember. Nothing about the house has really changed except for the people inside it.
“Dad.” I walk over to his mini bar, pour myself a drink and then drop into the chair in front of him. I pull at the top of my tux, undoing the tie. I think I had it knotted for all of twenty minutes.
Dad’s face lights up when he sees me, and I feel like an asshole. “I see the gold digger is out there spending your money as fast as she can.”
Dad shrugs like he doesn't care. I clench my teeth. I know the woman could burn money and we’d still never run out, but it still pisses me off.
I chug my drink back before standing and slamming the empty glass down onto his desk. I can feel the buzz flowing through my body. I open my mouth to speak, but he cuts me off.
“Porsha’s daughter is here. I want you to meet her.”
“One money-sucking leech is all I need for one night. I don’t want to meet her mini-me.”
“Hunter,” my dad barks. I look up at him. It’s the first flash of temper I’ve seen from him in a long time. It reminds me of when he thought my mom was getting hit on by someone and he lost it. “You don’t talk about Autumn that way.” His jaw is hard. “Ever.”
“You know what, Dad? Why don’t you enjoy your new family? You seemed so eager to replace the old one, might as well make use of them.”
Pain flashes across his face. I know the feeling. I study him for a second and he looks tired. His hair is even grayer than the last time I saw him only a month ago. I should feel bad, but I’m too angry.
“Son.” He speaks softly this time, and I know that voice. It’s the voice he uses when I’m about to learn a lesson. But I don’t feel like it right now. I don’t want to feel anything at the moment and the liquor is helping me with that. In fact, I think I want to go find more.
“Not tonight, Dad.” I turn to leave and I stop at the door. “I love you,” I say without turning around to look at him. I take a breath and walk out, leaving the door open behind me.
I may be pissed, but my mom would roll over in her grave if I didn't say those words before I walked out of the room. Even when we were mad, we always had to say it to each other. We never walk away without it.
I stumble out and down the hallway in search of the bar I know my stepmonster has to have close by. I dodge people as I make my way through the crowd. A few try to stop and talk to me, but I keep on going. I even ignore the mayor when he tries to grab my attention.
“Scotch,” I tell the bartender when I finally find it. He pours me a drink and I swallow it back. I turn around and look around the living room. The warm liquor has gone straight to my head on an empty stomach, and the room is beginning to look fuzzy. I don’t remember how much I’ve had, but it’s too much too fast.
I need to get some air. I glance over at the door that leads outside and I see Sarah standing there. My stomach protests the sight of her, so I turn and go the other way. She’s a friend of Porsha’s and always tries to attach herself to me. When I see Porsha at the end of the hall talking close to some man I don’t recognize, I head up the stairs, going for my old bedroom. It’s the only clear escape I have right now, and I just need a second to get it together before I get out of here. This was a terrible idea.
I haven't been inside my room in forever, but when I reach it, I turn the knob and walk in. I don’t pay attention to the room to see if it’s any different. I just let myself fall onto the bed and close my eyes.