TAFEA POLAMALU

In addition to European and Native American ancestry, Tafea Polamalu has ancestral ties to the island of Ta‘ū in Manua. He was raised in the blue-collar rural town of Tenmile in the mountains of Southwest Oregon. He worked for thirteen years as a wild-land firefighter. He is currently living in Oregon raising his two beautiful daughters: Milaneta and Maleata.

Afakasi Philosophy

I used to carry my Sāmoaness like

a mouth-full of salty semen: never knowing

whether to spit or swallow.

But that is the ethos of a halfy, right?

Born on a twilight shoreline, unable to define

land from sea or darkness from light

Because half is less than whole, right?

At least, this is how we are made to feel.

So unfold your collar to hide your gills and

wear closed-toed shoes so society will not see

your freakish webbed feet

Or,

I have a better idea,

let’s blow cum bubbles at

other peoples’ troubles and

celebrate our amphibious identities

Daddy Said

Son,

I prunk you hea

pecause tis is ta lan of

opprotunity

In Samoa,

te is nofing

To you heard me Son?

nofing

Hea in Ameika,

ta worlt is at

you finka tip

and ta sky is ta limits

You know why I nefa

teach you Samoan Son?

cause Samoan no ket you

anyfing in life

tis is ta white man’s worlt

an Enklish is

only fink tat matta

You heard me Son?

Tis is ta white man’s worlt

an at ta en of ta tay, we all haf

to walk fru his toor

at ta en of ta tay, we all haf

walk fru his toor

cause he sign ta check Son

look at me,

my whole life i strukle wif

fo try speak ta Enklish

i strukle my ass off Son

so tat you can ket you

pestes echucation

So i make tamn sure

my sons masta Enklish

pecause tis is what pestes

You see what I’m said Son?

Tis is why it pisses me when

te say, ‘How come I nefa teachet

you speak Samoan?’

What ta hell te fink I prunk you here fo eh?

tes stupit hets know

nofing apout Samoa

Rememper sumfing Son,

Ameika is ta pestes place in ta worlt

so ket ta echucation

pe ta tocto

pe ta lawya

tis is my tream fo you

tis is why fo i prunk you hea

fo to kif you ta

opprotunity to haf ta

fings i nefa haf

You see what I’m said Son?

Okay, koot talk

alu su‘esu‘e

ko prush ta teef

an to ta maf homewok

Nifo Oti

1

You no longer drip

the sweet war blood of

your enemies

You no longer hang their

freshly severed heads

from your lave:

hook-shaped fang

Nifo oti

Tonight

the aitus call your name!

2

Tooth of Death

in a colonial breath

you have ‘progressed’ from

wood-bone flesh

to stainless steel

You have moved

from the art of killing to

the art of dancing and

traded red blood for

blue flame

No one knows your name or

remembers your former life

they now call you the ‘fire knife’

3

Siva Afi

Fire Dance

‘Ailao

Knife Dance

‘Ailao Afi

Fire Knife Dance

Warrior from then: that pre-Christ dark age

time warped to now: today

you dance on your stage cage

for minimum wage

what is the source of

your rage?

They say,

just smile and spin your

savage knife

you are here to woo

papālagi eyes

You know the routine,

spin, break, under the legs

around the head

side to side, between the legs

toss and catch behind the back …

Hear the oooos and aaaaahs

hear the pate and the lali drumming

don’t forget to smile because

a pleasant-faced savage keeps

the tourists cumming

Thank You Colonialism For:

Jesus and Crack

Duct Tape and SPAM

Elongated Lifespans and Artificial Tans

Tongue Scrapers and Anthrax

401Ks and Bikini Wax

Bougainville and Big Macs

Pi = 3.14159 and Colostomy Bags

Abu Ghraib and Breast Implants

Joe Camel and Uncle Sam

Hiroshima and Styrofoam

Anthropology and the Tijuana Donkey Show

Dangling Modifiers and the World Bank

The Equator and Swank

Vasectomies and Segways

Six-Legged Frogs and the KKK

Mad Cow and Columbus Day

Facebook and the Southeast Asian Sex Trade

‘Counter Terrorism’ and ‘Failed States’

Jersey Shore and Blue Ray

The Greenhouse Effect and Preparation H

The MEF and the GRA

The US–Mexican Border and Menthols

Sputnik and Cubicles

Bernie Madoff and Urinals

Rogaine and Wall Street

The Easter Bunny and Wounded Knee

Dick Cheney and Anal Beads

The Jewish State of Israel and Anabolic Steroids

The Invention of the ‘Savage’ and Suppositories

Dog the Bounty Hunter and YouTube

Skin-Whitening Bleach and Sinking Tuvalu

Throw Pillows and Spermacide

Halliburton and Pimp My Ride

Archdiocese Paedophilia and Uranium-235

Fox News and Sound Bites

The Panama Canal and Astroglide

The Indian Removal Act and Twitter

The ‘Discovery’ of the Pacific Ocean and Lucifer

Liposuction and Disposable Diapers

Survivor Samoa and Pacemakers

The Middle Passage and the My Lai Massacre

The Electric Chair and Henry Kissinger

Jim Crow Laws and the Polynesian Cultural Center

The Invention of the ‘Nigger’ and the Federal Reserve

‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ and Darfur

Manifest Destiny and the Hunt for Assata Shakur

Smallpox Blankets and the Twisted Double Helix

Reaganomics and Sherm Sticks

The Ho Chi Minh Trail and the Jena Six

Laser Eye Surgery and G-Strings

Super Big Gulps and the Letter ‘Z’

iPods and H3s

The CIA and MP3s

SUVs and PCP

PNG and AIG

The FBI and ATVs

ATMs and PS3s

FOBs and M16s

The LAPD and RPGs

WOW and MSG

The ATF and LCD HD TVs

PTSD and WMDs

East Timor and Waikīkī

The NRA and Skeet Skeet Skeet

OPEC and the WTO

The Invention of the ‘Third World’ and CEOs

Battery-Operated Nasal Clippers and HMO

Eight-Minute Abs and The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test

The Teabaggers and Identity Theft

Blackwater and Glenn Beck

Viagra and the Age of Enlightenment

1-800-GET-U-SUM and Kevlar Vests

Red Bull and the Tuskegee Experiment

Artificial Insemination and Rambo

Sexting and Waco

Enemas and Castle Bravo

Blood Diamonds and the Alamo

Katrina and XM Radio

The Name ‘New Zealand’ and Drano

Lobotomies and Mobile Homes

Tribal Identification Cards and Guantánamo

Syphilis and George W. Bush

The Mormon Tabernacle Choir and Hydroponic Purple Kush

Ass-less Chaps and Captain Cook

Lygers and Corn Dogs

Drone Attacks and Enron

The Great Melting Pot and Botox

CNMI and Flight 77

Free Trade and 9/11

Hell and Heaven

The Immaculate Conception and the International Space Station

Erectile Disfunction Medication and One Nation

Under God

Indivisible

With Liberty

And Justice for All