I yawned through first period the next morning, and every muscle in my body reminded me of the night before. By lunchtime, I’d decided I would lock my classroom door and take a nap and woke after twenty minutes feeling much better, and even better after another cup of coffee. By the time the last bell rang, I was ready to conquer the second part of my day. The portion that would include Jamie. Thinking of her gave me energy.
After school, I headed out to the inn. Breck had lent me his truck for however long I needed it, for which I was grateful. Once I got the payment for the gazebo project, I could put a decent down payment on something new. Maybe a small SUV? I could picture Jamie and myself in it together as we drove to the park for a run. Then we’d go back to our place and cook dinner and share about our days. I could tell her about my students, and she could relay stories of her customers.
I blinked away the daydream as I pulled into the parking lot of the inn. The sight of Jamie’s car made my stomach flutter. You’re a fool for love, I told myself. You could get hurt.
I told myself to shut it and parked in the back, near my construction site. My muscle aches had subsided and I was ready to get to it. If all went as planned, I’d be done by the end of the week with plenty of time to spare. The wedding was still a couple of weeks away. Jamie would be able to rest easy knowing that all would be just as the bride requested. I wanted her to know she could trust me to do as I promised. In all things, not just the project. The more time we spent together, the more I could see how she watched me for clues for when I would leave or let her down. Not if but when. A distinct difference.
I worked for a good hour, listening to music in my headphones as I sawed and sanded and nailed. The weather, although sunny, was cold and crisp. A gorgeous fall day that required work gloves and a quilted vest to stay warm. The scent of woodsmoke from the fireplace reminded me why autumn was my favorite time of year, especially in Emerson Pass.
Mostly, I’d kept my insecurities from taking over my brain today. However, as I worked, it worried me that Jamie had not come out to say hello. Was she regretful about the night before? Had we taken it too far and now she was worried about how it would affect the project and our friendship? That one worried me the most. What if she wished she’d never agreed to work with me or spend all this time together?
When I looked up from my work, Jamie was striding across the lawn toward me. I yanked out my earbuds and stuffed them into my pockets. My chest filled with warmth when she smiled at me and waved. Darn, she was gorgeous—all business today with her hair in a bun and dressed in black slacks and a beige turtleneck sweater.
“There’s a sexy man in the garden of my inn.” Jamie held out a napkin with a gooey-looking cookie wrapped inside. “I thought I better come investigate and see if you needed a cookie.”
I pulled her into an embrace. “I’m glad you did. I was starting to think you were avoiding me.”
“No, I just got really busy. Lots of check-ins today, which I’m excited about.” She wrapped her arms around my neck. “But all I could think about was getting out here to see you.”
“Really?” It was as though she could read my mind and knew just what I needed to hear. “I was out here thinking you might have regretted last night. I didn’t hear from you all day and you know, my mind kind of spiraled.”
“I totally understand.” She pressed her mouth to mine. “But that wasn’t it. As a matter of fact, I can’t stop thinking about last night.”
“Full disclosure, I had to take a nap at lunch today. Not that I’m complaining.”
She laughed. “I did the same thing in my office. If we meet up tonight, we should try to get a little more sleep.”
I doubted I’d be able to keep my hands off her if she allowed me another night in her bed. But I couldn’t let the good feelings keep me going. “If we meet up? Would you like to?”
She kissed me again. “I would like to meet up tonight and will even feed you.”
My limbs buzzed with joy. She was going to feed me. She wanted to see me. “I’m there.”
She pulled me behind a tree to kiss me again, this time a properly messy one. “I’ll see you tonight.”
Holding hands, I walked her back to the patio. It wasn’t until we were at the steps that I saw her. Arianna stood just inside the French doors, watching us. Even with the glare of the window, I could tell she didn’t like what she saw.
So much for faking our relationship, I thought. Whatever Arianna had witnessed was real. I was in. Fully in. No one could change my mind about pursuing Jamie, not even Arianna. My broken heart had healed at last. All it took was a few years and the kiss of my favorite innkeeper. If only I’d pursued her earlier. But no. I wasn’t ready then, and maybe she wasn’t, either. Now, though, we both seemed willing to see where this could take us. I was grateful.
I lifted a hand to wave at Arianna. She fluttered her fingers at me and plastered a fake smile across her face in tandem.
“Looks like we had an audience.” As soon as I said it, I wondered if she’d known Arianna was standing there watching and had come out to give her a show. Or were the kisses real? I inwardly groaned. Why must I torture myself this way? Take things for what they seem. It was impossible, though, not to wonder all the time about people’s motives and whether they would strike out at any moment.
“Seems that way.” Jamie’s eyes sparkled, and she squeezed my hand. “No, I didn’t know she was there. That’s not why I kissed you.”
“How did you know I went there?”
“Because I would have too.” Jamie turned to face me, giving me another light peck. “We’re the same.”
“Messed up.”
“Messy, for sure. Always looking for the moment when betrayal first becomes evident.”
“Yeah, that,” I said.
