Tusiata Avia is a poet, performer and children’s writer. Her solo stage show, Wild Dogs Under My Skirt, premiered in New Zealand in 2002 and has since toured in Austria, Germany, Hawai’i, Australia, Bali and Russia. Her first collection of poetry, also titled Wild Dogs Under My Skirt, was published in 2004 and her latest book of poetry, Bloodclot, in 2009. She was the Macmillan Brown Centre for Pacific Studies Artist in Residence at Canterbury University in 2005 and the Fulbright–Creative New Zealand Pacific Writer in Residence at the University of Hawai’i the same year. She is the 2010 Ursula Bethell Writer in Residence at the University of Canterbury.
I remember how he would come home
with mangoes smuggled in as palusami
from his unfamiliar hands.
It was better than Xmas
unwrapping those foreign oranges
from their burnt taro leaf disguises.
He showed us how to cut them
and we took them from him
like grenades
we ran to the backyard to lick the juice
from our arms
and pick the strings from our teeth.
When we came in with our pips
our mother’s was untouched –
she was sick
and tired of mangoes.
I am da devil pa’umuku kirl
I walk down da street shakeshake my susu
I chew gum an smile wif my gold teef flashing
I call out to da good womens
sitting sitting in deir house
Eh, ‘ai kae! An I make dem see my arse.
I am da dog kirl wif da fire in my arse
Dey call me da woman not da kirl
My thighs rub together make da fire in deir house
My fat taro legs my fat taro belly my fat taro susu
I walk pas all da good womens
an I laugh wif my white teef flashing.
I smell like da hot rain flashing
An all da good men are looking for my arse
All da good men are waiting for da back of deir womens
You are da good kirl da sexy kirl da lovelybeautiful kirl
Dey run like da dog I let dem lick my susu
Dey run in da back dey run to deir house.
I walk pas da high chief’ house
I walk on da high-heel shoe like da spear flashingflashing
My bra tighttight so I have da 4 susu
Da whole chief’ council look for my arse
An make da special fine for da pa’umuku kirl
I can hear da laughinglaughing da smiling of da womens.
My red toenails wavewave to da womens
My red toenails shineshine to da womens in deir house
I am da devil pa’umuku kirl
An I laugh when dey fine me wif my red lips flashing
I pull my skirt up an show my fat taro arse
I laugh like da dog da volcano shake my susu.
I am drinking on da road and playing wif my susu
Dancing wif da dogmen running from deir womens
I am laughing at da dogmen licking at my arse
I am laughing at da dogmen deir black arses flashing
We love you sexy kirl we love you beautiful kirl we love you lovely kirl.
I laugh like da dog like da volcano like da arse hole. Dey cry for me like susu
We want you hot rain kirl we have forgotten our womens
We will go to da house of Pulotu we will go wif our black arses flashing.
I want to tattoo my legs.
Not blue or green
but black.
I want to sit opposite the tufuga
and know he means me pain.
I want him to bring out his chisel
and hammer
and strike my thighs
the whole circumference of them
like walking right round the world
like paddling across the whole Pacific
knowing that once you’ve pushed off
loaded the dogs on board
there’s no looking back now, Bingo.
I want my legs as sharp as dogs’ teeth
wild dogs
wild Sāmoan dogs
the mangy kind that bite strangers.
I want my legs like octopus
black octopus
that catch rats and eat them.
I even want my legs like centipedes
the black ones
that sting and swell for weeks.
And when it’s done
I want the tufuga
to sit back and know they’re not his
they never were.
I want to frighten my lovers
let them sit across from me
and whistle through their teeth.
It’s true, my father is an eel
half eel
no one said anything about his tupuaga o le āiga
and no one ever asked.
My family is fucked
I mean really fucked.
My father ate my uncles and my aunties
my mother was a Siamese twin
and there’s nothing really wrong with that
but her sister took both halves of the heart.
My mother married her uncle
which makes me my own niece
and half half eel
and my sister
she just hates me.
All of them started like I did
‘alualutoto
bloodclot
and the only place to go was the sea
and the only place to put them was the sea.
When my breasts swell, as they do at night
I go back down
and there they are circling
like soft sharks with no teeth
and they feed
till they are big enough to look after themselves.
I call them pepe
I call them tupu’aga
(we all have to look after each other).
I heard once that the tupu’aga o le āiga live in your head
and that’s the reason no one should hit you in the head
or even touch it, that
and brain damage.
The old people knew about that
the way we like to hit each other in the head
po
po
poki your ancestor
kalepe your ancestor
ku’i your ancestor
till
you’re
dead
the tupu’aga come and live in my head
shark
shark
shark
eel.
And that’s when it comes to me
the name of my father
Saveasi’uleo, and how he ate his siblings.