She looked into my eyes. “Maybe this time we won’t be left and made to feel like it’s our fault.” One of her staff came out then and called out to her that they needed a decision on wine for happy hour. “I’ll see you later, okay?”
I nodded and watched her prance up the stairs in her black pumps. Those pants clung to all the right places, I thought, as I turned to head back to work. That smile, too. It was as genuine as Arianna’s was fake. How had I not known that all along?
* * *
I was putting the last of my tools in the truck when someone called out to me. Arianna’s voice. I turned to see her coming down the steps of the patio. Wrapped in a knit shawl that engulfed her, she seemed cold and way too skinny.
Leaning against the truck, I waited for her. “What’s up?” I asked when she was standing in front of me.
“I saw you out here and thought I’d say hello.” She hugged herself and shivered. “Got cold all of a sudden, didn’t it?”
“Yeah. I hope you have a warm wedding dress.”
She ignored that and launched into the reason she was here. “I wanted to say—I’m sorry about last night. I know it was kind of a disaster.”
“Seemed fine to me.” Liar.
“Jamie doesn’t like Rob, that much was obvious.”
“Is there a reason she should?” I asked, amused.
“Well, no. It’s just I thought it would be good if we could clear the air and all be friends. But after last night, I see that’s not going to happen.”
“There’s too much of a past between us,” I said. “My relationship with Rob was really toxic. I see that now. And the one with you was about the same. I used to do that, you know. Surround myself with people who treated me like crap, maybe to prove to myself that my suspicions were correct. I was crap. I don’t do that anymore.”
“I’m sorry if I made you feel bad.”
“You wanted me to be someone else. Until you found the one you really wanted. The one who you didn’t need to change.”
She tilted her head up to the sky, which was that beautiful twilight color of blue with a hint of violet. “I don’t know what you thought happened between us that was toxic.”
“You cheated on me with my nemesis. How about that?”
“But in the middle, before Rob, did I treat you poorly?”
It was obviously something that bothered her. She wanted absolution so she could walk away, back to her new shiny life, without feeling like a bad person. “You were fine,” I said. “Don’t worry about it. Marry Rob and have the life you wanted. I’m happy for you.”
“Yeah, okay. By the way, Rob was kind of an ass last night. If you could see him like I do, you might understand why. He’s jealous of you, and his solution is to try to cut you down.”
“Jealous of me? Why?”
“He always has been. The way you are with people, how they flock to you and worship you. He wishes he had that quality. Even if he’d never admit it, I know that’s what it is. You remind him of all the things he hates about himself.”
Interesting theory. Was she right? Perhaps, but regardless, she obviously knew Rob better than I ever had. “I hope you’ll be happy,” I said. “Truly. You don’t have to feel bad about me anymore.”
“I can see you’ve made a good life here. And Jamie seems good for you. The girl’s feisty and wicked loyal. That much was evident last night. She’d defend you to the death. That’s the kind of love you need, Darby.”
“Isn’t that what we all need?”
“Some of us need it more than others, I think.” She gazed down at her tan pants tucked into brown riding boots. “That was the thing about us. I couldn’t ever be that person for you. You deserve to be with someone who can be.”
I nodded and left it at that. “I’ve got to run. Jamie’s expecting me.”
“Sure, go. Thanks for all your hard work on this.” She gestured toward the gazebo, which now had posts all the way around. I’d put on the roof tomorrow.
Out of nowhere, Arianna thrust herself against me. I stumbled backward as my arms instinctively wrapped around her. She reached up to kiss me, but I moved my face just in time and it landed on my ear.
I put my hands on her upper arms and physically moved her aside. “What are you doing?”
“Saying goodbye?”
“That shouldn’t be a question. You said it a long time ago. Go find Rob. There’s nothing for you here. I’m madly in love with Jamie. There’s a real chance for us to be happy together. Can’t you leave it alone? Leave me alone? Haven’t you done enough to hurt me?”
I got in the truck and started the engine, expecting her to walk back inside. Instead, she stood watching my truck head out to the road. The slump of her shoulders made me curious. Was she really as happy as she claimed to be?
You know what, I thought. It’s not my problem. Whatever she does is her business. I have my own life. One that included really good friends and the possibility for real love with an amazing woman. Books and students, too. Life was good. For the first time since the disastrous proposal, I realized how truly rich my life had become, regardless of what was in my bank account.
The only emotion left was one of indifference. She could do whatever she wished to do. I was free. With that came a tremendous burst of energy. I could not wait to see Jamie. I’d splurge and stop for flowers. They were overpriced at the market, but what the heck? Jamie deserved something pretty, something frivolous. We were at the beginning of something wonderful. There was no way I was letting that spoiled, lying woman ruin it. She was a narcissist through and through. I hadn’t seen it before. How could I not have? It was so obvious, the way she’d come out there to quash whatever good had come into my life. She didn’t want me, but she couldn’t just let me be happy. I didn’t get it, but I could see it.
Roses or mums? That was the more important question.